Paget: Thank you. I made a mistake myself.
Mulder: What's that Mr. Paget?
Scully: In my book I had written that Agent Scully falls in love, but that's obviously impossible. Agent Scully is already in love.
Scully: This seat taken?
Mulder: No, but I should warn you, I'm experiencing violent impulses.
Scully: Well, I'm armed so I'll take my chances.
Scully: Well it seems to me that the best relationships, the ones that last are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere and the person who was just a friend is suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.
Mulder: (Talking about Scully who has gone undercover with him as his wife) Well we just spooned up and fell asleep like little baby cats.
Scully: What do you mean you want me to do another autopsy? And why do I have to do it right now? I just spent hours on my feet doing an autopsy all for you. I do it all for you, Mulder. You know I havn't eaten since 6:00 this morning and all that was was half of a cream cheese bagle and it wasn't even real cream cheese it was light cream cheese. And now you want me to run off and do another autopsy?
Scully: Why don't I have a desk?
Mulder: What do you mean? I always assumed that that was your area.
Scully: Back there...
Mulder: Ok, so we'll have them send down another desk and there won't be any room to move down here, but we can put them really close together face to face, mabey play some battleship.
Scully: That was Detective Manners. He said they just found your bleepin UFO.
Mulder: Bring it on.
Scully: He had 'big buck teeth?'
Mulder: He had a slight overbite.
Scully: No he didn't. And that's significant? How?
Mulder: I'm just trying to be thorough.
Mulder: I'm Agent Fox Mulder, this is Agent Dana Scully we're with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Mind if we come in?
Scully: Baby me and you'll be peeing through a catheter.
Scully: Mulder, are you OK?
Mulder: Yeah, aside from terminal cell phone withdrawl, that and I gotta pee. Where are you?
Mulder: Do you have an old cemetary in town, off the beaten path, the creepier the better?
Scully: I mean what ever happened to trust no one, Mulder?
Mulder: Oh, I changed it to trust everyone. I didn't tell you?
Scully: These poor souls have been dead for years. Let them rest in peace. Let sleeping dogs lie.
Mulder: Well, I won't sit idely by while you hurl cliches at me. Preperation is the father of insiration.
Scully: Necessity is the mother of invention.
Mulder: The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
Scully: Eat drink and be marry for tomarrow we may die.
Mulder: I scream, you scream, we all scream for not fat tofuttee rice dream cycles.
Clyde Bruckman: You know, there are worst ways to go but I can't think of a more undignified one than autoerotic exfixiation.
Mulder: Why are you telling me that?
Mulder: Scully, are you coming on to me?
Mulder: Dana? He never even knew your first name!
Scully: Are you going to interupt me or what?
Mulder: No, go ahead...Dana.
Scully: Look, Mulder I have to go.
Mulder: What. Do you have a date or something? ....Your kidding.
Scully: I have everything under control. I will talk to you later.
Mulder: Ah, he wants advice. Dating advice.
Scully: Dating advice? From whom?
Mulder: Yours truely. ...Hello? Hey, Scully. Scully, you there?
Scully: I heard you. Mulder, when was the last time you went on a date?
Mulder: I will talk to you later.
Scully: Blind leading the blind.
Mulder: If I find out you lied to me, your a dead man.
Mulder: Dear diary. Today my heart lept when Agent Scully suggesting spontainious human combustion.
Mulder: Oh, they told me that even though my deoderants made for a woman, its strong enough for a man.
Mulder: What's wrong with Baywatch?
Gibson: You've got a dirty mind.
Scully: Mulder, please just keep reminding him you were drugged.
Mulder: Would you stop that.
Scully: It couldn't hurt.
Mulder: Stop it!
Skinner: (Enters the room) Scully? Mulder?
Mulder: (Jumps up) I was drugged!
Mulder: Ene meene chily beany the spirits are about to speak.
Mulder: (Pushing on pigs) Scully, would you think less of me as a man if I told you that I was kinda excited right now?
Eddy Van BlundHt: (As Mulder) FBI. F B I
Mulder: I do not GAZE at Scully.
Mulder: Go girl.
Casandra Spender: (Upon meeting Mulder) Oh, my God! I think I'm gonna pee the floor.
Mulder: (laughing) Uh, don't do that....
Mulder: Honey! I'm home!
Mulder: Isn't that right honeybunch?
Scully: That's right poopyhead.
Mulder: Do you want to make that honeymoon video now?
Mulder: I did not!
Mulder: Hey, Scully.
Scully: Yes?
Mulder: I love you.
Scully: Oh, brother.
Scully: I'm Agent Scully, this is Agent Mulder, we're with the FBI.
Mr. Stokes: Jehovah's Witness?
Scully: No, sir. Federal Bureau of Investigation.
Mulder: But we do have a free copy of The Watchtower for you if you'd like.
Mulder: Why don't you sing something.
Scully: No, Mulder.
Mulder: Well, if you sing something I'll know you're awake.
Scully: Mulder, you don't want me to sing. I can't carry a tune.
Mulder: It doesn't matter sing anything.
Scully: Jeremiah was a bull frog. Was a good friend of mine. Never understood a single word he said. But I helped him drink his wine...
Mulder: Chorus
Scully: Joy to the world. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea. Joy to you and me.
Mulder: (To Scully as she enters her apartment and begins to undress unaware of his presence) Keep goin' FBI woman.
Scully: (To Mulder who wasn't quite himself at the time) I'd kiss you if you wern't so damn ugly.
Scully: Is that a hound I hear baying out in the mourne?
Mulder: No, actually that was a left cheek sneak.
Mulder: Common, Scully. Get those little legs movin' common.
Scully: Why do you always have to drive? Because your the guy? Because your the big macho man?
Mulder: No. I was just never sure your little feet could reach the pedals.
Mulder: Scully, marry me.
Scully: I don't want to shoot you!
Mulder: It's you or me, me or you. One of us has to do it.
Scully: For the first time, I feel time like a heartbeat. The seconds pumping in my breast like a reconing. The numinous mysteries that once seemed so distant and unreal, threatening clarity in the presence of a truth entertained not is youth, but only in its passage. I feel these words as if their meaning were weight being lifted from me, knowing that you will read them and share my burned as I have come to trust no other. That you should know my heart, look into it. Finding there the memory and experience that belong to you, that are you, is a comfort to me know as I feel the teathers loose and the prospects darken for the continuance of a journey that began not so long ago but which began again faith shaken and strenthened by your convictions. If not for which I might never have been so strong now as I cross to face you and look at you, incomplete. Hopeing that you will forgive me for not making the rest of the journey with you.
Scully: Ok, Mulder. But I'm warning you. If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.
Scully: One day you'll ask me to speak of a truth of the miracle of your birth, to explain what is unexplained. And if I falter or fail on this day, know there is an answer, my child, a sacred imperishable truth, but one you may never hope to find alone. Chance meeting your perfect other, your perfect opposite, your protector and endangerer. Chance embarking with this other on the greatest of journeys. A search for truths fugitive and imponderable. If one day, this chance may befall you, my son, do not fail or falter to sieze it. The truths are out there. And if one day you should behold a miracle as I have in you, you will learn the truth is not found in science, or on some unseen plain, but by looking into your own heart and in that molment you will be blessed, and stricken. For the truest truths are what hold us together or keep us painfully, desperatly apart.
Scully: Scully.
Mulder: Hi, my name is Fox Mulder. We used to sit next to eachother at the FBI. How's your X-File coming?
Scully: Don't ask too many questions. I don't care what you do, or who you do, or who you have to grease. I need information and I need it now. Are we clear on that?
Spender: Crystal.
Morris Fletcher (As Mulder): Are you out of your pretty little mind?
Scully: Am I out of MY mind? Mulder, YOU are out of YOUR mind. What is up with you? I'm thinking about having you examined for mental illness, or drug use, or maybe a massive head injury.
Maurice: You drink? Take drugs? Get high? Are you overcome by the impuse to make everyone believe you?
Mulder: (Says "no" to each question)
Mulder: It's Mr. Mulder to you you peanut picken bastard.
Mulder: (To Scully) Wow. Admit it, you just want to play house.
Scully: You ready?
Mulder: Let's get it on honey.
Mulder: (To Scully) Woman, get back in here and make me a sandwitch.
Scully: You set us up. You're in on this with Lucas Henrey. This was a trap for Mulder because he helped put you away. Well, I came here to tell you that if he dies because of what you've done, four days from now nobody will stop be from being the one that will throw the switch and gas you out of this life for good you son of a bitch.
Boggs: Dana, your the one that believed me.
Scully: No, no I do not believe you.
Boggs: You don't believe me? Maybe you'll believe yourself.
Scully: I want you to do me a favor. It's not negotiable. Either you do it or I kill you, do you understand?
Scully: I don't know how you could think that what they say is even remotely plausable.
Mulder: I think it's remotely plausable that someone might think your hot.
Mulder: You shot me first.
Scully: I didn't shoot you, you shot me.
Lydia: I don't show my hole to just anyone.
Mulder: Why are you showing it to me?
Scully: Mulder, you need to keep warm. You bodies still in shock.
Mulder: I was once told that the best way to regenerate body heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with someone else who's already naked.
Scully: Well, maybe if it rains sleeping bags you'll get lucky.
Mulder: You know, I never thought I'd say this to you, Scully, but you smell bad.
Scully: Sure, fine, whatever.
Scully: However, I must remind you. This goes against the Bureau's policy of male and female agents consorting in the same hotel room while on assignment.
Mulder: Try any of that tail hook crap on me, Scully, and I'll kick your ass.
Scully: Well, its obviously not a vampire.
Mulder: Why not?
Scully: Because they don't exists.
Mulder: Imagine you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year didn't I, Scully?
Eddy Van Blundht: (As Muder) You looking at me? There aint nobody else here, you must be looking at me. You want a piece of this?
Scully: You never saw this. This didn't happen. You tell anyone, your a dead man.
