-*-*-GuRL Po3M-*-*-
Everyday I give thanks to the Goddess
I have two mounds upon my bodice
I shave my legs, I sit down to pee
Can justify any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon
Can get a massage without a hard-on
I can balance the checkbook, can pump my own gas
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles at any cost,
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.
I never forget an important date
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late
I don't watch movies with lots of gore
Don't need instant replay to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch,
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.
I don't wear the same underwear everyday,
The food in my fridge has no sign of decay.
Don't burp, don't belch and I certainly don't fart,
Ballet, not football, is what I consider an art
Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best
Would you look at my face,
Not at my chest!
I don't have a problem
Expressing my feelings
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.
Don't call me a girl,
A babe or a chick.
I am a WOMAN,
Get it, you prick?!

"FRIENDS"
Shhh... I have a secret... If you wanna know ... I'll tell you!!!
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I LUV YOU!!!
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I got your back You got mine,
I'll help you out Anytime.
~*~*~
To see you hurt To see you cry,
Makes me weep And wanna die.
~*~*~
And if you agree To never fight,
It wouldn't matter Who's wrong or right.
~*~*~
If a broken heart Needs a mend,
I'll be right there To the end.
~*~*~
If your cheeks are wet From drops of tears,
Don't you worry, Let go of your fears.
~*~*~
Hand in hand Love is sent,
We'll be friends Till the end.
~*~*~

Dr. Seuss Explains Why Computers Sometimes Crash.....

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort,
and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash;
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash;
and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
til your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse;
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk
and the macrocode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!

~**~**~**The Top Ten Men**~**~**~

1. The doctor because he says "take off your clothes"
2. The dentist beacause he says "open wide"
3. The hairdresser beacuase he says "Do you want it teased or blown?"
4. The milkman because he says "do you want it in the front or the back?"
5. The interior decorator because he says "once you have it all in you'll love it"
6.The Banker because he says,"If you take it out to soon, you'll lose interest"
7. The police officer because he says"spread em"
8. The mailman because he always delivers his package
10. The hunter because he always goes deep in the bush and shoots twice

~~~~~~~SHORT POEMS~~~~

Roses are red, Pickles are green I love your legs and whats between

I like your style, I like your class, but most of all i like your ass

Kissing is a habit, Fucking is a game, Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain, The guy says i love you,You believe its true, But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure, 9 months in pain, 3 days in hospital, A baby without a name, The baby is a bastard, The mother is a whore This never would've happened If the rubber hadn't torn

Holy mother, full of grace
Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his Dick, the one I sucked
Bless the bed, in which we fucked
And if my mum happened to walk in
Bless the shit I'd be in.

Sex is when a guys communication
enters a girls information
to increase the population
for a younger generation
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration

Roses are red,Violets are corny, When I think of youOhh baby I get horny, Eat me,Beat Me, Bite me, Blow me, Suck me, Fuck me, Very slowly, if you kiss me, don't be sassy Use your tongue and make it nasty!!!!

Sex is bad Sex is a sin Sins are forgiven So stick it in.

Never say I love you
If you really don't care
Never talk about feelings
If they aren't really there
Never hold my hand
If you are going to break my heart
Never say you are going to
If you don't plan to start
Never look into my eyes
If all you do is lie
Never say hello
If you really mean good bye
If you really mean forever
Then say you will try
Never say forever
Cause forever makes me cry.