Maria's eyes filled up and Michael dropped his head to look at the carpet. "Damn it... it's coming out all wrong. Fix this you idiot!* He opened his mouth to continue on still not looking up. A surging pain filled the left side of his face and he tumbled backwards off the coffeetable, flat on his ass. Bewildered, he shook his head and opened his mouth, glancing up at the small figure that stood over him. Her eyes wern't filled with tears anymore... now they were filled with rage.
"You are a pig!" She screamed at him...tears running down her face. " You follow me- knowing all about what I do and what is going on with my family. You never contact me, no matter how much I cried over you! And now, you drag me to this apartment and throw it in my face that you have this sudden revelation that you have no feeling for me what so ever? " Tears streamed down her face as she threw the blanket from the couch in his face. " You have some nerve! Of all the fucked up things you have ever done to me... this.... oh this takes the cake!"
Michael sat stunned on the floor, still leaning somewhat on his back. " You punched me!" he exclaimed, rubbing the sore side of his face.
"That's the least that you deserve. " she walked towards where her backpack rested on the hallway floor. "And I better get out of here before I do more damage to you.'
"Damn it Maria!" Michael hoisted himself up off the floor and in three long strides he blocked her exit from the hallway. "I'm not finished!"
"Really?" she asked. " What else do you have to tell me... that you hate me?? That you never wanted anything from me other than a quick feel in the middle of the day?? huh?? That you hate the way I dress?? the way I style my hair?? My makeup?? The way I smell?? what!!" she ways obviously about to breakdown. *what is he trying to do to me? I'm gonna crack right here in front of him... I don't want to cry in front of him now... not now*
"No..." he said softly. "Maybe I started this the wrong way..."
"If you meant something else than that was not the way to start it... no not at all." She was still fuming, but he had blocked her exit...she had not other choice but than to listen to him.
He held his hand out to her. "Can I start this over again?" she looked at his hand with some trepidation and then at his eyes. They were pleding with her... the left one beging to swell. "Please?" He asked. She sighed and placed her hand in his as he lead her back to the couch.
"This better be good buddy... so far I think I have run the full gammet on all the emotions available." she spoke to the back of his head. He smiled, a little lopsided, given the pain that still existed in his face. He'd fix that later.
She sat back on the couch and he picked the coffetable up from where it had fallen with him and sat back down. He hadn't let go of her hand and she didn't know what to think of it. Was he just trying to keep her here while he stomped on her heart? Or was it something else... she couldn't let herself think about it. It would hurt too much if she was wrong.
He smirked and glanced at the floor before meeting her eyes. "If you had of let me finsh before you slugged me I probably could have explained it a lot better." he ran his free hand through his hair. "I want you to not move or say a word until I finish...think you can handle that??"
She nodded, swallowing hard, closing her eyes in preparation.
"Okay..." he took a deep breath and began. "Isabelle and I..."
She pulled her hand back from his as he said her name. She couldn't be touching him if he began to go into details.
"I thought you agreed to no movement.." he reminded her, softly taking her hand back into his. "Isabelle and I never did anything... we couldn't. It would have just been too wierd, not to mention the fact that it would feel like we'd be betraying our hearts" He dropped his eyes to the floor and Maria let out a breath she hadn't realized she's been holding. "Isabelle loves Alex." He laughed. "It was strange to hear her admit it... but she does. And I... Maria... I don't love you."
Tears ran down her face as she wimpered. *Why is he doing this to me??*
His head shot up and he caught the distress in her eyes. "Oh... Maria... hold on. Wait!" He kneeled in front of her, brushing her tears off her cheek. She closed her eyes and he leaned his forehead against hers. " There is no word to discribe how I feel about you... about how you make me feel. Love just doesn't cut it for me. You make me laugh... cry... sometimes even tear my hair out!" She opened her eyes to find his sparkling in front of her. "You make me whole... There is no way I would have gotten as far as I did without you. I feel like for the past month I have been spining in circles without you. I can't say I love you Maria, because it doesn't do my feelings any justice. How can I explain what it is you are to me?"
She didn't answer him... she was still in awe of all he was saying. He took her silence as an alarm.
"I know I waited so long to tell you... but how could I walk back into your life after forcing you out of mine?? It was just this morning when I woke up I realied just how broke I was... I cracked. I needed to tell you." He pulled back from her and sighed. "I know to ask you to forgive me sounds really lame... I can't even begin to say it...."
Maria sat bolt right up and looked Michael in the eye. "Wait right there, Michael Guerin."
Michael tried to read her eyes... was she upset, scared?? Angry?? He couldn't tell.
*Oh shit... what have I done now?*
~~~~~
Maria stood from her place on the couch... he serched her eyes for some sign of what she was feeling to no avail. He thought he caught a hint of hurt in her eyes. *Damn it!! What is it now?*
She pushed past him and headed to the kitchen. He ran his hands over his face and back through his hair. " I thought you weren't gonna move?" he mummbled into his hands.
"Oh well," she replied, opening the doors feircely. "I guess you thought wrong then." He watched her as she scanned the counter, and then moved everything around on his shelves... what was she looking for??
"Are you hungrey or something?" he asked her, rising from his place on the coffee table. "Cause I'm thinking right now is not the time to be hunting for food. What are you looking for?" Her head was now delving deep into his fridge. He started towards the kitchen, triping in her bookbag that laid on the floor. He gripped the side of the couch for stablility. "Damn it!" he memmbled. She looked up over the fridge door and glared at him.
"THAT!" She rasied her voice slightly, but it still came out cold and unfeeling. "I'm looking for the reason for THAT!"
"You're bookbag?" He asked, picking it up off the floor and furrowing his brow in confusion. He chuckled, walking towards the kitchen. "And youthought you were gonna find it in the fridge?"
"No." She mummbled into the freezer. "i'm looking for the reason why you are acting this way... the reason why you are saying all these things to me."
He was next to her now... the freezer door standing between them. He reached underneth the door and ran is fingers down her arm. "Maria, what are you talking about?"
She pulled back from his touch and headed to the cupbords under the sink. "I am not going through the same thing that Liz did when this happened. I'm learning from her mistakes. I am not going through of emotional upheaval because fo a good time you decided to have."
"WHAT??" he was completely confused now. What the hell was she talking about? What other reason could he have for telling her all these things? And what the hell did Liz have to do with any of this?
She glanced at him from her crouched position by the sink. She stood, full of anger yet again and walked to face him. Michael almost took a step back, but blinked, figuring whatever Maria was gonna say or do to him, he probably deserved it.
"Where is is?" She asked, looking all over his face for the answers.
"Where is what?" He returned a question... "what the hell are you.."
"The alcohol, Michael," she interupted him. " Where is the alcohol?"
His brow soften from it's scrunched position. She thought he was drunk... not drunk really... but was suffering from the effects of it on his alien body. He chuckled.
"I am not kidding Michael... this is NOT funny." She lifted her hands to her hips. " What did you try, huh?? Vodka?? A bit of Captain Morgan? Maybe some gin??"
He was full out laughing now, and she was not impressed. "AGGGHHHH!!" She screamed and began her search of the kitchen again."Nevermind." she mumbled. "I'll find it myself."
He sobered himself from his laughter and looked at her, pulling out the boxes of Captain Crunch and Kraft Dinner from the shelves. "Maria, I haven't been drinking." he spoke to her back, smiling.
"I don't believe you Michael... This is not you... you don't talk like this. You don't profess you're undying love to me... not unless you are walking away from me." he could her her choking back the tears as she tore through his kitchen. "You don't apologise, unless I poke and insist. You don't want me unless there is some reason. Now I need to find the reason so I can try to put you behind me again." She laid her hands on the counter, braceing herself. Her head was hurting. She wasn't sure if it was all the events of tonight or all the tears she was damning up. Whatever it was, it was causeing a great ache in her head and her chest.
He stood behind her. She didn't hear him move, but she felt him there now. The heat from his body was unmistakable. "Maria," he almost whispered. " I haven't been drinking. Not a drop."
She turned to face him, a tear escaping it's hold and running down her cheek, two feet of space between them. "I still don't believe you." she stared at his chest.
He inclosed the space between them, placing a finger under her chin and lifting her head. Resting his forehead against hers. "Then I'll just have to prove it then, won't I"
~~~~~
She couldn't avoid his eyes any longer... they were right there infront of her. God, she couldn't think when those eyes found hers; her head would feel like it was swimming in thoughts of Michael. "Prove it?" she whispered questionally.
"Yeah," he whispered in response. He laid his hands on her shoulders. "Prove to you that I have not been drinking..."
She still had a hard time gathering her thoughts... his fingers moved slowly on her shoulders, causing goosepimples to rise. He noticed them right away and she knew he was smiling. She couldn't see his mouth from her position against his forehead, but his eyes wrinkled. "Umm... "she began. "How do you propse to prove to me that you haven't?"
He moved his head to the side of hers, sending shivers down her spin as he whispered..."It's relativly simply actually..." He felt her shake under his hand and watched as the hairs behind her ears stood on end. *This seems to be working now... the situation is definately headed in my favor. Now, * he thought to himself * take it slow*
She couldn't stand it. He was so close! Her nose was now nesseled in the crook of his neck, a place her lips were thoroughly familiar with. She inhaled deeply- god she loved the way he smelled. She remembered when they first kissed... there was no particular scent to him. Slightly musty, but clean. However that night he came to her at the Crashdown, it took her a little while to realize what was different abou him. It wasn't until they were drapped across the floor of the cafe and her nose was tucked in the exact spot it was now that she realized the smell. He was wearing aftershave or cologne... mixed with his sweat. It was the sweetest smell to ever cross her nose. Even though her mind was full at the time, she recalled thinking *he must have put it on just for this...just for me*.
He exhaled as he spoke, filling her with warmth, but sending her to shivers at the same time "IF... I had been drinking," he mumbled, dragging his head along her cheek and lookinh into her eyes as he positioned himself an inch away from her face. " Then it would be safe to assume that you would be able to smell it on my breath, right?"
Maria blinked...mezmorized by his eyes. She couldn't think...what had he said??
He pulled in his breath and lightly blew the cold breeze over her face. She closed her eyes and inhaled the proximity of his mouth *God he is so close!* Her hand instinctively traveled up to rest on his bicep and he smiled, figuring he was allowed seeing as her eyes were still closed. Then as quickly as he started, he stopped.
Maria's eyes broke open, shooting questions at him as her eyes darted to each one of his. "No alcohol?" he asked.
"What?" she sheepishly whispered.
A slight grin broke out of his face. "Alcohol? Your accusation that I was drinking? Did you smell anything on my breath?" He knew what she was going to say, even before she parted her lips. *God I love those lips* he mused inside his head. *Focus Michael... you can't force her back... you have to pull her....slowly*
"Well....I'm not entirely sure." She searched her head to find a coherent thought or two. "But then again, if you had vodka I wouldn't be able to smell it anyway." She let her eyes fall downwards, suddenly realizing that her hand was still on his body, his warmth seeping through her palm. She slowly removed it and glanced downwards at her feet... or what she could see of them. There was very little room between their two bodies. She shuddered, realizing even if he body allowed her to move, she was sandwiched in between Michael and the kitchen counter. But he body wasn't obeying her tonight. It abandoned itself to the magnetic pull of his shortly before he started his speech to her earlier.
Michael bit his lip to keep the snicker from escaping, as he watched her eyes make an attempt to avoid him, yet landing once again on some part of his being. *I'm having too much fun here* He was beginning to feel guilty. "That is true... you may not be able to smell it. But if I had drank tonight, you could most definitely still taste it."
Her eyes shot up and met his. Michael's face was without of emotion, but his eyes...they were calling her. She swallowed hard "...Ta...Taste?"
He nodded, laugh lines wrinkling near his eyes. "If you think I am acting on something that I am gonna regret tomorrow," he moved his face in close to hers. She could feel his breath on her lips and chin. "If you think I am 'Under the Influence' try me. I say I haven't... you think I'm lying." He laid his nose against hers. "It's up to you....prove me wrong."