New Bedford
Telephone!
Support the Penal Code!
In Sickness and in Health
The Mighty Ticket Rises at Sundown
Only to feast on Pickled Plums
Lightbulb!
Cassette!
Defeat the Manly Trousers!
To Make Sure They Flourish
Across our Land of Densmore
This is New Bedford....In a Nutshell
Hootie Hoo!
Those who understand binary and those who don't.
-St. Francis of Assisi
-Romans 1:16
�Facts:
1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of ninjas is to flip out and kill people.�
-www.realultimatepower.com
�In England, they�re just called muffins.�
-Sherry Armstrong
�People make so much noise on New Years� Eve to drown out the sound of the grass growing on their graves.�
-Erik Thoennes
�Truly I say to you: before Abraham was, I AM.�
-Jesus Christ
�Just because we�re beautiful doesn�t mean we can�t not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.�
-Derek Zoolander
�It�s a bad idea to put bacon on your face and run around, yelling, �Look at me! I�m Porkboy the breakfast monkey!�
-Jeff Hooker
�I�m pretty sure that there�s more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good-looking, and I�m going to find out what it is.�
-Derek Zoolander
"The Pacific Yew can be cut down and processed to produce a potent chemical, taxol, which offers some promise of curing certain forms of lung, breast and ovarian cancer in patients who would otherwise quickly die. It seems an easy choice -- sacrifice the tree for a human life -- until one learns that three trees must be destroyed for each patient treated"
-Al Gore
�You are my witnesses,� declares the Lord, �and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me. I, even I, am the Lord, and apart from me there is no savior.�
-Isaiah 43:10-11
�I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about [Jesus]: �I�m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don�t accept His claim to be God.� That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic � on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg � or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.
-C.S. Lewis Mere Christianity
�Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.�
-Anonymous
�The modern definition of 'racist' is someone who is winning an argument with a liberal.�
-Peter Brimelow
�Only two things are infinite, theUniverse and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.�
-Albert Einstein
�This has been a difficult process to make up ones minds in these issues. But, in my mind, the most critical issue with the numbers going to be that they he will not be convicted no matter what I will do has been to make sure that we handle this appropriately so that we do not establish bad precedents for future presidents. To me, that is the most important aspect of the process right now is to ensure that we do not set a bar so low that any future president will be liable for impeachment for just about anything.�
-Senator Jim Jeffords on his vote to acquit in President Clinton�s impeachment trial.
�Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.�
-W. H. Auden
�All the men who went out of the city gate agreed with Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male in the city was circumcised.
Three days later, while all of them were still in pain, two of Jacob�s sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah�s brothers, took their swords and attacked the unsuspecting city, killing every male.�
-Genesis 34:24-25
�I pledge allegiance to the can�of the perfect food that is tuna. And to the fishy, for which it cans, one portion�just for me, with olive oil, and crackers, on top.�
-Bucky Katt �Get Fuzzy�
Have mercy upon me, O God,
according to thy lovingkindness:
according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies
blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin.
For I acknowledge my transgressions:
and my sin is ever before me.
Against thee, thee only, have I sinned,
and done this evil in thy sight:
that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest,
and be clear when thou judgest.
Behold, I was shapen in iniquity;
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts:
and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean:
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Make me to hear joy and gladness;
that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
Hide thy face from my sins,
and blot out all mine iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God;
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from thy presence;
and take not thy holy spirit from me.
Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation;
and uphold me with thy free spirit.
Then will I teach transgressors thy ways;
and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
thou God of my salvation:
and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
O Lord, open thou my lips;
and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.
For thou desirest not sacrifice;
else would I give it:
thou delightest not in burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit:
a broken and a contrite heart,
O God, thou wilt not despise.
Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion:
build thou the walls of Jerusalem.
Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness,
with burnt offering and whole burnt offering:
then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.
-Psalm 51
"I'd rather be known for this instead of being smart or something. There's a million people who are smart. There's only 16 of us who were in Cancun together."
-Roxanne, The Real Cancun castmember
�When I feel a desire to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.�
- Robert M. Hutchins
�Show me a good loser and I�ll show you a loser.�
- Leo Durocher
�A noble spirit embiggens us all.�
- Jebediah Springfield
"I'll be immortal or die trying."
- Yossarian, Catch-22
"Only speak if you can improve the silence."
- Anonymous
" Well, I won't lie. Fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood. But I wouldn't trade it for anything�except for some mag wheels. Oh, man. That would be sweet."
-Homer J. Simpson
"Listen, kid, I'm not the kind of dad who, you know, does things, or says stuff, or looks at you. But the love is there."
-Krusty the Klown
�Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but I have always noticed that the passages that bother me most are those I do understand.�
-Mark Twain
�Too many people marry for better or for worse, but not for good.�
-Anonymous
�The strength of a nation is derived from the integrity of its homes.�
-Confucius
�Keep your words soft and sweet. You never know when you�ll have to eat them.�
-Anonymous
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.
- Colossians 3:23
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day � and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.
-2 Timothy 4:7-8
If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.
- Deuteronomy 25:11-12