There they stood, bodies at one with the force, praying the gray spirit, and the tension in the street was so thick you could cut it with a rusty butter knife.
Slim cracked his knuckles menacingly; �You don�t know what you�ve got yourself into, compadre. No one corrects my grammar and lives to tell about it.�
The stranger took a deep breath and replied, �It had to be done. It just is not acceptable to say, �I hold my liquor good.� �Good� is an adjective and should only be used when speaking about a noun. When describing a verb such as �holding liquor,� the adverb �well� would have been correct. I do not know who taught you to speak, but he didn�t do it very well.�
�Yeah, well�you�re pretty ugly!� Slim countered, �and my momma learned me to spoke.�
�Riiiiight�that was a pretty weak ad homonym attack which, if you think about it, makes no sense because, how can something be pretty and ugly at the same time? And I�m not even going to touch your last sentence.�
�You think you�re so smart, don�t you? Correcting my bowels and constipants like that. Well, I got a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite, you ain�t!�
�Hahahaha�Oh geez! Bowels and constipants? What�s wrong, not eating enough fiber? Would a dose of x-lax do it for you? I think you mean vowels and consonants. Haha!�
Slim reached for his gun and the onlooking townspeople drew a collective breath. �You�ve got a lot of nerve coming here. We�re gonna settle this now.�
The stranger wiggled his fingers anxiously. �Oh yeah. We are.�
�Ready to die?�
�You first.�
�You gonna kill me?�
�I�m gonna write a threnody for your funeral, jerk.�
�Oh really?�
�No, o�reilly.�
�You want to teach me to speak good?�
�Yeah.�
�Will you?� Slim�s thumb cocked the hammer of his revolver. The world stood still, waiting for the stranger�s reply.
�Yeah.�
�Awesome. When are you available?�
�Tuesdays and Thursdays between 2 and 4:30 are good for me.�
Slim put his arm around the stranger and, as they walked off into the sunset, life returned to normal.