The commotion downstairs was too much for me to bear, so I ran away. Ran away to my room, my haven, my world, where I knew all was right. I now sat in front of the mirror, staring at myself, looking at my eyes and reaching deep within.

Lying on the bed behind me was that white dress that every mother dreams her daughter would wear on some bright sunshine day. It looked more like a large, white meringue puff decorated with lots of pearls and sequins. Next to it was a pair of white satin shoes and the pearl encrusted veil that would hide my face when I walk down the aisle. I sighed deeply.

I heard footsteps outside my door. I picked up the large face brush and pretended to be concentrating on my make-up. Two seconds later, the knock.

�Come in,� I called out.

The door opens and behind it stands my mother. She was glowing and beautiful. Her dress was a light mauve that framed her trim figure. Even after giving birth to four children, she looked like she never had children to begin with. She smiled at me and had that wistful look on her face that said My baby is all grown up. Just look at the wonderful job I did.

She came in and began to fuss and hover over me. �The photographer will be here in an hour. Why aren�t you dressed yet?� Ever since Sam and I announced our engagement over a year ago, mom has done nothing but hover over me. Everything had to be perfect. The perfect engagement party, the ideal first soon-to-be-in-laws dinner, the elegant bridal shower, and the faultless rehearsal. It was never ending. Her current attention was on a stray curl, which must be in the wrong spot on my head. She fiddled with it till it was just right.

I shrugged impatiently and frowned at her reflection in the mirror. �Mom, stop! I�ll get dressed when I�m ready. I just needed some time alone. Please!�

I instantly regretted the tone of my voice when I see the shocked look that comes over her face. I felt myself redden. I looked away from her, unable to meet her eyes. I wasn�t going to apologize again for telling her my true feelings.

�Well, dear,� my mother said in her most condescending voice, �I know this is your wedding day and nervousness is just getting to you. Now hurry up and get dressed, we don�t want to be late for your big moment, and touch up your make-up, you need more color on your cheeks.� And with that she walked out of the room with that flair of hers. She loved to make an entrance but her exits were even more dramatic.

I wanted to call out to her and tell her to come back so that I could scream at her properly and let her know that this was more her day than mine. I wanted to tell her that it wasn�t my fault that she and dad had to elope because one night of passion turned into a nine-month feature presentation. I didn�t ask to be the only female born into this family. I didn�t ask for her to take over in planning my wedding. Instead, I picked up Mr. Jingles, my favorite teddy bear and threw him to the opposite side of the room. I would scream but that would only bring her up here and I really wanted to be alone.

I felt the tears start to form behind my eyes and I blinked rapidly to keep them from surfacing. I walked over to Mr. Jingles and picked him up from the floor.

�I�m sorry, lovable bear. But you understand don�t you?� He just stared back at me with his plastic brown eyes, not giving me any indications as to what was the meaning behind them. I hugged him tightly and closed my eyes praying for the day to end.

A car horn honking caught my attention. I slowly walked to the window and pushed the white curtains aside just enough to get a glimpse of what was going on outside. My knees buckled from underneath me and I let out a cry of surprise when I saw him standing underneath my window.

His hair was golden brown underneath the sun. I�ve always loved his hair, soft and full. His coffee brown eyes, deep and meaningful, constantly read into my soul, knowing everything I was feeling before I uttered a word. His tall, athletic figure always looked good in whatever he wore and today was no exception. The dark blue suit fitted his frame perfectly making him look more commanding than awkward like some other men I knew.

Kneeling in front of the window, I pushed it open and stared down at the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. He looked up at me and gave me one of his boyish grins.

�Hello, beautiful. I hear there is a wedding going on today. But I�m confused, I didn�t know you and I were to be married.�

I laughed down at John. �Well, you heard right, there is a wedding today but someone beat you to it. I can�t wait forever you know,� I say to him teasingly.

John placed both his hands over his heart and staggered a bit, mocking a look of hurt on his face. �I�ve waited my whole life for you and this is how you treat me?� He hung his head in defeat and began to walk away.

�John Tarner! Come back here.� I laughed. �What are you doing here anyway?�

He stopped walking and in a dazzling flair, quickly turned around and whipped out a red rose. �Why I am here to see the blushing bride and wish her all the happiness in the world.� He threw the rose up at me and I snatched it out of the air.

I inhaled its fresh scent and smiled softly at him. �You always were a romantic and thank you. But seriously, why are you here? I really never expected to see you again.� I leaned against the windowsill and gazed down at him.

John shrugged and looked down at the ground. �I really don�t know. I heard from Jessica last year and she told me that you were getting married. I�ve been meaning to call and congratulate you but, you know, things just got in the way and then I didn�t think you would want to hear from me.�

My heart began to race. John and I started to date our junior year in high school and continued through to the end of our sophomore year in college. It was difficult keeping a relationship stable when we were miles away. Everyone says that you find your true self in college and that was what happened to us. Our ideas, goals and interests changed. When we were able to talk or get together for weekends, all we did was fight. Then one day, we just ended it. We parted amicably enough, even became best friends the rest of our college years, but for me, it was the worst moment of my life. Now as he stood there all I could think about was our time together.

�You know I always want to hear from you. You�re my best friend. How could I not want to hear from my best friend?� I still had Mr. Jingles in my arm and I held him tighter to my chest.

His head turned up at me. �Best friend? Right, best friend. After I declined the invitation and you never called to ask why, I just thought that maybe you were too mad to talk let alone scream and yell at me. I just needed to see you one more time before you walk down the aisle. You know, kind of like a before and after shot.�

I blinked back the tears and took a deep breath before speaking. �Yes, I was surprised and hurt when I received your response. Why did you decline it?�

John looked down at the ground again and began to kick at a rock with his foot. �I guess I was surprised myself when I got it. It was awkward, you know? I just always thought�.Anyway, I really meant it when I said I want to wish you good luck and congratulations. He�s a lucky guy to have you in his life.�

The words were right enough but there was another message underneath it all. I shook my head at him. �You were a bad liar when we dated and you�re a bad liar now, John. You don�t just show up on my wedding day after declining my invitation to wish me happiness. There are telephones you know, hey, even cards that you can send for such an occasion. What is really on your mind?� I felt my annoyance begin to surface.

John gaped at me with surprise. His facial expression went through a myriad of changes ranging from confusion to hurt to embarrassment to anger. �Why do you think I�m here Lynn? Why do you think I am here standing in a suit under the hot sun under your window on your wedding day?�

I felt my own anger begin to rise �I don�t know! You wanted to change your answer from no to yes and get a free meal? Oh wait, you�re doing laundry today and that suit was the only clean thing you had?� My voice started to crack. Trying to swallow the lump that was beginning to form at the back of my throat was an impossible task.

�Do you remember our promises to each other? Do you remember what we said to each other about love, always and forever?� John asked me.

He remembers! I looked down at him with surprise then quickly recovered. �Those promises are old, said by two young and foolish people. We didn�t know any better. What did we know of love and forever? And why do you bring them up now? They mean nothing to me and they shouldn�t mean anything to you. Those promises died five years ago.�

He shook his head vehemently. �You say that cause that�s what you want to believe. Five years ago, I was ready to fight for you. I did not want to let you go. Do you hear me? I didn�t want to let you go. But we had to do it, we needed to grow up and find out where our lives would take us.�

�Dammit, John! Don�t do this, not now. I am getting married in less than two hours to a man I love with all my heart. If this is how you felt, why did you wait so long?� I cried. �Why didn�t you come for me sooner?� The tears finally fell.

�I couldn�t bear the fact that you may actually be in love with someone else. It tore me apart when I got that invitation. It should be us, you and me. It can still be us. I was stupid for not telling you sooner. I was stupid to let us grow apart the way we did. But I�m here now.� He got down on one knee and continued to look up at me. �Lynn, I�m asking you now. Will you have me, stupidity and all? I love you. I�ve always loved you.�

My head fell into my hands and I let the tears fall, not caring about my make-up, not caring that mom can walk in at any minute and see the mess I�m making. My mind began to play images, like a slide projector, going over my time with John: our first date, our first kiss, graduation, college, our goodbye then the pain. Then the images turned to Sam, this wonderful man who would give me anything I ask for, our plans, our future, our goals.

The tears subsided. I lifted my head and looked down at John one last time.

�I have to go and get dressed.�

Mrs. Beeson knocked on her daughter�s door. �Lynn? Lynn, the photographer will be here in half an hour. Are you dressed yet?� She opened the door before her daughter could call out. On the bed, the dress still laid along with the shoes and veil. A quick glance around the room confirms that her daughter was not there.

�Lynn?�

She stepped back out into the hallway and peered into the other rooms for any sign of her daughter. She retraced her steps back to Lynn�s room. The open window caught her eye. The sheer white curtains were hanging on the outside, swaying slightly with the wind.

�Lynn?�

She walked over to the window and pulled the curtains in. Sticking the upper part of her body out of the window, she looked around the front lawn and scanned the street, but didn�t see her daughter anywhere.

�Lynn?�

Her hand brushed softly against something. She looked down.

Lying on the windowsill was a single red rose. Next to it, her daughter�s engagement ring.