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8,14Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? 1,15 A:   Gifted!
8,14Q: How do blonde braincells die? 1,15 A:   Alone.
8,14Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? 1,15 A:   Pregnant.
8,14Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? 1,15 A:   Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
8,14Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? 1,15 A:   Artificial intelligence.
8,14Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders? 1,15 A:   Because they can't even keep two calves together!
8,14Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? 1,15 A:   To catch everything that goes over their heads.
8,14Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? 1,15 A:   There's white-out on the screen.
8,14Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello? 1,15 A:   They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
8,14Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head? 1,15 A:   All you can eat, under a buck.
8,14Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas? 1,15A1:   They can't find the zipper. A2:     They cant find the pull tab.
8,14Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? 1,15 A:   Her ankles.
8,14Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick? 1,15 A:   Because red means stop.
8,14Q: What's the mating call of the blonde? 1,15 A:   "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
8,14Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex? 1,15 A:   Kick open the car door.
8,14Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading hernametag) ? 1,15 A:   "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"
8,14Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth? 1,15 A:   Gee, Are you sure it's mine?
8,14Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smartblonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up? 1,15 A:  The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus,the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
8,14Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you? 1,15 A:   Pull the pin and throw it back. 
8,14Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel? 1,15 A:   Because her boyfriend was also blond!
8,14Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits theground first? 1,15 A:   The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
8,14Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde? 1,15 A:   Butter is difficult to spread.
8,14Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common? 1,15 A:   They both get easier to pick-up with age.
8,14Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? 1,15 A:   They're both empty from the neck up.
8,14Q: How do you drown a blonde? 1,15 A1:  Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. A2:  Don't tell her to swallow. A3:  Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
8,14Q: Why do blondes have square boobs? 1,15 A:   Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
8,14Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies? 1,15 A1:  10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties. A2:  Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit. A3: Two...one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.
8,14Q: What's the blonde's cheer? 1,15 A:   " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
8,14Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? 1,15 A:   Change.
8,14Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month? 1,15 A:   Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
8,14Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? 1,15 A:   Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
8,14Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? 1,15 A:   "Nice tits!"
8,14Q: How does a blonde high-5? 1,15 A:   She smacks herself in the forehead.
8,14Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours? 1,15 A:  Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
8,14Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by "the fuzz"? 1,15 A:   "No. But I've been swung around by the tits."
8,14Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? 1,15 A:   "Oh look!  Donut seeds!"
8,14Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words? 1,15 A:   Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
8,14Q: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"? 1,15 A:   She liked to be filled with cream.
8,14Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? 1,15 A:   You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
8,14Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? 1,15 A:   Last year's hide and seek champ.
8,14Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster? 1,15 A:   In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo...
8,14Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? 1,15 A:   The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
8,14Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on? 1,15 A:   It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
8,14Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? 1,16 A:   A blonde going through a flashing red light.
8,14Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? 1,15 A:   They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
8,14Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? 1,15 A:   So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
8,14Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? 1,15 A:   Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
8,14Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde? 1,15 A:   Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
8,14A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
8,14A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park.  The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie."  The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
8,14A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop:      Do you know where you were going? Blonde:   No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.
8,14What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins? 1,15 He wanted to know who the other man was...
8,14This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub whenthe blonde said to her boyfriend,1,15 "Is it true that if you pull you finger out, I'll sink?"
8,14Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks."  The other blonde looks and says "Those arn't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks."  "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguig, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.
8,14Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.1,15 Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!
8,14Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.  The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"  To this the other blonde replied "I know it, and if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown her."
8,14Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? 1,15 A:  Wave to her. 
8,14Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant? 1,15 A:   Her feet!
8,14Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and aflat forehead? 1,15 A:   Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
8,14Q: What does a blonde owl say? 1,15 A:   What, what?
8,14Q  Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? 1,15 A:   From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
8,14Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? 1,15 A:   So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
8,14Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.1,15 A:   "Six, please.  I could never eat twelve pieces."
8,14Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID? 1,15 A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
8,14Q: WHY DON'T BLONDES  BREASTFEED THEIR BABIES? 1,15 A: It hurts too much when they boil their nipples.