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1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 By the end of the party, he's got every damn kid doing the "pull my finger" trick.
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 Clown car must be started with breathalizer device.
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 Keeps screaming, "My name's not BO-zo, it's bo-ZO!"
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 References to Kierkegaard and Nietzsche are lost on most 5-year olds.
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 Props for his "disappearing" trick: a moving van and your wide-screen TV.
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 Scares the holy hell outta the kids during the "Severed Limb" trick.
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 Tells the kids he killed Barney in a blood match in Newark.
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 Didn't bring any balloons, but manages to twist your dachshund into other animal shapes.
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 Prefaces each trick with, "here's a little number I learned in the joint."
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 Not exactly the Peewee Herman impression you were expecting.
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 Wears a T-Shirt that says, "Drug-free since March!"
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 More interested in squirting seltzer into his Scotch than into his pants.
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 Those huge ears look too darn life-like, and the entire act consists of showing charts and complaining about the deficit.
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 A sad clown is one thing -- a clown who spends the entire party with a gun to his temple is another thing entirely.
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 Only balloon animals he can make are a snake and a "snake on acid."
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 Business cards include the phrase "From the Mind of Stephen King..."
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 Price list includes "lap dance" and "around the world."
1,7How To Know You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party reason -->7,15 All the balloon animals are ribbed and lubricated.
