Summary: The crew is behaving strangely as the fallout from Restid Three continues. Voyager makes it home.

 

Warning: Lots and lots of sex, female on female, and my usual infatuation with the f-word and other expletives.  There is violence in this story and references to sexual and physical abuse.  There is a phallic accessory in this story.

 

Disclaimer:  All things Trek are the property of Paramount, and no infringement on their rights is intended.  I make up a few characters and take lots of liberties with others, but only for fun, not profit.  I’m no Ferengi—in fact, I have tiny, little ears and pretty decent teeth, and absolutely no business acumen, whatsoever.

 

Thanks:  To Captain Starbuck, as always, for beta-reading for me, and for putting up with me while I write for days and weeks at a time.  She now fondly (or facetiously, I’m not sure which) refers to this series as “Soap Trek”.  In her defense, I’m not sure which is worse—living with a peri-menopausal woman with raging PMS, or living with a writer.  Unfortunately for the Captain, I’m both.

 

Home

By Ensign Mika

 

 

(Part 1)

 

Captain Kathryn Janeway of the starship Voyager sat in her ready room, elbows propped upon her desk, fingers steepled together, appraising her oldest daughter, Naomi Wildman.  Janeway, charged with the responsibility for a ship lost in Delta Quadrant for the past twelve years, gave the impression of a tightly coiled spring, her body language efficient and terse.  Her shoulder-length auburn hair gave her face a much softer appearance than the glare in her blue-gray eyes. 

 

Naomi had been off active duty for several weeks, and the Captain felt the absence had extended beyond anything she could justify.

 

“I can’t keep you on indefinite leave,” she explained to her daughter.  “You have to decide what you want to do.  You can go to school full-time, take pre-Academy studies and ramp up for Academy coursework.  Or you can return to your duty shifts in Engineering.”

 

Naomi considered.  “I could do both, don’t you think?  I mean, my duty shifts in Engineering were only five hours,” she said reasonably, keeping her tone mild.  A human-Ktarian hybrid born aboard Voyager, Naomi had contracted an unusual illness that had caused her maturation to accelerate with life-threatening repercussions.  Now in full remission, she had stopped aging in her early twenties, had regained her healthy appearance, and sat before her adoptive mother, at ease in her body, her strawberry blonde hair curled to perfection and streaming down her back.

 

“You’re an emancipated adult,” Kathryn reminded her, trying to keep the edge from her voice.  “That means like any other member of this crew, your duty shifts are eight hours.  You may have the liberty of adulthood, but with it comes the responsibility,” she said coldly.

 

“Of course,” Naomi acquiesced immediately.  She and her lover, Lieutenant Commander Kieran Thompson, Voyager’s Counselor, had actually filed a lawsuit against the Captain and her spouse, Seven of Nine, formerly of the Borg collective, to gain Naomi’s legal emancipation.  It was still a sore spot with Kathryn, and Naomi knew she could hardly expect the leniency the Captain had always shown her.  In fact, she didn’t want special treatment.  She and Kieran had to prove to the crew that they were a legitimate partnership.

 

“So, what’s it going to be?  School or duty?” the Captain demanded, tapping her fingertips together impatiently.

 

“I have to decide right this second?” Naomi was startled.

 

“I’ll give you forty-eight hours,” Kathryn allowed. 

 

Naomi considered.  “What would you do, Mom?” she addressed her on a familiar level, hoping to bring the conversation into more of a personal arena.

 

“That depends on what you want for your future,” the Captain persona was firmly in place, as was the determined set of her jaw.  “If you want to be an Engineer, go back to work.  If you want to explore other career options, go to school.  Unless you’ve got other concerns?”

 

Naomi smirked.  Her department head in Engineering, Chief Engineer B'Elanna Torres, was Kieran Thompson’s ex-wife.  The Chief Engineer, a Klingon-human hybrid, had been one of Naomi’s closest friends, until Kieran and Naomi got involved.  Since their relationship began, however, B'Elanna had not said anything at all to Naomi.  The cold shoulder seemed, to Naomi, to speak loudly of how B'Elanna felt about her.

 

“Of course I have other concerns.  I’m worried about dealing with B'Elanna,” she pointed out the obvious, her hazel eyes flashing with a hint of impatience.

 

“I warned you and Kieran there would be repercussions to your relationship,” Kathryn’s tone was definitely one of ‘I told you so’.   “You can’t expect me to mediate that situation, or advise you on it.  B'Elanna is a professional, and will behave as one, if you return to her division and her command.   As for your personal relationship with her, you know I don’t get involved in my crew’s personal lives, if I can avoid it,” she said curtly.

 

Naomi resisted the urge to sigh.  Kathryn was deeply angry over the lawsuit, and she would give no ground on any issue that arose from Naomi’s relationship with Kieran.  Clearly, the lovers were on their own, and the Captain had no intention of going out of her way to guide or assist them.

 

“Well,” Naomi fixed her with a meaningful look, “I’m sure your objectivity serves you well, Captain.  It no doubt allows you to run the ship at peak efficiency, and of course, the ship always comes first with you,” it sounded like an accusation.

 

Kathryn’s eyebrows shot skyward.  “You’re damned right it does.  That’s a captain’s duty.  You’d better get used to it, because Kieran will be a captain, someday, and you’re going to find out that no matter what, her ship will be her top priority—not you, not your future children, not your relationship,” she emphasized with her hands, smacking them down on the desktop to punctuate her point.

 

“I don’t think her command posture will be nearly as extreme as that,” Naomi argued.  “I think she sees life as a more balanced proposition between duty and family than you ever have, to her credit.  If she were as single-minded as you about it, I wouldn’t venture to have a family with her,” she contended.

 

“Young lady,” Kathryn ground her back teeth, “you are very close to insubordination.  I am your Captain.  As you so recently pointed out to me, I am not your mother.  She died, and I am only a half-assed substitute.  If you want career advice from your Captain, you’ve already gotten it.  If you want it from your mother,” she almost hissed the words, “talk to Seven of Nine.”

 

“I’ll have my decision for you within forty-eight hours,” Naomi agreed, no longer pleasant and smiling.  “Am I dismissed, Sir?” she knew her mother hated to be called Sir, even more than Ma’am.

 

Kathryn glared at her.  “You certainly are.”

 

Naomi stewed inwardly over the choice before her as she left the ready room.  Why not just say 'I told you so’, Mom? Don't miss the opportunity to gloat, when you could actually try to be a good parent, instead.

 

Naomi scowled with disgust.  Kathryn’s behavior was so erratic, where Naomi and Kieran were concerned.  It was as if she would find it within herself to forgive them for running away to be together, maybe even begin to accept their relationship, and then suddenly, she would be angry all over again, as if she’d made no progress and needed to be convinced once more.  Kathryn had seemed accepting, or at least, resigned to the situation, when she helped get deck three redesigned to create quarters for Kieran and Naomi.  Yet today, when Naomi needed motherly advice, Kathryn threw Naomi’s criticism of her parenting back in Naomi’s face.  Naomi wondered if Kieran hadn’t been right, when she warned Naomi the damage to her relationship with her mother would be irreparable.

 

As for her career, Naomi had misgivings about returning to Engineering at all, let alone full-time.  But she had other concerns about full-time schooling.

 

On the one hand, if she returned to full-time duty in Engineering, she would have to interact with B'Elanna on a minute-to-minute basis, and Naomi didn’t think she could stand to do so if B'Elanna no longer considered Naomi a friend.  On the other hand, full-time school would be almost as consuming as Kieran's command training, and that would be a huge intrusion on the fledgling relationship. 

 

Icheb, the crewmember closest to Naomi’s age, was already taking the pre-Academy courses, and had discontinued his shifts in Astrometrics. At least if she had to be a full-time student, she would have a study partner.  However, Icheb had historically been romantically interested in Naomi, and their interaction wasn’t always comfortable, as a result.  A former Borg drone himself, the young man had all the personality constraints that were part and parcel of being liberated from the Collective, just as Seven of Nine had when she was first taken from the Borg.

 

Naomi decided she couldn’t really choose until she knew where she stood with B'Elanna. She would only return to Engineering if B'Elanna were really ready to deal with seeing Naomi every day.  She resolved to have a talk with the Chief Engineer, and hoped it would be at least as fruitful as Kieran’s recent progress with the Klingon. 

 

Kieran had been able to negotiate an amicable divorce with B'Elanna, and they had worked out an equitable solution to their child custody issues over their daughter, Katie.  Their personal relationship remained cordial, though at times, predictably, it was strained.  Naomi figured if Kieran could come to a truce with B'Elanna, after all the things they had been through, surely, Naomi and B'Elanna could find a way to be friends again. 

 

Not that B'Elanna had ever said a word against Naomi, at least not to her face.  But Klingons, even a human-Klingon hybrid like B'Elanna, treated matrimonial ties like ownership rights, and the fact that Naomi’s relationship with Kieran had effectively obliterated any chance that Kieran and B'Elanna would ever reconcile might be seen as a violation of B'Elanna’s claim on Kieran.  Naomi wasn’t sure how seriously B'Elanna took the Klingon customs.  She did know that until very recently, B'Elanna had still worn Kieran’s wedding ring, despite the fact that Kieran had broken ties with B'Elanna almost two years before.

 

Naomi checked the chronometer.  Alpha shift would be ending shortly, and she could just make it to Engineering to try to catch B'Elanna before she left.  She quickened her step, nervousness roiling in her stomach. 

 

B'Elanna Torres was putting away her data PADDs, tidying up her office, when the Ktarian entered Engineering.  She stuck her strawberry blonde head in the Klingon’s office, smiling faintly.

 

“Wow, I haven't seen it this clean in here since way before we laid over at Restid Three,” Naomi said playfully.

 

B'Elanna glanced up. “I haven't seen you in almost as long,” she said sarcastically.  “Is your transfer out of Engineering going to be permanent?”

 

Naomi stepped inside.  “I guess that depends on you,” she shrugged. “Can we talk about it?”

 

“I’m supposed to meet Noah at Sandrine’s in an hour.  Otherwise, if you want to talk, then let’s talk,” B'Elanna agreed, not smiling.  “We can walk to the holodeck—in fact, I can get a head start on drinks, before Noah shows up.  Will that work?”

 

Naomi nodded.  “That’s fine,” she waited for B'Elanna to close her desk drawers and follow.  “I want to know how you would feel about my coming back to work,” she asked as they exited the Engineering section and meandered down the corridor.

 

“I can always use competent help.  You’re as good an Engineer as we have on this ship,” she advised, face impassive, her near-black eyes hiding her emotions.

 

“B'Elanna, you know what I mean,” Naomi insisted.  “I don’t want things to be uncomfortable between us, personally.”

 

B'Elanna snorted indignantly.  “Did you give that any thought before you got sexually involved with my wife?” she asked, her face clouding over darkly.

 

Naomi took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.  “Of course I did,” she confirmed.  “I thought about how I would feel in your position, and I worried about how you’d take it.  But the truth is, for both Kieran and I, ultimately we had to do what was right for us, even knowing how badly others would take our relationship,” she admitted.  “It doesn’t mean I don’t care how you feel about it.  But I couldn’t choose to not love her, just because it upsets you that I do,” she sighed.  “I just need to know if you can deal with me, if I come back to work.”

 

B'Elanna considered, her emotions conflicting and contradictory, her gait indicative of her agitation.  “Look, Naomi, I appreciate that you want us to get along, but I’m sorry, it’s a little weird for me, being around you, now that I know you and Kieran are together,” she confessed, pursing her lips.  She sighed.  “But you're also a damned good Engineer, and I hate to lose your contributions to my department,” she said thoughtfully. 

 

Naomi took her arm briefly.  “You taught me everything I know,” she admitted.  “As for my relationship with Kieran, I never wanted any distance between you and I, and I certainly never meant for any of this to hurt you.  But I understand if you can’t accept what’s happened.”

 

They entered Sandrine’s, a simulated bar that frequently ran on one of two holodecks on Voyager, where the crew could drink, play pool, or have dinner.  B'Elanna sat down on a barstool, calling out to the bar’s proprietor “Hey Sandrine.  I'll have the usual.  What are you having?” she turned to the younger woman.

 

“Beer, Sandrine, thanks,” Naomi supplied.

 

B'Elanna regarded her mildly.  “I guess since you sued your mothers, you can legally drink now?”

 

Naomi nodded, accepting the bottle from the hostess.

 

B'Elanna sipped her beer, thinking hard.  “It’s not that I can’t accept your relationship with Kieran,” she ventured.  “It’s more that I can’t help feeling like you chose her over me—not in any romantic sense, but like you chose a romantic relationship with her over our family and friendship ties, because surely, you knew there was a good chance you couldn’t have both,” she advised, her tone clearly wounded.  “And I’m hurt that you knew how I felt about Kieran, you knew I wanted to work it out with her, but you pursued her anyway.”  The admission was not a comfortable one, but there it was.

 

“I made sure before Kieran ever knew how I felt that there was no chance you two were going to reconcile.  I swear it,” Naomi replied.  “On Qian, I asked Kieran why she was screwing up her life by not getting back with you. I tried to tell her how you felt about her, that you didn't want the divorce, but she was clear about her position.  She told me she didn’t feel that way about you anymore.  I want you to understand that I never approached her, as long as I thought there was a chance you two might work things out,” she defended herself. 

 

B'Elanna nodded, grimacing.  “She never wavered with me, either.  From the time she left, she never once gave me any indication she might come back,” she admitted.    “So you tried to talk her into giving us a shot?”

 

“I didn't try to persuade her, really.  But I told her how you felt, and I asked her point-blank if she would reconcile with you if you wanted to, and she said no.  I believed her, and I stopped trying to hide my feelings for her, after that,” Naomi recalled.  “But Lanna, that was months and months after you and Kieran split up.  It’s not like I was waiting to pursue her the second she moved out of your quarters,” she explained.

 

B'Elanna sighed.  “I know that, Na.  I know you aren’t like that, and I know you’ve had a crush on Kieran since the night you met her.  And she would be almost impossible to walk away from,” she nodded understanding, taking a deep draught on her drink.   She looked the Ktarian up and down.  “And I can certainly understand why she wouldn’t be able to turn you down,” she added, thinking how attractive the young Ktarian was.  “It’s just so confusing.  I look at you, and you don’t look like the kid who I taught to service plasma injectors.  You look like this amazing, gorgeous woman.  But in my head, you’re still the little girl who brought me flowers to keep me from poking you with a pain stick, when you thought you’d sullied my honor,” she finally smiled.  “You’re the kid who cussed out half the ship because they wanted to leave Kieran in a spatial rift.  It’s a bizarre contradiction in my head.  I guess that little girl is gone, but maybe I don’t want her to be.  And in her place, there’s this beautiful young woman who’s sleeping with my ex-wife.”

 

Naomi blushed at the backhanded compliment.  “Lanna, that little girl is still here—she’s in here,” she tapped her chest.  “The wrapping paper has changed a little—”

 

B'Elanna let out a sharp bark of derision  “A little?”

 

“Okay, the wrapping paper has changed a lot,” Naomi allowed, blushing and smiling.  “But the person is the same in a lot of ways.  I still love you.  I still look up to you.  And I don’t want to lose you just because I love Kieran.  If you can’t deal with me, though, I need to know that, because I don’t want to put myself through the hurt every day of seeing you hate me.”

 

B'Elanna’s face softened considerably.  “I could never hate you, Na,” she said reproachfully.  “I do feel betrayed, on some levels, because I trusted you with a lot of personal information, and you know as well as anyone how the breakup hurt me,” she sighed wisftully, slugging back a good bit of her drink.  “But let’s face facts.  I burned that bridge with Kieran all by myself.  I did horrible things that she can’t forget or forgive and I destroyed her trust in me.  I’m sure she’s told you what a P’taQ I was,” she scowled, retiring into her beer.

 

“Actually,” Naomi toyed with her own drink, “Kieran specifically asked me not to think any less of you based on the things that happened, because anything she confided in me was from her perspective only, and her perspective was not fair to you.”

 

B'Elanna’s expression registered surprise, and new respect for her ex-wife.  “She said that?”

 

“She was very insistent.  She wanted to protect my image of you, I’m sure,” Naomi advised.

 

B'Elanna averted her eyes.  “And did she?”

 

“She told me her version of what happened, if that’s what you mean.  I know about the incident with Tom, and I know about Mariah Henley and Tristan Garrett.  I also know Kieran feels she is equally to blame for letting command school take priority over your marriage.  But what happened with the two of you is not my business, and it is never my place to judge.  I hate it that you two hurt each other, but that’s as far as it goes.  I don’t think less of you, B'Elanna.  I am sorry for the mistakes you made, and I wish as much as you do you could take them back, but what’s done is done,” she decided.  “The bottom line is that Kieran loves you, and she always will.  And I do, too.  I guess the bigger question becomes, do you love us enough to work through whatever resentment you have over the fact that she and I are lovers, now?”

 

B'Elanna finished her beer and signaled for another.  “I know it still hurts when I see her, and I haven’t stopped missing her.  I also admit there were certain insights she had into my personality that I was in denial about, and she was right that I would not have been able to be faithful to her over the long term.  Given that, I shouldn’t begrudge her your love.  You have the capacity to make her happy, and I never could have.  Knowing that, though, and feeling at peace in my heart, those are two different things.  I guess the best I can offer is that I’ll try to be okay about your relationship, and I’ll keep talking to you when things get difficult.  If that’s not enough, then don’t resume your duties in my department,” she concluded, studying her drink.

 

“I think your openness about it is more than I probably deserve,” Naomi said softly, setting her empty bottle aside.  “I think I’ll come back to work, then.  B'Elanna,” she touched the older woman’s hand, “please believe me when I tell you the last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you.  But what I feel for her—I couldn’t walk away from that for anyone.  Obviously,” she laughed.  “Look at what I did to my mothers, just to be with Kieran.”

 

B'Elanna swallowed hard.  “Wildwoman,” she said fondly, “I’m not blind.  I see the energy between you and her.  I know she feels it every bit as strongly for you.  She never looked at me the way she looks at you.  So in that respect, I know she’s in the best relationship, for her happiness.”

 

“Thanks,” Naomi smiled warmly at her friend.  “Speaking of relationships, a very dashing Ensign just walked in, and he’s heading right for you,” she giggled.  “Hey, NoGame,” she stood to kiss Noah’s cheek, letting the tall, dark-skinned man gather her to him.

 

“Na,” he grinned, enfolding her in his arms.  “Honey, you look terrific,” he complimented her.

 

“Thanks.  Listen, I’ll leave you two alone.  Thanks for your time, B'Elanna.  I’ll see you in a couple of days, back at work, I’m sure.”

 

“Okay,” B'Elanna nodded.  She leaned over and kissed Naomi’s cheek.  “I’m glad we talked, sweetie.”

_________________

 

She couldn't recall when or how it began, which in and of itself was indication enough that something was wrong.  She had perfect memory, photographic memory, like all Borg, and yet there were gaps, now, inconsistencies, and other anomalies that seemed to have no pattern or logical cause.  The Doctor was aware of the physical symptoms, the sluggish response of her nanoprobes, the sudden failings of memory.  But this was different.  Whether it was a genuine emotion or another anomaly, she could not say, but it had all the trappings of an obsession, and she was nearly crazy with frustration over it. Only she couldn't tell anyone about it, because it was so morally confounding, no one would understand.  Not even the Doctor. 

 

She no longer had the excuse that she was relying on Kieran Thompson for assistance with Naomi.  She could no longer justify the magnetic attraction to the Counselor as a family tie, especially when her strongest impression of Kieran was the expression on her angular face when Seven opened the door of the guest quarters on Qian, to find Kieran waiting there, wearing an unmistakable look of admiration and longing.

 

Seven could not shake the memory of Kieran standing in the hallway, looking the Borg up and down, nearly speechless for that brief moment.

 

Seven you've outdone yourself, she had said with a tone of reverence, brown eyes shining and full of the vision of Seven in her formal attire.

 

Kieran had looked as if she were holding an Omega molecule in the palm of her hand, as if she were witnessing perfection, letting it rest against her skin, allowing it to caress her awareness. And Seven had been the reason for the awe and wonder that was so evident in her demeanor. 

 

Ever since that night, Seven had been distracted and preoccupied by thoughts of the Counselor.  For all the failings of her memory, she could not forget Kieran’s face, how it had softened at the sight of her, how her voice had become inexplicably deeper, how her pupils had dilated for an instant. 

 

It was fleeting, but Seven had latched onto that moment and cherished it.  And she frequently recalled it in the solitude of her marriage to Kathryn Janeway.  She had let that instant of mutual attraction become a full-fledged fantasy, despite how ashamed it made her feel to know she was thinking of her daughter's lover with romantic intent.

 

It gave her a chill, even now, remembering.  And she could not forget her own reaction, realizing for the first time in her young life that there was someone besides Kathryn Janeway that captivated her, someone whose body might fit with her own, someone whose affections might cure her loneliness.  And the revelation that followed resonated to her core.  She trusted Kieran Thompson, and she did not trust her wife. 

 

She closed her eyes, grasping the edge of the work console, inundated with the recollection of the two of them, of contemplating each other, wanting each other.  And as if the thought of the Counselor had summoned her, a gentle voice said beside her, “Seven, are you okay?”

 

Warm fingers pressed into her forearm, not recoiling when they encountered Borg technology, a steadying grip on her fragile sense of her self.

 

“Perfectly fine, Counselor,” she replied, her Borg coolness coming to her rescue.  “What brings you to Astrometrics?”

 

Kieran smiled fondly at her friend, still holding her arm, peering into glacier blue eyes and searching them to make certain the former drone was, in fact, fine.  “I had a break in my schedule and I haven't seen nearly enough of you, lately.  Why don't you ever come by our quarters?”

 

Seven discreetly extricated her limb from the Counselor's grasp, needing the physical separation to keep focused on the conversation. “I have been busy at home, and you're busy, and it just never seems appropriate to show up unannounced.  My door is equally accessible, and nothing is stopping you from coming to see me,” she stated in her old Borg speak, a sure sign she was uncomfortable.

 

“You know why I don’t come to your place,” Kieran pointed out, thinking of the continuing tension with Kathryn Janeway.  “I can't help feeling like you're avoiding me,” she held out her hands. “Have I done something to offend you?  Are you struggling over my relationship with Naomi, like Kathryn is?” she asked quietly, concerned.

 

Seven took her hands.  “Of course not.  And I am not avoiding you,” she lied, heart suddenly pounding wildly in her chest. “I am trying to be respectful of your situation with my daughter,” she said truthfully.  In ways you cannot comprehend, Counselor. Seven became overly conscious of Kieran's touch and withdrew her hands abruptly, a guilty expression tingeing her features.

 

“There’s nothing disrespectful about your coming to visit your daughter or your friend,” Kieran insisted.  “Sweetie, it’s not like Naomi and I spend every waking hour making love,” she smiled sincerely at the Borg.

 

Seven’s imagination threatened to take off at a full gallop, but she reined it in forcefully.  “I am trying to make my situation at home—work,” she stated, realizing just how accurate that was.  “If you were having difficulties with Naomi, would you not be concentrating on those concerns?”

 

“I would be, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t be.  Just—don’t forget you have a support system, people who love you.  Is there anything I can help with, your Borgness?”

 

Seven shook her head slowly, lost for the moment in brown eyes.  “Nothing.  But I thank you for your concern.”

 

Kieran studied her a moment longer, noting the hesitation in her body language.  “I know I’m close to the situation with you and Kathryn, but I would do my best to be objective, Seven.  If you can’t talk to me, though, consider seeing Dee,” she suggested.

 

“I will consider it, Counselor,” she agreed, wishing instead she could just tell Kieran everything.

 

And so she went to Dee, the only crewmember who could not break her confidence, to confess her turpitude, to unburden herself and to vent her fears.  Dee tried her best to reassure the former drone that what she was feeling was nothing out of the ordinary, especially given the trials Seven had been through with Kathryn.  Seven was not comforted, nor was she totally forthcoming about the actual depth of the issues she had with her spouse of nearly seven years. 

 

If she had told Dee everything, the holographic counselor most certainly could have put the young woman’s mind at ease, but Seven held back.  She trusted Kieran, but she could not tell the Counselor what plagued her, for her shame.  And she could not tell a hologram how badly her relationship with her wife had deteriorated.  Seven of Nine left the session, sorry she had bothered with such an inefficient use of her time, and she resolved to keep her silence.

 

_________________

 

Ship’s Counselor Kieran Thompson awoke to the faint sensation of Naomi Wildman’s fingertips brushing over her cheeks.  She blinked sleepily, finding herself in the steady, surrounding gaze of her lover, piercing hazel eyes encompassing her with warmth and desire.

 

Kieran smiled, but Naomi’s mood was much too focused for lightheartedness.  She wordlessly drew Kieran into a forceful kiss, exploring the contours of the older woman’s mouth feverishly, her kisses questioning and yearning.  Kieran felt herself respond immediately, returning the passionate embrace with equal desire. 

 

The thick blankets tangled around them as they removed clothing, eager to be touching completely, without confining fabrics and barriers.  Naomi gazed purposefully into Kieran’s eyes, a silent request Kieran understood implicitly, as gentle fingers found exposed flesh and kindled it into a consuming flame.  They joined powerfully, soundlessly, the usual gasping and moaning muffled by their kisses, until breathlessly, Naomi tore her mouth away and cried out with her release.  Kieran kissed her deeply, endlessly, until reciprocal touches brought her to her own climax, and the two women lay together, silent, spent, in solemn communion with one another on some spiritual plane.

 

Naomi rolled into Kieran’s arms, curling around her, clinging as they always did in the aftermath of lovemaking, each cognizant of how sacred the experience was, how revealing.

 

Kieran breathed softly against Naomi’s hair, kissing the crown of her head with all the tenderness her heart could hold.  “How long have you been awake, honey?” she whispered.

 

“Long enough to watch you sleeping until I had to have you,” she replied sincerely.

 

“I love you, Na,” Kieran nuzzled her tresses, grateful to wake up this way.  “You fill my heart, honey,” she said softly.

 

Naomi snuggled into her side, smiling.  “I love you, too.  I hope it’s okay,” she added.

 

“You hope what’s okay?” Kieran squeezed her lover closer.

 

“That sometimes, I just have to have you,” she replied.

 

Kieran rolled over, so that she was above the smaller woman, peering down at her.  She kissed her firmly, lingering over it.  “Sometimes I just have to have you, too.  And you always seem to know when.”

 

They drifted back to sleep, still hours away from the alarm, curled around one another as delicately as two flower petals nestled together.  Kieran held Naomi lightly, though her love was as strongly enveloping as if her arms were fastened tight around Naomi’s waist.

________________

 

Kieran Thompson whistled softly to herself, rounding the corridor outside her office, where she had a patient scheduled at 0900.  She smiled faintly, thinking about Naomi’s early morning seduction, pleased that after months together, the frequency of their intimacy was still almost daily.  She slipped her hands in her pockets, smiling broadly, until she spotted the door to her office.  The door was partly ajar, which meant the office had been broken into.

 

Someone had defaced the door with giant red block letters.

 

PERVERT, it said.

 

Kieran slapped her comm badge.  “Counselor Thompson to Naomi Wildman,” she hailed, her voice edged with fear.

 

“Wildman here.  What’s wrong, honey?” Naomi knew from Kieran’s tone something had happened.  She was standing beside B'Elanna Torres in Engineering, and the two women exchanged concerned looks.

 

“Are you okay, love?” Kieran wanted to know.

 

“Yes.  I’m in Engineering, working.  Why?” Naomi replied.

 

“Just checking,” Kieran breathed a sigh of relief.  “Somebody had a field day vandalizing my office.  I got worried about you.  It’s fine, though.  I’ll get maintenance.  Thompson out.”

 

Kieran shook her head piteously, examining the graffiti.  She hailed maintenance, thinking it would be silly to report the crime to Kathryn or Tuvok.

 

She glanced up at the sound of pounding feet, and B'Elanna and Naomi were heading for her at a dead run.  They skidded to a stop, outrage plastered on their faces.

 

“I’m hailing security,” B'Elanna growled.  “This has gone too far,” she ground her pointed teeth together.

 

“Is that really necessary?” Kieran protested.

 

B'Elanna fixed her with a steely glare.  “Yes, it is.  If you’re not worried about your own safety, be worried about Naomi’s, at least,” she implored.

 

Kieran gazed at her beloved’s frightened expression.  “You’re right.  Report it,” she took Naomi protectively into her arms, hugging her close.  “I want you to be careful, Na.  Promise me.  Report anything suspicious.  Be vigilant.  Okay?”

 

Naomi looked up at her with fearful eyes.  “Okay.”

 

Kieran kissed her forehead.  “Do you think you’d feel better if you stayed at the Moms’ for a few days?”

 

“No,” Naomi came back vehemently.  “I live with you.  I won’t be chased away.”

 

Kieran sighed.  “All right.  But I would feel a lot better if you were with Seven.  She’d kill anyone that looked at you crooked,” she noted.

 

Security arrived, along with maintenance, and Tuvok, the Vulcan chief security officer of Voyager, forced the door open the rest of the way.  Inside, Kieran’s office was in shambles.  The furniture was turned upside down or broken into pieces, there were data PADDs scattered all over the anteroom, and the walls were covered with graffiti proclaiming that Kieran was a CHILD MOLESTER, a QUEER, and various other epithets and threats.

 

Naomi, B'Elanna and Kieran surveyed the damage with horrified expressions of partial disbelief, anger, and fear.

 

The maintenance chief, Michael Carter, shook his head.  “Don’t worry, Commander,” he rested a hand on Kieran’s forearm.  “We’ll have it back good as new by Beta shift, I promise,” he tried to sound reassuring.

 

Tuvok turned on him abruptly.  “This is a crime scene, Mr. Carter.  You cannot clean up until my team is done with the investigation.  Counselor,” he said calmly to Kieran, “I suggest you appropriate a holodeck and simulate an office there, for today.  I will get the Captain to clear it.”

 

Kieran nodded, too shocked to speak.  Naomi took one arm, and B'Elanna the other, communicating silent support.

 

_________________

 

Captain Kathryn Janeway was reviewing shipwide reports, distracted and disturbed by several harassing incidents between the crew and the Ship’s Counselor, Kieran Thompson.  The vandalism of her office was only the latest in a series of incidents, and Janeway was fed up.   The crew seemed to be hell-bent on punishing the Lieutenant Commander for having had the audacity to fall in love with the Captain’s daughter, Naomi Wildman.

 

Unfairly, and inaccurately, many of the crew believed that Naomi was still a child, when in fact, she had grown into an adult at a vastly accelerated rate, with most of the changes concentrated over the last two years.  Kieran had only acted upon her changing feelings for Naomi when it became evident that Naomi was not just a girl, and that Naomi’s feelings for Kieran had become intensely romantic and purposeful.  The crew was having a hard time thinking of Naomi as anything but a child, simply because she had been born on Voyager. 

 

No one seemed to acknowledge that the Federation Courts had declared Naomi a legal adult when Kieran and Naomi had sued the Captain and her spouse for Naomi’s emancipation.  Similarly, it didn’t seem to matter that the Doctor had testified to the courts that Naomi was physiologically in her early twenties, and psychologically in her mid-twenties.  Voyager’s holographic counselor, fashioned on the image of Deanna Troi, the counselor on Enterprise, had verified Naomi’s psychological test scores, and had also testified that Naomi was an adult.  

 

Naomi’s twelfth birthday had come and gone, and although no one celebrated it or mentioned it in an attempt to downplay Naomi’s age, the crew remembered, and tempers were fraying.

 

Commander Tuvok, Chief of Security, reported to the ready room, stoic as always, and calm in his Vulcan resolve.  “You wished to see me, Captain?” he asked, taking a seat across the desk from his commanding officer.

 

“Yes,” Janeway sipped her ever-present cup of coffee.  “I want to talk about this latest hazing,” she reported.  “I think we need to reassess our security protocols as they apply to Kieran and Naomi.”

 

He inclined his head, eyes dark.  “I am beginning to think it would be prudent to have a security guard following Commander Thompson, in addition to the one that is posted outside the door to her quarters whenever Naomi is there.”

 

“I agree.  Kieran is not going to like it, however.  She’s already struggling to keep her practice from failing, and having a security guard right outside her counseling sessions will bring up all sorts of protests,” Kathryn anticipated.  “Frankly, I’m appalled at the intolerance.  Naomi is my daughter, and if anyone should be incensed, it would be me.”

 

Tuvok nodded.  “It is puzzling,” he agreed, “that with all our experience and education, there is so little willingness to embrace what is, obviously, an unusual situation.  I have tried to communicate my support to both Kieran and Naomi.”

 

Janeway suppressed a grin.  “Oh really?  What did you say, Tuvok?”

 

His facial expression remained glacial.  “I merely pointed out to them both that in Vulcan society, there are often enormous differences in age between partners, simply because we live so long.  Once a Vulcan reaches Pon Farr, which can occur quite young, there is no question as to sexual maturity.”

 

Kathryn was amused.  It sounded less like a rousing pep talk filled with moral support than a lecture on Vulcan physiology, but she figured for a Vulcan, it was as emotional a testament as one could hope for.  “Talk to Kieran.  Explain to her the need for this change in security.  Implement the guard as soon as you have the security schedule revamped.”

 

“Aye, Captain.  May I inquire how you are dealing with this relationship?” He stood to go, but lingered for the answer.

 

Kathryn’s blue-gray eyes warmed.  “Thank you for your concern, old friend,” she replied.  “I suppose I’m adjusting.  Like any parent, I don’t want to see Naomi make a mistake she will regret, and I’ve had my difficulties in accepting that Kieran has made this choice.  It’s put a tremendous strain on my relationship with the Counselor,” she admitted.  “I wish it were easier to understand.  Seven seems to welcome the relationship, and says so should I.  But I have misgivings.”

 

Tuvok’s lips curled ever so slightly, the equivalent of a Vulcan belly laugh.  “All parents have misgivings when a child leaves the home.  I think, knowing you as well as I do, you have done remarkably well, Kathryn.  I am certain Counselor Thompson knows how challenging this has been for you, and she will not hold it against you.”

 

Kathryn sighed.  “I hope you’re right.  Keep me posted on the security changes,” she dismissed him.

 

___________________

 

Harry Kim nervously unfolded his napkin, placing it in his lap.  Kieran and Naomi’s quarters were small, but intimate, and they had taken painstaking care in organizing and decorating them.  One wall had a series of glass shelves displaying Kieran’s rock collection.  Naomi had made small placards for each one, with the name of the stone, the planet where Kieran found it, and the star date of the discovery.  Harry especially loved the blue quartz from Grailen.

 

“This is nice,” he sipped his iced tea, his face relaxing slightly as he breathed.  “Thanks for inviting me.  I’ve been meaning to come by and talk to you for a long time.  It just never seemed--appropriate,” he settled on the words. 

 

“You were always welcome,” Kieran assured him.  “I know it must be awkward, because you’re so close to B’Elanna, but truly, Harry, she and I are on very good terms.  There’s no conflict hanging over us, or at least, not that I know of.”

 

Harry smiled, his Asian features warming at the thought of the Chief Engineer.  “She’s seeing Noah a lot, and she seems to have recovered for the most part.  But I also know she realizes she really wrecked things with you because of Tom.  They still don’t speak.”

 

Naomi brought in a sizzling skillet, placing it on the table.  “Lunch is served,” she announced, spooning gingered vegetables into their plates.  “Harry, do you want brown rice with yours?”

 

“Sure,” he held up his plate to get it closer to the serving bowl.  “Smells great.”

 

Kieran smiled warmly at her lover.  “Na is a fabulous cook,” she complimented her.  “I’ve had to increase my workouts by fifteen minutes a day just to keep my weight down.”

 

Harry grinned.  “You were too skinny, before.  Now you look healthy.  You’ve packed on more muscle, too,” he tapped her biceps, “if that’s humanly possible.”  He surveyed the counselor’s physique, wishing he could get his own body into the same disciplined condition.

 

“You’re looking damned good, yourself,” Kieran advised him, deep brown eyes crinkling at the corners as she smiled.  “You had me really worried about you, for awhile there.  You were looking emaciated.”

 

“I’m feeling much, much better.  I think helping B’Elanna through your break up helped me, somehow,” he seemed puzzled by it.  His shock of jet-black hair fell in his eyes and he brushed it back.  “Though I admit, I still have my days when I just can’t get out of bed, like I’ve relapsed.”

 

Naomi seated herself, sprinkling teriyaki on her food.  “I think when you’ve been really miserable for a long time, the best way to break the cycle is to turn your energy outward.  Channel it into better things.  Like your music, Harry,” she added fondly, touching his sleeve.

 

He straightened, smiling broadly.  “I have been playing a lot,” he admitted.  “Na,” he leaned in closer to her, “you’re starting to sound like a counselor.  You may have been living with her too long,” he pretended Kieran couldn’t hear.

 

Naomi couldn’t even tease about it.  “Forever wouldn’t be long enough,” she said sincerely, making Kieran blush. 

 

Kieran nodded agreement.  “I’m glad you still think so, in spite of how tense things have been with the crew lately,” she speared a piece of cauliflower, her face growing dark at the memory of her office. 

 

“The crew hasn’t exactly embraced our newfound happiness,” Naomi laughed, leaning closer to Harry.  “I know they all think Kieran somehow coerced me into this relationship, but the truth is, I pursued her like a Klingon hunting dog after Fek’lhr.  This was my idea, not hers.  She put up a valiant fight, though.”

 

Harry laughed out loud at the reference to the Klingon beast, then smirked.  “Like anyone could resist you,” he winked at the Ktarian.

 

Kieran scowled.  “It’s not like anyone has even tried.  Everywhere we go, there’s someone ogling her, Harry.  The people on this ship are so obvious, sometimes,” she complained.

 

Naomi waggled her eyebrows.  “Let them look, sweetie.  It’s the most they can hope for, because when the day comes to an end, I’m going home with you,” she flirted, leaning over to kiss her lover.

 

“You know,” Harry decided, “I think the rest of the crew would be a lot better to you guys if they could interact with Naomi,” he said mostly to Kieran.  “All they know is she looks totally grown up, but they assume she’s still a kid emotionally, and five minutes with her would put that misconception to rest,” he advised.  “You guys should socialize more.  That might turn the tide.”

 

“Maybe,” Kieran shrugged.  “Frankly, I don’t feel much like being the one to educate the crew.  I’m in love, I’m happy, and I just don’t give a damn what they think about it,” she smiled warmly at Naomi, taking her hand.

 

“Yeah, I get that,” Harry said through a mouthful of crisp stir-fried broccoli, “but when I check your schedule, KT, you have almost no clients.  Aren’t you afraid you’ll lose your practice?” his almond- shaped eyes glittered darkly, concerned for his friend.

 

“Not at all.  I’m plenty busy, studying for my final exam, and then I’m going to fill in for Chakotay, while he takes a personal leave.  I won’t have time to do sessions, anyway.  Besides, my lack of patients has given me a lot of time with Naomi, and with Katie, and I feel like it’s allowed Naomi and I to find our footing as a couple.”

 

“Katie is growing like a weed,” Harry said fondly, grinning.  “She’s going to be deadly pretty,” he added some grated cheese to his dish. 

 

“Like her mother,” Kieran agreed.  “You can’t tell she’s mine at all.”

 

“That’s not true,” Naomi chimed in.  “She has your eyes, and she has your facial expressions.  She also has a good deal of your temperament, which nicely offsets her Klingon side,” she laced her fingers with Kieran’s.  “You’re terrific with her, too,” she said approvingly.  “It makes me totally confident that our own kids will be well adjusted, seeing you with her.”

 

Harry’s eyes widened.  “You’re talking about a family so soon?” He held his fork suspended in mid-air, waiting for the reply.

 

“We’ve talked about it a little, but we’re not really at the planning stages yet,” Kieran said, smiling.  “She just says things like that to see how I’ll react.”

 

“And?” Naomi toyed with her.

 

“My love,” Kieran folded her hands on the table, eyes sparkling, “I’m sure I’ll be ready when the time comes.   But for now, I’m enjoying having you all to myself.”

 

“Good answer,” Naomi replied, laughing.  “And don’t let Kieran fool you, Harry.  She pretends to be nonchalant about it, but she was awfully eager to find out what our kids might look like, after I told her I had cross-matched our genomes in the Doctor’s genetic matrix program.”

 

Harry grinned.  “And did they look good?”

 

Kieran smiled, amused.  “They looked enough like Naomi that I think it’s safe for us to reproduce.  Much more resemblance to me and I’d have to say forget it,” she laughed.

 

“Well, as long as you haven’t picked out names for them yet, I won’t worry too much,” he teased the young lovers, thinking any of their offspring would necessarily be attractive.

 

Kieran winked at Harry.  “Actually, I have thought about names.”

 

Naomi’s eyes widened.  “You have?”

 

“Don’t look so surprised, sweetheart,” Kieran patted her hand.  “I am the hopeless romantic, of this pair, you know.”

 

Naomi got up from the table, found two PADDs and handed one to Kieran.  “Okay.  Three kids—two girls and a boy.  You list the names you’d choose and I’ll list the ones I’d choose, and we can see if we’re in synch.  Harry,” Naomi turned to their lunch guest, “usually, the two of us are on the same wavelength all the time.  It’s eerie.”

 

“Okay,” Kieran smiled, tapping on the keys.

 

“Done?” Naomi asked.  Kieran nodded.  “Hand them to Harry,” she instructed, sliding hers across the tabletop.

 

Harry read them both.  “You guys have done this before,” he accused.

 

“No, we haven’t, I swear,” Naomi said.  “Are they identical?”

 

Harry shook his head.  “You both put ‘Annika’ and ‘Cassidy’ for the girls.  But you put down ‘Noah’ for the boy, and Kieran put down ‘Gerald’.”

 

Kieran shook her head.  “We are not naming our son after Noah Lessing.  He isn’t even speaking to me,” she pointed out.

 

Naomi shrugged.  “He will be, by the time we’re pregnant.  Where did you get Gerald from?”

 

“My Dad,” Kieran admitted.  She grinned at her lover.  “We’ll work on the boy’s name,” she decided.

 

Naomi nodded eagerly.  “I knew we’d get the girls right, though,” she bragged.

 

Harry was feeling a lot better about the couple, seeing how they interacted.  It really wasn’t much different than their friendship had been, except they touched each other almost constantly.  He smiled at them both, realizing for the first time that this was a good thing.

 

“What are you thinking about, Starfleet?” Kieran used B’Elanna’s nickname for Harry.

 

“Oh, I don’t know.  Just thinking how relieved I am now that I know I can spend time with you and not feel weird.  It’s like--”

 

Kieran touched his hand.  “Like what, Harry?”

 

“You’ve found your Seriah,” he inclined his head, acknowledging the magnitude of the connection she shared with Naomi.

 

Kieran grinned.  “Yes, I have.”

 

_________________

 

Seven of Nine, formerly of the Borg collective, was working diligently in the kitchen, concocting one of Kathryn’s favorite dishes from Gretchen Janeway’s recipe collection.   Seven had been observing her oldest daughter, Naomi Wildman, and the way that Naomi interacted with her lover, Kieran Thompson, and felt she could learn a few things from the couple.  They always seemed to make the most mundane things romantic, and their intimacy was exactly what Seven wanted in her own relationship.

 

Her marriage to Voyager’s Captain had been solid, in the beginning, and had survived some rough going in the early years.  The last two or three years had been extremely taxing for the married couple, between crises on the ship and problems within their own family unit.  Seven had contemplated divorce more than once, and had separated from Kathryn Janeway when the Captain could not bring herself to accept that Naomi had grown up and moved beyond the structure of their family unit.  In Seven’s eyes, Kathryn’s problem was one of wanting to control everyone and everything, especially her family. 

 

More puzzling to the former drone, whose emotions were rarely out of control, were Kathryn’s extreme mood changes.  She could go from calm and placid to smoldering anger in the course of a few seconds, and Seven was at a loss to understand what triggered the abrupt swings.  Kathryn had agreed to counseling, as a means of getting Seven to move back in with her after the Borg had relocated to the cargo bay, and the sessions with the ship’s holographic counselor seemed to have a positive impact on Kathryn’s behavior.  Seven suspected the fear of losing her was another driving force behind the improvements she had seen in her wife of late.  Whatever the reason, Seven was grateful for the moments of peace they found together, but couldn’t shake the sense of dread that another storm was always brewing on the horizon.

 

Ordinarily, in times of trouble, Seven would go to the Ship’s Counselor, Kieran Thompson, for input and a grounding perspective, or simply an ear to bend.  The two women were exceedingly close, since joining forces to care for Naomi when a serious illness took her to the brink of death.  Kieran and Seven had spent months conferring on Naomi’s care and recovery, had depended on each other for the things they could not find elsewhere in terms of moral support and strength. 

 

But now that Kieran was lovers with Naomi, Seven was not inclined to seek Kieran out or to intrude on their newfound happiness with her petty problems and concerns.  She was strict with herself, relying upon Borg discipline and logic to bolster her, instead of running to Kieran for reassurance and help.  Similarly, her best friend, B'Elanna Torres, was in the midst of a new relationship, and Seven felt uncomfortable taking her troubles to B'Elanna.  More than that, it was difficult to be married to the fiercely private captain of Voyager, who would certainly take umbrage to Seven disclosing their marital issues to any of the captain’s subordinates.   And so Seven isolated herself, shouldering her concerns alone.  And there were a good many deep concerns.

 

Seven tried to imagine, under the same circumstances, what Kieran would do to try to improve the timbre of the relationship, and so she redoubled her efforts to be available to Kathryn, to reach out to her.  Sometimes, Kathryn accepted the overtures and reciprocated.  Sometimes she did not.  Seven was never certain when or why Kathryn would be receptive, but she kept trying, because that’s what Kieran would advise, she believed.  Communication, honesty, and putting the needs of your partner first, those were the things she saw in Naomi and Kieran’s relationship that seemed to make it so rewarding for both women. 

 

When Kathryn came from the bridge, Seven met her in the living room with a glass of wine and a solicitous kiss, coupled with a genuine smile and a welcoming embrace. 

 

“Something smells good,” Kathryn smiled warmly at her wife.

 

“I’m making hoppin’ jack,” Seven replied.  “Your mother’s recipe.”

 

“Really?” Kathryn was actually excited at the prospect.  “You haven’t made it in ages.  Thank you,” she offered sincerely.

 

“Change your uniform,” Seven suggested.  “Something more comfortable is laid out for you in the bedroom.  Dinner will be ready shortly.  I missed you, today,” she said softly.  It was something Naomi often told Kieran, even after a separation of a mere hour or so.

 

Kathryn studied her wife’s expression, understanding that Seven was trying hard to connect with her.  “I missed you, too,” she replied in kind.  “I’ll go get out of uniform, and I’ll be right back.” she kissed Seven once more, lingering over it, reluctant to go when the mood between them was so tender.

 

Kathryn smiled to herself as she realized Seven had an amorous agenda, given that the ‘something more comfortable’ was a revealing red silk nightgown that had been a gift on their last anniversary.  She thought about the night Seven had presented to her, the passion that followed, what a rarity that had been with them of late.  She was glad that her wife was still willing to initiate intimacy, after such a rough spell together, and hoped she could be what Seven wanted that night.  Kathryn was nothing if not perceptive, and it was apparent to her that the two new relationships Seven saw daily had somehow made her Borg acutely aware of the sexual inertia their marriage had fallen into. 

 

Not that Kathryn didn’t love sex, because she did.  But she didn’t always want the vulnerability that necessarily accompanied sexual intimacy with Seven.  It was conflicting, the paradox between her stoic façade as captain and the defenselessness that was required for true communion with her spouse.  When the ship was in the midst of a crisis, which was often, she found it nearly impossible to leave the captain on the bridge, in favor of the woman Seven loved, at home. 

 

Since they had been at Restid Three, where a bacteria invaded the ship’s bioneural components and caused months and months of shipwide system failures, the Captain persona had been firmly in place, and the constant strain of the circumstances had pushed Kathryn Janeway, the woman, into the background.  Now that there was some semblance of normalcy on the ship, Kathryn was finding that dropping her mask of command was unfamiliar, as it had been when she’d first met Seven of Nine.  The two women had become relative strangers to one another, since Restid Three, and finding a path back to the marriage was more challenging than any command scenario Kathryn had encountered.

 

Kathryn knew there were other issues, resentments that had grown between them, but even those issues came down to the same thing: vulnerability.  When Naomi had fallen ill, Kathryn could not afford the luxury of falling apart emotionally, of showing her vulnerability, when she had a ship to run.  And she did not have the tools to deal with the situation without falling apart, because she loved her daughter so much.  Her only defense was to essentially ignore the situation, leaving Seven and Kieran to deal with Naomi’s illness and day-to-day care. 

 

An unintended side effect was that she had abandoned Seven emotionally, and the accusation remained in Seven’s eyes to this day.  It was something Kathryn presumed Seven would never forgive.  Kathryn knew she did not deserve forgiveness, and so she would never ask for it.  What she failed to see was that even if Seven couldn’t forgive her, the apology needed to be tendered, the abandonment acknowledged, and the resentment examined.

 

Beyond that, Naomi’s relationship with Kieran had been a serious bone of contention between the Hansen-Janeways, and the bickering and arguments over that relationship had become a power struggle that threatened even now.  Despite twice-weekly sessions with Dee, the holographic Ship’s Counselor, Kathryn had yet to scratch the surface of the torment her daughter’s relationship had visited upon her marriage.  She and Seven simply did not discuss it, because the discussion always deteriorated into an argument.  Kathryn no longer openly opposed the relationship, and tried to put up a supportive front, but the fact that Kieran had lied to her and betrayed her for the relationship with Naomi rankled in the older woman, and both Kieran and Naomi’s shift in allegiance cut her to the quick.

 

Kieran had been her best friend, and she had used that vulnerability against Kathryn, to trick her and take advantage of her, so she could steal Naomi away.  And Naomi had offered no real resistance, had, in fact, thrown Kathryn’s parenting in her face with total disrespect and a lack of gratitude on her way out the door to run away with Kieran.  And then the two women had filed suit against Kathryn and Seven to obtain Naomi’s legal emancipation.  As much as the evidence clearly showed Naomi was an adult, Kathryn cared less about the scientific proof and more about the personal affront, and forgiving her daughter and her best friend was a long way off.

 

Seven found Kathryn in the bedroom, pondering the state of her life, still in uniform, staring at the nightgown on the bed.

 

“Kathryn, is something the matter?” she asked softly, sliding her arms around her wife.

 

“No, darling, nothing,” Kathryn turned in the Borg’s arms, twining her own around Seven’s neck and stretching to kiss her. 

 

“You were gone so long, I thought you got lost,” Seven teased her.  “Dinner is ready.”

 

“I was lost in thought,” she admitted. 

 

“What were you thinking?” Seven wondered.

 

“That you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” she fibbed.  “And how fortunate I am to be loved by you.”

 

Seven laughed lightly, pleased at the response.  “I love you, Kathryn,” she kissed her tenderly.  “Don’t let dinner get cold.”

 

“I’ll hurry,” Kathryn promised. 

 

 

The Captain and her spouse sat companionably together on the sofa in the living room, sipping wine and talking quietly.  Geejay Janeway, their toddler daughter, was with Naomi for the evening, as a special favor to Seven.  Since Kieran had command duty on the bridge, Naomi was more than happy to baby-sit for her sister.

 

“Did you really miss me, today?” Kathryn ventured, studying her wife’s ice blue eyes with considerable affection.

 

Seven took Kathryn’s hand, squeezing her smaller fingers in larger, Borg-enhanced ones.  “Yes, very much.  I found myself unable to concentrate at work, in fact.  Only, don’t tell my Captain, or I will be in trouble,” she whispered the last sentence.

 

Kathryn laughed.  “Your secret is safe with me.  Seven,” she reached deeper into herself, searching for the appropriate words, “I appreciate your willingness to work on this.”

 

Seven gave her an enigmatic look.

 

“On us, on our marriage,” Kathryn clarified.  “I know I’m not an easy woman to live with.  It’s difficult for me to be involved with someone under my command, and I understand now why so many Starfleet officers do not marry within their own ranks.”

 

“Like your father?” Seven supplied.

 

“Exactly.  Daddy understood the difficulty engendered by that situation, and he tried to warn me when Justin and I were engaged that there are inherent problems, anytime you’re involved with a higher or lower ranking officer.  Our circumstances being what they are, none of us on Voyager really have a choice, but it doesn’t make it any easier.”

 

Seven kissed Kathryn’s cheek.  “I would like to help if I can,” she offered.  “Tell me about your difficulty, Kathryn.”  She poured more wine for them both, then reclaimed the Captain’s hand.

 

“It’s mostly that I’ve been so rigidly entrenched in the role of running this ship, that I don’t know how to stop being that person when I walk in the door at night.  I forget to be Kathryn, because I’m still busy being Captain Janeway.  Does that make sense?”

 

“Perfect sense,” Seven agreed.  “I have known that for a long time about you.  I just didn’t realize it was as frustrating for you as it is for me,” she admitted quietly.

 

“It is frustrating,” Kathryn allowed.  “Identifying the problem, however, does not present a solution.”

 

Seven nodded.  “Perhaps if we made a rule that ship’s matters don’t pass through our private doors?”

 

“Would you want to never discuss Astrometrics with me?  Our work is a huge part of our lives.  I’m not sure it’s realistic to close off the bulk of our waking hours from discussion,” she decided.

 

“You used to let me help you with ship’s business,” Seven pointed out.  “You valued my input.  Lately, it seems you don’t even want to hear it,” she sounded hurt.

 

Kathryn sighed.  “I know I’ve been contrary.  I can’t even say why.  I don’t know when I started to shut you out, or what prompted me to,” she confessed.

 

“I know when, but I don’t know why,” Seven advised.  “It was after Restid Three.  Everything changed, when Naomi got sick.  You changed,” she tried not to sound accusatory.  “We couldn’t agree on anything, after she got better, either.  You withdrew from me emotionally because Naomi was dying, and once she was in remission, it was like you had forgotten how to be with me as a lover, as a companion.  What happened, Kathryn?”

 

She sighed gustily, afraid to articulate it.  “I didn’t know how to handle watching Naomi die.  I couldn’t stand it, the gradual waxing and waning of her health, the constant setbacks and her suffering.  When she would wake up screaming in pain, it would completely shut me down, emotionally, because I couldn’t fix it.  I’m the Captain, but in that situation, none of my authority, my experience, or my expertise made a bit of difference in her condition or her pain,” she confessed her consternation. 

 

There was more, Kathryn.  Tell her. Open yourself to her.  She’s trying so hard. Kathryn sipped her wine, took a resolute breath and forced herself to tell the rest.  “And it brought back memories I couldn’t handle,” she confided, though the admission was difficult for her.  She sipped her wine, wondering if she had revealed too much.

 

“What memories, my love?” Seven asked, bolstering Kathryn with a firm grip on her hand.

 

Kathryn let the sour liquid trickle down her throat, considering whether to respond honestly.  “When I was taken hostage by the Cardassians, I could hear them torturing Owen Paris.  I listened to him screaming for hours, Seven.  It was—” she shuddered, “unbearable.  Because I knew they were coming for me next, and I had heard his agony.  And—God, I’m ashamed to say this, but I knew as long as he was the one screaming, I was safe.  So I prayed he wouldn’t stop,” she hung her head. 

 

“Hearing Naomi’s agony was just as torturous for me, because I was helpless to stop it.  And it made me relive that whole experience of the Cardassians in my mind.  I don’t know how you withstood her suffering.  And I hate myself for that weakness, and I hated you for being so much stronger than me.  I especially hated Kieran for her strength, and for being your support, even though I was the one you needed to support you.  In some twisted way, I suppose, I saw Naomi’s choosing Kieran as her lover as my punishment for failing her and for failing you.  That may be why I have such a hard time with their relationship, because it reminds me that I was a failure, and Kieran was the one who came through for both of you.”

 

“I did need you,” Seven wasn’t going to lie about it.  “And Kieran was there.  But in your defense, Kieran is trained to be just that—a support system to this crew.  You are trained to be a leader, a warrior, a diplomat, a military strategist—not a nurse or a counselor.  And no one gets training in being a parent,” she said sadly.

 

“Don’t we?  I had my own parents to draw from.  You had only the Collective, yet when the true parenting skills were needed, there you were, pulling them out of thin air.  You were magnificent, with that whole situation, Seven.  I couldn’t be more proud of you,” she emphasized by tapping their joined hands on her thigh.

 

“But you hated me?” she reflected back on Kathryn’s words.

 

“Love and hate are such closely related emotions,” Kathryn said philosophically.  “Really, they are close enough on the spectrum that they bleed into each other, at times.  Black and white make gray.  It wasn’t so much that I hated you or Kieran, really, as that I hated myself for not being what you were able to be for Naomi, for each other.  Sometime, while all that was going on, it became abundantly clear to me that you’re attracted to Kieran.  And that made it even more difficult to let my walls down, because I knew she was providing you with the things I hadn’t.”

 

Seven didn’t deny her attraction, and the lack of denial hung between them palpably.  “And now? Can you take down your walls now?”

 

“I’m trying,” Kathryn replied.  “Part of me wonders why you even want that with me, after all that’s happened.”

 

“You are my wife, and I need that from you,” Seven supplied matter-of-factly.  “I see Naomi and Kieran together, how they achieve such a harmony, such a perfect surrender to one another, and I need that with you.  I see how it sustains them, and nourishes them, and how strong they both are for it, and I feel the absence of that connection with you.  I don’t want to be lonely, anymore.  I need to be in a collective, even if it is only a collective of two.”

 

“And you still choose me for that collective?  After everything I’ve done, everything I’ve said?” Kathryn needed confirmation.

 

“I chose you long ago, and that has not changed.  All that has changed is your willingness to be with me, in that collective of two.  I cannot live being lonely, within the confines of our marriage.  I won’t.  Be with me, Kathryn, give yourself to me,” she urged, taking her into strong arms and kissing her with love and longing.

 

“Seven,” Kathryn murmured into their kisses, “I do love you.  I need you,” she admitted, body yielding to increasing insistence from her spouse.

 

It was the first time in a long time that they had made love, in any real sense.  So often their interaction had been furtive, undertaken in the cover of complete darkness, without words or even the admission that the act had occurred, more a biological need than a sharing of themselves.  Now they gazed at one another openly, the lighting bright enough to see everything from facial expressions to the color of one another’s eyes, and Seven’s gaze was as penetrating as her fingers in Kathryn’s opening, as urgent as the cries that came from her wife as she loved her.  It had been an even longer time since their intimacy caused Kathryn to cry, afterward, and Seven knew, with the flood of tears, that finally, she had gotten through.  It might not be a permanent passageway to Kathryn’s vulnerability, but it was a start.

_________________

 

Counselor Kieran Thompson had resumed her periodic bridge duties on Beta shift, and was coming off a grueling evening during which many sensor problems had arisen, and most of the Engineering staff had to be recalled to duty.  She had cancelled a meeting with Tuvok, things got so hectic, and now she needed something to eat before she could unwind enough to go to bed.  She knew Naomi would be fast asleep, since she had actually stayed on the bridge until well after Gamma shift had begun. 

 

She yawned, rubbing her eyes sleepily as she walked down the vacant corridor toward the mess hall, trying to decide what she would like to eat. The gingered vegetables Naomi had made for lunch sounded good, but with Harry there, leftovers weren’t remotely possible.  Kieran chuckled to herself, thinking about how shocked Harry had been that she and Naomi had already talked about having kids.

 

There were no alerting footsteps, there was no telling rustling of clothing, not even a suspicious shadow to warn her.  She never saw the blow that came, and as she fell to the deck, mercifully unconscious, she never felt the crushing impact to her midsection as an angrily placed boot fractured ribs and punctured a lung.

 

Her last conscious thought was that she could taste blood, and then there was darkness.

 

 

Harry Kim was back in command school, and had been in the holodeck running a command simulation.  He often did them in the middle of the night, when holodeck demand was low, and he could repeat them if he needed to without usurping someone else’s time.  He was in the midst of the physical conditioning and hand-to-hand combat tactics module, and he came around a curving hallway, scrubbing a towel over his sweat-soaked hair.  He stopped cold in his tracks, stunned at the long body crumpled in the corridor.  It was clearly a female, with short, spiked blonde hair, but the woman was so bloodied and battered, it took several seconds to realize it was Kieran. 

 

“Jesus,” he scrambled to the floor, where Kieran was lying unconscious and bleeding.  He smacked his comm badge.  “Kim to sickbay, I have a medical emergency.  Computer, two for site-to-site transport on my mark.  Mark!”

 

The Doctor had been in his office, running some laboratory tests, when Harry arrived with Kieran’s body .  “Good lord,” he muttered, snatching his medical tricorder and rushing into the examining room.  “What happened?”

 

Harry tried to force down the bile at the back of his throat.  “Looks like someone beat her,” he stated the obvious.  “I better get the Captain and Tuvok.”

 

Kieran groaned in the floor, one eye completely swollen shut, lips puffy and encrusted with blood.  Her right arm was bent at an unnatural angle, and her uniform was torn through in various places and soaked with blood. A small pool was forming behind her head, sticky and smeared on the deck plating.

 

“Counselor,” the Doctor said gently.  “Lie still.  I don’t want to move you until I’ve assessed your injuries.”

 

She grabbed his arm with her undamaged left hand, a look of pure desperation on her face.  “Don’t let--” she gasped, “Naomi--see me--like this.”

 

The Doctor nodded emphatically, frowning as Kieran passed out again.  “Harry, hail Tom Paris.  I’m going to need his help,” he advised, scanning.  “I need you to get him, and then help me put her on the anti-grav sled to move her.”

 

_____________________

 

Captain Janeway paced angrily, talking to her Security Chief.  “I want the culprit or culprits who did this, Tuvok, and I want them now,” she snarled, outraged at the cowardly assault.

 

“The Lieutenant Commander managed to tell me that she did not see her assailants.  She was struck from behind.  The Doctor’s forensic examination should be complete within the hour, and we will have fiber and fluid samples to analyze. I have a team combing the crime scene for clues, as well.”

 

Janeway nodded.  “This is out of hand.  I don’t care if you have to question every man, woman, and child on this ship.  I want the culpable people in the brig.  And I want constant security with Kieran and with Naomi.”

 

Tuvok inclined his head.  “This is my fault, Captain.  I should have adjusted the duty rosters as soon as you dismissed me today.  I wanted to meet with Kieran first, before I assigned a guard, and I see now that the delay was foolhardy.  Whatever reprimand you deem is appropriate--”

 

“Not necessary,” Janeway forestalled the self-recrimination.  “I didn’t make it your top priority, and I should have.”  And why didn’t I?  Did I subconsciously overlook the urgency of the situation, because I’m so angry with her?  Was I derelict in my duty?  She looked up as the Doctor came in.  “How bad is it?” she asked, frightened by the look on his face.

 

“It’s not good,” he advised.  “Not life threatening, but she took a ferocious beating.  I’m going to have to surgically reduce the fracture in her forearm.  There are too many fragments that are displaced to use a bone knitter.  I need to get in there and piece the bone together by hand, then knit it.  Her lung was punctured, and I’ve got that on the mend, but she is going to be very sore.  She had three fractured ribs, a skull fracture, too many bruises and cuts to count, and her jaw is broken.  I’ve loaded her with pain killers.”

 

“What about her face?” Kathryn couldn’t help asking.  Kieran had always been so pretty, and from what Kathryn could see, that would not be true any longer, without a good deal of work.

 

“It’s looking almost normal.  I think Seven can let Naomi come in to see her, if Naomi wants to, before I start the surgical procedure.”  He turned to Tuvok.  “I hope, Commander, you have some leads.  I’ve never seen anything so vicious in my career that wasn’t inflicted by a hostile alien.  To think one of our own could do this--I am shocked,” he sounded genuinely sickened, his dark eyes disturbed.

 

Janeway crossed her arms.  “Prep her, Doctor, and I’ll get Naomi.  Seven’s practically had to hogtie her to keep her out of there.”

 

Janeway gathered her courage and went to the anteroom of sickbay, where Seven of Nine, the Captain’s spouse, was trying to reason with her lovely daughter.

 

“Naomi, Kieran specifically asked that you not be allowed in to see her,” Seven explained, trying to enfold the young woman in her arms.  “I know you’re afraid, but it’s what Kieran wants.”

 

“I don’t care,” she spat angrily.  “I should be in there.  What the hell is going on?  How badly is she hurt?  Who did this to her?” her hazel eyes flashed at the atrocity, face bereft of all color.

 

Janeway cleared her throat.  “The Doctor says you can see her now.  She’s going to have surgery to repair a compound fracture in her right arm.  Her injuries are severe, but not life-threatening.”

 

Naomi rushed past her mothers, finding Kieran behind a privacy shield.  She was conscious, but heavily sedated.  Kieran’s eyes followed Naomi into the room, and she could tell the young woman’s heart broke at the sight of her.

 

“Do I look that bad, love?” she asked faintly, unable to reach for Naomi due to her fracture.

 

“Yes,” Naomi kissed her forehead.  “God, Kieran, I was so worried.  You’re going to be fine, though, the Doctor says so,” she touched her beloved’s face with the gentlest fingertips.  “Don’t you ever do that to me again,” she scolded.

 

“What?  Get my ass kicked?” she tried to smile, but pain lanced through her face.

 

“No, don’t you ever forbid me to see you.  I am your partner, and whatever comes, we face it together.”

 

“I didn’t want you to panic, Na,” she murmured through the drugs.  “It probably looked worse than it is, it---uhhnn,” she groaned, eyelids clenching.

 

“What is it?  Doctor!” she shouted.

 

“My head,” Kieran gasped. 

 

The Doctor stepped over and scanned her again.  “There was a small skull fracture, and I had to place a drain in your scalp, for now.  I’ll remove it as soon as I can.  Turn your head,” he examined the area.  “It looks fine.  I just need to give you a stronger analgesic,” he explained, prepping a hypospray.  “Counselor, I am going to put you under now.  I need to reduce your ulnar fracture.  Naomi,” he said softly, “I don’t let observers in the operating room, so you’ll have to wait in the anteroom.”

 

“Okay,” she agreed reluctantly.  She kissed Kieran carefully, so as not to touch anything that hurt.  “I love you, always and only you,” she assured her beloved.  “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

 

“’Kay,” Kieran was already drifting into oblivion.  “Love you.”

 

_________________

 

Naomi Wildman had been sent home to sleep, banished from the sickbay by the Doctor.  Kathryn Janeway had retired hours before, and now Seven of Nine, who had just completed a regeneration cycle, crept into sickbay to sit with Kieran Thompson.  The Counselor was still under the influence of the anesthesia from her surgery, and had been drifting in and out of sleep for the past few hours.

 

Seven allowed herself the indulgence of truly looking at the tall woman, lying on the biobed, body abused and fragmented and trying to heal itself.  Kieran had sharp spikes of dark blonde hair streaked with brighter shades, succumbing to the unkempt look of one in bed too long; a thin face, with angular cheekbones and a slender nose, though there was swelling along the jawline where the fracture had been.  She had a strong chin, but not so strong as to be masculine, or to detract from the softness of her face, Seven decided.  Kieran’s lips were thin, possibly because she smiled so much, Seven surmised, and the thought made her angry that anyone could harm this woman.  Kieran was always laughing about something, always gentle with everyone around her, rarely cross or defensive, and yet she had been beaten to the point of unrecognizability, for some imagined crime.  Seven touched her undamaged cheek, stroking it with two outstretched fingers, and without thinking to stop herself, she kissed Kieran’s forehead.

 

Kieran stirred into semi-consciousness, blinking the exhaustion and chemical fog from her brain.  “Hi, Seven,” she murmured.  “Don’t look so sad, I’m really okay,” she managed to say, though her face ached from the effort.

 

Both women were completely surprised when Seven burst into tears.  Kieran gathered her gingerly into her arms, trying not to move anything that throbbed, but needing to comfort her.  “Hey,” she whispered against Seven’s platinum hair, “your Borgness, please don’t cry about this.  I swear, I’m fine.  Just really sore, honey.  Don’t fret,” she urged.

 

Seven clung to her, cognizant and careful of her injuries, but needing her closeness and reassurance.  “I want to kill whoever did this to you, as surely as I killed Dutritt,” she said through her upset, astonished at her own emotion.

 

“I appreciate the sentiment,” Kieran said gently.  “But this isn’t your fight.  It’s Tuvok’s, now.  Please, Seven, don’t cry,” she stroked Seven’s hair, trying to soothe her fear. 

 

Seven hugged her closer, trying to gain an edge of control over her rampant sadness and outrage.  “It hurts me,” she admitted.  “Like it hurt when Naomi was so sick and neither of us could do anything for her.”

 

“I know, and I’m so sorry,” Kieran felt awful for putting the former drone through such difficult emotions.  “But you can do things to help me.  It’s not like with Naomi, I promise,” she rubbed the towering blonde’s shoulders.

 

“I can?” Seven was skeptical.

 

“Sure,” Kieran kissed her hair.  “Oh, Seven, of course you can.  Just keep loving me, that’s all,” she took the former Borg’s chin between her finger and her thumb, peering intently into blue eyes.  “Don’t ever stop.”

 

Seven’s blood pounded in her ears, her voice almost non-existent.  “I do love you,” she said faintly, gazing back at the Counselor.  “I will, always.”

 

Kieran smiled, though it hurt terribly to do so.  “That’s the best medicine there ever could be,” she caressed Seven’s cheek with her thumb.  “Now I want you to go home and get some rest, and I’m going to do the same.  No more tears, okay?  Promise me,” she insisted, wiping the drops from her face with a gentleness that closed Seven’s throat.  She lifted her face to Seven’s and kissed her, the barest brushing of her lips over the fuller ones of the Borg.

 

Seven couldn’t reply, but she nodded affirmation.

 

“Good.  I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” Kieran withdrew her hand, nodding in the direction of the door.  “Sweet dreams, your Borgness.”

 

Seven wasn’t sure how she ended up in her quarters, did not recall walking to the turbolift, or keying the entry, or even undressing.  She slid between the softness of the sheets, senses overloaded.  Kathryn stirred beside her, then turned away from her.

 

Seven sat in the darkness, her chest aching.  She touched her own lips, and thought of Kieran’s, glancing over them all too briefly.  It didn’t mean anything.  She is always physically affectionate with people she loves. And she was drugged, Seven realized.  If she knew how she affected me, she would never touch me again. And I could not bear it.  I can never tell her anything, never let her see this weakness in me.

 

Seven of Nine, formerly of the Borg Collective, lay awake for the remainder of the night, wondering if, the Borg weren’t better off, after all, for their lack of emotion.  For all the trouble her own feelings raised, all the inefficiency and confusion, she longed for the anonymity of the Collective, the objectivity. 

 

There was no awareness of brown eyes, from within the hive mind.

_________________

 

 

Kieran Thompson was on her way to a speedy recovery, and the security investigation had turned up some interesting leads, but the investigation was being treated with the utmost secrecy.  Tuvok had questioned over twenty of the crew, and the information was slowly shaping up.  The culprits were most certainly from the lower decks, there was a good deal of alcohol involved, and there were three assailants.  Tuvok had scoured the lower decks and located an illicit still in Tristan Garrett’s quarters, and he had Garrett in the brig for the time being.  It gave him access for questioning of the young man, something Tuvok had done three times already.

 

While Kieran was ordered to rest, the Captain put Naomi on personal leave to tend to her.  Although the Captain used the excuse of Kieran’s recovery for the leave, the fact was, she wanted both women in one place, where security could watch over them both. 

 

When Kieran had recovered enough that Naomi could see a visible improvement, she took the Counselor to task.  If Kieran had ever thought she would have the upper hand with her partner, she was disabused of that notion.

 

It was their first fight, and it happened two days after Kieran was released from sickbay.  Naomi sat Kieran down at their kitchen table, folded her hands on the slick, black tabletop, and began calmly. 

 

“What in the hell,” she said with an emphasis on “the”,  “did you think you were doing, keeping me from seeing you?” she began, clearly not satisfied with the way they had previously addressed the situation.

 

Kieran’s eyes widened.  “Na,” she said softly, trying to take her hand, “I hurt everywhere, and I knew I looked like something the cat dragged in.  I didn’t want to frighten you.”

 

“Like closing me out of sickbay was supposed to reassure me?” she demanded, eyes fiery.

 

“It was a judgment call.  I wanted to protect you,” Kieran admitted, bewildered at the indictment.

 

“Let me tell you something, Kieran Thompson.  I have been through absolute hell to find my way to you--to us,” she stressed, finger jabbing into the tabletop.  “I will not allow you to close me out, not if you want me in your life.  It’s all or nothing, period.  This ridiculous proclivity of yours to try to shelter me from the harshness of reality is going to stop right here, right now.  If we are going to have an adult relationship, you have to treat me like an adult, not like your daughter,” her anger was full blown now, body tense and poised on the edge of her seat, knuckles white on the tabletop.

 

Kieran had never seen her so upset, not since she came out of her hallucination on Restid Three, ready to bite Kieran’s head off. 

 

“I didn’t mean to belittle you,” she defended herself.  “Honey, I’m accustomed to protecting you,” she emphasized, leaning forward over the table, “because I’ve played an adult to your child for so many years.  It’s a hard habit to break,” she argued plaintively, regretfully.

 

“You didn’t just insult my ability to deal with the situation,” Naomi continued, warming to her subject.  “You lessened what we are to each other,” she accused, articulating every word and letting the message sink in.  She could see that Kieran was listening.  “I need to be an equal partner in this relationship, Kieran.  Not just when you’re comfortable with it, not just when you think I can deal with it, but all the time.  I need to know you trust me to be able to fulfill that for you,” she exhaled her ire.  “If you really, truly don’t believe I can carry the load, then we have a very serious problem, here,” she said, imploring with both hands.

 

Kieran tried again to take her hand, this time succeeding.  “I apologize, okay?  I--damn it, Naomi, this is new territory for me, and I’ve got all these contradictory images of you in my head running around telling me how to act, how I’m supposed to be with you.  It’s confusing,” she admonished.  “I’m going to make mistakes, we both will.”

 

Naomi took Kieran’s other hand, so she was holding both in her own.  She gentled her voice and her mannerisms, appealing to Kieran’s sense of reason.   “You only get confused when you let the outside voices have center stage in your head, Kieran.  When it’s just us, our focus is crystal, our unity is undeniable, and you know in your heart we belong together and that you need me every bit as much as I need you.  Turn your vision inward, to us, not outward to the world,” she pleaded.  “And we’ll be balanced, just as we have been so far.  Please,” she softened her tone further, “don’t shut me out or diminish my importance in your life.  It hurts,” she said, the injury evident in her facial expression.   “You have to believe I can be strong for us both, when you can’t.  I believe that of you,” she urged her to understand.

 

Kieran studied her for a long while, face working.  She started to cry.  “I’m sorry,” she stood and pulled Naomi into her arms.  “You’re right, it was insensitive and insulting.  I was just so scared, I wasn’t thinking straight.  All I could think was that seeing me like that would cause you such pain, and I couldn’t bear the thought of your having to weather it alone.”

 

Naomi slipped her arms around Kieran, squeezing gently because she was still stiff and sore. 

 

“It’s okay,” Naomi soothed her, cupping the back of her head carefully.  When Kieran had cried herself out, Naomi kissed her delicately, careful of the tenderness to her jaw line.  “Honey, I just want us to be everything I know we were meant to be to each other.  So as they say on Qian,” she grinned, recovering her sense of levity, “let us be equals.”  She kissed Kieran’s cheek.

 

Kieran smiled, eyes red and nose runny.  “Familiars,” she agreed, kissing Naomi’s cheek in turn.

 

“I am not made of glass, okay?” Naomi prompted, just to drive the point home.  “And I will have to become a good deal tougher, to face our future.  Eventually you’ll have your own ship, and I see how much strength and perseverance Seven has to exercise to be with a ship’s captain.”

 

Kieran sniffed, leaning her forehead against Naomi’s.  “Seven told me my protectiveness holds you back,” she remembered.  “I didn’t really see how when she said it, but I see it now,” she said apologetically.  “I love you so much, Naomi.  Please, please believe me when I tell you I want this to work, and I want to make you--us--happy.”

 

Naomi kissed her.  “I love you too. But if you never let me have the chance to prove to myself how strong I can be, how can I ever prove it to you?”

 

Kieran closed her eyes, breathing the scent of Naomi’s strawberry blonde hair.  “Point taken.  I’ll try not to let it happen again.”  Without understanding why, she started to cry again.  Naomi led her into their bedroom, where they stretched out together, and she held Kieran then, rubbing her shoulders and helping her release the upset.

 

When Kieran’s sobs had subsided into mild hiccoughing, Naomi turned both women over, peering down at Kieran intently.

 

“Tell me what that was about,” she invited, eyes warm with love and concern.

 

“I--” Kieran faltered.  “I just got scared, that’s all,” she explained.  “That was our first fight, and I don’t want to lose you,” she said sadly.

 

Naomi’s face softened.  “My love, you will not lose me,” she insisted, touching Kieran’s face.  “Do you really think I’d just walk away?”

 

“It’s happened to me before,” she pointed out, feeling lost.

 

“Kieran,” Naomi emphasized,  “I’m fighting for us, not with you.  I’m fighting to make us stronger, more bonded, more secure.  Fighting with someone only weakens and undermines the relationship.  But fighting for the relationship itself, for the sake of it, is an entirely different matter, and it is necessary for the relationship to grow.”

 

Kieran gazed up at her, astounded.  “God, that was insightful.  I’m supposed to be the Counselor, yet you understand so much that I could never put into words.  How did you ever learn that?”

 

Naomi kissed her lingeringly.  “From watching the Moms, and you and Lanna.  The Moms have never learned how to fight for each other, and that is why they’ve broken up twice in just a few years of marriage.  You are the love of my life, Kieran, and I don’t want to blunder through this, damaging our union irreparably out of negligence or thoughtlessness,” she kissed Kieran’s forehead to emphasize her words.

 

“As for B’Elanna,” Naomi added, “she has never learned how to make a valid argument without bringing the argument down to a personal, name-calling sort of confrontation.  She doesn’t understand that there can be conflict without animosity.  I think that is why you were drowning in that relationship, because her anger is so pervasive and toxic, and it is contagious,” she explained, wondering how Kieran had survived the relationship at all. 

 

She touched the Counselor’s cheek, admiring her strength of character. “But you are the single most loving, caring woman I’ve ever known, and you are never afraid to be wrong.  One reason I’ve chosen to be with you is that I know you’re truly capable of a rich, full relationship, a perfect, equitable partnership, and you don’t always have to be right.  You and B’Elanna were never going to be on equal footing, because she was more married to her own need to be right than she was married to being right in her relationship with you.”

 

Kieran kissed her hard, not caring that the pressure caused pain in the damaged tissues of her own face.  “You’re right,” she whispered fiercely, “I need you every bit as much as you need me.  I’ve already learned so much from you--not just about relationships but about myself, too.”  She reclaimed Naomi’s lips and deepened their kiss, exploring her mouth aggressively, as if to reassure herself that Naomi was still with her.

 

Naomi was immediately aroused at the insistence of Kieran’s kiss, at the ferocity of it, and she pressed against her intimately.  “I love you,” she said between passionate intervals, “always and only you,” she added, gasping as Kieran bit her throat softly.  She gave herself over to her beloved readily, wanting to dispel any doubts Kieran might harbor about their future, needing to connect on that basic, instinctual level to affirm their love, to give it back to Kieran so there would be no question who she belonged to and who she belonged with. 

 

Kieran took her powerfully and almost immediately, ushering her to a frenzied pleasure with little preamble or foreplay, oblivious to the soreness of the muscles and bones employed in the lovemaking.  When Naomi came to her, crying out sharply and clasping Kieran’s head to her thighs, Kieran eased herself back up the length of the bed to hold Naomi.

 

“You see, I do trust you to be strong,” she promised her one true love.  “I trust you to take my tears, and my most unbridled lust,” she murmured against Naomi’s throat.  “I trust you to accept my need, to welcome it, to understand it.  And you did.  You let me take you not for the pleasure it gives you, but for the need I had to touch you.”

 

Naomi took the larger woman in her arms, cradling her.  “I love you so,” she kissed her spiky hair.  “That was--incredible.”

 

Kieran laughed quietly.  “Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I didn’t hurt you?” she asked, realizing just how forceful their joining had been.

 

“Not at all.  I wouldn’t want to get any friskier than that,” she added, just for insurance.  “But that was just exactly how I wanted you to take me, today.”

 

“It felt right to me, too,” she said against Naomi’s chest.  “I love you, Na.  Thank you for loving me enough to fight for us.”

 

Naomi thought about the events of the last few days, of how helpless she had felt in sickbay.  “I want you to do something for me,” she said quietly.  “I want you to sign medical power of attorney over to me, and I will sign the same over to you.  I want the legal right to come into sickbay if you’re hurt.”

 

“Okay,” Kieran agreed.  “That’s probably a good idea.  I wouldn’t want to ever end up at Kathryn’s mercy if you had a medical crisis.  Not that Seven and I wouldn’t join forces for your well being, but a power of attorney would cut through any potential crap.  First thing tomorrow, I’ll download the forms from the database.”

 

“Thank you,” Naomi snuggled warmly into her lover.  “It’s just a little peace of mind for me.”

 

___________________

 

Kieran and Naomi lay entangled, both panting and waiting for their vision to resolve as the bed seemed to spin.  Kieran held her beloved intimately, both facing outward from the headboard, trying to regain their equilibrium.

 

“Wow,” Naomi said softly, exhaling in a long, whistling rush. 

 

Kieran pressed her lips to Naomi’s hair.  “Wow, indeed,” she agreed.  “I think we may have touched the edge of enlightenment, that time,” she chuckled, leaning her head on Naomi’s back.

 

“I’m thirsty,” Naomi tried to catch her breath, reaching for the water glass on their nightstand.  “Is it always this way?” she asked, flummoxed.

 

Kieran kept her head down, eyes shut tight.  “What way?”

 

Naomi took several slowing breaths.  “Like--it just gets better and better?”

 

Kieran laughed.  “I think there’s a learning curve,” she replied, body humming with amusement.

 

“Smart ass,” Naomi accused, pushing her back against the headboard by leaning back abruptly.

 

“I’m not being entirely facetious,” Kieran defended her answer.  “I think there really is a learning curve.  We’re learning each other’s bodies, and the more we learn, the better we satisfy each other.  By the same token, the learning will hit a plateau, and then it won’t keep getting better.”

 

Naomi threw back her head against Kieran’s shoulder, laughing hard.  “Well, thank you very much for reducing our lovemaking to an equation,” she howled.  “I think I prefer you when you’re tediously romantic,” she chided her lover.

 

“Well, you asked me a serious question, and I gave you the honest answer.  In my experience, it does get better and better with a new partner, and then the improvements begin to diminish incrementally,” she kissed Naomi’s shoulders to illustrate.  “For example, I know you love to have me kiss you here,” she brushed her lips lightly over the curve of Naomi’s neck.  “The first time I found that spot, it really got you turned on.  Now, I kiss it all the time, and it isn’t nearly as arousing.”

 

“Oh, yes it is,” Naomi argued, wrapping her arms over Kieran’s and hugging herself.  “I just control my reaction better,” she retorted.  She listened to the slow, familiar sound of Kieran’s laughter, loving how whole she felt in these moments.  She sighed, suddenly wistful.

 

“I know.  You’re dreading going back to work,” Kieran translated the gusty statement.

 

“Yeah.  I don’t know.  Engineering used to be my passion, but having you in my life has changed everything, and now I just don’t really care about cabling and conduits and gel packs.  What if my heart’s just not in it anymore?”

 

Kieran considered.  “I have a few opinions on where I think your true talents lie,” she said.

 

“Yeah, I’ll bet,” Naomi thought Kieran was making innuendo.

 

“No, I’m serious.  I think you’re an amazing Engineer, but to be honest, I think you’d make a stellar Ship’s Counselor.  You’ve been an observer of psychological behavior for so long, and you’re so thoughtful in your analysis, it just blows my plasma manifold,” she complimented the younger woman.

 

Naomi snorted inelegantly.  “Me?  Doing your job?”

 

“Truly, Na,” Kieran assured her.  “I’ve been so impressed with your interpretation of Seven and Kathryn’s relationship, and your observations about us, about me.  Your insights are worthy of a counselor.”

 

Naomi considered.  It would be a fascinating job.  “But we already have a ship’s counselor.”

 

 “If you were interested in pursuing that avenue, there’s going to eventually be an opening in the post,” Kieran contended.  “Look, I’m going to be a full Commander soon.  Chakotay is going on an extended leave.  I don’t think he is going to want his job back.  If I become acting first officer, we have no counselor.  Even if Chakotay comes back, I give him three years, tops, before he burns out and asks to be reassigned to scrubbing ensuites.  He is ready for a change.  If you had any interest at all, you could start training to replace me.”

 

Naomi grew silent, trying to project herself in the role.  “If I’m not happy once I go back to Engineering, I’ll think about it some more.  The Moms were always advocates of a broad education, but I pushed them to let me specialize.  Maybe I was wrong to do that.”

 

“Maybe you should just quit duty shifts altogether, and go to school full-time again,” Kieran suggested.  “You could start your Academy courses now.  God knows you could test out of every preparatory undergraduate subject on the map.”

 

“That sounds like something I might go for, sooner than trying to take your job,” Naomi snuggled into her.

 

“Tell me,” Kieran murmured.  “If you could do anything, no limits, what would you want to do?” she smoothed Naomi’s strawberry blonde hair down lovingly, enjoying the silken feel of it.

 

“Go home,” Naomi replied without hesitation.  “I want to see the place my mother is from, and I want to go to Grandma Gretchen’s farm, and I want to attend the Academy.”

 

“Do I fit into that plan somewhere?” Kieran nuzzled her ear sweetly.

 

“I wouldn’t do any of those things without you beside me.  How about you?”

 

Kieran had to really think about it.  “God, Na, I’m so happy right now, I don’t want anything else, really.  But home sounds good.  I’d like to look up my old teammates, my friends from Enterprise, and of course see my folks.  I’d like to get a dog,” she decided.

 

“You sound like K-Mom,” Naomi stroked her fingertips over Kieran’s arms.  “She adores dogs.”

 

“I want to show you Earth,” Kieran added.  “There are so many wonderful things to do and see.  If we ever get home, we’ll have enough leave to take a couple of years off, and just travel.  That would be fun.”

 

Naomi sighed. “Well, it’s a nice fantasy, anyway.  It’s probably the first one I’ve had in two months that didn’t involve you naked and writhing.”

 

Kieran’s body was shot through with electricity at the intimate description.  “Do you do that on purpose, just to feel me react, or is it unconscious?”

 

Naomi laughed.  “Oh, honey, it is SO conscious.  I love knowing I can get to you, just with words.”

 

______________

 

Seven of Nine gave her daughter a conspiratorial smile.  “I think this is the appropriate atmosphere,” she surveyed the holodeck program approvingly. “The fire place is a nice touch,” she congratulated herself.  “Is it--what do you and Kieran call it?”

 

Naomi laughed.  “Tediously romantic,” she reminded the former drone.  “I think it qualifies.”

 

They stood in the center of an elaborate dining room, a replica of a restaurant where they had dined on Qian, complete with the hemet stone hearth and floors.  “This place had the best food,” Naomi recalled.  “Kieran raved about it.”

 

Seven hugged Naomi close.  “I want you to promise me that you’ll let me use this program with Kathryn,” she kissed Naomi’s hair.  “She loved this place, as well.”

 

“Sure, Mom,” she agreed.  “Wait ‘til K-Mom gets a look at the jacuzzi in the hotel room,” she winked.  “Just don’t tell her that part is from the resort Kieran and I ran away to.”

 

Seven folded her hands primly, looking around the room once more.  She wanted to ask Naomi questions, but hesitated to invade her privacy.

 

Naomi knew Seven well.  “Just ask, Mom,” she teased, wrapping her arms around Seven’s waist.

 

“Are you happy?” Seven needed to be sure.

 

“Doesn’t it show?  I go to sleep with a smile on my face, and I wake up with a bigger one,” Naomi assured her.

 

“I’m glad,” Seven said warmly.  “And it does show.”

 

“And?” Naomi knew there was more.  She seated herself at one of the tables.

 

Seven also pulled out a chair.  “When Kathryn and I told you about--the birds and the bees,” Seven settled on the most harmless description, “you seemed to find the whole idea repugnant,” Seven reminded her.  “I believe you told Kieran it sounded messy, and disgusting.  Has your opinion improved?” Seven clearly wanted to gossip.

 

“I was an idiot,” Naomi laughed, crossing her long legs.  “Although the messy part is sometimes true,” she affirmed, smirking.

 

“Then Kieran meets your needs?” Seven was hesitant to ask, but truly wanted to make sure Naomi was well cared for.

 

Naomi lay her hand on Seven’s.  “She does,” she replied simply.

 

Seven gave her a discerning look.  “She is--better than adequate?” she pressed.

 

Naomi lowered her voice as if someone else might hear.  “Oh, my God,” she whispered.  “Mom--there are just no words to describe it.  She’s--” Naomi’s face warmed with the subject.  “She’s generous and caring and gentle and passionate and fierce and communicative and adventurous.  I can’t imagine a better partner.  And not just in bed,” Naomi blushed, though she liked bragging about her lover.  “Now I understand why you and K-Mom get so carried away, sometimes,” she added faintly.

 

Seven blushed outright.  “I apologize if we ever made you uncomfortable,” Seven said.  “We tried to put in plenty of sound proofing, and to be discreet.  But as you’ve probably discovered, sometimes, you just can’t—be silent,” Seven chose her words carefully.  She turned her hand over, so that Naomi’s palm lay against hers.  “You know I love you, Naomi.  And I love Kieran.  But if anything ever goes wrong, or you need help, you know you must come to me.  Not that I anticipate any fights or strife, but I am always here for you.  You are my child, and there is no one in this world more precious to me.”

 

“Thanks, Mom,” Naomi squeezed her hand.  “I know your priorities, and I appreciate your support.  Thank you for helping sway Kathryn on this situation.  I couldn’t have done it without you.  I felt really bad that you left her over it.”

 

Seven’s eyes darkened to glacier blue.  “If you had not forgiven her, I would not have, either.  It defies any logic that she would suddenly have no heart for her best friend or her daughter.  I still have my doubts about her, but I am trying to see her good points, and to forget how close she came to making me lose you.”

 

Naomi frowned.  “Seven, you could never, ever lose me.  Even if K-Mom insisted on being an ass, and never accepted Kieran and I, I wouldn’t have closed you out.”

 

Seven’s brow furrowed, a sure sign she was troubled deeply.  “I meant when you tried to effectively commit suicide, after Kieran refused to be with you.”

 

Naomi swallowed hard, remembering that day on Qian, when she decided she couldn’t bear to be without Kieran any longer.  She had stolen the cortical stimulators from the Doctor, and retreated into a permanent hallucination by tweaking the programming of the devices.  She realized for the first time how much the deed had cost her mother.

 

“Oh,” she said, voice retreating regretfully.  “I never meant it to hurt you, Mom.  I just couldn’t stand knowing she was in love with me, but refused to be with me.  It was easier before I knew how she felt, though not much.”

 

Seven looked into her eyes, trying to understand.  “I owe you an apology.  I should have tried to help you, even if it meant a knockdown drag-out fight with your mother.  You asked and I said I couldn’t help.  That was wrong.  Please forgive me,” Seven bowed her head in shame.

 

“That’s slush deuterium in the containment cells, Mom, in the past.  There’s nothing to forgive,” Naomi assured her, laying her free hand over Seven’s.  “Do you think K-Mom will ever really forgive Kieran?  They used to be so close, and now, K-Mom is just going through the motions.  I know she feels betrayed.”

 

Seven agreed.  “She does.  And it may be many years, but I think, once Kathryn sees that you two can be happy together over the long haul, she will truly forgive Kieran.”  Seven sighed, wishing her wife could be more open-minded.  “Is Kieran terribly distraught?”

 

“Well, she tries not to show it, but I can see how hurt she is.  She misses Kathryn’s friendship.  But you’ve been so good to both of us, and I know that helps.”

“I’m glad for that,” she nodded.  She looked at the chronometer. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but I must get back to Astrometrics,” Seven advised.  “Will you let me know how it goes tonight?”

 

Naomi grinned.  “If it goes the way I plan, you won’t hear a word from me until very late tomorrow afternoon,” she waggled her eyebrows.

 

________________________

 

Naomi reserved the holodeck for she and Kieran, not allowing anyone else to share the program, since the crew had been so rejecting of the couple.  When the chips were down, only her immediate family and the alien crewmembers had truly been supportive.  Neelix had been especially vocal in his support, because he had so loved Kes, who, like Naomi, had also matured faster than most species.  He well understood what Naomi had gone through.

 

Kieran wore a long sleeved black silk blouse and matching black slacks for the special date Naomi had planned.  She knew that Seven and Naomi had been working on the holodeck program quite awhile, and she was excited for the surprise.  She checked herself in the mirror, gratified to find no evidence of having been assaulted so recently.  She was nearly done with her therapy, and the Doctor had removed the last of the scars.

 

Naomi dressed herself after Kieran was ready.  Kieran looked her up and down appreciatively. She wore her hair pulled back softly in a clip, shoulders bare, and her dress, a china blue satin, framed her naked shoulders.  The bodice clung to her breasts and the delicate waist was in pleated layers gathered at the sternum, sweeping forward to accentuate the fine curves of her body.  The skirt was cut up to the thigh, revealing Naomi’s incredible legs, and Kieran’s mouth was suddenly dry.

 

“I never get over how beautiful you are, love,” Kieran held out her hand to the sensuous young woman.  “Are you ready?”

 

Naomi grabbed her clutch purse and smiled.  “Ready.”

 

They walked hand-in-hand to the holodeck, ignoring the glares and gaping stares of the crew passing them in the corridor.  Insults muttered beneath the breath were overlooked and flouted.  Kieran was committed to making Naomi’s night a happy one.  She got through her days that way, dedicating herself to the relationship wholly, making all else secondary.  She even had the alacrity to kiss Naomi in the turbo lift, not giving a damn what Michael Carter or Claren James thought about it.  Michael and Claren stood stock still, trying to avert their eyes from Kieran and Naomi. 

 

Claren finally smiled at them, trying to be polite.  “You look nice,” she said, keeping any disapproval from her voice. 

 

“Thanks,” they said in unison, not even looking at her.

 

“That’s a pretty necklace.  Did you get it on Qian?” she asked Naomi, looking at the hemet stone.

 

“Kieran got it for me there,” Naomi smiled at Claren.  “The night of the banquet.”

 

“It looks good on you, Naomi,” Claren complimented.  “Here’s my stop.  Have a wonderful evening,” she said sincerely.

 

“That was nice of her,” Naomi commented, ignoring Michael Carter.  I can’t believe Kieran used to date her. I wonder if Claren’s sorry, now, that she let Kieran get away?  I would be sorry.  She should be sorry.  Naomi smiled inwardly.  Kieran never even looked at Claren.  Maybe she really is as caught up in us as she says she is.

 

“She knows I tried to help Harry out after Restid Three,” Kieran explained quietly.  “Maybe she’s in our corner because of him.  He probably talked to her about us.”

 

The turbo lift doors opened again, and Naomi led Kieran to the holodeck, punching in the access code.  As soon as the doors whirred open, a broad smile spread across Kieran’s angular face.  “I love it,” she announced, grabbing her beloved and hugging her.  “It’s just like on Qian.  That was so thoughtful of you.”

 

Naomi smiled.  “Seven helped me program the dinner menu with your favorites,” she said, slipping her arm through Kieran’s.  “Our table is by the fireplace.”

 

Kieran escorted her to their seats, pulling out Naomi’s chair so she could rein in her long dress.

 

“Seven’s right,” Naomi complimented her.  “You do have impeccable manners.”

 

“You deserve to be treated like a lady,” Kieran said simply, seating herself.  “With respect and consideration.”

 

Naomi leaned across the table with a feral smile playing on her lips.  “I like it when you treat me like a woman,” she said under her breath.  “But a lady will do, in public.”

 

Kieran pulse quickened perceptibly.  “You unnerve me when you come on to me like that,” she chuckled.  “But don’t stop,” she requested, grinning back at her lover.

 

When dinner came, they fed each other as was their custom now, intimately sharing from each other’s plates, the meal peppered with thinly veiled excuses to touch each other, solicitous assistance with napkins, drinking absently from the same glass, their communion with one another so seamless that they lost their boundaries entirely.  Naomi found it enthralling, and she attributed the ritual to Kieran.  It was a pattern of eating that began back when Naomi was so ill, the only way Kieran could get her to eat was to engage her so completely, emotionally and intellectually, that the Ktarian forgot she was eating at all.  The ritual had evolved into a form of intimacy for the young couple and it was another manner in which their interaction flowed so faultlessly, everything blended together.  Dessert was another event, entirely, with gooey fingers kissed and licked, lips cleansed by more kisses, all amid laughter and smiles and fond embraces. 

 

Kieran ordered coffee to cut the sweet of the dessert they had shared, and Naomi ordered hot tea.  “This has been wonderful,” Kieran complimented her beloved.  “What a great program.”

 

“Thanks, I’m glad you like it,” Naomi sipped her tea, looking over the cup with long, elegant lashes.  “What?” she asked, seeing that Kieran was staring.

 

“Just the usual,” Kieran replied, smiling.  “You’re lovely, and I can’t take my eyes off of you.”

 

“I’ve been thinking about what you said awhile back, about being a bit worried I’ll get tired of you, or that the novelty will wear off.  I’ve decided there’s an easy way to prevent that from ever happening.”

 

Kieran was delighted.  “Oh?”

 

“Yes,” Naomi leaned over the table eagerly.  “We just have to keep throwing new experiences into the mix.  New places, new activities, new holodeck programs, new sexual positions--and when we run out of ideas, we go back and repeat our favorites,” she enthused.  “By the time we get through our favorites, we’ll have new ideas again.”

 

“That sounds like a good plan.  We should brainstorm.  Especially with the sexual positions,” Kieran waggled her eyebrows, trying to approximate a leer as she leaned onto the almost empty table with both elbows. 

 

“Already got it covered,” Naomi giggled girlishly.  “Kama Sutra.”

 

Kieran laughed out loud.  “You’re priceless, my love,” she murmured happily.

 

“Kieran,” Naomi said seriously, “there is something that’s been bothering me.  Can we talk about it?” her cheeks grew rosier as she focused her attention on the gravity of the topic.

 

Kieran picked up and put down her coffee, suddenly uninterested in finishing it.  “Of course.  What is it?” she asked, already feeling gnawing dread in the pit of her gut, heart suddenly racing, soul and mind preparing for the worst. 

 

“A couple of weeks ago, when we had our first fight, you said something that I can’t seem to let go of,” Naomi began.  “You said you were scared by the fight, and that you didn’t want to lose me,” she repeated Kieran’s words.  “You and I shared, on Qian, our whole vision of the future we want together.  How could you think you might lose me?” she asked softly, features even more beautiful in the dim light than Kieran could fathom.

 

Kieran considered a long while.  “Things change, honey.  People change.  I don’t mean to drag you down memory lane, but believe me, when I married B’Elanna, I never thought it would end at all, let alone as badly as it did.  We never fought, not really, but the second we started, that was like the death spiral that signaled the end of the marriage.  I have a pattern of losing women as soon as a fight crops up.  If you and I were fighting, my immediate fear was that you’d leave.  I know that’s not fair, but that’s where the reaction came from.”

 

Naomi toyed with her teacup.  “First, you never have to apologize for talking about your past.  In fact, I think there are probably a lot of things you need to talk about, because you’re still unsettled about the way the relationship with B’Elanna ended so abruptly.  I’d like to think we can talk through anything you need to talk about.  I don’t feel jealous, and I’m not threatened.  I’ve seen the content of your heart, courtesy of Sieken.  I know where I stand with you,” she assured her confidently. 

 

“I suspect, too,” she continued, thinking aloud, “you and B’Elanna never had to really deal with each other on the day-to-day mundane things. The first couple of years of your relationship, you were always going from one crisis to the next—your injuries on Tampa, Katie’s conception and B’Elanna’s difficult pregnancy, your spatial displacement, B’Elanna getting stranded with Seven--there was always some immediate threat to the relationship that kept your energy focused acutely on its survival.  But as soon as things became routine, they fell apart.  B’Elanna is great with a crisis, but not so great with monotony,” she summed it up accurately. “That’s why she’s a terrific Engineer, because everything that goes wrong constitutes a crisis of epic proportions,” she smiled with amusement.   “I’m not like that.  I don’t have to have the fuel of a constant struggle to make me realize how much I love and need you.”

 

Kieran listened carefully.  “I think, with you, my insecurity is more about your losing interest because the conquest has been made.  It’s easy to love someone when you’re trying to win them over, but now that you’ve won me over, I worry you’ll want the excitement of the chase all over again,” she tried to tell it honestly.  “You waited for so long to be with me, after all,” she pointed out.  “There’s a lot more excitement in the ‘getting’ than there is in the ‘having’, as you just illustrated with B’Elanna and I.”

 

Naomi laughed lightly, shifting in her chair.  “You think chasing you was exciting?” her eyes sparkled playfully. “It was excruciating, because I never believed I could even come close to catching you.  Kieran, it was never about the chase itself,” she assured her partner.  “It was about the goal, which was, and always will be, to be with you, in a healthy relationship, every day, whether it’s a really dull Tuesday with nothing to do but clean conduits or it’s the most exciting Friday with a first contact on the horizon.  I had such a calm, stable existence when my mother was alive, and ever since she died, all I’ve wanted was that steady influence again. 

 

“Kathryn and Seven love me with all their hearts, but they have their own turmoil to deal with.  Kathryn is always riddled with guilt and poor self-esteem, and Seven is just trying to regain her humanity.  I always gravitated toward you because you know who you are, and you know what you want,” Naomi accentuated with her hands.  She peered intently at Kieran, voice filled with approbation.  “You were never afraid to put a solid, permanent label on yourself when it came to your sexual identity, and I admired that conviction you felt.  You told yourself, when Noah fell in love with you, that you were being closed minded for rejecting him, but in fact, you were being brutally honest about who you are.  I’m so drawn to that honesty,” she said respectfully, touching Kieran’s hand.  “You don’t have it in you to be cruel or callous, even at your very lowest point.  Even when B’Elanna physically attacked you, you didn’t retaliate beyond what it took to defend yourself.  I so admire that,” she breathed.

 

Kieran flushed, briefly capturing Naomi’s hand.  “Don’t give me too much credit, Na.  I wanted to hurt her.”

 

“But you didn’t,” Naomi replied immediately, springing to Kieran’s defense.  “Seven told me what happened, and I just fell even deeper in love with you for it.  B’Elanna did her level best to provoke you to draw blood, but you resisted the urge.  And instead of being vindictive, you gave her back equal custody of Katie.  I’m not sure I could have been so reasonable, after what she did with Tom and Tristan.”  Naomi paused, sipping her tea.  “I guess what I’m trying, rather ineloquently to say, is that I know the content of your character, and that is what I fell in love with, not some illusion, not  ‘the chase’ .  And when Sieken joined us on Qian, I knew you at the very root of your being, and confirmed everything I believed about that character.”

 

Kieran was speechless.  “You flatter me,” she offered faintly.  “But I thank you, all the same.”

 

“This is not flattery, Kieran,” Naomi said pointedly.  “This is the reality of this situation, for me.  I know you’ve had bad experiences with relationships, and I know it is hard to believe that this time, it will be different, but if you think about it, love, it already is different.”

 

Kieran nodded.  “It does feel different.  Better than anything I’ve ever had with anyone.  You are a constant source of surprise, my love.”

 

“Second,” Naomi continued,  “I can’t imagine anything that would change my intentions toward you or our future.  And I don’t want you to think, every time we disagree or have a heated discussion, that that means I’m packing up and moving out in the next breath.  You told me once that if I didn’t want to lose you, I should never turn my back. I want you to know I never will turn my back, Kieran,” she said with conviction, “and I’ll never be afraid of our future.  I want you to be as secure in it as I am,” she urged.  “I love you now, and I’ll love you always,” Naomi promised, kissing her. 

 

She unfastened her clutch purse, searching inside it momentarily.  She retrieved and opened the small box that held the rings she had purchased on Qian months before, laying it on the table and taking Kieran’s hand.  She removed the larger ring, holding it up.  The pale green hemet stone formed a solid band through the rich, polished gold.

 

“The stone in this ring is set into the band, as perfectly and as permanently as you are set in my soul,” Naomi told her.  “I will never leave you, never tire of you, and never, ever love anyone this way but you, for as long as I live.” She swallowed hard, drawing a shaking breath.  “Kieran?” she asked, voice barely a whisper, “Will you marry me?” 

 

Kieran’s eyes filled with tears.  It was the most eloquent proposal she could have envisioned.  She took Naomi’s chin between her thumb and forefinger, kissing her with purpose.  “Yes, I will,” she agreed.

 

They kissed for long, sweet moments, hearts full and eyes damp.  When at last they parted, Naomi solemnly placed the larger of the two rings on Kieran’s finger. 

 

Kieran smiled, kissing Naomi again.  “It’s beautiful, just like you,” she studied the ring momentarily. She reached into her pants pocket, pulling out a similar box, opening it.  Inside were two thick gold bands, encrusted with asymmetrical chips of hemet stone.  Kieran laughed.  “I was going to ask you, tonight, too,” she leaned her head on her hand.  She reached into the tiny box Naomi had brought, removing the solidly constructed band that was Naomi’s size.  She grinned and slipped it onto Naomi’s delicate finger.  “Since you bought yourself an engagement ring, I guess I didn’t need to buy you one,” she chuckled.

 

Naomi was beside herself.  “You were really going to ask me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“What were you going to say?” she was breathless.

 

“Nothing as eloquent as what you said, I’m sure,” Kieran replied.  “Though I think it’s uncanny that we both intended to propose on the same night, and we both had rings made on Qian.  Seven told me she thinks you’re clairvoyant.  I’m starting to believe it.” 

 

Seeing the hunger in Naomi’s eyes for a reply to her question, Kieran tempered her humor.  “I was going to tell you that your courage and your unfailing love complete me, Naomi,” she said softly.  “I was going to tell you that I want to be with you, no matter the professional and emotional cost, for the rest of my life, and that I’d gladly endure all the disapproval in the universe if only to wake up beside you, to look in your amazing eyes, to see myself reflected there more perfectly than I could ever truly be.”

 

Naomi kissed her lingeringly.  “That was pretty eloquent, too,” she decided.  “I think, since I asked first, we should wear the inlaid bands as engagement rings, and when we get married, add the thicker ones.”

 

“I was thinking the same thing,” Kieran agreed. 

 

Naomi took her hands across the table, twining their fingers together watching the rings on their hands.  “When did you have yours made?” she asked, eyes twinkling.

 

“While you and I were separated on Qian, when I was filling out the asylum paperwork.  One afternoon, Sieken and I went into the vendor’s market for lunch, and I had the rings made then.”

 

“Wow,” Naomi breathed.  “Before you’d even slept with me, you knew you wanted to marry me?  Risky, Counselor,” she teased.  “You might have been betting on potentially inferior goods,” she added.

 

“I knew you were the one, Na, and as for your sexual abilities, I’m confident in my aptitude for teaching, when all else fails.  Luckily for me, you never needed that first bit of guidance or instruction.  You were a natural, from the start,” she waggled her eyebrows playfully.  “When did you have these made?” she held up her hand, indicating her engagement ring.

 

“Remember when I sent you to buy wine in the vendor’s market, and I told you I was going to the jeweler’s stall?”

 

Kieran nodded.

 

“That’s when.  I had him make your necklace, and the wedding rings, at the same time.  I snuck out to get them while you were in the shower,” she admitted.

 

“It continuously confounds me, how much we are in tune,” Kieran marveled at it.

 

“Then you must know what I’m thinking right now,” she murmured, inches from Kieran’s face.

 

“Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea.  You’re thinking you’d like to have your mouth pressed to my more intimate places, I bet,” she flirted.

 

“Actually,” Naomi replied, “I was thinking I’d like for you to be making love to me,” she touched Kieran’s face gently.

 

Kieran was transfixed.  “I don’t think you’ve ever asked me before.”

 

“I’ve never had the chance. You’re always offering before I can ask,” she teased.  Then more seriously, she said “Will you take me to our room and make love to me, please?”

 

Kieran wasn’t sure how she got from her chair to her feet, but suddenly she was wrapping her arm around Naomi.  “I will,” she agreed. 

 

 

Kieran gathered Naomi into her arms, carrying her to their room.  She stopped just inside the doorway, smiling broadly.  “How did you do this?” she marveled at it.

 

Naomi laughed, surveying the program of the resort they’d stayed at on Qian.  “From memory,” she supplied.  “Seven helped a lot, too.  It’s a good likeness, isn’t it?” she kissed Kieran’s ear, breathing softly into it.

 

“Amazing.  I think it’s the exact image of it,” she kept Naomi in her embrace, but set her down on the oversized bed.  “Is the tub as big as the one on Qian?” she peered into her lover’s eyes.

 

“Just as big,” Naomi promised, taking Kieran’s face in her hands and kissing her, a long, sensual embrace that was more invitation than affection.

 

Kieran pressed her down into the pillows, kissing her ardently, balancing her weight over Naomi’s smaller frame.  She slid her hand beneath the slit in Naomi’s gown and up the length of her thigh, caressing bare flesh and sighing into their kiss.  “Your legs drive me crazy,” she advised her lover.  “Especially in this dress.” Kieran filled her senses with the vision of her lover, red-gold hair scattered over the pillowcase, body elegant and welcoming and hers for the taking.  She recaptured Naomi’s lips, parting them with her tongue, the longing evident in her manner.

 

Naomi suckled the tip of Kieran’s tongue, caressing it with her own, hands moving over the slick fabric of her slacks, cupping her behind.  “Your ass drives me crazy,” she admitted, squeezing it, pressing Kieran against her firmly.  “But not as much as that,” she gasped as Kieran’s fingers found her through the thin film of her panties.  The sensation was indirect enough to be teasing, but direct enough to inflame her need, and she kissed Kieran fiercely, groaning.

 

Kieran smiled faintly at the sounds of Naomi’s arousal, loving her for her willingness, for her openness.  She could feel the beginnings of wetness, even through the cloth, and her fingers strayed beneath it for the briefest moment, making Naomi clutch at her body.  She loved to seduce her this way, to tease and hint without urgency, until Naomi was begging for more.  She withdrew her hand, moving them onto their sides so she could unzip the fastening of her lover’s china blue dress, opening the fabric and smoothing her hands over pale flesh and beneath the confines of the gown.

 

“Your skin is incredible,” she murmured, hands soft and warm over the planes of Naomi’s back.

 

Naomi gazed into deep brown eyes, nimble fingers working to free the buttons of Kieran’s blouse as she kissed her tenderly, tasting her lips repeatedly with the tip of her tongue.  The gesture was so suggestive, it never failed to intensify Kieran’s breathing, and Naomi loved having that kind of power over the Counselor.  She quickly forgot to revel in it as Kieran’s fingernails scratched lightly over her shoulder blades, the sharpness of it welling in Naomi’s chest.  Kieran’s shirt fell open, and Naomi followed the slope of her throat to her chest, kissing the sensitive flesh where her mating scars used to be.  Like an imprint in the sand, Kieran’s throat was still as responsive as it was when the ritual markings were there, and Naomi always knew exactly where to touch her to make her body recall the desire.  As she fluttered her tongue over the healed area, she undid the buttons at Kieran’s wrists, freeing her arms from the sleeves of her blouse, and sliding the garment away.

 

“I love when you wear these,” she murmured, palms slipping beneath the camisole Kieran favored over an undergarment.  She found Kieran’s nipples, already erect, as she knew they would be.

 

Kieran bit her lip, eyes closing against the sensation of Naomi’s fingertips, rubbing her distended nubs.  “Na,” she moaned, lips pressed against the Ktarian’s forehead.

 

Kieran’s scratches became delicate fingertips tracing the angles of bone and sinew, brushing the bodice of Naomi’s dress down, revealing her full, pink-tipped breasts.  Naomi bit Kieran’s shoulder to control her reaction to the caress skating over her nipples, a beguiling sound escaping her throat, nearly masked by the sharp intake of Kieran’s breath from the fierceness of teeth against muscle.  Naomi kissed the injured flesh apologetically, soothing the redness away with gentle lips and a soft tongue, only to find herself abruptly on her back and her breasts in Kieran’s hands and mouth, succumbing to eager kisses and nips.

 

Kieran ravished her mercilessly in response to being bitten, teasing and fondling, leaving the Ktarian gasping and moaning beneath a zealous tongue and careful nibbles, her fingers grasping the short strands of Kieran’s hair and tugging it inadvertently.  Naomi’s dress ended up around her delicate ankles, and she kicked it off, along with her shoes.  Kieran touched her through her panties again, faintly caressing the outline of her labia, all the while suckling an engorged nipple.  Naomi’s arousal was no longer just an intimation of wetness, the fluid seeping through fabric and coating Kieran’s fingers, and the feeling of it made Kieran whimper.

 

Naomi tugged at Kieran’s tresses, pulling them face-to-face, kissing her deeply, frantically.  “You like how wet I get?” she gasped into Kieran’s mouth, drawing one knee up to allow her lover better freedom of motion between her legs.  She tore her mouth away, biting Kieran’s earlobe and talking softly to her.  “You do that to me, you make me that wet,” she whispered, knowing it made Kieran delirious, “because I want you so much.  Kieran,” she panted, “please, touch me,” she urged.

 

Kieran kissed her passionately, hand sliding beneath her underwear, finding her opening, circling it with one fingertip, pressing gently, but not penetrating.  Naomi lifted her hips, trying to draw Kieran’s finger into her, but Kieran only smiled and retreated.

 

Naomi gave her a wicked grin, heaving them both over, so that she was above Kieran.  “You know you’re much more susceptible to teasing than I am,” she warned, dropping her face to Kieran’s breasts.

 

Kieran arched into her mouth, crying out.  Purposeful lips tugged at her nipples, each in turn, while Naomi unfastened her pants and shoved them down to her thighs.  Kieran’s hand was still in Naomi’s underwear, and she thrust one finger into her lover’s opening, distracting her for the moment.  “Do you still want me to touch you?” she taunted the younger woman, whose mouth had fallen away from the aching nipple she had so recently claimed.

 

Naomi gasped as Kieran’s finger slipped free, stroking her clitoris gently.  “You know I do,” she admitted, suspended on her arms, forgetting her agenda.  “God, Kieran,” she groaned, rocking against her fingers, the slick heat building immediately.

 

“Take these off,” she tugged at the fabric, letting Naomi help remove it.  “Come here,” she growled, moving Naomi over her face, breathing the scent of her need, steadying her by grasping her behind.  She filled her mouth with the flesh of Naomi’s lips, opening her with an inquisitive tongue, finding her clitoris ripe and exposed. 

 

Naomi watched Kieran loving her, hands anchored on the headboard, thighs trembling, body rigid as each flick of Kieran’s tongue pushed her closer to that edge.  Warmth and wetness and soft, insistent caresses drove her to a delicious frenzy, the peak threatening to break, then subsiding, as if Kieran knew precisely how close she was, how to prolong it, how to hold it at bay.  She felt the pleasure building, the intensity, and her words poured out in nonsensical gasps and whimpers, encouraging her lover’s passion, the incessant fluttering of tongue pushing her to the breaking point, her cries as rapturous as the sensation coursing through her. 

 

Relentless, Kieran wrung the climax from her body, until she collapsed against the wall, pressing her fingers against Kieran’s forehead.  “No more,” she panted, letting Kieran slide from beneath her.

 

“I love you,” Kieran whispered, drawing her down into sheltering arms, clinging to her, kissing her gently.

 

Naomi relaxed completely into her embrace, returning the kiss avidly, heart welling with emotion. “Don’t let go,” she touched Kieran’s face, gazing into her eyes, completely open.  “I need you,” she kissed her insistently.

 

“Honey,” Kieran smiled assurance, “you have me,” she chuckled, kissing her again.

 

“No,” Naomi’s gaze was penetrating.  “I need you,” she reiterated, tugging at Kieran’s slacks.  “I need to feel you against me,” she clarified, helping her lover remove her remaining clothing.

 

Her touch was fleeting, delicate, her lips soft over Kieran’s face and throat, and as it always was with them, Kieran was so close from the excitement of touching her lover, her own release was never long away, especially if Naomi had been particularly verbal about their lovemaking.  She knew if she wanted Kieran’s anticipation to be drawn out, she had to make love to her first, or the need became too much to resist. 

 

Kieran sighed beneath her, enthralled by the way Naomi’s body felt, by her full curves and her soft buttocks, bathed in the silken feeling of the Ktarian’s skin and the cascade of her fragrant hair.  “God, you feel so good,” she breathed, holding Naomi to her, cradling perfection against her own angular frame.

 

Naomi nuzzled her cheek, breathing lightly in her ear.  “I want to make love to you, Kieran.  I want my fingers inside you, and your tongue in my mouth,” she whispered.  “I want to hear you moaning my name, and to feel your labia sliding over my lips.”  Her words took Kieran’s composure, took her breath, made her throat close.  True to her word, she eased her fingers into Kieran’s opening, feeling the flexion of walls closing around her intimately.  She kissed her deeply, drawing Kieran’s tongue into her mouth to taste and tease it.  She eased her fingers back out and brought them to her lips, glistening and scented, the fluid mingling with their kiss.  She took Kieran’s hand and pressed it between her own legs, still bathed in her desire, then brought Kieran’s fingers into her mouth, sucking them, running her tongue over them suggestively.

 

Kieran was entranced, breathing raggedly, watching her fingers disappear into Naomi’s mouth.  Unconsciously, her lips formed an ‘o’ as Naomi fluttered her tongue over Kieran’s fingertips.  “God, Na,” she swallowed hard, nearly speechless.

 

Naomi kissed her then, letting both of their flavors blend together in their embrace, exploring the soft flesh of Kieran’s mouth, feeling as if her chest would burst.  She reluctantly pulled away, only to flick her tongue against the shell of Kieran’s ear, telling her “I’m going to make you come, now.”

 

Kieran groaned simply from the directness of her words, then from the overwhelming heat of Naomi’s mouth enveloping her as the Ktarian knelt beside her, body parallel to Kieran’s, toes pointing toward the Counselor’s head.  “Naomi,” she gasped, “oh, my God,” she clutched at the bed, letting the Ktarian spread her legs wider, gentle hands easing her thighs open, lips sweet and sensuous against her flesh.  She started to shiver as the need deepened, wrapping her arms around Naomi’s torso, holding firmly to her as her climax began, emanating from the subtle stroking of Naomi’s tongue against her clitoris and extending to her solar plexus, then bursting into her consciousness, flooding her mind, her being.  “Naomi, yes,” she cried out, hips lifting as the passion crested, her need breaking over her in a thundering wave.  She held so tightly to her lover, her strength was nearly suffocating, but her energy drained away before it could become painful for Naomi.

 

The smaller woman crawled alongside her fiancée, smiling and taking her into comforting arms.  “I’ve got you, now,” she promised.  “I love you, Kieran.”

 

Kieran rested in Naomi’s embrace, utterly spent.  Her hand splayed against Naomi’s chest, and the light caught her engagement ring for a split-second.  She smiled, looking at the gold band with the inlaid hemet stone.  “I love you, too,” she said happily.  “For always.”

 

 

________________

 

Captain Kathryn Janeway sat at the head of the table, filling glasses and making plans.  “It’s the perfect opportunity to make a public statement of my support,” she was saying to Kieran and Naomi.  “Seven and I were just saying yesterday how fortuitous it would be if the two of you made your commitment more permanent, so we could show this crew that we are behind you both, one hundred percent.”

 

Seven smiled warmly, hand over Kieran’s.  “I’m so glad you said yes,” she laughed.  “Now you’re going to be my daughter, even though you’re older than me,” she was mightily amused.

 

Kieran smirked.  “Two months hardly makes me older than you, your Borgness.”

 

“We were thinking a huge party,” Kathryn enthused, appealing to Naomi first.  “Champagne, cake, dancing--a grand celebration.  Would you let us do that?”

 

Naomi smiled uncomfortably.  “I don’t know, Mom,” she hedged.  “Is anyone truly going to be happy about this engagement, other than the four of us?”

 

Seven chimed in.  “I think Kathryn’s idea is splendid, and you know Neelix will help plan it.  He will be so happy for you both.  Most of the Senior Officers will be able to celebrate sincerely, too,” she encouraged the young couple.

 

Kathryn rubbed her hands together.  “We’ll hold the Captain’s ball a little early, this year, and I’ll announce it then--combine the two events into one.  I really think that once the crew sees I welcome this marriage, a lot of the negative undercurrent on the ship will dissipate.”

 

Kieran smirked.  “You realize, Kat, we didn’t get engaged as a publicity stunt, or to make your job easier,” she said sarcastically.  As happy as Kathryn acted, Kieran just felt, on a deeper level, that the Captain was not sincere.

 

Kathryn flinched.  Things that she used to find amusing about Kieran had begun to grate on her, and she had to consciously overlook the jab.  She swallowed her irritation.  “Forgive me if I misplaced the emphasis on the significance of the occasion,” she replied humbly.  “Of course, the only thing that really matters is that you and Naomi have made this decision together.  Congratulations,” she raised her glass.

 

Naomi had reconsidered.  “I don’t suppose public opinion could be any worse, given that the crew tried to beat Kieran to death already, so why not try to do some creative spin doctoring?  It can’t hurt, might help.”  She turned to her fiancée.  “What do you think?” she took Kieran’s hand.

 

Kieran smiled, squeezing Naomi’s fingers firmly in her own.  “I think as long as you’ve agreed to spend your life with me, the world can turn upside down in the sky, for all I care.  If you want a big engagement party, sweetie, then by all means, bring it on.”

 

Kathryn’s esteem of the Counselor increased slightly.  “That’s the answer I wanted to hear.  It’s the answer I always want to hear, Kato--whatever makes Naomi happy.  Keep saying that, and I’ll never say a word against you or this relationship.”

 

“That is the one solemn promise I can make you, Kathryn,” Kieran said sincerely.  “I will always put your daughter’s happiness first.  I’ll do my best to be what she needs in a partner, and to be worthy of her, though I know that’s a tall order,” she was gazing into Naomi’s eyes.

 

Naomi was mesmerized by Kieran’s expression, watching deep brown eyes soften with love, wanting to be alone with her in that moment.

 

Seven watched the betrothed pair fondly, eyes filling.  She remembered when her love for Kathryn had been that essential, had filled every molecule of her being, and the expansive joy in Naomi’s face moved the former Borg to tears.  She pressed her hand to her mouth, trying to regain her composure.

 

“Mom,” Naomi touched Seven’s arm, “it’s okay,” she moved to hug her.  “Please don’t cry,” she kissed Seven’s cheek.

 

Seven sniffed loudly.  “I cannot help it,” she murmured, tears beginning to drip slowly down her face.  “I love you both,” she assured her daughter.  “Your happiness fills my heart,” she whispered to Naomi only.

 

“Are you sure that’s all?” Naomi asked, concerned.

 

Seven nodded, though it was a lie.  “Sit back down.  Let’s go over the plans,” she encouraged her tall, lovely daughter.

 

Naomi acquiesced, but she sensed something more than just shared happiness behind Seven’s tears.

 

___________________

 

Captain Kathryn Janeway sighed despondently as she finished the last of the champagne from the impromptu celebration of her daughter's engagement.  Her spouse, Seven of Nine, settled at her feet in the floor, removing her shoes and administering massage.

 

“You are troubled, my Kathryn,” she said softly.

 

“Naomi is too young to be engaged,” Kathryn replied.  “Why are they rushing this?  I don't understand it, Seven.  They live together.  We're forty years from home. What advantage do they gain from this step?”

 

“I thought you were happy about it, glad for the chance to make a public statement of support,” she pointed out.

 

“I told them that, and there are benefits for the ship, I suppose, but I can't help feeling it's too soon.  They've been together less than a year,” she complained.

 

“Kieran has never been able to deny Naomi anything,” Seven noted.  “Naomi was the one who proposed,” she said reasonably, working the tension from her spouse’s feet.

 

Kathryn scowled mildly.  “Kieran is weak, if she never says no.”

 

Seven cocked her head to one side, scrutinizing her wife. “What you consider weakness seems to me to be wisdom, and a very attractive strength in Kieran. I think it's sweet that she cares so much what's important to Naomi.  After all, she promised us she would put Naomi's happiness before her own. I think if she had been more careful to do the same with B'Elanna, their marriage might not have ended.”  Seven suppressed a sigh.  Kieran looked at Naomi with such adoration, such devotion. Seven could not recall a time when Kathryn ever looked at her that way.

 

Kathryn studied Seven's wistful expression, startled by it.  “You wish I'd do the same with you,” she stated.

 

Seven swallowed her hurt.  “Who wouldn't wish to be loved so well? Kieran has always been committed to Naomi's well-being, since the day they met,” glacier blue eyes showed her deeper longings.

 

“I know you think I don't put your interests above my own, but in fact, I do.  The problem is that the interests of the ship are above everyone's individual interests.  I'm sorry, Seven, but that's part of being married to a commanding officer,” she defended herself.  “And I disagree that Kieran puts Naomi's well-being first, because this engagement is not in Naomi's best interest. Kieran is not doing what's best for Naomi, she's doing what she thinks will make her happy,” Kathryn contended.

 

“What is in Naomi's best interest is for her to decide, not Kieran. The Counselor regards Naomi as an equal. Now that they are intimate, it would be inappropriate for Kieran to make unilateral judgments about what is best for Naomi, because she believes Naomi is an adult, and her equal in the partnership,” Seven argued. “While I agree Naomi is young, I cannot imagine a time when there will be another individual on this ship better suited to her than Kieran. I can't think of anyone I admire or respect more than her, or that I would choose over her for our daughter,” she put in.

 

Kathryn gave her a wary look.  “Are you sold on Kieran for Naomi, or more for yourself?” she asked pointedly.

 

Seven's eyebrow arched precipitously.  “For myself?  I do not understand.”

 

Kathryn's facial muscles twitched along her jawline. “You envy Naomi,” she said flatly.  “For being with Kieran.”

 

“I have already told you that I envy the closeness, the vulnerability they share,” Seven admitted.

 

“I think there's a good deal more you envy,” Kathryn accused, her eyes grown steely and stormy.

 

Seven fixed her with a grim look.  “What more is there?”

 

Kathryn cleared her throat.  “You wish you were Kieran's lover,” she stated.

 

“That is absurd,” Seven protested, her face flushing.  “She is about to be my daughter-in-law.”

 

Kathryn shook her head.  “It's not absurd at all,” she retorted.  “I've seen the way you look at her.  And the way she looks at you, when she thinks I'm not paying attention.”

 

“The way she looks at me?” Seven ventured.  “Exactly how does she look at me, in your estimation?” she asked meekly.

 

“With keen interest and flagrant attraction,” Kathryn said darkly. “Both of which are inappropriate.”

 

Seven's expression was unreadable.  “Do you really believe that?” she demanded.

 

Kathryn nodded. “You wanted honesty, and I'm telling you what I see, Seven.  Ever since Naomi got sick, Kieran's looked at you that way.”

 

“Odd, because I don't see that at all from her.  I only see her love for Naomi,” she replied, sounding  sad when she had not intended to.

 

“That's all you should see,” Kathryn objected to Seven's tone.  “Clearly, you wish you saw more,” she launched herself off the couch, taking her glass to be recycled.

 

Seven was too intrigued at the possibility that Kieran might feel what Kathryn suggested to bother to refute Kathryn’s accusation.  She sat in the floor, contemplating whether she believed Kathryn’s assessment, suddenly appalled at what she was feeling: hope.   She hoped Kieran did look at her with keen interest and flagrant attraction.  The blush that crept into her cheeks exposed her, and Kathryn stood in the kitchen archway, studying her wife’s discomfiture.

 

“You aren’t even going to deny it?” Kathryn demanded.

 

“Which part?” Seven shot back.  “And would it have any impact whatsoever on your opinion?”

 

“Not likely,” Kathryn growled.  “How unfortunate for you both that Naomi stands between you.”

 

Seven looked up at her wife.  “I have never broken our wedding vows, not in action or spirit.  I do not wish Kieran were my lover.  I do wish you would accept that she is Naomi’s lover, and that they are happy.  And whatever emotion you think you see coming from Kieran to me, I assure you, is purely platonic.  Kieran and Naomi are wildly in love, and passionately drawn to one another.  They are sexually fulfilled in each other, and need no one outside their union.”

 

“How would you know about their sexual fulfillment?” Kathryn smirked with distaste.

 

“I asked.  It was important to me to know that our child is happy, and that Kieran is not merely an adequate partner, but a fulfilling one for Naomi.  Naomi told me—”

 

Kathryn held up her hand.  “Spare me the details. I have absolutely no desire to hear about their sex life.”  She willed away the repellant images of her daughter with her former best friend, making herself refocus.  Seven’s expression was imploring, and Kathryn’s face softened as she regarded her lovely wife, so earnest, so sincere, and looking completely adorable in her bare feet and her blue jeans.  She forced her irritation into submission, swallowed her anger and her jealousy, and gave Seven a questioning, tender look.

 

Seven noted the uncharacteristic sentimentality in Kathryn’s expression, and rose from the floor.  “What are you thinking?” she murmured, touching Kathryn’s face gently.

 

“How much I can’t bear the thought of losing you,” she admitted readily.  “And how much I love it when you wear casual clothes.”

 

Seven smiled sensuously at her spouse.  “Naomi encouraged me to replicate something—alluring.  I somehow doubted denim and cotton fit that description.”

 

“Naomi always knows best when it comes to fashion, darling,” Kathryn slid her hands up the soft white cotton of Seven’s blouse.  “Seven,” she swallowed her suspicions for the moment, “do you love me?”

 

Seven’s eyes showed how wounded she was that Kathryn even had to voice the insecurity.  “You are my wife,” she replied tenderly.  “Of course I love you.  And you are mistaken to worry that you might lose me.  As long as you love and respect me, communicate with me, and try to give me the things I cannot do without, I will not leave.”

 

Kathryn kissed her then, the faint touch of their lips igniting a need in her that she could not repress, no matter how much she wished to hide her vulnerability.  “Tell me the things you cannot do without,” she whispered against Seven’s cheek when they parted.

 

“I cannot do without this.  I need your approval, your calm and your understanding.  But I cannot abide your temper and I detest your accusations and your tantrums.  And they damage my trust in you, my sense of well being.  I need to be able to trust you, to feel safe with you, to feel—cherished.  That is something I cannot do without.”  She kissed her sweetly, lingering over the taste of Kathryn’s lips. “I need your lovemaking, and your affection,” she closed her eyes and breathed the scent of Kathryn’s hair.

 

“Darling,” Kathryn held her tightly, “I need your lovemaking and your affection, every bit as much,” she said through the ache that had settled in her chest.

 

Seven kissed her deeply, her hands moving with obvious interest over the soft swell of Kathryn’s buttocks.  “Then let me give both to you, my Kathryn,” she offered, palms warmly encompassing her wife’s curves.

 

“Seven,” she murmured through increasingly heated kisses, “I want you,” she half-groaned.

 

The former Borg drone nipped softly at Kathryn’s throat, gentle breaths rippling over the sensitive flesh and closing the Captain’s eyes with painful desire as skillful fingers tugged at confining buttons, exposing the older woman’s chest for exploring kisses.  “I love you, Kathryn,” Seven assured her, holding Kathryn’s waist in powerful hands, drawing her body closer.  “I cannot do without your nakedness against my own,” her words came out sounding strangled.

 

Kathryn eased her away, taking her hand.  “Come with me,” she turned toward their bedroom, leading Seven behind her.

 

In the dimmer lighting, Kathryn felt less helpless, less obvious in her need.  She did not have to meet Seven’s eyes as she arched into the wet warmth of her lips, she knew her facial contortions were concealed by the darkness as Seven suckled her throbbing nipples, and she felt safe.  She could let go, in the concealing shadows, let go of her fear and her walls and her rigid adherence to propriety, she could gasp and sigh and moan her passion, she could cry out Seven’s name as the Borg loved her, while retaining that subtle edge of anonymity, that slight sense of control. 

 

In the obscurity of the darkness, she could take Seven powerfully, mercilessly, without seeing the tenderness in her expression, the acceptance in those sky blue eyes.  She could bring Seven to the point of begging, to perfect release, without exposing herself, without surrendering entirely.

 

Seven’s mouth was agonizingly delicate on her breasts, too gentle, and Kathryn’s hands tangled in the long strands of Seven’s hair, tugging to convey her urgency, her desperate need for more intensity.  Seven obliged by biting carefully on engorged nipples, each in turn, and was rewarded with a long, low moan, with fingernails digging into her shoulders, with the hot rush of fluid beneath her questing fingers.

 

Seven knew from the rhythm of Kathryn’s hips that her wife wanted a frenzied pace, a penetration that was fierce and thundering inside her walls, and Seven plunged into her with two fingers, then three, meeting the upthrust of Kathryn’s buttocks.  Kathryn panted beneath her, grunted with each entry, legs rigid and straining.  Body bathed in sweat and in heat, Kathryn approached her peak, and Seven pushed into her tightest opening as she dropped her mouth to Kathryn’s sex.

 

Kathryn shrieked as she came, her climax abrupt and almost violent in its arrival, the sound of her release animalistic and ear shattering.  Seven closed her eyes against the grating tone, reminded herself that Kathryn needed this from her, willed herself to believe this was making love.  Except it didn’t feel like love.

 

Seven was pushed over onto her back in the next moment, and Kathryn was upon her, needful and frantic and aggressive, mouth everywhere at once, hands grasping and invasive, tearing her blouse open roughly.  If she had trusted Kathryn, she might have been able to respond to this type of lovemaking, but she cowered inwardly from it, afraid the next touch would hurt, frightened that the penetration would be too rough or too hard or too deep.  She tried desperately to relax, to give her desire to her wife, but her nervousness overrode her ability to feel pleasure.  She forced her mind to calmness, focused on the sensation in her clitoris as Kathryn rubbed it.  She imagined deep brown eyes, gazing into her own.

 

“Come to me, Seven,” Kieran would urge in a kind but insistent tone, the richness of her voice like music, her face full of longing and tenderness.  “I love you, your Borgness.”

 

Seven cried out then, her orgasm immediate and demanding, her shame nearly instantaneous as she realized she had pictured Kieran touching her, loving her, holding her.  She rolled into Kathryn’s arms, relieved that the blanketing darkness hid her horrified expression, and her utter shock as a wave of pain tore through her from the incessant thrusting of Kathryn’s fingers.  “Stop, Kathryn,” she squirmed free of her penetration, grasping her wife’s wrist.  “You’re hurting me,” she bit her lip, and started to cry.  Kieran would never hurt me, she told herself.  She would be gentle and sweet and delicate.  She would not tear my clothing or my flesh.  She would look in my eyes when she touched me.  She would truly make love to me.

 

“Darling, I’m sorry,” Kathryn held her, gathering the larger woman in her arms.  “Are you all right?”

 

Seven sniffled, her feelings injured much more than her body.  “I’m fine.  I’m just—tired,” she landed on an explanation.  “Tonight was draining.”

 

“I imagine it’s pretty emotional for you, knowing our first child is going to be married,” Kathryn allowed.  “I can’t believe Kieran would get engaged, so soon after B'Elanna.”

 

“It’s been over two years, Kathryn,” Seven leapt to Kieran’s defense, as she always did now.  “They are entitled to their happiness,” she fought a fresh wave of tears, imagining her daughter exchanging her vows with Kieran.

 

Soon enough, Seven knew, she would have to witness those vows.

_____________________

 

Captain Kathryn Janeway reviewed the Security Chief’s report, pinching the bridge of her nose as she threw the PADD down on her desktop.

 

“You’re sure about this, Tuvok?” she was beside herself.

 

“I am,” the Vulcan assured her.  “The evidence is quite clear, and as much as I dislike the conclusion, I am confident in it.”

 

Kathryn sighed.  “Did he have anything to do with Kieran’s assault?”

 

Tuvok shook his head.  “I am equally confident that he did not have any role in that.”

 

“Why in hell would he destroy ship’s property, after everything we’ve done for him?  Why would he lash out at Kieran, of all people?  She has been so good with him,” Kathryn puzzled over it.

 

“I do not pretend to understand his motives,” Tuvok replied.  “Perhaps the Counselor might.”

 

Kathryn pushed away from her desk, a resolute expression on her face.  “I think we had better get to the bottom of this right now,” she scowled.

 

 

Jamari Schwama squirmed in his seat, glancing guiltily at his adoptive parents.  The look of pure shock and disbelief on their faces cut the young boy to the bone. 

 

Kathryn Janeway had taken Jamari, an orphan of the conflict between the Creoheem and the Restidians on Restid Three, aboard Voyager, along with his sister, in exchange for his help in finding Naomi Wildman when she disappeared in the Rainbow Caves of Restid Three.  Counselor Thompson had worked with the crew to find Jamari and Teseque a home, and she had warned the Curtises, his adoptive family, that behavioral difficulties should be expected.  But this was beyond anything they could have imagined.

 

Captain Janeway kept her tone firm, but sympathetic as she explained Jamari’s crime to Alecia and Jonah Curtis.  She wanted to be certain the Curtises did not feel responsible for something their son had done, and she wanted them to understand that as a parent, she knew how difficult it could be to accept unwanted behavior from a child.

 

Alecia Curtis’ sensitive eyes filled with tears at the description of the Counselor’s office.  “Jamari,” she turned an inquisitive, imploring eye to her son, “what could make you do such a thing?” she asked, flabbergasted and horrified.

 

Jamari shook his head.  “I—I—don’t know,” he stammered.

 

Jonah Curtis towered over him, a stern set to his jaw.  “Young man, you had better have an answer besides ‘I don’t know’.  What’s gotten into you?  Counselor Thompson has been your friend, your advocate.  How could you do something so mean-spirited to her?”

 

Jamari stared at the floor.  “I don’t know,” he repeated.  “I just—felt so angry,” he faltered.

 

Kathryn Janeway studied the miserable expression on the Creoheem’s face, sensing his torment.  “I think we’d better get the Counselor, don’t you?” she asked Alecia.

 

“We certainly should,” Jonah put in.  “You are going to apologize, Mister.  And it had better be sincere,” he snarled at his young charge.

 

“Jonah,” Kathryn stood and lay a consoling hand on his arm, “I meant that the Counselor might help Jamari understand what made him behave so—aberrantly,” she offered.  “I didn’t mean he should apologize to her.  Obviously, something grave made him do this, and Kieran is best equipped to find out why.”

 

Jonah ran a hand through his thick hair, taking an unsteady breath.  “Okay.  Hail her.”

 

 

Counselor Kieran Thompson was reeling from the news as Kathryn briefed her in the corridor outside the Curtis residence.

 

“Jamari?  You can’t be serious,” she scrubbed her fingers through her hair distractedly.  “He tore my office up, and wrote those nasty things?”

 

Kathryn nodded.  “He did.  He confessed, after Tuvok confronted him.”

 

“But why?” Kieran asked plaintively.

 

“That’s what you’re here to find out, Kieran,” Kathryn shrugged.  “I’m going back to the bridge.  Good luck.  I’m leaving it up to you whether or not to press criminal charges.  I’ll leave Tuvok behind, in case you elect to have Jamari sent to the brig.”

 

Kieran watched her Captain walk away, feeling as if every ounce of energy had drained from her body.  She let herself into the Curtis’ home, truly at a loss on where to begin.  Tuvok sat stoically on a chair near the entrance, as if he feared Jamari might bolt for escape.  Alecia and Jonah sat together on the couch, comforting each other, too stunned to speak.

 

Jamari was seated in a chair across from his adoptive parents, face hidden in his hands, too ashamed to look at Kieran.  She pulled up a stool, straddled it, and positioned herself right in front of the young man.

 

“Jamari,” she said gently, “please tell me why you are so angry with me that you wanted to hurt me,” she requested.  “Did I do or say anything unkind to you?”

 

He hung his head, but took his hands away from his face.  “No, Counselor.”

 

“Then why?  Why did you do this?” she pleaded, heart aching.

 

“I don’t know,” he said again.

 

“I think you do,” Kieran insisted, taking both of his hands.  “Tell me, Jamari.   Tell me what was going through your mind when you broke into my office.”

 

His eyes registered panic.  “I was thinking about the Restidian soldiers,” he admitted.

 

“What about them, sweetie?” Kieran urged him.  “What did they do to you?”

 

His hands began to tremble.  “They—they—did the same things to me you do to Naomi,” he let it out in a rush.

 

Kieran was shocked to the core.  “You think I hurt Naomi?” she asked, her tone retreating.

 

He nodded slowly.  “They hurt me.  Everyone says that’s what you’re doing to her.”

 

“And you believe that?  You think I’m hurting Naomi?” she repeated.

 

He nodded again. 

 

“And that makes you angry, because adults are supposed to protect children, not let bad things happen to them.  Did those soldiers force you to have sex with them?” she laid it out in the open. 

 

He nodded once more.  “All the Creoheem children had to—do those things with them.  Or they would beat us, sometimes kill us,” his eyes were haunted.  “I kept them away from Tessie, though,” he said fiercely.  “I never let them touch her, those bastards,” he started to cry.

 

Kieran swallowed hard, gathering him into her arms.  “It’s okay, now, sweetie.  Nobody here will ever treat you or Tessie that way, I promise,” she assured him, hugging him tightly.  She rubbed his shoulders while he vented his frustration and his fear.

 

“How can I believe you?” he pushed her away roughly.  “I know what you’re doing to her,” he insisted.  “I don’t want you to touch me,” he withdrew into himself, curling into a ball in the chair.

 

Kieran nodded.  “Okay.  Your personal space is yours, and no one has the right to touch you if you say they can’t,” she validated for him.  “But you are wrong about Naomi and I.  I want you to ask her yourself, Jamari.  I’m going to hail her, and I want you to ask her anything you like.  If she says I have ever done anything to her she didn’t want me to do, Tuvok will arrest me—because my people do protect children, Jamari.  We do not allow adults to sexually abuse children, and the punishment is harsh and permanent,” she explained.  She tapped her comm badge.  “Counselor to Naomi Wildman,” she greeted her partner.

 

“Hi honey,” Naomi came back across the channel.  “What’s up?”

 

“Na, I’m in Jamari and Tessie’s quarters.  I have an emergency and I require your presence, Ship’s Counselor’s authorization.  Tell B'Elanna you’re being called from duty on code eight,” she explained, “and she’ll release you.  Meet me here.”

 

“Understood.  I’m on my way,” Naomi replied, closing the frequency.

 

Jamari stuck his chin out defiantly.  “She won’t tell the truth with you sitting here,” he accused. 

 

“I won’t be.  Tuvok,” she turned to the Chief of Security.  “Take me into custody,” she instructed him.

 

His eyebrow shot skyward.  “Counselor?”

 

“You heard me.  I’ve been accused of a very serious crime,” she held out her wrists.  “Don’t release me until Jamari is satisfied that I have never hurt Naomi.”

 

Tuvok hesitated, but realized Kieran was trying to make a point with Jamari, one that would allow him to trust his new human society.  He nodded, slipping a set of restraining cuffs from his cargo pocket.  He cuffed Kieran, though he thought her tactics a bit odd.

 

Naomi Wildman arrived to find her lover handcuffed, Tuvok looking bewildered, and the Curtises staring in disbelief at the Counselor.  “How can I help?” she asked, wondering what in hell was going on.

 

Kieran smiled at her.  “Jamari believes I’ve been hurting you,” she said softly.  “I told him that child abuse, especially sexual abuse, is not acceptable to our culture, and that he can ask you anything he wants about our relationship.  If he’s not completely satisfied that I am innocent, Tuvok will keep me in custody.  Jamari needs to understand, humans protect their children,” she explained.  Then loud enough so everyone could hear, she said  “I’m going to have Tuvok take me into another room, so you and Jamari can have a private conversation.  I want you to be completely honest with him, Naomi.  And if I have done anything wrong, I will go to the brig immediately.  I want you to be honest, and that’s an order,” she said strongly.  “Jamari,” she turned to him.  “I want you to start by telling Naomi everything you’ve heard, and everything that’s upset you.  Ask her how much of what you’ve heard is true.  Tuvok?” she turned to the Vulcan.  “I am in your custody,” she announced.

 

“Crewman Curtis,” the Vulcan turned to Jonah.  “May I use your bedroom as a temporary holding cell?” he asked.

 

“Certainly, Commander,” Jonah showed them the back room.  He looked intently at Kieran.  “You don’t have to do this, you know,” he advised her.

 

“I do,” Kieran supplied.  “He has to know he’s safe now.  And then we can start the real work, Jonah, and it is going to be very, very difficult work.  Trust me.  This is necessary,” she contended.

 

 

 

Jamari Schwama detailed every despicable rumor he had heard about Naomi’s situation, every sordid accusation, every inculpation.  Naomi listened patiently, though she was outraged.  She was so furious she nearly bit through her lip, but she forced her face to passivity because she knew Kieran was trying to help this boy.

 

“This is your chance, Naomi,” he whispered to her.  “You can get away from her now, you’ll be safe,” he took her hands, urging her to act.  “I couldn’t get away from the Restidian soldiers who did those things to me, but you can get away from her.”

 

Naomi shook her head piteously.  “Jamari, I love her.  She has never hurt me.  In fact, she didn’t want to be with me, because she knew people would say those awful things, and she tried to send me away.  I am the one who insisted she and I be together,” she argued.  “I am happy with Kieran.  I’m so happy that I asked her to marry me.  And she said yes.  I never want to be away from her.  You have to believe me,” she pleaded.  “The Federation Courts ruled that I am legally an adult.  I am not a child.  I am capable of sexual consent.  And I fully consent to the relationship I have with Kieran.  She would never hurt me, Jamari.”

 

“She wouldn’t?” his eyes were so big, so frightened.  “You wouldn’t lie to me, would you Na?”

 

“No, sweetie,” she hugged him.  “I wouldn’t lie to you.  First, telling you the truth was a direct order from a superior officer.  Second, you’re my friend, and although I appreciate your desire to protect me, your fears are misplaced.  Kieran is a wonderful partner, and I want to spend my life with her.  Now, please, Jamari, can I tell Tuvok you’re convinced she’s innocent?”

 

He considered, then nodded slowly.  “I’m sorry I did that to her office,” he murmured.

 

Naomi drew a shaking breath.  So that’s what this was all about.  “I was pretty upset by it, you know,” she admonished.  “It scared me.  I was afraid for Kieran’s safety.  And it hurt her feelings terribly.  You should tell her you’re sorry, not me,” she counseled.  She tapped her comm badge.  “Wildman to Tuvok,” she hailed.  “Could you bring the prisoner back in here, please?” she would have been amused, if the situation were not so upsetting.

 

Tuvok appeared momentarily, escorting the Counselor, still in handcuffs.  “Jamari Schwama,” Tuvok intoned imperiously.  “Do you wish to press formal criminal charges against Counselor Thompson?”

 

“No, Sir,” Jamari looked overwhelmed at the formality of the query.  “Please, let her go,” his voice shook, and he jumped up, grabbing her the second her hands were free.  “I’m sorry, Kieran,” he sobbed against her uniform shoulder.

 

Kieran held him close.  “It’s okay, honey,” she told him.  “It was just something you did in a fit of anger.  Just a mistake,” she cradled his head against her.  “Don’t cry, Jamari,” she soothed him.

 

She let him cry himself out, then smiled at Tuvok.  “I think you can go back to duty, Commander,” she said, winking at him.

 

He inclined his head, a faint curl at the corners of his lips.  “Then you won’t be pressing any vandalism charges?”

 

“No,” Kieran replied.  “I think Jamari knows what he did was wrong.”

 

“Young man,” Tuvok addressed the Creoheem, “you are getting off with a warning.  See that you never require more,” he spun on his heel and exited their quarters.

 

Naomi stood watching everything, uncertain if she should stay or go.  Kieran smiled at her.  “I’ll see you at home tonight, Na.  Thanks for coming by.”

 

Naomi nodded, then to emphasize her point with Jamari, she kissed Kieran warmly.  “I love you,” she said firmly, hugging her fiancée.

 

“I know,” Kieran squeezed her gently.  “I love you, too,” she assured her.

 

Alone with the Curtises and with their son, Kieran settled the young man back into his chair, reclaiming her make-shift seat on the footstool. 

 

“I think there are probably a lot of things we can talk about, if you’re ready to tell me about them,” she offered to the boy.  “Would you like to come and see me, by yourself, twice a week to get started?”

 

Jamari nodded hollowly.  “I don’t want to be angry, anymore, Kieran,” he said pathetically.  “I want to feel like I really am safe, here.”

 

Kieran smiled reassurance at him.  “Then we’ll work on those things, specifically.  I’ll send the appointment schedule to your comm account, and to your parents’ accounts, too.  Okay?”

 

“Okay,” he agreed. 

 

“Okay,” she reiterated.  “I’m going back to my office then, but if you need me, hail me,” she instructed.

 

“Counselor,” Alecia followed Kieran out the door, “ a word with you, please?”

 

Kieran turned to face her.  “Yes?”

 

“Should we punish him?” Alecia looked like she had been poured out, dry and empty.

 

“I wouldn’t, if he were my child.  He was acting out of his own abuse, Alecia.  God only knows what kind and how much he’s been through.  I don’t think anything could be worse punishment than living with what he’s done.  He’s truly sorry.  That’s enough.”

 

She shook her head.  “How can you be so forgiving—of him, of the crew?  My God, Kieran, they almost beat you to death,” she gasped, pressing her hand to her lips.

 

Kieran hugged her then.  “It’s okay,” she tried to comfort the shaken woman.  “He’s a kid.  He’s only a conduit for the ignorance and hatred of the adults around him.  That’s not his fault.  As for the crew, these things take time.  Naomi and I knew what we were up against.  We could have stayed on Qian, and had none of this trouble.  But I couldn’t take her from her family, and I couldn’t leave my daughter. We’ll get through it.  I’m fully recovered from the assault,” she assured Alecia.  “And believe me, I am angry about that, but only because it scared Naomi so badly.”

 

Alecia gazed at her in wonder.  “You’re a bigger person than I am, Kieran.  Naomi says she asked you to marry her,” she smiled warmly. 

 

Kieran grinned.  “She did.  She must have had too much wine with dinner, that night,” she laughed happily, holding out her hand so Alecia could see the ring.

 

“It’s lovely.  Congratulations,” she said sincerely.  “And thank you for everything you’re doing for my family.  I still can’t believe Jamari did those things, either.  He’s always spoken so highly of you.”

 

“It’s just projecting,” Kieran explained.  “He used this situation with Naomi and I to unearth his abuse issues.  It’s good that he did, because now we can deal with them.  Be prepared, because things are about to get complicated.  But we’ll get through them, I promise.”

 

______________________

 

Seven of Nine, still disturbed by the unsettling events of the previous night, worked distractedly through alpha shift, and as soon as the shift ended, she went to find her daughter.  Naomi, the ship’s computer told her, was in the turbo-lift.  Seven assumed that Naomi was on her way back to deck three, where the officers’ quarters were located, and she headed there herself. 

 

She caught the turbolift and Naomi was there, looking pensive.  “Hi, Borg-Mom,” she greeted the towering blonde. 

 

“I was looking for you,” Seven advised.  “However, perhaps what I wanted to discuss should wait.  You look troubled,” she reached for Naomi’s hand.

 

Naomi nodded.  “I am.  I’ve had a peculiar afternoon,” she admitted.  “Want to have some hot tea with me?”

 

“That would be acceptable,” Seven lapsed into Borg-speak.

 

Naomi eyed her warily.  “If you’re talking like a drone, something big must be on your mind,” she led Seven down the corridor and into her quarters.  “Make yourself at home, I’ll get the tea.”

 

Seven relaxed immediately, smelling the familiar scent of Naomi and Kieran’s home, a soothing combination of Naomi’s toiletry products, Kieran’s cologne, and lingering aromas from the meals they concocted.  “Is Kieran going to be here soon?”

 

“I don’t think so,” Naomi offered.  “She has a counseling emergency.  That’s what I’m so preoccupied with,” she added.  “She had to call me in to help.”

 

Seven’s right eyebrow arched elegantly.  “You?”

 

Naomi brought the hot tea to the kitchen table, handing a steaming mug to Seven.  “Yes.  Jamari was convinced that Kieran has been sexually assaulting me, and so he vandalized her office.”

 

“He’s the culprit?” Seven was shocked to the core of her being.  “But Jamari and Tessie love Kieran,” she protested, disbelieving.

 

“I know.  I couldn’t believe it myself, but he admitted to doing it.  So Kieran hailed me to come to the Curtises, and when I got there, Tuvok had her handcuffed,” she shook her head.  “I almost fainted, Seven.”

 

“She has been arrested?” Seven almost knocked her chair over scrambling to her feet, as if she would jailbreak Kieran any second.

 

“No, Mom, it’s okay,” Naomi settled Seven back into her chair with a restraining hand.  “She told me, when I got there, that Jamari thinks she’s abusing me, and she ordered me to answer his questions truthfully.  And then she announced that if Jamari wasn’t completely convinced of her innocence, she’d have Tuvok take her to the brig.”

 

Seven’s jaw dropped.  “No.”

 

“I swear,” Naomi assured her.  “She wanted Jamari to understand that humans do not tolerate child abuse, and that he is safe.  Kieran made him tell me all the horrible things he’s heard, all the rumors and lies and Jesus, Seven, I was just sick at the shit the people on this ship have been saying about us—about Kieran, especially.  I was mortified, and so pissed off, I could barely sit still,” she sipped her tea.  “Meanwhile, Kieran had Tuvok haul her off to one of the back bedrooms, where she was incarcerated until Jamari decided if he was going press charges.  And thank God, because I did not want Kieran to hear what the assholes on this ship have been saying. She would be heartbroken to know people think so little of her.  I heard things that would turn your stomach,” she grimaced.  “And poor Jamari, he was so brutalized by those bastard Restidians, he believes all the rumors—and hell, why wouldn’t he?  He’s never known anything but abuse, until Alecia and Jonah adopted him.”

 

Seven finally remembered to taste her tea.  “Did you convince him of Kieran’s innocence?”

 

“Eventually, yes,” Naomi sighed with relief.  “And not a moment too soon, because I believe she’d really have let Tuvok throw her in jail if Jamari had a single doubt,” she bit her lip.  “But you know what?  Jamari respects her, now.  And he is convinced she’s morally credible, because of that stunt.  I was just blown away, Mom.  She cut through all the crap with him, and brought it to a level he could understand immediately, by letting Tuvok arrest her.  By the time I left, she had the poor kid in tears, apologizing and confessing to everything he’d done to her office.  She amazes me,” Naomi said affectionately.

 

Seven smiled with a sense of pride for her friend.  “She is very effective in her job,” she agreed.  “That took courage.  If you had not been convincing, she could be living in the brig, now,” she teased her daughter.  Then her face darkened.  “Please tell me Jamari was not one of the people who assaulted Kieran.”

 

“Oh, no, nothing like that.  Just the incident with her office.  Of course, that was bad enough.  Kieran would never admit it, but that hurt her feelings so much, and I know she’s crushed that Jamari did that to her.  She loves him so much, and she’s tried so hard to be there for him.  That poor guy.  What a shitty life he’s had,” she sighed.  “So, sorry I’m a little drained, but it’s pretty disconcerting to find your future spouse in custody.”

 

Seven nudged her.  “Nothing that woman does should surprise you, by now,” she laughed lightly, waggling her eyebrows.

 

Naomi laughed back.  “You’re right about that.  She’s something else,” she grinned ruefully.  She studied Seven momentarily.  “What’s on your mind, Mom?  You were looking pretty upset, yourself, when you got on the lift with me.”

 

Seven considered how to approach the topic.  “I wanted to talk to you about sex,” she admitted.  “Now that you are active, I feel I can finally talk to someone about it.”

 

Naomi laughed.  “B'Elanna is your best friend.  Why not talk to her?” she was amused.

 

“I prefer the opinion of someone who does not think sex should entail biting, bloodletting, and bat’leths,” Seven smirked.

 

Naomi cracked up.  “Don’t forget painsticks,” she joked.

 

Seven nodded.  “Those, too.”

 

“Is there some reason why you haven’t talked to Kieran?  After all, she’s the Ship’s Counselor,” Naomi pointed out.

 

“Do you not wish me to discuss it with you?” Seven seemed hurt.

 

“Oh, it’s not that, Mom.  I just don’t feel like much of an expert,” she smiled.  “But you can always ask.  What’s on your mind?”

 

Seven contemplated her tea, sipping it thoughtfully.  “Since Kieran has a history of sexual relationships with Klingons, does she ever—hurt you?”

 

“Lord, no,” Naomi assured her mother.  “That’s what you’ve been fretting about?  You think she’s rough with me?”

 

Seven did not reply.

 

“Mom, I promise you, Kieran does not make love like a Klingon.  She’s gentle and sweet and—just amazing.  There’s no blood, no pain, no roughness.”

 

“Are you ever—vigorous together?” Seven ventured.

 

Naomi chuckled.  “I guess that depends on your perspective,” she winked at her mother.  “Seriously, we can be enthusiastic, and physical, at times, so I guess we’re vigorous with each other.  Why?” she pressed.

 

Seven bit her lip.  “Kathryn—has become increasingly—vigorous,” she faltered over the explanation.  “And I am unnerved by it.”

 

“Elaborate on what you mean by vigorous,” Naomi was worried now, and she took Seven’s hand across the table.

 

“She—tore my clothing last night,” Seven confided.

 

“Is that all?” Naomi kept her tone even.

 

“She—was rough with me, to the point that I had to stop her because it was hurting me,” she hung her head.

 

“Tearing someone’s clothing, in and of itself, isn’t necessarily a bad thing—it’s sort of like a game, in a way, and Kieran and I have certainly damaged clothing trying to get it off fast enough for our liking,” she said gently.  “And I can understand and imagine that most partners might accidentally cause one another pain occasionally, but a single word of protest should stop whatever is causing that pain.  I have been afraid, on occasion, that I might hurt her, from being too eager,” she admitted.  “K-Mom didn’t make you bleed, did she?”

 

“No, nothing that awful,” Seven squeezed her hand.  “It’s just—she’s never been that aggressive and it scared me.  I couldn’t—respond, she was so unlike herself.”

 

“Did you tell her any of this? Did you tell her she scared you?” Naomi bristled.

 

“I told her she was hurting me, and I pulled her hand away,” Seven nodded.  “But I didn’t tell her she scared me with her behavior.”

 

“Was it ripping your clothes that scared you?” Naomi clarified.

 

“Partly, but it was more the way she wanted me to be with her—how rough she wanted me to be.  And then she wanted to return the same harshness, and I just closed up, emotionally.  It seemed like we crossed the line between making love and having sex,” Seven puzzled over it.  “It made me think of B'Elanna and Tristan Garrett, and how they were together.”

 

“B'Elanna talked to you about him?” she asked.

 

“Eventually, yes.  Long after she stopped seeing him, though.  The way she described being with him was repulsive,” Seven shuddered.  “All blood and fluids and crushing bones and absolutely no tenderness, no affection.”

 

“Raw lust,” Naomi nodded.  “That’s what Kieran couldn’t give her.  She’s not capable of that sort of objectification.”

 

“I am sorry to trouble you with this, Naomi, but I am truly grateful you’re willing to talk about these things with me,” Seven smiled faintly at her lovely daughter.

 

“It’s okay, Mom, you can always ask anything you like.  I love it that you trust me enough to bring your concerns to me.  I’ve always taken mine to you,” she kissed Seven’s hand.  “So you felt like K-Mom was being too much like Tristan Garrett?”

 

“Not precisely like him, but I felt the same sort of revulsion that I felt when B'Elanna told me about Tristan.  I didn’t feel love coming from Kathryn, so much as I felt that raw urgency.  It was not intimate, not the way I want things to be intimate.”

 

“You have to tell her, then, Seven,” Naomi urged her.  “Good sex is ninety percent communication.  That’s why it’s so good with Kieran—she’s a good communicator.  I know it’s hard, because sex is the most revealing thing to talk about, but you have to be able to tell K-Mom what you want and how you want it from her.  If she loves you, she’ll listen, and she’ll learn.”

 

Seven nodded, feeling a bit better.  “She was apologetic, of course, when I told her she was hurting me, but I know from experience with her that her apologies do not always signal an actual change in behavior.  So I didn’t take much comfort in her remorse.”

 

“Well, if you ask me, you need to have a good talk with her.  Everyone has to feel their way through a sexual relationship, if you’ll excuse the pun.  It’s a matter of defining what limits you’ll embrace and what you can and cannot endure, physically.”

 

“If Kieran did something you did not enjoy, you would be able to tell her?” Seven asked softly.

 

“Absolutely.  But she makes it so easy, Mom,” Naomi smiled fondly, thinking of the tall Counselor.

 

“She does? How?” Seven listened intently.

 

“She asks.  Anytime we try something new, she keeps asking if it’s okay, if I’m okay, and after we’ve made love, she’ll usually ask if there’s something I’d prefer she did differently, or more of, or whatever.  She keeps a dialogue going with me, and I never get shy or embarrassed with her because she’s so open about sex, so anxious to make it good for me.  I swear, if I told her I wanted her to dress up like a kangaroo, swing from the ceiling, and whistle ‘Dixie’, she’d do it, if I told her it would satisfy me,” she chuckled.

 

Seven fixed her with a peculiar look.  “Why would you want her to do any of those things?”

 

“I wouldn’t,” Naomi laughed.  “That’s just my way of saying she’s very flexible and open-minded.”

 

Kieran arrived just then, looking washed out and exhausted.  She smiled, however, and held out her arms to her lover.  “Thank you for helping me with Jamari, today,” she murmured as Naomi hugged her.  “It was the only way I could think to reach him, and you were superb.”

 

Naomi held her warmly, kissing her.  “I love you, Kieran.  And I hope I never have to go through something like that again, but you were astonishing.  I know Alecia and Jonah are so impressed,” she praised the Counselor.

 

“Thanks, sweetie.  I should have told you, too, that everything that happened today is strictly confidiential, and you can’t tell anyone about it.  Can you do that for me?”

 

Naomi’s face fell.  “I wish you had said something sooner.  I already told Seven, because I was so upset about it myself.  I’m sorry, Kieran,” she took the Counselor’s hands.

 

“It’s okay, honey.  My error,” she assured her, dropping her hands.  “Seven,” she stooped over to kiss her future mother-in-law’s cheek, “I am very glad to see you, and you aren’t here often enough.  Please, don’t discuss anything Naomi told you with anyone.  Kathryn already knows, so she’s safe.  Will you stay for dinner?”

 

Seven smiled up at the tall woman.  “I would love to, but I should probably go home.  You look tired from your brush with the law,” she teased.  “A very unorthodox method of counseling, but apparently, a sound one.  Naomi and I have been marveling at your skill all afternoon,” she grinned at her friend.  “Ladies, I’m going to go now.  Naomi, thank you for the tea and the conversation.  I will keep in mind what you suggested.”

 

Naomi hugged and kissed her mother.  “I love you, Mom.  I’m sure things will work out, if you keep talking.  Good night,” she added, ushering Seven out the door.

 

“You’re sure you won’t stay, your Borgness?  We could invite Kathryn, too,” Kieran tried to be persuasive.

 

Seven’s pulse quickened and she suddenly felt flushed.  “No, thank you,” she started to back away from the door, but Kieran grabbed her up in a hug.

 

“Okay, Seven,” she kissed her cheek again.  “Please, come back soon though.  I miss you.”  Brown eyes regarded her affectionately, and the former Borg nodded mutely.

 

“I miss you, too,” she said under her breath as she walked to her own quarters.

______________________

 

Command Track Final Exam Mission Specifications:

 

You and your away team must escort Admiral Janeway to talks on Rettia Major, where the Admiral must negotiate the entrance of Rettia to the Federation. Rettia Major has vast supplies of minerals important to the Federation, and as part of Rettia’s membership, Admiral Janeway must negotiate mining rights for various Federation members.  You must select an appropriate team to escort the Admiral.  You must limit your choices to four officers and two security crewmen.  Your choices must be submitted to the examination committee 48 hours in advance of the exam.  You may not select the following crewmembers: Seven of Nine, Commander Chakotay, Harry Kim, the EMH.

 

Lieutenant Commander Kieran Thompson had reviewed the exam specifications and the appendices of information that came with the exam description.  She nearly had the maps of the planet memorized, she had studied so hard.  But she couldn’t help feeling there was something amiss about the scenario, since it just sounded like too routine a mission.

 

She stood atop the transporter dais, flanked on either side by her away team.  She surveyed the group, assessed their mood, and fixed them each in turn with a calm glance:  B’Elanna Torres, her engineering expert; Tuvok, her tactical and security expert; Noah Lessing, her science officer; and Rachel McVicker, whose background in the sciences and in security would round out the officers on her squad.  Two uniformed security crewmen, Lauren Gaines and Terrell Washington, brought up the rear.  Admiral Janeway stood in the center of the group, in the protective circle formed by the exam participants.

 

“Energize,” Kieran ordered the transporter chief. 

The Consulate’s building on Rettia Major bustled with swarms of people, everyone in a hurry to get to their designated places and meetings.  The delegation representative waited to greet the away team, rushing over to make acquaintances with the Admiral and her escorts.   Kieran watched the little man carefully, keeping a discerning eye on him as he introduced himself to Kathryn. 

 

The team was taken immediately to the negotiating table, where they were treated solicitously, and Kathryn launched right into the trade talks.  Kieran listened to every detail, wondering what the exam simulation was really going to be about, thinking how it seemed so routine.  After two hours of discussions, the away team returned to Voyager, where Kieran and Kathryn discussed the talks and assessed the situation.

 

The team returned that afternoon for more deliberations, and then they were treated to an elaborate banquet on Rettia Major.  Kieran stuck to Kathryn’s side, especially when the crush of the local media swooped in to question her endlessly about the Federation, their membership, the details of the mining agreements, and anything else they could think of to badger her about.  Kieran was reminded of the onslaught of reporters who hammered her after every basketball game, and it renewed her general dislike and distrust of reporters.

 

Kieran spent the second day of negotiations reading over the newspaper articles from the first day, tracking the general mood of the Rettians, the factions squaring off in the editorial pages.  There was a fairly radical faction consisting of the union laborers that worked the mines, and their leadership was convinced that joining the Federation would impede their prosperity and their way of life.  Automation would displace workers, technology would make the miners obsolete.  Kieran realized that the work force of Rettia was over 60% miners and mining related industries, and the union was very powerful. 

 

The debates heated up in the media, but the talks were uneventful.  Kieran noted that there was a particular delegate, Delegate Balen, who had close ties to the mining unions, and seemed to want to throw a wrench in the talks, but his fellow delegates had kept him fairly well in line.  Kieran and Tuvok agreed privately to keep a close eye on him, since he was the most vocal opponent and the most likely threat to the Admiral’s well being.   Security was so tight around the consulate’s building, however, that Kieran felt fairly comfortable with the situation.

 

On the third day, some of the delegates brought their families to meet the Admiral at the first break of the morning.  Janeway was engaging, wanting to put a good face on the Federation, and knowing how the opinion of a spouse could sway a person in professional matters.  Kieran and Tuvok watched impassively as the long line of wives and husbands and children came through the corridor and into the conference area.  Balen’s little girl, who looked to be about three, was one of the last to approach the Admiral.  Kieran watched her intently, thinking the pretty little girl was behaving strangely.  At the last second, her internal alarms went off, and she made a dead run for the girl, snatching her away just as Janeway reached out to pick her up.  Janeway looked at the Commander as if she had lost her mind, preparing emotionally for the unpleasant repercussions of Kieran’s actions. 

 

Kieran deposited the child in the corridor outside, several meters away, and kept running.  There was a huge explosion, and inside the conference room, Tuvok fell on the Admiral, shielding her body with his own.  Balen’s child vanished in the blast, vaporizing in a ball of light and heat.  Kieran staggered to her feet, seeing Balen running away, and tracked him down.  She feared he might be wearing an explosive, too, but she tackled him anyway, wrestling him to the ground, pinning his arms. 

 

Rettian security arrested him in a matter of moments, and Kieran made her way back to the conference.

 

Kathryn stared at her, dumbfounded.  “How did you know?” she murmured.

 

Kieran shrugged.  “I didn’t, until it was almost too late.”

 

Tuvok shook his head.  “Even I had no idea.”

 

Kieran laughed.  “Well, the exam had been so damned boring, I figured something dramatic might happen soon,” she teased, her nervousness calming a bit.  “Are you okay, ‘Admiral’?” she touched Janeway’s arm.

 

Kathryn nodded.  “I’m a little shaken up, but otherwise, I’m fine.  Let’s get back to the ship.”

 

____________________

 

Admiral Janeway decided to return to Rettia, despite the events of the day before, determined to conclude the negotiations, and to demonstrate to the Rettians that the attempt on her life was not going to deter her or the Federation.  The away team assembled once again, beaming down to Rettia.

 

They were supposed to materialize in the Consulate’s building on Rettia Major, where they would meet with the delegation in charge of Rettia’s transition to Federation membership.  However, they found themselves in the bowels of the largest mine of Rettia, which could only be likened to the fire pits of hell itself. 

 

“It’s a trap!” Kieran cried out, collapsing in toward the Admiral and drawing her weapon.  Her team followed her lead, but phaser fire whined across the expanse of the cavern where they had transported, and Janeway dropped with the first volley.   The Admiral clutched at her left shoulder, her clothing charred around a blast wound in her chest. 

 

“Help me get her to cover!” Kieran shouted, as Tuvok stooped to grab Janeway’s injured arm.  Kieran dragged her by the other, and they scrambled behind a pile of boulders.

 

Tuvok checked Janeway’s vital signs, which were fluctuating rapidly.  “Commander,” he intoned coolly, “the Admiral is critical.”

 

Janeway discerned the away team leader through a veil of pain.  “Kato, this is not the way this simulation is supposed to go,” she advised her, panting from the strain of her agony.  “Something’s gone wrong.”

 

Kieran crouched lower, trying to avoid the spate of weapons discharge sailing over her head.  “Understood,” she agreed.  “Computer,” she called out impatiently, “we have a man down, end exam simulation.”

 

The dispassionate computer voice replied “Unable to comply.  Holodeck controls are offline.”

 

“Then get them back online,” she demanded hotly.  “Captain Janeway needs medical attention immediately.”

 

“Unable to comply,” the computer repeated indifferently.

 

“Computer,” Tuvok intervened, “what is the status of safety protocols?”

 

“Safety protocols are offline,” the computer informed the team.

 

Kieran and Tuvok exchanged concerned looks.  “Kathryn,” Kieran hovered over her, rummaging through her mission case,  “I’m going to give you something for the pain, but I need you to stay conscious if you can.” She pressed the hypospray to the ‘Admiral’s’ throat.

 

Kathryn grimaced.  “How bad is it?”

 

“You’ll live,” Kieran lied, grinning.  Then trying to refocus her attention, Kieran turned to Tuvok.  “Can you see the rest of the team?”

 

Tuvok stealthily inched up over the boulder pile, firing off several shots.  “B’Elanna and crewman Gaines are hiding in an alcove to our right,” he reported.  “I cannot see Ensigns Lessing or McVicker.  Crewman Washington appears to be dead. He provided us with cover while we escaped,” Tuvok wiped sweat from his brow, trying to breathe despite the sulfuric atmosphere of the mine.  “There are, in my best estimation, seven opponents firing upon us,” he added.  “We are outnumbered.”  He jumped up and squeezed off a resounding volley, ducking back to safety with the grace of a cat.  “Make it six,” he updated her.

 

Kieran squinted in the dim light of the cavern, trying to make out the shape of her ex-wife behind an outcropping of stone.  The heat was oppressive, just the type of environment a Klingon would love.  All around them, fumes and flames shot out of the ground with unpredictable frequency, and small explosions of gas belched from various locales around the mine.  “The Rettians actually work in these conditions?” she asked of no one, disbelieving.

 

She slumped against the boulders, uncertain of what to do.  Trapped in a mine, with hostile alien attackers whose motives are unknown, with my Captain fighting for her life.  Probably outnumbered and outgunned.  We can’t shoot our way out of this, though it sounds like we’re making the effort, she noted the continuing exchanges of phaser fire whizzing around in the darkness.

 

“Hold your fire!” she shouted to her comrades.  She paused while the away team discontinued their assault.  She took a deep breath.  “Who are you and what do you want?” she asked angrily.  “We mean you no harm.”

 

“Your presence here is harmful,” a shrill voice called back.  “You threaten our way of life,” the voice asserted, punctuated by a fresh round of phaser fire. 

 

Kieran considered momentarily.  “Then let us return to our ship,” she offered hopefully.

 

“More of you will come,” the voice argued.  “With better weapons.”

 

“We didn’t even intend to come here,” Kieran shouted back.  “We were supposed to be in the Consulate building.”

 

The voice let out a sharp bark of laughter.  “We diverted your transporter signal.  You are exactly where we intended you to be.”

 

“Who are you?” Kieran reiterated.

 

No answer was forthcoming, and Janeway began to convulse at Kieran’s feet. 

 

Kieran knelt beside her, running her tricorder over the fallen woman.  “Computer,” she pleaded, “I forfeit the exam.  Discontinue the program and get the Captain to sickbay,” she tried to outsmart the program.

 

The computer ignored her, much as the disembodied alien voice from across the cavern.

 

Tuvok fumbled in his mission bag for medical supplies.  He slapped together another hypospray and administered it to the ‘Admiral’.   “We have to get out of this simulation,” he stated the obvious, “or she will die.”

 

Kieran was already scanning the terrain of the mine.  “There’s a service turbo lift down that corridor,” she nodded toward the opening.  “It will take us to the surface.  Maybe we can beam out from there--fool the program into thinking we’re really beaming back to the ship.”  She hesitated only momentarily before giving the order that could potentially get her child’s mother killed.  “Torres and Gaines are in the best position to create a diversion for us.”

 

Tuvok nodded.  “It’s worth a try.”  He slapped his comm badge.  “Tuvok to Torres.”

 

“Go ahead,” B’Elanna replied.

 

“Commander Thompson and I are going to make a break for the turbo lift.  The Captain is seriously wounded.  We might be able to transport back to the ship from the surface.  Cover us.”

 

“Understood,” B’Elanna closed the channel.  She set her phaser on ‘kill’.  “You heard the man,” she ordered Crewman Gaines.  “We have to give them an escape route,” she pressed tighter against the rocky alcove.  “On three.”

 

Tuvok and Kieran hoisted Kathryn, who was conscious again.  “I can help, if you steady me,” Janeway rasped.

 

The trio made it to the corridor just as a volley crossed behind them.  “Man,” Kieran gasped, still running.  “I felt that on my ass,” she complained.  “The shaft is straight ahead.”

 

They ran, half-dragging Kathryn along with them, pounding through the humid, foggy darkness.  When they reached the turbo lift, they collapsed in relief against the walls, the doors hissing shut and sealing the blazing heat away from them.

 

The surface of Rettia Major was completely opposite of the conditions of the mine.  As the turbo lift doors opened, Janeway lifted her head.  “God, no,” she groaned, looking groggily at the ice and snow covered terrain.

 

“What’s wrong?” Kieran shouted over the blustery tornado of ice particles whipping into her face.

 

Janeway shook her head.  “I hate snow,” she shouted back.

 

Kieran tapped her comm badge, but her hails to beam back to the ship went unanswered.  “Computer, end simulation,” she hollered over the howling wind.  “I forfeit the exam,” she added hopefully. 

 

“Unable to comply,” the neutral response echoed through the holodeck.

 

Tuvok almost scowled.  “We must find shelter, or the Captain will go into shock,” he fumbled for his tricorder, supporting Janeway and scanning simultaneously.  “There is a cave several meters east of that spire,” he pointed in the distance.

 

“Let’s go,” Kieran got a firm grip on Kathryn’s arm and set out for the shelter. 

 

The wind was so powerful, they had to lean into it to make headway.  Janeway faded in and out of consciousness, and the two healthier officers had their hands full trying to muscle her up the incline toward the mouth of the cave.  Snowflakes that were more ice crystal than flake stung their eyes and faces as they waded through a foot of snow, up the treacherous trail.

 

“One good thing,” Tuvok pointed out hopefully.  “The storm will cover our tracks.”

________________________

 

They sat huddled around a small campfire, grateful that someone had used the cave recently and left behind a supply of wood and a makeshift fire pit.  Kieran warmed her hands over the flame, then peeled off her uniform tunic and held it near the fire to warm it.  Once the fabric was hot, she wrapped it around Kathryn, trying to make her comfortable.

 

“Thank you,” Kathryn gazed up at her comrade.  “But you two really need to leave me and try to get into the city.  The Rettians will help us.”

 

“I’m not leaving you,” Kieran argued.

 

Tuvok nodded agreement.  “Commander Thompson is correct,” he barely kept his teeth from chattering.  “I will go.  You stay with the Captain and tend to her injuries,” he instructed Kieran as he rose to leave.

 

“Okay,” Kieran relented.  “But shouldn’t you wait 'til this storm lets up?  You could get lost.”

 

Tuvok tilted his head.  “My tricorder will direct me.  Our captors will be upon us as soon as the storm breaks.  Therefore, I cannot wait.”

 

Kieran stood to grasp his shoulder.  “Good luck, Tuvok.  Hurry,” she added, smiling.

 

Tuvok inclined his head and scurried away, blocking the gale from his eyes with his forearm.

 

Kieran retrieved her field rations and opened her canteen.   She knelt beside Kathryn, lifting the Captain’s head slightly to allow her to drink.  “How are you doing, Kat?” she asked, already knowing how bad it was.

 

Kathryn forced a wan smile.  “I’m cold, the rock under my ass is giving me a cramp, and it smells like something has been urinating in this cave,” she allowed.  “All things considered, I’m dandy.”

 

Kieran lifted her more, sliding her legs beneath the Captain’s body.  “Let me help,” she offered, hugging Janeway to her, both women facing the fire.  “Rest, Kat.  It will be okay.”

 

Janeway sighed. “I hope Chakotay is working on the damned holodeck controls,” she muttered, dozing off against the taller woman’s long, lean frame. 

 

“Me too,” Kieran added softly, hugging Kathryn to her with one arm and feeding sticks into the fire with the other.

 

_______________

 

Kieran wasn’t certain how long they’d been asleep, but the fire was merely embers now.  She stoked it once again, wondering if Tuvok had a chance in hell of getting into the city for help.  Kathryn’s breathing was ragged and labored, and Kieran was sure she could hear whistling inside the Captain’s chest wound.  She was amazed that Kathryn was alive at all.  She worried at her bottom lip, at a complete loss for how to get Janeway to safety and to the EMH.

 

Kieran had maneuvered the Captain’s limp body so that Kathryn’s head rested on Kieran’s thigh.  Kieran studied the faint lines in Kathryn’s brow, the implications of crow’s feet at the edges of her eyes, the slight creases around her lips.  We’re all getting older, she realized, touching her fingertip to Kathryn’s forehead.  But she’s too young to die.

 

“Penny,” Kathryn’s hoarse voice squeaked out the word.

 

Kieran started, then reached for her canteen.  “You need water, Kat,” she advised the older woman.  She tilted the flask carefully, watching the cracks in Kathryn’s lips disappear. 

 

When Kathryn had drunk her fill, she repeated the inquiry.  “I said, ‘Penny’,” she reminded the Lieutenant Commander.

 

Kieran shrugged, not really wanting to reveal her thoughts.  “I was wondering how you can be from Indiana and hate snow,” she lied.

 

Kathryn smiled weakly.  “I liked snow just fine, until Tau Ceti,” she reminded the Commander. 

 

Kieran arranged her uniform jacket more tightly around Kathryn’s shoulders, then fed the fire again, five fresh sticks inserted into the waning flames.  “Of course you hate it,” Kieran agreed.

 

Kathryn shook her head.  “I’m telling you now because I need you to tell my mother how sorry I am,” she gripped Kieran’s forearm, fighting for breath.  “I’m not going to last much longer.  Promise me, you’ll tell her what really happened.”

 

“No, Kat, you’ll tell her yourself,” Kieran argued.  “We’ll all sit around your Mom’s kitchen table, and eat caramel brownies, and you’ll tell her yourself.  You are not going to die, Kathryn.”

 

“Liar,” Kathryn grinned, though it cost her.  “It’s important to me, Kato.  Promise me,” she demanded, her eyes fierce and commanding.

 

“All right.  I promise.  But you have to hang on.  Tuvok will be here soon enough,” she said more to reassure herself than anything.  She kissed Kathryn’s forehead, gathering the frail Captain’s torso into her arms.  “Any minute now,” she clung to hope.

_____________________

 

Kieran Thompson had badgered the holodeck computer incessantly trying to get the program to end, but still, she and Kathryn Janeway shivered in the dark, dank cave with only their flimsy regulation clothing and a small fire to provide heat.  Kieran racked her brain for every possible permutation that might bring the scenario to an end.  It was rumored that most command training exams had some turning point in the simulation where the exam required the candidate to make a life or death decision, and that usually meant being willing to sacrifice a member of the crew.  That was how the bridge officer’s exam ended, Kieran knew.  Kieran thought that the order she gave in the mine, the one that endangered B’Elanna, was the key to the exam, but the program hadn’t ended.  She suspected that whatever glitch had cropped up in the code, it was preventing the simulation from ending, even though the exam objectives were fulfilled.

 

She poked the dying fire with her boot, trying to scare up some warmth from the embers.  They had run out of wood, and still, the storm outside raged.  She used her phaser to heat some of the stones around the fire pit, and that eased the creeping ache in her bones, if only for a temporary respite.  Kathryn was unconscious, had been for over an hour, and her breaths came so far apart, Kieran assumed death was imminent.  When Kathryn started to cough up blood, Kieran scrambled to treat her with another hypospray, but it had little effect.  She took the frail woman’s broken body into her arms, rocking them both, singing softly to her.

 

“Kat,” she whispered, though she knew the Captain couldn’t hear, “there’s so much left to work out between us,” she stated miserably.  “Don’t do this to me.  God, don’t do it to Naomi,” she begged.  “I never meant to betray your trust, but God help me, I love her, and I could no more walk away from her than I could decide to stop breathing.  I never wanted anything to come between us.  I never meant to disappoint you, and especially I never meant to hurt you,” she pleaded with the unconscious woman in her arms.  “What was I supposed to do?  Let Naomi stay in her final hallucination, rather than come back to reality?  Is that what you really wanted?  You’re the one that sent for me, damn you.  You’re the one that wanted me to get her to come back, and I did!  But I had to promise to be with her to get her to agree.  I knew if I lied to her, she’d have made her own damned cortical stimulators and she’d have checked right back out again.  I had no choice, Kathryn.  Why can’t you understand that, and know that it was not something I did to you?  It was only about Naomi, that’s all, and you wanted her back, and I got her back.  And now you hate me for it.  I see it in your eyes, I hear it in your voice.  You don’t trust me anymore.  You don’t accept me or what I feel for her.  You put up a front when you’re with us, but in your heart, you’ve closed me out.  Naomi and Seven think you’re trying, but I know it’s an act, because I know you.  I can see how much you despise the sight of me,” she sobbed. 

 

“And all I ever did was love you, Kathryn.  All I ever wanted was to be your friend, your colleague, to help you and the crew.  I’ve never turned you away, despite all the self-destructive things you’ve done over the years, even though it cost me dearly to have to watch.  I never refused you the love or acceptance you needed, even when you were hateful and cruel to Seven, or Naomi, or me.  But you were hurting Naomi and by trying to keep us apart, you forced me to break my word to her.  And I couldn’t break my word to her.  That’s the only time I’ve ever said a word or taken an action against you, Kathryn.  All you had to do was let us be, but you were too stubborn and stuck in your view of what life should be.  I had to file that lawsuit, Kathryn, or spend my life expectancy in the brig.  You left me no choice.

 

“I defended you when there was no defense for your behavior.  I helped convince Seven to give you another chance, when you didn’t deserve it.  And you have shut me out as coldly and completely as if we never meant anything to each other,” she closed her eyes, wincing from the painful realization.  “God, I thought I meant so much to you,” she gasped, crying so hard no sound came out.  “I thought you loved me as much as I’ve always loved you. I thought I was your best friend, your confidante,” she explained to no one.  “I thought you trusted me, knew me well enough to know I could never, ever do anything detrimental to Naomi.  Losing you has hurt worse than losing my relationship with B’Elanna,” she babbled on, needing to say the things Kathryn would never hear.  “You cannot die on me, Kathryn Janeway.  You owe me a second chance to redeem myself, God damn you, and you are not cheating me this time.  I won’t let you,” she slammed her hand on the ground angrily.  She pressed her lips to Kathryn’s hair, kissing it roughly.  “Please, Kat,” she cried harder.  “Don’t leave me.”

 

The night passed, and Kathryn stopped breathing shortly before dawn.  Kieran’s stomach churned with acid and anger, but no amount of resuscitation could restore her best friend’s pulse.  Kieran gave up when she was so exhausted that she passed out momentarily from the exertion.  Outside, the storm finally let up, and Kieran stood at the mouth of the cave, puzzled that their captors had not pursued them.  She knew she should leave Kathryn’s body, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.  She forced down a ration bar, though it threatened at the back of her throat.  She pushed it back into submission with a healthy mouthful of water, packed her supplies, and hoisted Kathryn from the rocky floor, struggling to balance the lifeless body over her shoulder.  She supposed it was stupid sentimentality, but she was going to see that Kathryn had a proper burial, even if it was inside a simulation. 

 

Down the mountain pass she staggered, muscles straining to the limit, footing precarious at best, but determined to see this through.  Periodically she queried the computer, asking if the controls were still offline, which the monotone voice dispassionately affirmed.  Her mind was simply numb.  She had let her Captain die, her closest friend, her mentor.  Voyager would be directionless without Kathryn Janeway at the helm.  Chakotay was capable, but the crew believed in Janeway, even after more than a decade of wandering about the Delta Quadrant.  Chakotay would never be able to command with the authority Janeway had.  Kieran stoutly refused to think about Naomi, Geejay, or Seven of Nine.  She could not afford the luxury of speculation and grief.  She had a body to carry.

 

Halfway down the mountain pass, the expected phaser fire whined past her.  She deposited Kathryn’s body behind a rock formation, scrambling for cover through the knee deep snow, so cold she could barely feel the phaser in her hand.  She crept up the craggy outcropping, where she could see her pursuers coming up the pass.  She spotted an overhang they were about to reach, shot at the loose boulders above them, and caused a small rockslide that sent them into a panic.  She shot them each in turn as they realized they were trapped, taking grim satisfaction in their pitiful attempts to escape.  She scuffled back down to where Kathryn’s body rested, reshouldered her burden, and trudged on, not even bothering to check the dead Rettians, other than to take their water and weapons.

 

When she reached the city limits of Rettia Major’s capital, she deposited Kathryn gently on the ground outside a small dwelling, pounded on the door until someone answered, and explained between gulps of air what had happened and who to contact.  Kieran’s artificial heart failed and she collapsed before the authorities could arrive.

____________________

 

“You really pushed that one to the limit, Doctor,” Chakotay’s tone was pure reprimand.  “She damn near died,” he continued hotly.

 

“YOU were the exam proctor, Commander,” the EMH shot back as he adjusted the gain on the vascular bypass instruments.  “I merely followed the exam protocol, and your orders,” he argued.  “She’s going to be fine,” he ran a medical tricorder over Kieran’s chest, “as soon as I get the new heart up and running.  Not to worry,” he sounded cheerful.  “Now get out of my way,” he curbed his annoyance only slightly, stepping around the burly First Officer.  “Besides, who’d have imagined she’d try to carry the Captain three miles in freezing conditions?”

 

“Is she going to make it?” Chakotay anxiously paced around the biobed for the hundredth time.

 

Naomi Wildman chimed in.  “She’ll make it.  This was nothing compared to that Maltanian disruptor,” she sounded confident.  “I hope you’ll both file a grievance over the testing ethics, though,” she fixed each man with a piercing gaze. 

 

“I intend to,” Chakotay agreed, his lips set in a grim line.

 

“So do I,” Kathryn Janeway interjected as she breezed into the sickbay.  “Watching myself die was brutal, and putting Kieran through that was insane,” she put her hand on Kieran’s forehead, as if to check for a fever.

 

The Doctor went to the replicator and retrieved Kieran’s new heart.  “I’m going to have to ask you all to step back outside the sterile field area and into the anteroom.  This operation will take quite awhile, so unless you’re planning to wait, you might want to find something to do for a couple of hours.”

 

Naomi shook her head, stepping back outside the boundary.  “I’m staying here.”

 

Kathryn slipped an arm around her shoulders, giving them a squeeze.  “I’ll wait, too.”

 

________________________

 

Kieran Thompson emerged from the gauzy blanket of anesthesia, chest intact and harboring a brand new mechanical heart, but even the artificiality of the device couldn’t prevent the weight that settled on her.  She blinked the lights away from her pupils, fighting to stay asleep.  Kathryn is dead.  I don’t want to tell them.  I failed.  I couldn’t save her. 

 

“Kieran,” Naomi leaned closer, touching a windburned cheek with the softest of kisses.  “My love,” she said quietly, “wake up.”

 

Kieran brushed at her face, as if she were fanning away an insect.  “Let me sleep,” she complained groggily.  “I don’t want to,” she added miserably, thinking of Kathryn.

 

Captain Kathryn Janeway sidled up on the opposite side of the biobed, resting a hand on Kieran’s shoulder.  “Kato,” she said throatily, “wake up.  That’s an order, Commander.”

 

Kieran’s eyes flew open wide and she tried to sit up all at once, but the aftereffects knocked her back flat.  “Kathryn?!” she grabbed the slight woman in a crushing hug, despite being woozy.  “How?  You died,” she accused, giving the Captain’s shoulders an impatient shake for good measure.

 

“I didn’t.  My hologram did.  You were the only real person in the holodeck,” she debriefed her newly promoted crewmember, whispering in her ear so Naomi couldn’t hear.  “Naomi, you’ll have to excuse us a moment, I need to debrief the Commander,” she dismissed her.

 

Naomi was not pleased at being sent away, but obediently went to the anteroom.

 

Kieran eased up this time, hugging her knees.  “I was the only real person?  How is that possible?  I met you at your quarters and we walked into the holodeck together.”

 

Kathryn grinned sheepishly.  “The transporter simulated beaming us to the planet, but at that moment, everyone was replaced by holograms except you.”

 

Puzzled, Kieran picked at a thread on her medical gown.  “But you were all so real.  Your hologram knew things about you that aren’t even in the database,” she whined, disbelieving. 

 

“The programming team did extensive interviews with the members of the crew you were most likely to select as team members for the exam, and programmed in their personalities.  As for the more--private details--Seven did the programming for that aspect of the holographic away team.  She programmed me,” Kathryn explained.

 

Kieran wasn’t certain if she was more relieved than angry.  “You tricked me into thinking you were dead?”

 

Kathryn blanched defensively.  “I didn’t trick you, Commander.  The simulation tricked you.  Whether or not I agree with the ethics is another matter.  You passed the exam, by the way.”

 

Kieran wasn’t sure she really cared, any longer, about having passed. 

 

“Your score was a 98,” Kathryn added hopefully.  “You lost points for carrying my body until you collapsed,” she pointed out helpfully.  She touched Kieran’s arm tentatively.  “Why in the world would you do that, Kato?”

 

Kieran shrugged.  “I owed it to Seven and Naomi and Geejay.  You know as well as I do that recovery of the remains of a fallen crewmember is important to the family’s emotional state.  It’s irrational, but it’s the way it is.”

 

“Ah, thinking like a Counselor, to the very end,” Kathryn noted, patting Kieran’s arm. 

 

“I suppose it was selfish, too,” Kieran admitted.  “I wasn’t going to leave you in that damned cave.  Carrying you was better than losing you, somehow.”  She gazed tiredly at her CO.  “What was the point of that simulation?  It makes no sense to me,” she complained.

 

Kathryn considered.  “It has all the standard components of a command final—it tested your physical endurance, your adherence to security protocol, your intelligence-gathering skills, your abstract reasoning.  You’d be surprised how many candidates never offer to forfeit the exam to save their superior officer,” she laughed.  “They stubbornly think they can outsmart the program, if they try long enough.  You figured out early on that nothing you did was going to change the outcome, and you turned your energy to survival.  It’s what you’re supposed to do.  But no one—and I mean no one in the testing protocol literature, ever figured out that Balen’s daughter was wired with explosives.  How the hell did you ever pick up on that?”

 

Kieran smirked.  “Naomi.  I know how a normal kid acts, and that kid was acting weird.  My mother used to call it having ants in your pants.  I could just tell something wasn’t right, and I saw Balen leave the greeting area just before she approached you.”

 

“Well, I was impressed.  So was Chakotay.  We just looked at each other and laughed.  He said your spirit guide must have spoken in your ear.”

 

Kieran closed her eyes again, exhausted.  “Seems more like torture than instruction.”

 

Kathryn nodded.  “In a sense, yes it does.  But you made it.”

 

Chakotay came in to check on his protégé, and leaned over the biobed, smiling.  “As soon as you’re up to it, I’m starting my leave, Commander,” he informed her.  “So get well soon,” he kissed her cheek.  “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to the bridge, ladies,” he bowed back out of the sickbay.

 

“Send my daughter back in here, Chakotay,” she called after him.  Kathryn smirked.  “Think he’s a bit anxious for his vacation?” she smarted.  She touched Kieran’s shoulder.  “I can’t wait to take you for a test drive, Kato.  I’ve been waiting for a long time for this opportunity.”

 

Naomi rejoined them, catching Kathryn’s last remark.  She kissed Kieran’s forehead.  “You always did look good in red,” she assured her partner.

 

Seven of Nine came in just then, smiling broadly to see Kieran sitting up.  She took one of Kieran’s hands gingerly.  “As soon as you’re up to it, we’re holding a dinner party in your honor, Commander.  Naomi and I will do the cooking.”

 

Kieran kissed Seven’s hand.  “Thanks, your Borgness.  I’d go through command school all over again if I knew your cooking was waiting at the end,” she complimented the statuesque beauty.

 

She was weak, but slid an arm around Naomi, pulling her close.  “Did you notice that I didn’t banish you from sickbay?” she asked.

 

Naomi kissed her cheek.  “Good thing.  I’d have killed you myself.”

 

Kathryn watched them together, a bit more at ease with them today, she realized, though her discomfort  seemed to come and go.  “I thought it might be nice,” she informed them, “if I promote you together,” she offered.

 

“What are you talking about?” Naomi asked.  “Together,” she reiterated.

 

“You’re due for a field promotion to Ensign, young lady,” Kathryn advised her.  “You’ve certainly earned it.  And Kieran is going to be a full Commander since she passed her exam.”

 

Naomi smiled winningly.  Then her brow furrowed.  “I don’t want to steal your thunder, honey,” she said to her beloved.

 

Kieran kissed her hair fondly.  “I don’t want to steal yours.  I don’t have any thunder, after that exam,” she said tiredly.

 

“I’d love to be promoted together,” Naomi admitted. 

 

Kieran grinned.  “Good.  Me too.”

 

The Doctor brushed away the women as if they were crumbs.  “Ladies, I need to check my patient, and she needs to sleep.  You can all come back in the morning,” he sounded like a mother hen.

 

Kieran rolled her eyes.  Some things never changed on Voyager.

 

_____________________

 

Sickbay, Kieran decided, was the most boring place on the ship, and she had spent entirely too much time there in her career.  She made a resolution not to end up back in there again.  She sighed, staring at the overhead lights.  Her heart readout was normal, and she couldn’t really see any reason to stay in bed.  She peered under the sheet, checking her chest.  The incision was healed, thanks to dermal regeneration, and her blood pressure was normal.  Her pulse was a bit fast, but overall, she felt reasonably well.  And then she remembered.

 

Cassidy Thompson had been with her, after she collapsed on Rettia.  She recalled setting Kathryn’s body against a cottage wall, knocking on the door, and explaining to the Rettian who she was and what she needed.  And then she had lost consciousness.  Her heart had failed.  And Cassidy had been there.

 

She recalled lying on the Rettian soil, staring up at the sky, and Cassidy’s face peering down at her.  She had said something, Kieran realized, something important.  One word.  Kieran squeezed her eyes tightly shut, picturing Cassidy’s lips as she spoke. She had said “home”.  

 

“What do you mean, Cass? Home?”

 

Cassidy smiled at her, green eyes glowing.  “You’re going home, Kelsey. I promised you you’d get there before your 34^th birthday, and you will.  I love you, Kels. I’m so proud of you.”

 

“Proud of me for what?” Kieran had taken her hand and led her to the creek in the meadow, filling her senses with the vision of her only sibling.

 

“You listened to your heart, and you let yourself love Naomi,” Cassidy smiled warmly at her. “I told you it would have terrible consequences, and it has, but you’re facing them.  She loves you, Kelsey. I’ve never seen anything like her love for you.”

 

Kieran nodded.  “I know.  Sieken showed me.  I’m trying to be worthy of her,” she admitted, grinning at her sister.  “God, Cass, I miss you.  If I’m really going home, it won’t be the same without you there.”

 

Cassidy gazed sympathetically at her, then drew her into a firm embrace.  “Your trials are just beginning, Kelsey, and you have to be strong.  Trust Naomi, trust her love, and trust yourself.  Listen to her, because she is wise beyond her years.  She is a very old soul, and she has insight you would never achieve without her to show you.  Let her be the partner she wants to be to you, Kelsey.  Help her reach her potential.  Then you will be worthy of her,” she counseled.

 

Kieran’s eyes filled with tears.  “I love you so much,” she clung to the smaller woman. “How could you leave me so young, Cass?  Isn’t it obvious how much I need you?  I always needed you.  You were my best friend.”

 

“I know, honey,” she cupped the back of Kieran’s head tenderly. “But there are others, now, and they will help you, if you let them.  Open your heart to them, Kelsey.  And I’m still here.  I hear every thought.  I’m watching over you.  I will never, ever leave you.”

 

Kieran’s eyes registered panic.  “I’m being pulled back there,” she realized.  “I can’t stay here.”

 

“I love you Kelsey,” Cassidy assured her.  “Clear around the world.”

 

Kieran gasped, pressing her fingers to her lips, overcome by the childhood phrase.  She had forgotten that Cassidy had always said that to her family as a little kid, as an expression of how big her love really was.   “Clear around the world, Cass,” Kieran echoed.

 

Kieran stared at the lights of sickbay, hugging herself.  She missed her sister fiercely, and the hurt never seemed to diminish.  And then she remembered something much more upsetting.

 

The exam.  She had poured her heart out to Kathryn Janeway’s hologram, while the real Kathryn Janeway listened to her cry over how much the Counselor loved her Captain.  Could I have been any more pathetic? She wondered.   Like she will ever respect me now.  She will just think I’m too weak for any practical purposes. 

 

Kieran lay back and closed her eyes.  Maybe sickbay wasn’t so bad, after all.

 

______________

 

“And the duty rosters have to be submitted by 0600 every Monday,” Chakotay was saying as he packed his valise.  “The Captain likes them on her desk when she arrives.  Double check for typos, because she gets really pissed if you misspell someone’s name,” he advised.

 

“Chakotay,” Kieran assured him, “I know how hard she is to work for.  Stop worrying.”

 

“Disciplinary measures get filed in triplicate,” he ignored her, continuing to lecture. “One report to the Captain, one to Tuvok, and one to the Ship’s Counselor--oops, you know that already, sorry,” he shoved underwear into his travel case.

 

Kieran stopped his hands, taking them in her own.  “You have trained me for this, Commander.  I’m ready for it.  Now please, go to the holodeck and have the best damned vacation you could ever imagine,” she kissed his cheek.  “It will be fine.”

 

He smiled, exhaling. “Okay.  You’re right.  But I’m only a hail away,” he reminded her.

 

“Yes, Sir,” she snapped to attention.

 

“Hey,” he grinned fondly, his tattoo crinkling.  “You don’t have to call me Sir, anymore.  I don’t outrank you,” he chuckled, ruffling his hand through Kieran’s unruly blonde hair.

 

She grinned back.  “Yeah.  So get your ass to the holodeck, you old shaman,” she teased him.  “Don’t forget to take Hakoochimoya’s bones,” she joked.

 

Only she could say something so insensitive and not offend the burly man.  “I’m taking something much better,” he dropped his voice.  “Claren James’ bones, to jump,” he waggled his eyebrows.

 

“Really?” Kieran crowed, slapping his back as he hoisted his suitcase.  “You go, Chakotay!” she enthused.

 

“Really,” he said.  “I think somebody should be having some fun besides you and your lovely fiancée,” he told her.

 

“Hey, you’re still coming to the Captain’s Ball, aren’t you?” she escorted him down the hall toward the holodeck.

 

“Of course I am,” he kissed her cheek good-bye.  “I wouldn’t miss your announcement for the world.”

 

“Thanks, Commander,” Kieran said warmly.  “Have the time of your life,” she added, seeing Claren approaching from down the corridor.

 

He gave her a feral smile.  “Oh, I intend to,” he chuckled.

 

___________________

 

“Assemble your away team, Number One,” Captain Kathryn Janeway sounded nonchalant as she gave out orders to her acting first officer, Kieran Thompson.

 

Kieran smiled, delighted to have the opportunity to stretch her wings under Janeway’s watchful eye.  “Seven, you’re with me,” she gestured toward the turbo lift and tapped her comm badge.  “Thompson to Ensign Wildman.  Meet me at the Delta Flyer, we’re going mining.”  She grinned at Seven as they stepped into the lift and closed the channel again.  “Do you have any recommendations?”

 

Seven appreciated the inquiry.  “I think the three of us can handle the task at hand, Commander,” she replied, feeling proud of her friend.  “If I haven’t told you yet, you look stunning in red, and that third gold pip suits you.”

 

Kieran took her arm, giving it an affectionate squeeze.  “Thank you, your Borgness,” she smiled warmly at her future mother-in-law.  “Will you check the Flyer and make sure we’re fully stocked with provisions and water and weapons?”

 

“Aye, Sir,” Seven couldn’t hide the faint curl at the edge of her lips.  “Permission to speak freely?”

 

“Seven—it’s me,” she laughed.  “You can say whatever you like.”

 

“Are you afraid of another incident like the one with B'Elanna and I when we went looking for ore?” she teased.

 

“Of course not.  It’s just protocol to make sure we have supplies, in case worse comes to worst,” Kieran replied.

 

Naomi was already waiting at the Delta Flyer, geological survey equipment at the ready.  “Ensign Wildman reporting as ordered, Commander,” she stood at attention. 

 

“Na,” Kieran grinned.  “You’re adorable.  At ease.  Was B'Elanna miffed that I didn’t pick her for this mission?”

 

“I don’t think so,” Naomi supplied.  “She winked and told me not to forget that if Seven gets in trouble, I’ll look really good with Borg implants,” she giggled.

 

Seven’s eyebrow arched elegantly.  “I forbid either of you to assimilate yourselves, regardless of the circumstances.  B'Elanna’s brak’lul was the only reason she survived the experience,” she referred to a Klingon’s physiological redundancies, something that had allowed B'Elanna to save Seven’s life when Seven died on an away mission.  “Besides,” she touched her lovely daughter’s cheek, “you are pale enough without taking on the pallor that is characteristic of a freshly assimilated drone.”

 

“Are we ready, ladies?” Kieran helped them both aboard, though it was unnecessary.  “I’m flying this mission, Seven, so get your fanny out of the pilot’s chair,” she scolded playfully.

 

“Sorry, Sir,” Seven rolled her eyes so only Naomi could see, which sent the Ktarian off on a fit of laughter.

 

Kieran scowled at them both, a humorous glint in her eye.  “I think neither of you shows the appropriate respect for your commanding officer.  I may have to put you both on report.  Thompson to the Captain,” she hailed, sticking her tongue out at her colleagues. 

 

“Go ahead, Commander,” Kathryn came back.

 

“Delta Flyer is ready to depart.  Permission to launch?” she requested.

 

“Granted, at your discretion.  Hurry back, Kieran,” Kathryn waved as if they could see her.

 

“Course laid in and ready for departure,” Kieran announced. 

 

 

The planet they were slated to visit wasn’t far from Voyager’s coordinates, but B'Elanna wanted to do some systems maintenance, and the diagnostics that needed to be run required the ship to be at station keeping.  Considering that technicality, and the fact that Commander Thompson needed away mission experience, Janeway elected to send her acting number one on an away mission, rather than take the entire ship off course to search for the ores critical to propulsion systems.

 

Kieran was only too happy to venture off the ship, since they had been cooped up on Voyager for months after leaving Qian.  All the time they had spent there, being free and wandering that lovely planet, made Voyager seem restrictive and confining, and even Seven was spoiling to get off the ship.  Naomi was so excited to be going on her second away mission, she was practically bouncing in her seat.

 

“Ensign,” Kieran tossed her a PADD as she engaged the autopilot, “calculate our ETA.”

 

Naomi blanched.  “But Commander, the Delta Flyer has that information—” she protested.

 

“I know that, Naomi.  I want you to do the calculations.  Suppose controls were offline?  You have to be able to do things manually, and not rely on your instruments and computer support, all the time.”

 

“Yes, Commander,” she nodded vigorously.  “I didn’t mean to challenge your orders.”  She checked the coordinates of the planetoid and the coordinates of Voyager.  “Present speed?”

 

“Impulse,” Kieran replied.

 

Naomi nodded.  “ETA three hours, at present speed.”

 

“Incorrect,” Seven supplied.  “ETA is two hours, fifty-four minutes.  You forgot to subtract the distance we’ve already traveled from the ship.”

 

“Increasing to Warp 2,” Kieran punched in the data.  “Recalculate, Ensign.”

 

Naomi punched in information, this time subtracting Voyager’s distance from them with a factorial built in for the speed they were traveling.  “ETA is Forty-five minutes, twenty seconds,” she replied.

 

“Excellent,” Seven praised her, then covered her mouth.  “Sorry, Commander,” she apologized to Kieran.

 

Kieran nodded.  “Nicely done, honey,” she said to Naomi.  “Okay, drop the protocol.  First name basis from here out.  I hate formality.”  She checked the chronometer.  “Seven, run some sensor scans and make sure we’re clear of company.  Neelix says there’s nothing in this region of space, but I hate surprises.  Na, I’m starving.  Would you program something amazing into the replicator?”

 

“Sure, sweetie.  What do you feel like?” Naomi kissed her forehead as she stood to go.

 

“Your split pea soup would be good, and a grilled cheese sandwich,” Kieran decided.  “Seven, what’ll you have?”

 

“The same, thank you,” she worked over her board, checking for ion particles, plasma and warp signatures, and any other telltale signs of ships around them. “Sensors show no signs of intelligent life, save for the three of us, Commander, and I’m not sure we qualify,” she quipped.

 

Kieran burst out laughing.  “Damn, Seven, you’re getting to be so funny,” she smacked her thigh.  She could hear Naomi laughing in the aft section of the craft.  “I just love how much you’ve embraced your humanity,” she smiled fondly at her friend.

 

Seven grinned.  “I pay attention.  I have learned a good deal about humor from you, from B'Elanna and from Noah.”

 

Kieran shook her head.  “You didn’t get it from me, sweetie.  I’m not funny, I’m a smart aleck.  Ask Kathryn.  She’ll be the first to tell you that,” she smirked.  “Really, your Borgness.  It just warms my heart to see how far you’ve come,” she reached for Seven’s mesh-encased hand, squeezing it.  “I’m so glad we’re going to be family.”

 

“Presuming Naomi stays engaged to you, yes,” she allowed, a wicked grin on her face.  “I wouldn’t count any chickens before they are out of the embryonic shell.”

 

Kieran snorted.  “Hatched.  The phrase is ‘don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched’, Seven.  I thought you had eidetic memory,” she regarded the Borg with mild amusement.

 

“I thought so, too, but lately I find I cannot recall things with precision, as I always have in the past.  It is puzzling.  Perhaps in becoming more human, I am losing the advantages of being Borg,” she speculated.

 

“Maybe,” Kieran allowed.  “Have you asked the Doctor about it?”

 

“He is aware of the changes in me,” she nodded.  “My nanoprobes are also becoming less efficient, and that is concerning.  They do not immediately repair damage, any longer, as if they are pondering the situation before they get to work,” she reached out to accept her lunch from Naomi.

 

“He’s not overly concerned?” Kieran pressed.  She took her tray from Naomi, motioning Seven to the table in the aft section of the Flyer.  “Thanks, honey,” she kissed Naomi’s cheek.  “It smells great.”

 

“He is not worried, but he is vigilant,” Seven reported.

 

When they had finished lunch, Kieran contacted the ship.

 

“Delta Flyer to Voyager,” she hailed.

 

“Janeway here, go ahead.”

 

“Captain, I was thinking that since Voyager needs extended down-time, this might be a good opportunity to put Ensign Wildman through the first two piloting modules.  I'm a little concerned about having an away team member that can't fly in an emergency situation,” she explained her rationale.

 

Janeway considered.  “That's an excellent idea.  Put her through the first two training modules and the emergency module, Commander.   When she's finished and you've resumed course, advise me.  Transmit your current coordinates so we can track your progress.”

 

“Aye, Captain, transmitting,” she keyed the controls to submit their location.  “Transmitted, Captain.”

 

“Tell Naomi good luck with her driving,” Janeway laughed.  “Voyager out.”

 

Kieran turned to her fiancée, smiling.  “I learned from my Dad.  You're going to learn on the job, sweetie.  Go log into the training simulator at the helm.  If you have any questions, or get stuck, interrupt me.  Seven and I are going to lounge around while you practice.”

 

Naomi looked decidedly unsettled.  “I'm going to have control of the Delta Flyer?”

 

Kieran nodded, her angular features showing her amusement at Naomi’s nervousness. “Within the limits of the training module, yes.  The parameters are pretty tight, though, so don't be afraid you'll ram us into an asteroid or anything. The computer will alert me if anything is amiss.”  Kieran sat her down in the pilot's seat, and punched in an access code. “You're all set.  Your tutorial will play on this display, and it's fully interactive.  They're fun.  Try and enjoy yourself.  I'm right back here, sweetie, so don't fret.”  She kissed her lover’s cheek, conveying her faith in the younger woman.

 

Naomi studied the introduction and nodded.  “Okay, Commander.  It's your funeral.”

 

Kieran joined Seven on a retractable bunk in the aft section of the Flyer's crew cabin.  “While she's learning to be Captain Proton, you and I can catch up, your Borgness,” she grinned.

 

“I appreciate your attentiveness to Naomi's education,” Seven touched Kieran's sleeve as the taller Commander hopped up on the bunk beside the Borg.

 

“That's the first officer's job, Seven,” she returned.  “Crew training and development.”

 

“Commander Chakotay never thought to train Naomi to pilot,” Seven pointed out, sounding a bit impatient.

 

Kieran nodded. “Well, she only got her field promotion recently, and I'm sure he'd have gotten around to it,” she defended her fellow command officer.  “So tell me how things are going at home,” she invited, thinking it had been far too long since they'd discussed the state of Seven's relationship. “Have things smoothed out since you vacated the cargo bay and moved back home?”

 

Seven debated exactly how forthcoming she wanted to be.  “You are no longer wearing your blue counselor's uniform,” Seven replied, hesitant.

 

“Does that matter? I'm still your friend, your Borgness.  I was the one who talked you into reconciling with Kathryn, and I want to make sure I didn't give you bad advice.”

 

“All right,” Seven agreed. “But I need to know that everything I tell you is in strict confidence,” she qualified her remarks.

 

“Seven, that’s a given with me—with us.  You never have to worry that I’ll run to Kathryn with anything you tell me.  You know things about me that she would kill me over, and I trust you,” she beseeched.

 

“That’s true.  Kathryn would have your head if she knew about Naomi and Sieken, and how you helped her sneak away to meet her,” Seven agreed.  “So in answer to your original question, I would have to say that Kathryn and I have our moments, but we still struggle for common ground.  Our communication is better, and I am not hiding things from her, as much as I was before.”

 

“You mean because you aren't keeping secrets about Naomi?”

 

Seven realized Kieran had no idea that there were other things she kept from her wife.  “Yes,” she answered hastily.  “And I am trying to make myself more open to her. But there are old wounds, between us, now, and those still cause concerns.”

 

“Such as?” Kieran asked gently.

 

“Such as Kathryn's absence when Naomi was ill.  I still can't get past feeling like she pushed her responsibilities off on you and I, and I find that when I come upon a difficulty, a dilemma, my instinct is to seek you out, not her,” she confessed, her brow furrowing slightly.

 

“Then why haven't you, Seven?” Kieran inquired softly. “I am always available to you, whether I'm wearing red or blue.  We are family.”

 

Seven shrugged noncommittally. “I am trying to force myself to deal with things on my own, or directly with Kathryn.”

 

Kieran frowned. “While I applaud the effort to share things with Kat, I don't want you to think you can't come to me, or that you should shoulder your troubles alone, sweetie.”

 

Seven considered momentarily, nodding.  “It’s just that I do not want to divert your attention from your duties, or your new relationship,” she explained.  “I do not want to burden you.”

 

Kieran was stunned.  “Seven,” she said firmly, “you will never be a burden to me.  If I haven't made it perfectly clear to you, I apologize,” she said with feeling. “I love you, your Borgness.  I have always considered you a dear friend, and I don't want our relationship to change because I'm going to marry your daughter.”

 

“It's not just that,” Seven contended, her eyes averted.

 

“What, then?” Kieran urged her to open up.

 

“The lingering tension between you and Kathryn makes me reluctant to seek you out,” she confided, though it was only half the truth of the matter.

 

“You think she'll see our closeness as some sort of betrayal?” Kieran guessed.

 

“Yes,” Seven agreed, thinking betrayal was the perfect characterization of the concern.  She resolved to test the waters. “Please, Kieran, do not be angry, but Kathryn thinks—”

 

Kieran studied the fearful expression of her friend. “Thinks what?” She prompted.  “Seven,” she gentled her tone, “please, trust me.”

 

“Kathryn thinks you and I have romantic feelings for one another,” she said softly.

 

“She said that to you?”

 

“Not as politely as that,” Seven replied.

 

Kieran scowled contemptuously.  “And you couldn't convince her otherwise?”

 

“I would not presume to speak on your behalf,” Seven said quietly.  “Although I have tried to reassure her that I love her, and have no intention of leaving her.”

 

Kieran sensed an undercurrent that Seven wasn't admitting, though she couldn't put her finger on precisely what it was.  The former Borg drone's expression was an attempt to mask her emotional strain.  Kieran also knew she wasn't saying what Seven wanted or needed to hear.

 

“Kathryn and I have discussed many times that between good friends, there is always some element of attraction.  She should not interpret the attraction I feel to you as any sort of threat, and certainly I do not have romantic feelings for you.”  Kieran noted the barely concealed desolation in Seven’s face.  “Your Borgness,” she took both of her hands,  “you do know how I feel about you, don't you?”

 

Seven met her sensitive brown eyes momentarily, searching them for anything deeper.  “I believe you when you tell me you care for me, and I trust that we are family to one another.  I am fairly confident there is nothing more to it,” she added, trying not to sound disappointed but not entirely succeeding.

 

Kieran realized the vulnerability the admission revealed, if only for the briefest of moments.

 

“In fact, there is a good deal more,” Kieran assured her, determined to protect Seven’s feelings. “I don't just care for you, Seven.  I admire and respect and sincerely trust you. You're captivating and brilliant and devastatingly beautiful.  I don't believe anyone with functioning eyes could avoid being attracted to you, and certainly, I've felt that on any number of occasions.  But I don't dwell on it, and I don't let myself think, do, or say inappropriate things.  If I ever do, I would expect you to tell me immediately, because I never want to make you uncomfortable,” she insisted.  “My feelings for you are not, however, romantic, as Kathryn mistakenly believes. Romantic feelings imply that I think there's some chance you and I might be intimately involved with one another, and I have never believed that for a moment.  After all, in all the alternate realities I visited, you were never foolish enough to choose me for your lover,” she teased.  “But I do feel tremendous love and affection for you.”

 

Seven smiled gratefully.  “I feel the same about you,” she affirmed.  “And if I never chose you in any of those other universes, it was my own foolishness,” she assured the Commander.  “I know I am not good at expressing my feelings.  I was conditioned to live without them, most of my life, and now that I don’t have the luxury of the collective’s objectivity, I find myself inadequate to the task, and fearful of saying the wrong thing, or misstating something, so I don’t often try to put my feelings into words.  Sadly, I’ve come to realize that in being reticent, I deprive those I love of the benefit of my affection.”

 

Kieran regarded her with kind eyes.  “You can say anything to me, Seven, and I promise, if I am unclear about your intentions, I will ask, and I won’t assume anything.”

 

“Are you suggesting I practice on you?” Seven laughed lightly.

 

“You could,” Kieran nodded, smiling.  “I’m pretty safe, don’t you think?”

 

“You make me feel more safe than anyone ever has, except Naomi,” she agreed.  She considered for a while, then added, “Kathryn seems to think that just because I am attracted to you that necessarily constitutes a threat to her.”

 

“I'm sorry if Kathryn misinterprets that, or makes your lot in life harder because of it,” Kieran said sympathetically.  “Kathryn of all people should understand how similar friendship and attraction can be.  We’ve certainly discussed it, in the context of the fact that one of the Kieran Thompsons I know of was married to her.  It’s a shame she can’t extrapolate from her own awareness of the attraction between us, to the attraction between you and I.  Does she accuse you of things, like she did when Rachel McVicker had a crush on you?”

 

“Not per se.  But she has made observations that are stated as if they are fact.  And I have trouble allaying her fears now because I cannot deny that I have depended upon you and needed you in ways she would never allow me to need or depend upon her.  I trust you more than I trust her.”

 

“Has she given you reason to distrust her, Seven?” Kieran asked.

 

“Many reasons,” Seven admitted.  “Not the least of which is that her reactions are so volatile, at times, that I am afraid to open myself to her.  I know that no matter what I say to you, you will not scream at me, or become verbally abusive.  You are always patient and considerate with my feelings.  Kathryn is rarely consistent in her reactions, and I never know which version of her I’m dealing with, day-to-day.  It’s a peculiar thing, Kieran.  There are times when she is, for example, calm and accepting of your relationship with Naomi, and then suddenly, she will be upset over it all over again.  I can’t understand that.”

 

“Me either,” Kieran agreed.  “But I do know that you should not tolerate verbal abuse,” she squeezed and released Seven’s hands.  “Not ever.  If she is not respectful, you should make it clear she has to be at least that.”

 

“Didn’t you tolerate it with B'Elanna?” Seven asked frankly.

 

Kieran sighed.  “Did I?  I don’t know that she was ever truly abusive—she never belittled me directly.  But she did have a way of making me feel so worthless, at times, that it felt abusive.  In all fairness to her, though, the worthless feelings came from me, and not her, and they made me flash back on P’Arth, so I can’t really say that was B'Elanna’s fault.”  She bit her lip, thinking of her ex-wife.  “I always knew in my heart that B'Elanna loved me, but I have to admit, I felt she didn’t always respect me.  But that’s a common problem with Klingons.  They think everyone is weak, and B'Elanna certainly thought that of me.”

 

“You are not weak,” Seven leapt to her defense, her tone immediately protective.  “B'Elanna does not understand what constitutes true strength,” she asserted.  “She erroneously believes it lies in physical brutality and in antagonism, when in fact, it lies in love.  And you understand love perfectly,” she said with a distinct edge of longing. 

 

Kieran gazed into glacier blue eyes, so fierce in their loyalty she was breathless.  “Seven,” her throat tightened, “you touch my heart,” she brushed her knuckles against the Borg’s implant scarred cheek. 

 

Seven could not withstand the tenderness in Kieran’s face, and she closed her eyes against the emotion that Kieran’s caress dredged up.  Without thinking to edit herself, defenseless in the pull of what she felt, the former drone held Kieran’s hand against her cheek, kissing the long fingers that rested against her skin, fingers that felt more flawless than any Omega particle.  “I am trying to learn to harbor a love as perfect, and if I gain any understanding, it will come from you and from Naomi,” she murmured.  “So you must not let your history with B'Elanna color your perceptions of yourself.  I love her dearly, but the weak one in your marriage was her.”

 

Kieran swallowed hard, watching the depth of emotion working in Seven’s face.  Perhaps Kathryn was right to be concerned, if Seven’s feelings were as strong as they now appeared to be.  Discreetly, delicately, Kieran pulled her hand away, putting just enough physical distance between them that Seven could regain her composure. 

 

“I’ll keep telling myself B'Elanna’s opinion was tainted,” Kieran agreed.  “As for you and Kathryn, keep pushing her to communicate, keep reassuring her of your devotion, and things will work themselves out.  I know it’s hard to forgive her for the ways she failed you, especially when Naomi was sick, but you have to let that go, now.  Hopefully, Kathryn realizes her mistakes, and has learned from them.  Everyone deals with grief differently, and unfortunately, Kathryn’s method wasn’t one that helped you deal with yours.”

 

Seven fixed her with a penetrating look.  “You helped me deal with my grief, because you shared yours.  That is all I wanted of Kathryn.  I didn’t care who cleaned up the vomit, or who recycled the sheets, or who held Naomi’s hand.  But I wanted, at the very least, an acknowledgment of her own grief, and a validation of my own.  That is what I can’t seem to forgive.  If you could give me that, how could my wife deny it to me?”

 

“I don’t mean to defend her, Seven.  But grief can be so consuming, and Kathryn couldn’t afford to be consumed by anything.  She knew the specter of grief, because she grappled with it when Edward and Justin died, and she was right to fear its power.  And it is so much more devastating when it’s a child, because they are innocent and helpless and blameless.  Don’t think for a second that it didn’t take every inner resource at my disposal to keep me from running and hiding my sorrow, at the time.  The instinct, the impulse were right there at the surface, the whole time.  It was a perpetual struggle,” she admitted.

 

“But you didn’t run,” Seven confirmed the truth.  “You faced it with me, and you made it bearable.  I had never known loss of that sort, but you got me through it.  The night Naomi awoke from her coma, I was so certain, when I heard your cries, that she had died.  And I am ashamed, because I felt—relief.  Her illness had become so drawn out, I couldn’t take anymore.  That was the only time I had any insight into Kathryn’s response to the situation.  It was the only time I was as cowardly as her.  And you never stopped believing Naomi would live.”

 

“Oh, yes I did, Seven,” Kieran assured her.  “I stayed with her, but I was certain that the second I stopped talking to her through her unconsciousness she would pass away.  I talked for days, and then I gave in to exhaustion.  I gave up on her, as surely as you and Kathryn had, because I let myself sleep, even knowing that would be her one chance to give in to death.  Don’t canonize me yet,” she berated herself.  “And I was the worst sort of coward, in the end. Naomi begged me to tell her it was okay for her to die—she needed to hear that from me.  And I would not give her permission, because I was too selfish to let go.  So before you tell yourself Kathryn was a coward, look at me and convince me I was not.  Because I know I was.”

 

Seven hugged her close, wishing she could, in fact, convince her.  “Perhaps, none of us were to blame for any of our actions.  The circumstances were simply too difficult.  I will try to forgive Kathryn, and move beyond my resentment, if you think that’s best.”

 

“I think it’s imperative, if you’re going to make your marriage work,” Kieran stated firmly.

 

___________________

 

Naomi Wildman completed the flight simulator tutorial while Seven and Kieran talked.  They resumed course to an uninhabited planet that was tucked behind an asteroid belt in a solar system that had only four planets in orbit.  The target they were headed for was a Class M sphere much larger than Earth, but with no signs of sentient life.  They scanned repeatedly, puzzled that there were no intelligent beings there.

 

Seven looked up from her instruments.  “I believe I understand why it is not populated,” she reported, checking her survey.  “Impact craters over the face of the planet would suggest that every time sentient life evolves, it gets obliterated.  Wait,” she stopped short.  “There is an artificial structure on the planet.  It appears to be a monument of some sort,” she advised.

 

“Let’s take a closer look,” Kieran suggested, taking the Flyer into the atmosphere.  “Ensign, report,” she cast the command over her shoulder.

 

“I’m picking up all the ore we could ever want, Commander.  The atmosphere is oxygen rich, richer than anything we’re used to.  Plenty of water, life signs are limited to invertebrate forms of life, from what I can tell.  The tectonic plates are stable, so we’re not in any danger of earthquakes,” Naomi replied.

 

“I would estimate that it has been two million years since the last catastrophic impact, but the planet experiences frequent non-catastrophic ones,” Seven put in.  “I am searching the asteroid belt for objects with decaying orbits.  It appears we are safe, for now,” she calculated the risk.

 

“There’s the edifice,” Kieran breathed as they approached the towering structure.  “It looks like the Washington Monument in D.C.,” she pointed out.  “Oh, sorry, neither of you have ever seen that,” she realized.  “I’m going to set down beside it, see if it gives us any clues about what it’s for,” she decided. 

 

“Commander,” Seven hesitated to speak, but felt bound by her duty.  “Shouldn’t you report to Voyager before we investigate this object?”

 

Kieran smiled.  “Thanks, Seven, we should.  I almost got carried away by the excitement of the moment,” she nodded.

 

 

When the hatch of the Delta Flyer deployed, Naomi Wildman gasped.  “Kieran,” she murmured.  “I recognize this place.  Do you?”

 

Kieran shook her head, dark brown eyes skeptical.  “How could I?”

 

Naomi pointed in the distance.  “Look at that copse over there,” she urged.

 

“I’m sorry, honey, it doesn’t look familiar.  But it does to you?” she asked softly, seeing the fear in her lover’s face.

 

“My nightmare—or hallucination—or whatever it was on Qian, with the Hirogen,” Naomi reminded her.  “That’s where they ran us all down,” she shuddered, thinking of the scaly-faced hunters.

 

Kieran nodded.  “It does look—similar, I’ll admit.  Let me contact the ship and set up an hourly check-in, out of an abundance of caution,” she decided.

 

They contacted Voyager, and the amusement threaded Janeway’s tone as she indulged the Commander’s fancy.  “You think you’ve landed in the middle of Naomi’s nightmare?” Kathryn asked, trying not to chuckle.  “Really, Kieran, I thought you were above superstition.”

 

“Captain, I have your wife and daughter with me.  I would rather err on the side of caution and look foolish to you than be sorry,” Kieran tempered her tone.  “Naomi is adamant that this is the same place.”

 

“Very well, Commander.  If you miss the hourly communication we’ll come riding to the rescue.  Janeway out,” she severed the link.

 

Naomi touched Kieran’s sleeve, eyes wide.  “Thanks, honey,” she offered.

 

Kieran kissed her cheek.  “No problem.  Let her laugh all she wants.  I’m not taking any chances.  Let’s go check out that—whatever it is,” she decided.

 

The object rose above them the height of a six-story building, but the diameter was smaller than the Delta Flyer.  The structure had strange markings around the base and at eye level, and Kieran had to assume she was looking at an alien language.  She touched the inscribed text, and as she did, the three women were engulfed in a brilliant orange light that shot out from the object itself.  They fell to the grassy ground around the monument, unconscious.

___________________

 

The Hirogen ship had been tailing Voyager for the better part of two years.  The Alpha had harshly and repeatedly punished his crew for questioning his wisdom and reasoning, but now that their prey was effectively cut off from its mother ship, the crew was spoiling for a good, bloody hunt.

 

The Alpha, a male who was as statuesque as Seven of Nine, gloated over his second in command’s lack of faith.  “I told you, the best hunter studies his prey, regardless of the personal cost or the time involved.  And you tried to tell me we should embrace the holographic hunt, like the fools who negotiated with Janeway,” he crowed.  “What good are holographic skeletons and skulls?  My nekreg will not hold holograms, but it will hold Borg implants,” he said smugly.  “I have long wanted that woman in my collection,” he launched himself from the command chair, pacing, ranting, and raving.  “Her optical implant will be glorious in her skithed skull,” he could picture the metal gleaming from the netted trophy wall in his quarters.

 

“How can you be sure she is on that shuttle?” the second wanted to know.

 

His smile was as belligerent as his laugh.  “I can feel her.  After months and months of tracking them, I feel her, wherever she goes.  She is on that ship, I guarantee it,” he replied.  “Besides, she has a distinct biosignature.  I detected it when they launched.”

 

“Let us hope they have not detected us,” the second offered.  “I can only do so much to mask our warp signature.”

 

“You had better not let them detect us, or I will take you apart with my skith, myself, and hang your head in my nekreg as a warning to this entire crew.  You will not deprive me of this glory, Dregeer,” he hissed.  “Helm,” he barked, “shadow them.  They appear to be headed for that solar system ahead.”

 

___________________

 

Kieran Thompson, Naomi Wildman, and Seven of Nine were in some sort of commemorative program, a tribute to the civilization that had once existed on the planet where they were lying unconscious, a memorial to the people who had evacuated their homes when a huge asteroid threatened to impact their oceans and send enough water over the shores and into the air to destroy every living thing, save for the marine creatures.   This structure was invincible to anything but a direct impact by just such an asteroid, and remained to tell travelers the tale of the lost inhabitants.  In a matter of moments, the entire history and culture of the people played through the minds of the three prone women.

 

When Naomi Wildman opened her eyes into the glaring sun, she was face to face with a Hirogen hunter. 

 

“Get up, prey,” he kicked her hard, making her jump to her feet.  “I will give you and your companions a head start,” he said smugly.  “Once you reach that wooded area, the hunt will be on,” he shoved her in the direction of the trees in the distance.

 

Kieran was just awakening, and the Hirogen dragged her to her feet.  “You will make a fine addition to my nekreg,” the fetid-breathed alien assured her.

 

“This one is not responding.  Is she dead?” the Alpha demanded.  “Dregeer, assist me,” he ordered imperiously. 

 

Seven of Nine was coming around, and found herself suspended between the two huge men.  “Get your hands off of me,” she snatched her arms free of their grip.

 

“My Borg, you will be the jewel of my collection,” the Alpha waxed joyous.  “Hurry, prey, run,” he shoved her toward Kieran and Naomi.

 

Kieran’s heart was thundering in her chest.  “Jesus Christ, Na, I hope your dream turns out the way it did on Qian,” she said under her breath as they ran for the woods. 

 

“They didn’t take our weapons,” Seven noted, sprinting alongside them.  “I say we take cover behind that outcropping and take our chances.”

 

“Works for me, your Borgness,” Kieran agreed.  “Na, I hope you shoot as well in battle as you do on the Velocity court,” she grabbed her fiancée’s hand as they hurried along the grassy field toward the copse.

 

Naomi was too terrified to reply.

 

 

The second in command dropped on the first volley, and Kieran grinned at Naomi.  “Nice shot, sweetie,” she said with pride.  “Listen to him scream.”

 

She popped up over the rocky barrier, shooting at the Alpha.  “Die, you scaly bastard,” she said under her breath.  “Seven, how long until Voyager realizes we haven’t checked in?”

 

“My estimate would be forty minutes.  But I am not certain how long we were unconscious,” she admitted, easing over the pile of boulders to squeeze off several shots.  “Their armor makes them difficult to wound,” she noted.  “I hit the Alpha and he shook it off,” she said, awed.

 

Kieran assessed the situation.  “We should try to slow them down and fall back to the woods,” she decided.  “Can you both climb trees, if need be?”

 

Naomi nodded.  “I did on Grailen,” she swallowed her fear.

 

“I have never attempted it,” Seven shrugged, “but I will improvise if I have to.”

 

“Then let’s go, they’re gaining on us,” Kieran spun Naomi around.  “You first, honey, I’ve got your gorgeous ass,” she ordered, providing cover as Naomi bolted from the shelter of the rock pile.  “Seven, go,” she stayed behind to take several parting shots, hitting the Alpha again.  This time the shot penetrated his armor, wounding his targeting arm.  “Gotcha, snake-face,” she growled, sweat pouring down her forehead and into her eyes.  She wiped impatiently at it.  “Fucking humidity,” she spat, taking off to catch up with her companions.

 

The woods were so thick and dark, sunlight could hardly penetrate the branches overhead, and the shade cooled the three officers considerably.  Insects swarmed them as they dashed into the foliage. 

 

“Your Borgness,” Kieran said quietly, trying not to pant too loudly as they ducked behind a dense stand of bushes, “I think we should split up.  I’ll try to be a decoy, pull at least one of the four hunters off of you and Na.  Will you take care of my girl?” she asked urgently, gripping Seven’s arm.  “Get her back to the Flyer if you can,” she emphasized.

 

“Of course I will.  Commander,” she stopped Kieran.  “Please, be careful.”

 

“I’ll do my best.  Na, do what Seven tells you, and watch your step.  I love you,” she kissed her lover and peeled off from their location, crashing loudly through the underbrush to create a diversion.

 

The Hirogen took the bait, following the trail of broken weeds and limbs.

 

“Damn, Seven, they’re all after her, now,” Naomi’s heart sank.

 

Seven’s eyes glittered.  “And we will follow them,” she promised.  “I am not letting Kieran die at their hands,” she promised her daughter.

 

When the hunting party had detoured in Kieran’s direction, Seven grabbed Naomi’s hand.  “Follow me.  Keep an eye behind us, in case they send reinforcements for the fallen ones,” she instructed.

 

“Got it,” Naomi nodded, running behind Seven.

 

___________________

 

“Captain,” Harry Kim checked his displays, “Delta Flyer is three minutes late reporting in,” he reported. 

 

“Helm, lay in a course,” Janeway barked.  “Don’t engage yet.  Let’s give them a couple of minutes.  Janeway to Torres,” she hailed.

 

B'Elanna came back across the channel.  “Torres here.”

 

“We may need warp engines back online, Lieutenant,” she advised.  “Can you abort the diagnostic?”

 

“I can, but I’d rather not unless it’s crucial.  Is everything okay?”

 

“The away team is late reporting in.”

 

“Understood.  I’m aborting the diagnostic,” B'Elanna turned to Vorik.  “Shut it down, emergency override,” she started punching commands into her workstation.  “I’ve got it, Captain.  Warp engines will be available in two minutes,” she worked feverishly to get the anti-matter reactors back online.

 

“Helm,” Janeway turned to Tom Paris, “find them the second the warp engines are ready,” she snapped.  “Damn it, Kieran,” she muttered, “you’d better not be fooling around.”

 

__________________

 

Kieran Thompson ran faster than any fast break she’d ever been on in her entire life.  Her lungs burned, her legs ached, and her body was so drenched in her own frightened sweat, her uniform clung to her in sticky folds around her joints.   She could hear the Hirogen behind her, closing on her position, and knew she could not run any longer.  She spotted a tree with a branch too high for most humanoids to reach, and leapt for it, swinging herself into the thick branches.  She scrambled into the canopy overhead, praying the hunters had not spotted her ascent.

 

Damned red uniform stands out like a sore thumb, she complained inwardly.  Please, Seven, get Naomi back to the ship.

 

Kieran stayed as still as she could considering her chest was heaving, taking in great gulps of air, and she was lightheaded from the intense oxygen atmosphere of the planet.  It gave her a euphoric feeling that was not entirely welcome, under the circumstances.

 

Below her, the hunters noted her trail had ceased.  “She’s here somewhere,” the Alpha noted.  “No broken growth,” he pointed to the undamaged plants around the area.  “Scan the trees,” he pulled out a tracking instrument.

 

Cheaters, Kieran thought, not much of a contest with high-tech toys, you lazy bastards.

 

“Jefahr,” the third said to the Alpha, “I have her.”

 

Kieran knew her options were limited.  She was a sitting duck.  With a blood-curdling scream she dropped on the third, the blunt impact of her body driving him to the ground.  As she fell she shot at the Alpha, grazing his left leg.

 

He was on her in an instant.

 

Phaser fire erupted behind them, and Seven and Naomi came charging into the fray, weapons blazing.  The third was apparently dead from the crushing blow of Kieran’s body weight, and the two hunters bringing up the rear had their hands full with the other two Voyager officers.

 

Kieran was staggered by the leap from her leafy perch, and the Alpha had a handful of her hair, reaching for his skith to behead her.  She saw his arm wielding the gleaming blade and she dropped and thrust both legs into his midsection, sending him sprawling. 

 

Her phaser still clutched in her fingers, she aimed at his hand, meaning to disarm him with one carefully placed shot, but he dodged and rolled, coming up beside her and swinging his skith.  She jerked her arm back too late, the blade severing her thumb and knocking her phaser free.

 

Jefahr’s eyes narrowed to self-satisfied pinpoints.  “Such rich, red blood,” he sounded awed by it, raising his arm for the deadly final blow.

 

Kieran saw the edge coming toward her head and lurched to one side, but before the blow could be struck, Seven of Nine tackled the Alpha, rolling with him, smothering his limbs with her body.

 

Naomi was right behind her, and as the Alpha’s body presented itself for a clean shot, Naomi blasted through his plated spinal armor.  He writhed on top of Seven and collapsed.

 

Kieran had the presence of mind to secure her missing digit, found that the amputation had been a fairly clean one, and applied pressure to the injury by holding it beneath her good arm.  She scrambled to Seven’s side, jerking the Hirogen’s limp body off of the Borg.

 

“Oh, shit,” she sank to her knees.  The Hirogen’s skith was lodged in Seven’s gut, and she was bleeding from the mouth and midsection.  “Damn it, Seven,” she checked her pulse.  “I told you to get Naomi back to the Flyer.”

 

Seven coughed blood, eyes glazing over.  “Have you ever known me to obey an order?” she managed to gasp out the words, forcing a faint smile.

 

Naomi had Seven’s hand in her own.  “Mom, you have to hang on,” she urged. 

 

“My nanoprobes will take care of this,” Seven wheezed. 

 

Kieran knew better.

 

___________________

 

Tuvok’s eyebrow arched expressively.  “Captain, there is a Hirogen ship on the planet.  The Delta Flyer has no comm badge signals aboard.  We must assume it is in Hirogen hands,” he reported tersely.

 

“Shit,” Kathryn bit her lip.  “Naomi really is clairvoyant.  Tuvok, destroy their ship, and anything in it,” she said darkly.  “Fire.”

 

“Phaser are locked on.  Firing,” he announced.  “Target is destroyed, Captain.”

 

“Harry, have you found them yet?” Janeway demanded.

 

“I’ve got three comm badge signals.  Locking on,” he stated.  “Life signs are weak on Seven’s signal, I’m diverting her to sickbay.  Damn, Kieran’s hurt, too,” he muttered.

 

“I’m going to sickbay.  Tuvok, send a recovery team to get the Delta Flyer.  Tell them to kill anything that moves.”

 

“Aye, Captain,” he nodded curtly.

 

 

Kieran Thompson awoke in the glaring lights of sickbay, groggy and disoriented.  Naomi Wildman hovered over her, peering down into the gauzy line of Kieran's vision.

 

“Is Seven okay?” she managed to ask through a parched throat.

 

“She's fine,” Naomi assured her partner.  “And so are you. They reattached your thumb, and it should be good as new with a little rehab,” she reported.

 

“And Seven?” Kieran insisted, propping herself up to search the other biobeds for a sign of her Borg companion.

 

“She just got out of her second surgery, and should be waking up soon enough,” a throaty voice put in.  Kathryn Janeway approached from across the way, scrutinizing her acting first officer.  “Am I to understand Seven disobeyed a direct order?”

 

Kieran's memory was fuzzy.  She gave Kathryn a quizzical look.  “She did?”

 

“On the planet,” Kathryn asserted. “Did you or did you not tell her to get Naomi back to the Delta Flyer when the Hirogen attacked?”

 

Kieran shook her head.  “I told her to get Naomi back to the ship if she could,” she qualified the order.  “It's a good thing she and Naomi tailed me, though, or I'd have lost my head instead of my thumb,” she raised her hand to her throat.  “Seven tackled the Alpha just before he swung his blade,” she shuddered.

 

Kathryn nodded.

 

“It wasn't a direct order, Captain,” Kieran contended.  “Na, will you help me up?  I want to see your mom.”

 

“Sure, sweetie,” she eased Kieran upright.  “Go slow, you lost a lot of blood,” she recommended gently.

 

“Were we able to recover the Flyer?” Kieran asked Janeway.

 

“We were. And B'Elanna is doing the mining expedition now. Once we've taken all the ore we need, we'll get back to running the diagnostics.  You never picked up the Hirogen vessel on sensor sweeps?” Janeway was surprised and displeased at that.

 

“No, Captain.  They must have stayed just out of range.  What boggles my mind is just how long they've been following Voyager.” 

 

“They're patient when they're on the hunt,” Kathryn agreed. She helped Kieran down from the biobed. “Come on, Seven should be awake shortly.”

 

Seven awakened a bit later, and after Kathryn was assured she would be fine, the Captain returned to the bridge. Naomi beamed down to complete the geological survey with B'Elanna and the away team, and Kieran stayed behind to speak to Seven.

 

“Your Borgness,” she said quietly, “I appreciate your saving my life.  But I gave you an order, and you ignored it.  You were supposed to take care of Naomi,” she said sternly.

 

“I am sorry, but I was not going to let them kill you.  Four against one is suicide, Commander.  It was not my intention to endanger Naomi or myself; only to assist you.  I simply could not bear the thought of losing you,” she admitted, the recent anesthetic relaxing her customary defensiveness.

 

Kieran swallowed hard, touching her face.  “Seven, you can't let your personal feelings interfere with your judgment.”

 

“Why not?  You do.  You told me to keep Naomi safe. Would you have said that about any other member of this crew?” she demanded, trying to get her guard back up.

 

Kieran bit her lip.  “Yes.  You,” she said softly.  “The order was designed to protect you both, your Borgness,” she caressed Seven’s cheek, incapable of hiding her own vulnerability.

 

Seven's cool blue eyes warmed perceptibly, and she reached for Kieran's hand.  “You may discipline me any way you choose.  I would not change my actions.  If I had abandoned you, Naomi would have never forgiven me.  And I would not have been able to live with myself.  I am less interested in being a good officer than I am in being a responsible member of your family.”

 

Kieran squeezed her fingers gently.  “I told Kathryn it wasn't a direct order.  Please don't tell her otherwise. But in the future, I need to know you will heed my orders, as you do hers.  Promise me, Seven.”

 

Seven stuck out her chin.  “I will not choose duty over those I love.  Not now, not ever.  Kathryn is as guilty of that as I am.  She has taken on the Borg Queen a number of times on my behalf.”

 

Kieran smirked.  “Kathryn wouldn't be worried about protocol in this case, if not for the fact that you saved my hide, and she probably wishes you hadn't.”

 

Seven's eyes widened.  “Kathryn loves you,” she protested

 

“I'm not convinced of that, not anymore.  So much bad blood has passed between us.  I suspect if another spatial rift presented itself, she'd dump me in it,” she had a wicked twinkle in her eye.

 

Seven smiled faintly.  “I would not allow her to,” she contended.

 

___________________

 

Captain Kathryn Janeway stretched in her command chair, sipping at her cold coffee and making a face of distaste.  “Yuck,” she sniffed the cup.  “Funny,” she turned to her acting First Officer, “I like it hot, and I like it iced.  But in between is just disgusting.”

 

Kieran laughed.  “Let me get you some fresh, Kathryn,” she offered, heading for the ready room.

 

“Captain,” Tuvok interrupted them.  “There is a ship emerging from a transwarp conduit,” he said tersely.

 

Kathryn leapt to her feet.  “Is it Borg?” she demanded.

 

Kieran turned to tactical.  “Shields up!” she jogged up the ramp to assist at weapons.

 

“It does not appear to be Borg,” Tuvok scanned.  “I believe it is a Federation vessel, although the markings are unfamiliar,” he muttered.

 

Harry punched in commands at his board.  “They’re hailing us.”

 

“On screen,” Janeway turned to the viewer.

 

The smiling faces of Wesley Crusher and the Traveler materialized on the view screen.  “Greetings from the Federation, Voyager,” Wesley began enthusiastically.

 

Kieran’s jaw dropped.

 

“I was supposed to take Commander Thompson to dinner about a decade ago, and I’ve come to make good on that promise,” he announced, looking at Kieran.  “KT,” he fought a lump in his throat, “It is so good to see you.  I thought you were dead.  I only recently found out otherwise, or I would have come for you long ago.  I’m so sorry,” he closed his eyes against the regret.  “And look at you!” he laughed happily, seeing his old friend with three pips and sporting command red.  “First Officer?”

 

“Wes,” she was flabbergasted to see him, “how in hell did you get here?  And I’m only the acting First Officer.”

 

Wesley grinned.  “Will Riker is going to want you for his new ship,” he advised her.  “Better start wooing her, Captain,” he addressed Janeway.  “This is my companion, the Traveler,” he introduced the silvery alien. 

 

“Hello,” he bowed.  “Tell me, Captain.  Are you ready to go home?” he asked in his permanent state of mild amusement.

 

Janeway nodded, unable to speak for the moment.  “Are you serious?  You can get us back to the Alpha Quadrant?”

 

Wesley held up a PADD, and closed his eyes.  “Hold out your hand, Captain,” he requested. The data device materialized in her palm, without benefit of a transporter.

 

Janeway was stunned, but quickly recovered.  “Nice parlor trick, but can you get us home, really?” she demanded skeptically.

 

Wesley was accustomed to the non-believers.  “Read the PADD.  It has the modifications we are going to make to your engines.  I am operating under the authority of Starfleet Command, reporting to Admirals Nechayev and Paris.  Your orders are also in that PADD.”  Wesley turned to Kieran again.  “Permission to come aboard, Commander?”

 

Kieran smiled fondly at him.  “Granted, Mr. Crusher.”

 

____________________

 

Kathryn’s quarters could barely hold all the dinner guests, but the mood was ebullient.  They were going to go home, thanks to Wesley and his companion, and there were so many plans to make.

 

Kieran and Naomi sat on the couch, with Wesley tucked into the corner of it beside Kieran. 

 

Naomi rose gracefully. “Can I get you something to drink, Wesley?” she offered.

 

“I’ll have another beer,” he agreed.  “KT?”

 

“Same.  Thanks, honey,” she took Naomi’s hand and kissed it.

 

As Naomi walked away, Wesley took Kieran’s hand.  “She’s stunning, KT,” he breathed.  “You’re a lucky woman.”

 

“And don’t I know it?” she laughed.  “Too bad the crew is convinced I’m a pedophile,” she confided.  “Oh, the senior staff is fine, but some of the crew from the lower decks had their own opinions.”

 

Naomi came back just then, overhearing.  “Yes, they had the opinion that you should die, and they tried to help you to that end,” she said sarcastically.

 

Wesley’s face darkened.  “Excuse me?”

 

Naomi sat in the floor at his feet, crossing her legs smoothly.  “They assaulted her.  Beat her half to death.”

 

The EMH had joined them.  “Only half to death,” he put in.

 

Wesley’s eyes went black with anger.  “Have they been caught?”

 

“No,” Kieran advised, “and I’d rather not talk about it.”

 

“If you find out who they are, I can leave them here, if you like,” Wesley offered.

 

Kieran smiled.  “Thanks, buddy, but no.  I’m so happy that we’re going home, the assault doesn’t matter anymore.  I can’t believe you came to rescue us.”

 

“I seem to recall,” he sipped his beer, leaning back “a certain Ensign who rescued me from public humiliation and exile when I was serving out my sentence in disgrace at the Academy.  I owe you, KT, and I love you, so of course I came as soon as I heard.”

 

“Where were you that you wouldn’t have known?” she asked.

 

He launched into the lengthy tale of his adventures with the Traveler, his studies, his five-year absence from home.  Before long, the entire staff was gathered around, listening attentively.  “And when I got back, Mom and I were talking about you.  I told her how much I missed you, and before I could get all choked up,” he teased Kieran, “she told me you had survived.  And she and Captain Picard sent us to bring you home, although it took Starfleet awhile to hammer out the details. I‘d have been here two months ago, if not for all the damned bureaucrats,” he complained.

 

Kieran’s face warmed, thinking of her old friends on Enterprise.  “Well I wouldn’t have recognized you, Wes,” she touched his face gently.  “You’re a grown man now, so handsome and confident.  Nothing like that wispy young boy at the Academy who was so slender I worried you never ate.”

 

He blushed.  “Thanks, KT.  We’ve both aged, but you’re still gorgeous as ever.  Oh my God,” he snapped his fingers.  “I have to tell you about Robin Lefler!” he settled in for a gossip fest as the crew lost interest and meandered away.

 

Kieran finished her beer.  “What about her?  Have you seen her?”

 

The Traveler and Wesley had gone to Starfleet Headquarters to work out the terms of the rescue mission, and, Wesley explained, Robin Lefler had been there.

 

“You won’t believe this,” his eyes glittered, teeth flashing.  “She is a Ship’s Counselor.  Just finished at the Academy, and is waiting for assignment.”

 

Kieran laughed heartily.  “That’s rich.  She wouldn’t marry a starship shrink, but she decided to become one,” she howled.  “Is she married to an Admiral?”

 

“Actually,” Wesley waggled his eyebrows, “she’s single.  But she sure has changed, KT.  She’s a completely different person.  We went out twice while I was there, and I’m telling you, she has her shit together now.”

 

Kieran elbowed him gently.  “Do tell, Mr. Crusher.”

 

“Let’s just say I’m supposed to see her again when I get back.  She asked about you, of course.”

 

“And you said?”

 

“I told her what I knew, which is that you’re divorced and have a daughter.  That’s what’s in the records, so I couldn’t tell her the things I didn’t know,” he inclined his head toward Naomi.  “She wanted you to contact her when you get back.”

 

“I don’t think so,” Kieran leaned forward and kissed Naomi.

 

“You won’t have a chance, anyway,” Wesley advised her.  “Starfleet has the most grandiose homecoming celebration planned for your crew, you’ll be wrapped up in festivities for days.  The press will descend like locusts, of course.  You’re all heroes, you know, in the eyes of the citizens of the Earth.  By the way, the Academy named the basketball court after you, in anticipation of your homecoming.  They’re going to dedicate it when you get back--big ceremony, lots of stuffy dignitaries, all the crap you hate about Starfleet,” he giggled.

 

Kieran rolled her eyes, but Naomi was enchanted.  “They named the court after Kieran?  What do you mean?”

 

“Yep, big ole letters,” he chuckled.  “Kieran Thompson Court, painted right on the floor at the half-court stripe, either side of the building.”

 

“Is that a big honor?” Naomi asked faintly.

 

Wesley nodded.  “Oh, I’d say so,” his eyes twinkled wickedly.  “The Academy has been there over three hundred years, and they’ve never done that sort of tribute to anyone before.  It’s unheard of.  Did Kieran tell you her jersey is retired, and that it’s the only one ever retired in the history of the Academy?”

 

Naomi scowled at Kieran.  “No, she never mentioned it,” she crossed her arms, pouting prettily.  “What else should I know about her?”

 

He grinned.  “I wanted to wait for you to see this,” he was laughing in earnest now, “but I can’t stand the suspense,” he howled.  “They put a statue of you outside the sports arena.  It’s the biggest eyesore on campus,” he slapped his thigh, gasping with laughter.

 

Kieran closed her eyes.  “Oh my God, Wes, please tell me you’re lying,” she groaned.

 

“Nope, bigger than life, you doing a one handed slam, I swear it.  Nine feet high, solid bronze, KT.”  Seeing her stricken face only cracked him up more.  “It was supposed to be a memorial, when you were lost,” he advised. 

 

“Is it a decent likeness?” Kieran deadpanned.

 

“Oh yeah,” he wiped his eyes.  “Because everybody looks so good that way,” he teased.  He could see Kieran was truly embarrassed. “Look, KT,” he explained.  “You have to understand.  When Voyager disappeared, your old teammates were just devastated.  The whole campus was in mourning.  There were candlelight vigils every night for the first week, everyone wore black armbands, the mood was just depressing.  Your old team bought the statue as a tribute.  It made them feel better.  It gave them closure, or something,” he tried to ease her discomfort.  “It was a pretty grim time for the Academy,” he recalled.  “Hell, we all were broken up about it,” he added, thinking of the number of times he had cried.  “I was no exception,” he confided. 

 

“Do you think they might take it down, since I’m coming back to the Alpha Quadrant?” she asked hopefully.

 

Wesley laughed at her consternation.  “Not a chance.  There’s this whole ritual thing that goes with it, now,” he chuckled.  “Robin told me.  Before every home game, the team goes out to the statue and touches the basketball in your hand for good luck.  Every girl on the team has to jump up and touch it, and if they can’t jump that high, they launch themselves off the platform of the statue.  When they televise Academy games, the broadcast opens by showing the pre-game ritual.  Like it or not, you’re a fixture,” he teased.

 

“I don’t like it,” she replied.  “That’s one stop I’m not going to be making on the welcome home tour,” she was blushing furiously.

 

Naomi lay her hands on Kieran’s knees, sitting patiently at her feet.  “I want to see it,” she said softly.

 

Kieran groaned again.  “God, Na, what in hell for?”

 

“I just do,” she said.  “I know you’re embarrassed by the attention, but I’m proud of you,” she murmured.  “And I think, as badly as everyone has treated you since Qian, it might be nice to see you being treated with due respect.”

 

Wesley nodded.  “I think when your Captain calls the troops together to explain this trip we’re going to make, I’m going to make it pretty clear to your crewmates that if I hadn’t known you personally, I wouldn’t be making this rescue.  You’re the only reason those sorry bastards that assaulted you are going to see their families again,” he was suddenly angry.  “That sort of thing would have never happened on Enterprise,” he bit his words off.

 

“Probably not, Wes,” Kieran sprang to Kathryn’s defense, “but Voyager has been lost a long, long time, and Captain Janeway has pulled off a miracle, just keeping us alive.  One little hate crime can’t tarnish her record,” Kieran insisted.

 

Wesley smiled, finishing his beer.  “I’m glad to see you’re still the most loyal person in the fleet,” he touched her thigh.  “Not a hardened cynic, like me.”

 

Janeway came over to the small cluster on her couch, checking in with the visitor.  “My Chief Engineer advises me that your specifications will take a couple of weeks to implement.  In the meantime, please, avail yourself of all our facilities.  My First Officer will assign guest quarters to you,” she said pleasantly.  “Kieran, see to our guests’ every whim,” she chuckled.  “A word with you, please, Commander?” she reached down to help Kieran hoist herself out of the couch cushions.

 

“Yes Ma’am?” Kieran leaned down to hear Kathryn over the din in the room.

 

“You trust this plan?” Kathryn wanted to know.

 

Kieran nodded.  “Wesley and I go back a long way.  I trust him with my life--with Naomi’s life, which as you know, is infinitely more valuable to me.”

 

Kathryn sighed.  “Okay.  B’Elanna, incidentally, said the specs in that PADD are a lot of mumbo jumbo, as far as she is concerned.”

 

“From what I glean listening to Wesley, the data is probably beyond B’Elanna’s comprehension, Captain.  It may be beyond Seven’s, for that matter.  Has she seen it?”

 

“Looking over it as we speak.  She’s in our bedroom.  Would you like to see it?”

 

“Absolutely.  Can Naomi take a look too?  She can always explain the technical things I don’t understand,” Kieran grinned.

 

“Good idea.  The more eyes, the better, as far as I’m concerned.  Everything he brought has Starfleet’s endorsement, yet--”

 

“You’re worried.  I understand.”

 

Kathryn smiled warmly at her for the first time in so long, Kieran couldn’t remember when it had last happened.  “Thank you, Commander.  Let me know what you think.”

 

________________

 

Wesley Crusher and the Traveler peeked in the doorway of the Captain’s bedroom, listening to the discussion of their engine modification data.

 

“No, look right here,” Naomi pointed to the equation, showing Seven the salient point in it.  “It’s the gradient less the constant.  And,” she got excited, tapping information onto the screen, “if you boost the output by a power of even two squared, you get an efficiency increase here,” she smiled, “But they are boosting it by a much higher exponent of three plus some fraction--” she calculated in her head, “3 point 6482.  The conduit strength is controlled by this load factor,” she illustrated, pointing to the number on the screen.  “Theoretically, if you adjust the load factor here, and here, you get a stable conduit.”

 

Seven rethought the equation.  “I see it now, you’re right,” she squeezed Naomi’s shoulder proudly.  “This is beyond anything the Borg ever conceived of,” she breathed reverently.

 

Wesley nodded at the Traveler.  “She’s the one, Traveler,” he said softly.  “You thought it was me, but it’s Naomi.”

 

“We don’t know that, Wes,” he disagreed.  “But she is impressive.”

 

“Do you want me to test her?”

 

“Discreetly, Wesley, and only if she understands what you’re doing.  She is very young.  She may not be ready.”

 

Wesley smiled.  “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?  Kieran is so in love with her.  I wonder if Kieran would be willing to let her go?”

 

“If Naomi truly is the one,” Traveler assured him, “she will not turn down the opportunity to travel with us.  Kieran would not be able to come along, you know that.”

 

“Yeah,” Wes swallowed hard.  “And Kieran would just die.”

 

___________________

 

Wesley, the Traveler, Kieran and Naomi talked long into the night after retiring to Kieran and Naomi’s quarters.  Kieran was outclassed entirely by the other three, not following a lot of the conversation about the engineering specs for the trip home.  She dozed off in her chair, worn out from their mental calisthenics, and Naomi crept over to her.

 

“KT,” she kissed her cheek, easing her lover awake.  “Wake up, honey.  You should go to bed,” she scolded lovingly.  “I’ll be along soon.”

 

Kieran sat up, blinking.  “Gosh, I’m sorry everyone,” she scrubbed at her eyes.  “Long day.  Will you excuse me?”

 

“Sure,” Wesley agreed.  “Sweet dreams.”

 

Kieran leaned down to kiss his cheek.  “Wes, it is so great to see you again.  Thank you for coming to save us,” she said sincerely.  “Traveler, don’t let my fiancée keep you up all night.  She’s insatiable when she gets talking shop,” she teased.  “Good night.”

 

Kieran was asleep before her head hit the pillow.  She was awakened several hours later by Wesley’s voice saying “That’s it, you’ve got it, keep going!”

 

She threw back the covers to see what the commotion was about.

 

Sitting in the floor of her living room, Wesley, the Traveler, and Naomi were holding hands, and appeared to be fading in and out of phase.  Naomi became transparent, disappeared, then reappeared.  Kieran’s heart nearly stopped.

 

“What the hell are you doing?” she dropped to her knees, panicked.

 

They broke contact and each one winked back into solid state. 

 

“Honey, it’s okay,” Naomi assured her.  “They were showing me how to alter my energy to a higher vibration.”

 

Kieran took her by the shoulders.  “Yeah?  Well did they tell you your body would disappear?” she demanded.  “You were invisible--or something,” she shook the sleep from her mind.

 

“Relax, KT,” Wesley assured her.  “You just happen to be engaged to someone of extraordinary capabilities,” he enthused.  “She’s got ten times my aptitude,” he glowed.

 

Kieran was annoyed.  “That’s just swell, Wes.  How dangerous is it for her to be ‘vibrating at a higher level’?”

 

“Not at all.  It was just a test,” he advised the angry woman.

 

“Honey,” Kieran turned back to Naomi, “are you okay?  That looked pretty scary,” she breathed, hands shaking.  “Please, come to bed.  It’s very late, and you’ve got a double shift tomorrow.”

 

Naomi dipped her head slightly.  “Okay.  Listen you guys,” she said to their guests, “thanks for the demonstration.  I’ll see you out.”

 

“Think about what we said,” the Traveler requested, smiling.  “Wonders beyond your imagination,” he emphasized.

 

After she had crawled into bed beside her partner, Naomi’s mind was still reeling.

 

“What was that all about--wonders beyond your imagination?” Kieran asked.

 

Naomi laughed.  “They want me to go travel the various dimensions with them.  They think I have the same gifts they have--to manipulate time, space, matter, thought.”

 

Kieran tried not to object immediately.  “And what do you think?”

 

“I really don’t know.  I seem to be able to do certain things, by their standards,” she sounded far away.  “It was an amazing discussion.”

 

“Na,” Kieran drew her into firm arms, “what the hell happened?  Where did you go?”

 

Naomi giggled.  “I went into the Mom’s quarters and watched them having a discussion, just for a split second.  Then I came back here.  Only I wasn’t in my physical body,” she explained.  “It was only my life force that left the room.”

 

Kieran did not like the sound of that one bit.  “You sent your energy wandering around the ship?” she asked, displeased.

 

Naomi shrugged.  “Not around the ship--more like through it.  I went right through the wall into K-Mom’s living room.”

 

Kieran swallowed hard, not grasping what was happening. “Honey, what were you thinking?”

 

“I wasn’t thinking, I was—being,” she tried to explain.  “It’s hard to make it sound like more than nonsense, KT.  But Traveler says I can develop my abilities further, if I want to.”

 

“To what end, exactly?” Kieran wanted to know.

 

Naomi’s eyes brightened.  “To travel in other dimensions, to explore fluidic space, to cross the boundaries of light and matter, to experience it all.”

 

“Maybe we should worry about just getting to plain old normal Alpha Quadrant space, first,” Kieran tried to make light of it.

 

“Of course,” Naomi snapped out of her reverie.  “I need to sleep.  Good night, love,” she kissed Kieran briefly, snuggling down into their covers.   She draped her arm over Kieran, knowing that the physical contact would put Kieran to sleep in no time at all.

 

Long after Kieran had fallen asleep, Naomi lay awake, thinking about the Traveler’s words.  Wonders beyond her imagination.

 

_________________

 

Seven of Nine, former tertiary adjunct to unimatrix zero-one, finished her analysis of the specifications designed by the Traveler and by Wesley Crusher.  Slender fingers slipped around her shoulders, working the tightness from them.

 

“What’s your reaction?” Kathryn Janeway asked her wife, rubbing the Borg’s muscles into fluidity.

 

“It’s ingenious,” Seven opined.  “Sound in its methodology.  Kathryn,” she murmured, “we are going home.”  She turned to her spouse, gazing up at her.  “Home.”

 

Kathryn nodded, her eyes misting briefly.

 

“I can’t wait to meet your mother, and Phoebe,” Seven drew Kathryn down into her lap, arms around her waist.

 

Kathryn closed her eyes.  “You want to come home with me?” she asked softly.

 

“Of course I do,” Seven assured her.  “Where else would I go?”

 

Kathryn barely suppressed a gulping sound.  “Florida.”

 

Kieran Thompson’s parents lived in Naples, near the Everglades.

 

“I do not know how to respond when you say things like that, Kathryn,” Seven supplied, distraught.  “I am not certain if you are asking for reassurance, or if you truly believe I will choose to follow Kieran,” she studied her wife’s expression.  “At any rate, even if I wanted to follow her, which I do not, she would not allow it.  So why do you persist in these insecurities and suspicions?”

 

Kathryn leaned her forehead against Seven’s, feeling exposed.  “I can’t seem to stop myself,” she admitted softly.  “And I am not convinced for a second that Kieran and Naomi will stay together, once we are on Earth and Naomi sees the big, wide world stretching before her.  Kieran will seem insignificant, in comparison,” she professed.

 

“I seriously doubt that,” Seven disagreed.  “Naomi loves Kieran.  I do not believe there is anyone that could make Kieran seem insignificant.”

 

“To Naomi, or to you?” Kathryn asked, then instantly regretted the question.

 

Seven’s brow knitted in consternation.  “Both,” she replied honestly, “but not for the reasons you imagine,” she held Kathryn’s chin between her thumb and forefinger, tasting pale pink lips.  “What can I do to stop the incessant doubts in your heart?” she whispered, deepening their kiss.

 

“I think it will take time and patience, and very thorough attention to detail,” Kathryn replied, her voice rich with humor.

 

“Details can be so interesting,” Seven flirted, holding Kathryn closer.  “Let me show you.”

 

_________________

 

Engineering was working double shifts to get the modifications completed, and Naomi Wildman’s focus was back on the physical world again, on plasma injectors and conduits and access panels.  She felt bad for frightening Kieran, and resolved to concentrate on the task at hand.  This was the meat and potatoes.  Wesley and the Traveler were dealing in cotton candy, sweet and attractive but not nourishing.

 

While Naomi worked, Wesley came in to check on the progress of the changes to Voyager’s engines.  He sat in the floor beside her while she dug around in a relay, tearing out wiring. 

 

“Have you thought about our proposition?” Wesley finally asked, after a long silence.

 

“Not much,” Naomi replied truthfully.  “I’ve been busy, in case you haven’t noticed.  I also haven’t talked to Kieran about the possibility we might not be in the Alpha Quadrant long,” she reached for a plasma torch.  “Hand me that, will you?”

 

“Naomi,” Wesley said carefully, choosing his words, “you realize this is the sort of opportunity that comes once in a lifetime?”

 

Naomi removed the torch.  “Hand me that spanner, please,” she pointed to the tool.  “Yes, I realize that.”

 

“Traveler is a teacher, a mentor.  He chooses a student once every hundred years or so.  If he wants to mentor you, it’s because your abilities are too important to pass up.”

 

Naomi smirked.  “He chose you five years ago, right?”

 

“Yes,” Wesley reported proudly.

 

“Then shouldn’t he be waiting another 95 years to find another pupil?” she asked, chuckling.

 

Wesley rolled his eyes.  “God, I can tell you’ve been around KT,” he bitched.

 

“Look, Wesley,” she sat up to meet his gaze.  “I appreciate the offer.  I’ll talk to Kieran and see if it’s something she’d be interested in pursuing.”

 

Wesley shook his head.  “She can’t come with us.  It’s not physically possible,” he explained gently.

 

Naomi’s face fell.  “Then the answer is no.  Not just no, but hell no.”

 

Wesley sighed.  “If she loves you, she’ll wait, Naomi.”

 

“You don’t seem to understand,” the Ktarian articulated every syllable.  “I will not be apart from her.  Period.  End of story.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to complete this rewire and you’re in my way,” she advised him hotly.

 

Wesley shrugged.  The decision wasn’t final until it was final, he decided.

_________________

 

Jamari Schwama regularly met with Counselor Kieran Thompson, now, trying to unearth his demons, finally able to speak the unspeakable things that the Restidians had done to him.  They had been working together for several weeks, but Kieran knew they had only scratched the surface.  She also knew that the Creoheem boy would have to find a new therapist, once they were back in the Alpha Quadrant, and she was explaining to him that she would take care of that, but that he could always contact her, anytime he needed her.

 

Alecia and Jonah Curtis came with Jamari, this session, so that they could get the details on the transition he would make to another practitioner.  Jamari was understandably concerned about having to retell his difficult story to a new person, and Kieran assured him she would attend his first session with the new therapist, if he felt that would help.  He readily agreed, thinking he would need Kieran there, to assist him in getting the ugly information out again.

 

As was his habit, Jamari ended the therapy session by apologizing miserably for the vandalism to her office, and Kieran couldn’t bear to see him beating himself up over it any longer.

 

“Jamari,” she said, taking his hands.  “You have told me how sorry you are, and I accepted your apology long ago.  Please, sweetie, don’t keep punishing yourself for that.  It’s ancient history, as far as I’m concerned.  I want you to forgive yourself, now, and stop feeling bad about it.”

 

“But how can I, Kieran?  I hurt you,” he hung his head, ashamed.  “It was such a terrible thing to do,” he bit his lip.

 

Kieran smoothed the tufted fur of his ears, her touch gentle and soothing.  “We all make mistakes, and I know how hard it can be to forgive ourselves, but you have to, honey.  Anger is a very potent emotion, and it can poison our judgment, our best intentions.  You have every right to be angry for the things those soldiers did to you.”

 

Jamari regarded her with guilty eyes.  “But you didn’t do anything to me.  I should hate them, not you.”

 

Kieran smiled warmly at him.  “Yes, but I understand the impulse, sweetie.  Do you?”  He shook his head.  “Those soldiers,” Kieran explained, “they aren’t here.  You can’t express your hatred for them because they aren’t here.  Your brain, your heart—they substituted me because your anger really needed to be expressed.  Maybe that’s unfair, but it happens.  I forgive you for that, and God knows, I certainly understand it,” she sympathized.  “Abuse is just such a tricky thing.”

 

Alecia and Jonah listened intently, both picking up on the personal intonation Kieran used, sensing she spoke from her own experience.

 

Jamari seemed to hear it, too.  “You understand it?” he pressed.

 

Kieran nodded.  “Intimately,” she admitted.  “I was never sexually abused, but I was physically abused.  I know how hard it is to talk about it, to examine your feelings about it.  But I also know it is necessary, and it is the only way to move beyond it and heal yourself.  And the first thing you have to realize, sweetie, is you are blameless in it.  Nothing you ever did, nothing you ever said, made you responsible for what those men did to you.  You didn’t give them permission, you didn’t ask for it, and you didn’t deserve to be treated that way.”

 

“I didn’t?” he was so uncertain.  “Aren’t Creoheem worthless?”

 

Kieran’s heart lurched in her chest.  “Look at my face, Jamari.  Do you think for a second, the way I look at you, I feel you’re worthless?”

 

He shook his head.  “You look at me like—like you love me,” he swallowed hard.

 

“I do love you.  I think you’re a wonderful young man.  I know you’ve had a very difficult life, and I am amazed at how well you’ve survived it.  You have a good heart, Jamari, a kind heart, even though you’ve rarely been shown any kindness by those around you.  Your mom and dad, they love you, too.  They know how special you are, and they wanted to adopt you more than anything,” she emphasized.  “No one on this ship thinks Creoheem are worthless.  And no one on this ship thinks you, in particular, are worthless.  Believe me, sweetie, when I tell you that your abusers had to make you feel like you were worthless to maintain control and power.  Abuse is all about power—who has it, who maintains it, and who is victimized by it.  You have to learn to trust the love around you.  Feel it, and know that your inherent value is in your own ability to love.  You can never be worthless, because you can love.”

 

“I love you,” he nodded, understanding.  “That’s got to be worth something.  Isn’t it?”

 

Kieran smiled and hugged him close.  “It’s worth everything, to me,” she assured him.

 

_________________

 

Captain Kathryn Janeway stood at the lectern, addressing her crew to kick off the Captain’s Ball.  She was resplendent in her dress whites, teeth flashing and eyes sparkling.  “This year,” she said to the assembled guests, “Seven and I have two pieces of very exciting news for you all, and we’d like to share them now.  First,” she raised her champagne glass.  “I’d like to announce that my lovely daughter, Ensign Naomi Wildman, is engaged to be married to my acting First Officer, Commander Kieran Thompson.  Seven and I couldn’t be happier for them, and we welcome this union with open hearts and hands,” Kathryn said into the shipwide comm system, so that her words echoed throughout the ship.  “Ladies,” Kathryn nodded at the couple, “A toast to your eternal happiness and the success of your marriage,” she drank down the entire glass.

 

When the crowd had quieted down, she smiled and addressed them again.  “Second, the miracle we’ve been waiting for has finally arrived from the Alpha Quadrant,” she confirmed the rampant rumors.  “We are going home,” she announced amid uproarious cheering.  “Hold it down,” she raised her hand to forestall the inevitable queries.  “I would like to turn this discussion over to our guests of honor, Traveler, and Wesley Crusher, who are here to escort us home.”

 

Traveler’s eyes widened.  “I do not address crowds,” he whispered to his companion.  “You tell them everything.”

 

Wesley nodded, taking the lectern.  “Good evening, everyone,” he began his remarks, which he read from a PADD.  “Captain Janeway is correct, we are here to take you home.  I am a former member of the crew of the Enterprise, and I left the Alpha Quadrant many years ago to pursue lessons in space, time, and inter-dimensional travel, taught by the Traveler.  We are working to modify Voyager’s engines so that we can create a transwarp conduit and pilot the ship back to the Alpha Quadrant.  The modifications are almost complete, and we should be ready to make the journey back within the week,” he advised, waiting for the cheers to subside again.  “I’d like to give you a little background on how this came about,” he smiled into the sea of faces. 

 

The crowd hushed, waiting expectantly.  “When I was young and very immature, I met your Ship’s Counselor, Kieran Thompson, and was lucky enough to become her friend,” he smiled fondly over at the tall Commander.  “I was involved in a reprehensible crime while I was enrolled at the Academy, which I’m sure many of you know about.  My flight squadron wanted to perform an illegal maneuver for commencement, to show off for our classmates.  While we were practicing the maneuver, a Kolvoord Starburst, one of our wing mates was killed.  Not only had we done an outlawed maneuver, the squadron lied to the investigators about how our wing mate was killed, and tried to cover up what we had done.  It was the low point of my life, and while I was allowed to remain at the Academy, I was an outcast.  I was taunted, ignored, even physically attacked, and all the people who knew and cared for me at school could no longer stand to be affiliated with me. 

 

“Except Kieran Thompson.  Now, most of you might not know this, but Kieran was the International Collegiate Athlete of the year her Senior year at the Academy.  She led the basketball team to an ICAA Championship.  She was, quite simply, one of the most popular people on campus, and she had everything to lose by being associated with the likes of me,” he grinned at his friend.  “But instead of turning her back on me, like everyone else had so readily done, she stood up for me.  She supported and counseled me, and she made my life there tolerable again.  It was a kindness I thought I could never repay.

 

“When I returned to the Alpha Quadrant recently, after being out of touch for five years, my mother informed me that Voyager had been located during my absence, and that my benefactor from all those years ago, Kieran Thompson, was still alive.  And so, quite simply, I came to get her.  Kieran was loyal to me, when almost no one else was.  Loyalty is a quality that we would all do well to emulate.  And I ask you, while you’re saying your good-byes to the people you’ve spent the last twelve years with, to reaffirm your loyalties.  Captain?” he turned the podium back over to Kathryn.

 

Kieran met him as he walked off the platform, leaning down to talk to him.  “I’m going to kill you, Wesley,” she threatened him, embarrassed beyond words.

 

“Yeah?  Well, then let me tell you something, KT.  That statue?  It was my idea,” he laughed in her face.  “I love you, buddy.  Deal with it.”

 

_________________

 

Kieran Thompson settled into her chair on the bridge, logged herself on duty, and checked her workstation for comm messages.  She was shocked to see over fifty personal missives in the buffer, thinking there must be a computer glitch.  As she scrolled down the list, the sender names were all different.  She opened the first.  It was an apology from Rachel McVicker, saying she had thought about what Wesley said at the Ball, and that she was sorry she had treated Kieran so badly over the relationship issue.

 

One by one, Kieran read similar notes; apologies, invitations to get together back on Earth, and congratulatory wishes for Kieran and Naomi.  Wesley had in fact, returned the favor she had so long ago done for him.   And there at the bottom of the list was a letter from Kathryn Janeway.

 

All it said was:

 

As soon as you read this, turn the bridge over to Tuvok, and meet me on holodeck one.  Wear your bathing suit, and bring your sunglasses.

 

Kieran looked up at Tuvok, who was watching her expectantly.  “Do not keep the Captain waiting, Commander,” he recommended.  “She is not a patient woman.”

 

Kieran hurried home, changed into her swimming attire, grabbed her sunglasses and a beach towel, slipped on her sandals and headed for the holodeck.   The doors opened on an ocean vista, and Kieran could see Kathryn sitting on a blanket beneath a huge red and white striped umbrella.  The angle of the umbrella allowed her to catch sunrays on the front side, shade on her back.  She peered out thoughtfully over the glistening waves, eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses, pale skin exposed by a skimpy black one-piece suit.

 

Overhead, seagulls shrieked and dove toward the crashing waves.  Kieran breathed deeply.  She loved salt air, the way the breeze carried moisture to refresh overheated skin, the sound of the water thundering on the sand.  She studied her Captain for a moment, wondering what this was all about.

 

“Good morning, Commander,” Kathryn greeted her acting First Officer, calling over her shoulder without turning around.  “You’re relieved of duty for the day.  Now,” she waved her over to the blanket “are you going to join me, or stand there like a fish out of water?”

 

As Kieran approached, she saw that Kathryn had a large cooler with her, suntan lotion, towels for both women, and a mildly amused expression on her face.  Kieran lifted the cooler lid.  It was stocked amply with Corona beer, lime wedges, sliced cheese, salsa, and guacamole.  A large sack was leaned up against it, and Kieran could see there were tortilla chips and snacks inside.

 

“Are we swimming today, or getting drunk?” she wanted to know, spying the large number of bottles in the cooler.

 

“Both,” Kathryn decided.  “Sit down.”

 

Kieran settled herself onto the blanket, sliding her sunglasses over her eyes to hide the sense of wariness her expression divulged.  She didn’t know what to say.  Kathryn cracked open the first of many drinks, handing one to Kieran.

 

“At eight in the morning?” Kieran chuckled, but took the Corona and squeezed the proffered lime into it.

 

“Eye opener,” Kathryn replied.  “Did you eat breakfast?”

 

Kieran smirked.  “I live with your daughter.  What do you think?” she removed her sandals and dug her toes into the fine, oyster white sand, wriggling them.

 

Kathryn grinned.  “I think you’re gaining weight because she feeds you regularly.  You look good, Kato.”

 

“She never lets me out the door with an empty stomach,” Kieran affirmed.  “Is there something in particular on your mind, Captain?” she took a long swallow of beer, letting the cold and tartness cleanse her palate.

 

“Do I have to have a reason for wanting to spend time with you?” Kathryn sounded peeved.  She sipped her own beer, waiting for a reply.

 

“Come on, Kat,” Kieran scowled.  “You don’t have to pretend with me.  You can’t stand the sight of me, and I’m the last person you want to be around.  Naomi and Seven may be fooled by your behavior toward me, but let’s not give substance to the lie,” she knocked back a healthy swallow, thinking she’d finish the drink and leave.

 

Kathryn drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, still staring out over the ocean.  She shook her auburn hair back out of her face, letting the breeze cool her cheeks.  “I admit, I’m having trouble with you,” she said faintly.  “But I want to try to get past it.  I’ve thought a lot about what you said to me during your final exam.  I don’t process things quickly, and I had a lot to think about,” she inclined her head.  “After all, you had a lot to say,” she teased lightly.

 

Kieran took a deep breath, thinking she needed to hear Kathryn out, but wishing she could just go back to the bridge.  “Listen, Kathryn,” she began, “about that—I thought you were dead.  None of what I said means anything,” she shrugged her shoulders to realign her spine, trying to release some of the tension in her body.

 

“That’s odd, because you seemed pretty sincere to me,” Kathryn wasn’t letting her minimize the diatribe.  “And frankly, you’re not one to say things you don’t mean, not even when you’re livid.  I’ve had my share of difficult relationships over the years, and once I make a friend, I don’t ordinarily let anything disrupt a friendship.  But this whole situation with Naomi has just floored me.  I’ve tried and tried to make sense of it, and I can’t,” she took a deep draught of her beer.  “And it dawned on me.  I struggle because on some level, despite all the evidence to the contrary, I still believe Naomi is twelve years old.  I need to believe it, I suppose, because she is my first child, and I don’t want her to grow up.  But she has, and there it is.  Under ordinary circumstances, my recourse would be to cry on my best friend’s shoulder about my sense of grief and loss.  But in this case, my best friend is the one I lost her to.”

 

Kieran watched her toes in the sand, taking in the older woman’s assessment.  “I’d be a lousy Ship’s Counselor if I failed to point out that you haven’t lost Naomi, Kathryn.  She is your daughter, and she still loves you.  Granted, she no longer has the kind of blind adoration for you she once held, but she does love you.  I didn’t take anything from her.”

 

Kathryn blanched.  “Didn’t you?  What about her innocence?” she protested, careful to temper her tone.

 

Without thinking to edit herself, Kieran defended herself.  “I wasn’t her first,” she asserted, then slapped her hand over her mouth.  “But that’s Naomi’s place to say, not mine.”

 

Kathryn was deeply upset.  “So she wasn’t lying about that, when I confronted you two about your relationship?  Who else?” she demanded.

 

“I’ve said too much already, Kathryn.  If you want the details, you’ll have to ask Naomi.  Hopefully she’ll forgive me for the unintentional violation of her confidence,” Kieran was angry with herself.  “Besides, you linked with her on Qian.  Didn’t you know?”

 

“I only saw what she allowed me to see, and it was precious little, apparently,” Kathryn complained.  “And I know Seven knows things and doesn’t tell me.  It’s been a bone of contention in our marriage for a long time now.”

 

Kieran’s lips tightened.  “Seven knows how badly you react to things beyond your control.  If she could trust you to respond appropriately, she might be more willing to tell you things,” she accused.  “If there’s anyone who is blameless in this entire matter, it is your wife,” Kieran defended her friend vehemently.  “You have issues with me, fine.  But leave Seven out of it.”

 

“All I’m saying,” Kathryn argued, “is there was a hell of lot more going on on Qian than met the eye, and I felt like there was a conspiracy of silence around me.  My daughter ends up in a hallucinatory coma, and you tell me it’s because she is in love with you and can’t stand to live without you, and you tell me you feel the same way about her.  I’ve been your closest friend for the past five years, and you never said word one to me, Kieran.  And there you were, confessing God only knows what, and what was I supposed to think?” she beseeched with her hands out.

 

Kieran nodded.  “Okay, I get that.  But understand, Kathryn, until we arrived at Qian, I was in a state of utter denial about Naomi.  I knew how you would feel about my loving her.  I wasn’t about to jeopardize my friendship with you, and I never, ever would have.  Except you asked me to.  You asked me to bring her back to us, and I did.  It was the only way I could get her to agree to come home to us.  You didn’t say how to bring her back, you just said to do it.”

 

Kathryn finished her beer and retrieved two more, handing one to Kieran.  “That’s fair,” she agreed.  “You did do what I asked.”

 

“You have to believe me Kathryn, when I tell you nothing ever happened with Naomi before that.  She wanted to be with me, and I turned her away, even though I knew I wanted to be with her.  I turned my back on her for you,” she squeezed her second lime into the fresh bottle. “And that drove her to steal the cortical stimulators.  Sieken had joined us that morning, because I’d had a life threatening experience on Qian.  Naomi brought me back from it by linking with me, and she healed me, and she rescued me.  And in that link, she saw the truth of my love for her, and believed we would be together.  When the link was severed, I refused her, although I was dying to give in.  That refusal is what led her to try to leave us all.”

 

“And the only reason you refused her was me?” Kathryn toyed with the lime she was trying to shove into the neck of her bottle.

 

Kieran nodded miserably.  “I never wanted this to come between us.  Hell, I never wanted Naomi to know how I felt.  I would have kept it to myself until I died, Kathryn, I swear it.  But she had seen inside me.  She felt my love and she knew.  And she showed me the depth and the gravity of what she has always felt for me.  It was everything one person can offer another.  I walked away from that, because I loved you and respected what I knew your wishes would be.  Naomi was furious with me for being such a coward, I know she was.  But for me, it wasn’t about what I wanted, it was about what you wanted, and what you thought was best for her.”

 

Kieran drank deeply, silent once more, remembering how she had grappled with the issues and bungled the whole thing.

 

“What about now?  Are you only with her because she forced your hand?” Kathryn had to know.

 

“I am with her because she is my soul mate.  I am with her because I cannot be without her.  But had she never stolen the cortical stimulators, I would not have breached your trust.”

 

“You were right about one thing,” Kathryn acceded.  “If you had lied to her to bring her back, she’d have just turned around and made her own cortical stimulators, and we’d have been back at square one.  Only the next time, she would’ve known you lied and wouldn’t have allowed you to bring her home.”  Kathryn leaned back and grabbed the sack of food, pulling out chips and salsa.  She ate hers slowly, thoughtfully.  “Why didn’t you tell me what was going on with Naomi?  How could you not tell me she had slept with someone, if you knew?”

 

Kieran sighed.  “I told you when I took the job as Ship’s Counselor, we might butt heads eventually.  Even outside the patient-client relationship, the confidence of the crew is crucial to my efficacy.  How much would Naomi trust me, if I had run to you to tell you what she was doing?”

 

“But she’s a child--she was a child,” Kathryn corrected herself.  “Not an adult.”

 

“First off, she wasn’t a child when it happened, but that doesn’t matter,” Kieran insisted, helping herself to a handful of chips and anchoring her beer in the soft sand.  “Confidence is confidence.  I can’t pick and choose whose I will respect and whose I won’t.  I’m sorry if that is a concept you can’t accept, but any Counselor will agree with it.”

 

“All I know is that I wanted to kill you,” Kathryn admitted, “when you told me you were in love with Naomi.  I have always trusted you with my children, and I was shocked by the admission. I didn’t know what to think,” she excused herself.

 

“And therein lies the problem, Kathryn,” Kieran contended, her color rising.  “I’m a mother, damn it.  Do you have so little faith in my judgment that you think I’m capable of something as despicable as what you feared?  Do you think for a second that if Naomi were incapable of an adult relationship I’d have let her be with me?  I am appalled at how little you trust me, at how low your opinion of me truly is.  You know me.  You should have known me well enough to know there was more to it than just some older woman preying on a young girl.  Have I ever acted out of self-interest where Naomi was concerned?” she was steaming now.  “Have I?”  Kathryn didn’t answer for her shame.  “I think not.  How the fuck do you think I got a mechanical heart, Kathryn?”  She didn’t add the fact that she had nearly starved herself sick to save rations for Naomi, when Naomi had been so sick.  She could have, but she didn’t.

 

Kieran launched herself off the blanket, dropping her sunglasses as she moved, leaving Kathryn sitting there to stew over the argument.  Kieran ran to the water’s edge and dove in, churning through the waves at a blistering pace, trying to expend her ire.  She swam for nearly an eighth of a mile before slowing down.  She surfaced, treading water, fighting tears.  How could Kathryn think the worst of her, when she had always shown the woman her best?  Kieran smacked the water with her hand repeatedly until she was flailing in the waves, slamming herself against the rolling tide, trying to get a handle on her anger.  You’re only pissed because you’re so disappointed in her.  You thought she was a bigger person than this, a better friend.  You thought she believed in you, KT.  And now it’s clear that she isn’t capable of that kind of trust or connection.  How can you hold it against her, when she doesn’t have it in her to be what you need?  Let it go.  Let go of the expectations and the anger, and let her go.  You don’t need this grief.  She is not worth it.

 

Kieran swam back slowly, body surfing the last quarter of the distance, suddenly exhausted.  Too much beer too early, she decided.  As she trotted up the sloping beach back to the umbrella, Kathryn stood and handed her a towel. 

 

“I’m sorry, Kato,” she said sincerely.  “You’re absolutely right.  I jumped to the worst conclusions and I was wrong.  I should know you better than that.  Seven certainly never doubted you for a moment, and if nothing else, I should have trusted her judgment, if not yours.”  She sank back down on the blanket, reclaiming her drink. 

 

Kieran scrubbed the water from her bleach blonde spikes of hair, leaving it loose and unkempt.  She dried herself, then sat back down on the blanket.

 

“The water is great,” was all she said.  “Thanks for sharing the program with me.”  She sighed, reaching for the chips and digging out the guacamole.  She helped herself to a plate, scooping out the avocado mix and arranging chips around it.  “Want some?” she extended the treat to her companion.

 

“Sure,” Kathryn tried it.  “Seven outdid herself,” she said through a mouthful of avocado and chips.

 

After they had eaten in silence, Kieran brushed the salt from her hands, finished the rest of her now warm beer, and turned to her commanding officer.  “I think once we get back to Earth, and our respective leaves are over with, I should look for reassignment to someone else’s command.  You taught me the importance of a captain’s faith in her first officer, and you and I just don’t have that, anymore.  You need someone under your command that you believe implicitly in, and that is not me.”

 

Kathryn’s face fell.  “You’re bailing out on me?”

 

“You’re not leaving me a hell of a lot of options, Kathryn,” Kieran defied her.  “You owe it to yourself to have someone as your number one that you trust with your life and your ship and most importantly, with your children’s lives.  I owe it to myself to serve under someone who respects me, supports me, and gives me the benefit of the doubt on occasion,” Kieran asserted.

 

Kathryn was dumbfounded.  “If you take another assignment, not only will I never see Naomi, you’ll never see Katie.”

 

“A lot of Starfleet officers don’t raise their own children.  I trust B’Elanna with Katie,” Kieran said wistfully.  “I love my daughter, but I don’t want her on a ship with a captain who has no faith in her first officer.  It’s bad for Katie’s survival.”

 

“Trust isn’t something a captain gives a first officer,” Kathryn shot back.  “It’s something the first officer must earn,” she bit off the words, miffed.  “My plan all along was to make you my first, the second Chakotay said he was sick of the job.  Now that we’re going home, we can have our choice of ships, Kato.”

 

Kieran sighed.  “If you don’t trust me on a personal level, how can you, professionally?  I know the lawsuit ruined any hope of you trusting me, that and the lies I told you so that Naomi and I could run away together and take asylum,” she contended.  “As for the future, Naomi has her own dreams, and they don’t include shipping out two weeks after we hit the Alpha Quadrant.  I intend to make sure those dreams come true for her, and I doubt I will be on a starship for a very long time.”

 

“What do you mean?” Kathryn listened more carefully now, less ready to jump on Kieran.  “What dreams?”

 

“Jesus, Kathryn, you should ask her yourself, sometime, or has that never occurred to you?  Do you even know your own daughter?”

 

She set her lips in a grim line, shaking her head.  “Apparently not.  I didn’t know she was sexually active before you.  I can’t say what she wants from her life.  It really didn’t occur to me to ask, Kato.  How is it I can run a starship but not have the slightest idea how to be a good parent, or a passable friend?” she berated herself.  “I always just assumed Naomi would be an engineer, because she loves it so much,” she murmured, surprised she could be so clueless.

 

Kieran smiled, thinking about Naomi, how strong willed and beautiful she was, how positive and upbeat.   The surf was so powerful, neither woman heard Naomi come into the holodeck, and she stood far behind the two women, listening.   “She wants to go to the Academy.  And I’m going with her.”

 

Kathryn swallowed her reaction.  “She does?”

 

Kieran nodded.  “She told me that would be her first choice of career options, if we could only get home.  I think she’ll breeze through the coursework.  And who knows, Kathryn, maybe when she’s had that experience, seen larger possibilities for her life, met her biological family, seen something besides life within the confines of Voyager, maybe you’ll get your wish,” she added sarcastically, helping herself to another beer.

 

“My wish?” Kathryn wasn’t following.

 

“Maybe Naomi will realize there are other women or men in this universe, and she’ll leave me for one of them, or all of them, or for herself,” Kieran explained, twisting the top off her beer.

 

“You aren’t worried by that?  I think about Seven, and I worry she’s going to have little use for me, once we aren’t stranded out here.”

 

“It wouldn’t make me happy,” Kieran admitted.  “But Naomi has the right to be who she wants to be, and I won’t limit her choices.  If she tells me she wants to go off with the Traveler, I’ll let her go graciously.  I love her.  The last thing I could live with is knowing I held her back from her heart’s desires.”

 

“Go off with the Traveler?” Kathryn apparently hadn’t heard about the offer.

Kieran sighed.  “Wesley and the Traveler think Naomi has the type of gifts that are reserved for geniuses and prophets.  They invited her to travel with them, and become a student of their inter-dimensional  theories and--hell, I don’t know what all,” she was getting less articulate from the alcohol.  “What they are doing is so far over my head, I can’t even put it in words.  Naomi is taken by the things they’ve told her about.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she packs and goes with them before we even see home.”

 

“And you’re not threatened by that?” Kathryn asked in disbelief.

 

“Of course I am.  But the important thing is what Naomi needs.  If she wants to spend five years with them, exploring fluidic space and time travel and parallel universes, who am I to discourage her?  I would wait for her.  I owe her that.  She waited for me, after all,” Kieran grinned faintly.

 

Kathryn grimaced, thinking about the opportunities before her daughter.  “If I had to choose for her, it sure as hell wouldn’t be to have her run off with those two,” she growled.

 

“That’s just it.  It’s not your choice.  It’s not my choice.  It’s Naomi’s choice,” Kieran emphasized.  “And for God’s sake, Kathryn, if I’ve taught you nothing else, then understand this:  that’s what it is to love someone with all your heart and soul.  To want for them what they want most for themselves, regardless of the cost to yourself. It is the surrender of control, plain and simple.  Do I hope she stays with me?  Of course I do.  But I don’t want her to stay out of obligation or guilt.”

 

Kathryn nodded, finally getting it.  “That’s why you left B’Elanna, isn’t it?  Because you knew, deep down, she was bisexual, and you couldn’t give her what she wants.”

 

Kieran nodded.  “I knew.  She needs to be with someone who can tolerate an open marriage, so she can avail herself of both genders of partner.  I’m not that person.  I was only going to make her increasingly miserable, if we stayed together.  She couldn’t see it, and wouldn’t accept it, so I did what I knew in my heart was right for her.  It cost me a lot, and it hurt like hell, but it was the right thing to do.  I had hoped, in some small way, that you might understand that if I can walk away from my marriage because it was the right thing to do, that I could judge what was right with Naomi, too.  I love her, Kathryn.  I don’t think there’s any crime in that, and I’ll never again apologize for it.  If she wants me at the altar tomorrow, I’ll be there.  If she needs to go away, I’ll let her go.  But I won’t let my fear and insecurity dictate the course of our relationship, because that, my friend, is not love.”

 

Naomi finally came forward.  “She’s right, Mom,” she agreed, dropping to her knees before her beloved.  She kissed her gently.  “Well said.  And I’m not running off with the Traveler, so don’t think I might,” she added.  “Though I might want you at the altar sooner than later,” she teased, wrapping her arms around Kieran’s neck.

 

Kieran smiled warmly, resting her hands on Naomi’s waist, pulling the slender Ktarian into her lap.  “How long have you been eavesdropping, bad girl?” she taunted her lover.

 

“Long enough to know that I’m crazy about you,” Naomi replied sincerely, eyes shining with love.  “I told you I’ll never leave you, and I meant it.  I guess I’ll have to convince you by showing you,” she kissed Kieran’s forehead.

 

Kieran grinned at her.  “By all means.  Want a beer?”

 

“Nope, I’m on duty.  I just came to make sure you two hadn’t eviscerated each other,” she nudged Kathryn playfully.

 

“Not quite,” Kathryn informed her.  “Though Kieran does provoke me,” she smirked.

 

Naomi laughed, waggling her eyebrows.  “Oh, she’s provocative, all right.  God, I love that suit.  Will you wear it for me later?” she flirted, unabashedly ogling her lover.

 

Kieran groaned.  “Naomi, don’t flirt with me in front of your mother,” she admonished.  “Are you trying to get me killed?”

 

She was incorrigible.  “I’m trying to get you thrilled,” she kissed her again, giggling happily.  “Is it working?” she batted her eyelashes.

 

“Are you sporting Sieken’s pheromone soaked underwear or something?  I think your hormones are still in overdrive,” Kathryn bitched.  “Go back to work, young lady.”

 

Naomi never looked at her.  “Aye, Captain,” she giggled.  “You,” she pressed her lips against Kieran’s again “have a great afternoon.  I love you tremendously.”

 

Kieran smiled into their kiss.  “I love you, too, sweetie.”

 

Naomi jogged out of the holodeck, renewed again. 

 

Kieran watched her go, her expression fond and grateful.  “God, I love her,” she muttered to herself.

 

“You really do, don’t you?” Kathryn asked softly.

 

Kieran nodded.  “I wouldn’t have sacrificed my friendship with you, if I didn’t, Kat.”

 

Kathryn grabbed Kieran’s hands, drawing her closer.  “Our friendship is not gone, Kato.  Neither is our working relationship.  Please, I’m asking you to work with me on this.  I’m seeing Dee twice a week, as it is, and I’m trying to come to terms with all of this. It’s a lot to deal with at one time.  But I do love you, and I don’t want to lose you.  Don’t give up on me yet.  You’re a great Counselor.  Surely you can help me—help us—keep this situation intact.”

 

Kieran was reluctant to agree, but she knew Naomi would want her to hang in there.  “I’ll do my best, Captain,” she agreed finally.

 

“Good.  Thank you,” Kathryn replied sincerely.  She saw the sunlight catch a reflection off Kieran’s chest.  “May I see that?” she reached for the necklace Naomi had given Kieran.  “Always and Only You,” she said aloud.  “My daughter is a hopeless romantic,” she said softly.

 

Kieran pulled away, smiling.  “So is her lover,” she added.  “I never take it off.”

 

“So, shall we go for a swim, or just sit here and get drunk?” Kathryn asked. 

“Let’s swim, and then we’ll finish getting drunk,” Kieran decided.

 

“See? We can agree on some things,” Kathryn chided her.  “Race you,” she jumped up and sprinted for the water.

 

__________________

 

 

The sun was setting over the ocean when Naomi came back to the holodeck, worried because Kieran hadn’t come home.  She found the two women, arms slung around each other, singing at the top of their lungs and laughing.  Empty beer bottles littered the blanket they shared, and both women were disheveled, as if they had forgotten to dry off after going for a swim.

 

“Good grief,” Naomi rolled her eyes.  “It’s a wonder neither of you drowned,” she scolded them.

 

“Hey!  Look, it’s Naomi!” Kathryn announced to Kieran.  “Hi honey!  We were just--we were--what the fuck were we doing, Kato?”

 

Kieran howled with laughter.  “I have no earthly idea,” she laughed so hard her face turned beet red.  “We weren’t fucking, but I don’t know what the fuck we were doing,” she wheezed at her own joke, slapping Kathryn’s thigh.

 

“Okay, you two,” Naomi cleaned up the empty bottles and put them in the sack Kathryn had brought.  “Time to get some food in you.  Real food, not this crap,” she shook her head sadly at the half eaten candy bars and the empty bag of chips.  “God, you both reek,” she commented.  She gathered their things and shut down the holodeck computer, and all that was left was an empty cooler, their towels, and their discarded sandals. 

 

“Kieran,” she said in a no nonsense tone.  “Put on your sandals and take this,” she handed the Counselor a wad of towels. 

 

“Mother,” she continued, “put on your sandals and grab your sunglasses.  Everybody out, now march,” she instructed.  She corralled them both in the direction of Kathryn’s quarters, where Seven of Nine had dinner waiting for all of them.

 

Seven rolled her eyes as she realized how drunk the two women were.  “Well?”

 

Naomi grinned.  “Worked like a charm,” she winked at Seven.   Kathryn and Kieran started to sing again, leaning against each other for support.

 

“Dear God,” Naomi looked skyward.  “Make it stop.”

 

Seven banged around in the kitchen, grinning at Naomi.  “I’m going to give them a counteracting agent, if that’s okay with you.”

 

“Please, yes!” Naomi leaned wearily on the counter of the breakfast bar.  “Just make K-Mom stop singing.”

 

Within fifteen minutes, the hilarity had abated, and all that remained of the alcohol was a mildly pleasant contentment.  Kathryn and Kieran were all smiles, totally agreeable with each other, and engaging as conversationalists.

 

Naomi winked at Seven.  Sometimes, the ends do justify the means, she decided.

 

___________________

 

Kathryn Janeway utilized the remaining time aboard Voyager to make arrangements for her crew.  The Traveler opened a communications feed for the Captain, so that she could talk to Starfleet in real time, and she was busy making sure all of her people would have places to go, people around them to help them transition back to life in the Alpha Quadrant, and jobs if they wanted them. 

 

She and Kieran worked tirelessly, meeting with each person to find out what they wanted to do next and helping to pave the way for their new lives.  Most of the crew planned extended leaves, which Starfleet was granting as comp time for the years they had been missing.  Some were retiring and just wanted to buy homes on Earth, others were planning a brief vacation to be followed by immediate reassignment. 

 

“That takes care of everyone but the Senior Officers, Neelix, and Icheb,” Kieran went down the checklist with the Captain.

 

“Starfleet is offering Neelix a post in the childcare center at headquarters,” Kathryn advised, “so check him off.  He’ll jump at that chance.  Icheb is applying to the Academy, and while they process his application, he is going to have a fellowship at the National Astrometrics Consortium.  He’ll be meeting with the folks at the Academy, when we first get back, and then he’ll be off to his fellowship.  He’s very excited about it,” Kathryn sighed wistfully.  “I feel like I’m losing a son,” she said sadly.

 

“He’ll be done at the Academy in no time, Kat,” Kieran assured her.  “Some lucky captain will snatch him up, you know it,” her brown eyes shone, thinking of the studious young man.  “I’ve contacted Starfleet’s Counseling Center, about Jamari,” she switched gears.  “I’m supposed to meet with him and his counselor, there.  The Curtises are going to stay in San Francisco for the time being, take some time off to settle in with Tessie and Jamari.”

 

“Well, I’m glad that’s settled,” Kathryn agreed.  “I still can’t believe he did that to your office,” she said grimly.  “You know who I’m really worried about?” she asked, leaning back in her chair.  “B’Elanna.  She has no close relatives on Earth, and she isn’t ready to take another assignment with Starfleet.  She seems totally at a loss to think about her future.  She doesn’t want to be too far from you, so you can spend time with Katie, but she doesn’t want to tag along with us, either.  I have to talk to her about it, if she can ever get away from Engineering.”

 

Kieran frowned.  “I hadn’t thought about it, but she is more disenfranchised than even the full-blooded aliens in the crew,” she realized.  “Her folks are both dead, and I think she has a cousin or two, but she’s not really attached to anyone or anyplace.  I wonder if she’s worried about it?”

 

“Well, I did my best negotiating for the former Maquis, and none of them are going to be charged with any crimes, but B’Elanna is a tough case.  She joined the Maquis because she was so disenfranchised, and I’m afraid she may find herself adrift.   She has seemed particularly lost since the divorce,” Kathryn added.  “I don’t say that as a dig, Kato, believe me.  It’s just the truth.”

 

“I know,” Kieran assented, touching Kathryn’s arm.  “No offense taken.  Maybe we should get her in here and talk to her.”

 

“I think I’d better handle that myself,” Kathryn decided.  “It might be awkward for you.”  She stretched lazily, glad that the hardest part of the journey home was already behind her.  “What are you and Naomi going to do?  Have you thought about it?”

 

Kieran shrugged.  “We’ve agreed to spend a week in San Francisco, for debriefings and reunions and the ceremony at the arena,” she couldn’t resist rolling her eyes.  “Then we’d like to spend some time with your mother, and with my folks.  After that, who knows?   Naomi wants to see Earth, and I’m more than happy to play tour guide.”

 

Kathryn nodded.  “My mother has had the old barn converted into a guesthouse, and Seven and I are going to live there for the time being.  You and Naomi are welcome to stay with us, though I imagine, if you come to the farm Mom will want you in the main house with her.  Phoebe is in Paris more than she’s at home, and she’s offered to let anyone that needs a place to stay use her farmhouse up the road.”

 

Kieran smiled.  “Thanks for the offer.  I’ll ask Naomi what she wants to do.  As long as I get a couple of weeks with Mom and Dad, I don’t really care where we live, if Naomi is happy. I don’t think she will want to be far from you and Seven, or Geejay,” Kieran bit her lip thinking about B’Elanna.  “I don’t know Kat, I really thought Noah and B’Elanna would get serious, fast.  They’re perfect for each other.”

 

“Maybe they just haven’t figured it out yet,” Kathryn said.  “But I think you’re right about them.  Eventually, they’ll figure it out.”

 

“Well, I’d feel Noah out, but he still hasn’t spoken to me since I told him I wasn’t interested in him, other than polite small talk when we run into each other, and a brief conversation about his participation in my command track exam.  I don’t know exactly what his hang up is, but I’m thinking it’s not just my relationship with Naomi,” she shook her head.

 

“Good God, Kieran, that’s been—what?  Over a year and a half ago? Ask him,” Kathryn threw her counseling advice right back at her.  “You’re the one who is always advocating dealing with things in the open.”

 

“Yeah, maybe.  I just don’t want to scratch at an old scab, you know?” she asked.

 

Kathryn only nodded.  “Tough to take your own advice, eh?” she needled her.

 

Kieran’s face darkened.  “All right, I’ll go see him right now.  How’s that?”

 

Kathryn laughed at her.  “Good.  Get out of my ready room.”

 

_________________

 

Noah Lessing was in his quarters, going through his belongings, recycling things he wouldn’t need on Earth, trying to weigh what to keep and what not to bother with.  He had weeded through his closet, and just as he thought he was done discarding clothing, he came across his jersey from the basketball league Kieran had organized.

 

Damn, he thought, sniffing the fabric, still smells like the gym. He thought about Kieran, and the league, and all the times they’d played each other.  Man, I miss her.  It just feels so weird, dating her ex-wife.  It’s not bad until I think about KT, and then, it just feels too--incestuous, or something.

 

The chime to his quarters rang, and he answered, still holding the jersey.  “KT?” he stepped back from the entrance.  “Too bizarre.  I was just thinking about you, and you showed up,” he advised, waving her inside.

 

“Reminiscing?” she pointed to the jersey.  “You know, I could whip your butt before we leave the Delta Quadrant, just for old time’s sake,” she offered, posturing.

 

He grinned.  “You wish, skin and bones.  Although, I have to say, KT, you look great.  You’re filling out, finally.  Naomi must be just what the Doctor ordered.”

 

Kieran smiled.  “She’s amazing, bud.  In fact, I came to talk to you about her.  Ever since she and I got together,” she helped herself to a seat on his couch, “you haven’t had two words to say to me.  Does the relationship bother you that much?  Are you not able to be my friend anymore?”

 

Noah’s face fell.  “It’s not your relationship,” he was quick to point out.  He went to the replicator without even asking, and procured two beers.  “I’m sorry if that’s what you thought, KT,” he handed her the drink.

 

“Then what, bud?  I miss you.  You’re not still upset because I wouldn’t have a relationship with you, are you?” she asked gently, scooting over to let him sit down.

 

“No, not at all,” he contended.  “It’s just--well, you remember what you said to me about boundaries, and all?”

 

“Yes,” she took a tentative sip of the brew.

 

“You told me you wouldn’t ever date Rachel, as long as I had feelings for her.  But here I am dating your ex-wife.  I just assumed you wouldn’t want much to do with me.  I know you totally froze Rachel out for dating B’Elanna,” he said guiltily.

 

“Oh, NoGame,” she took his hand, voice threaded with regret, “that’s completely different.  Rachel went after B’Elanna when there was still a chance for us to reconcile, before we even talked about a divorce.  That seemed like a violation to me.  But B’Elanna and I are over.  I love her, and I always will, but I want her to get on with her life, and I can’t think of anyone I’d rather see her do it with than you.  I love you, Noah.  I am so sorry I never sat you down to tell you so,” she shook her head regretfully, kissing the back of his hand.  “I just assumed you found my relationship with Naomi so distasteful that you had decided you didn’t need my friendship, anymore.  I thought you were avoiding me.”

 

He laughed.  “And I thought you were avoiding me.  You’re right, it’s a good thing we never tried to be lovers, the way we muff our communication all the time,” he squeezed her hand fondly.  “So you really are okay with B’Elanna and me?”

 

Kieran set her beer on the coffee table, turning to face him.  “As long as you never hurt her, and you’re good to my daughter, I’m your biggest cheerleader, bud.”

 

“KT,” he hugged her, “I love Katie.  You know that.  I’d be thrilled if she were mine,” his voice had a catch in it.

 

“I’ll share her,” Kieran promised.  “I think kids benefit from having an extended family, and I trust you completely with her.  In fact, I’d be thrilled if you and B’Elanna give her a little brother or sister.  Siblings are a wonderful thing.  Speaking of which, have you heard anything from Aliqua or your folks?”

 

He nodded eagerly.  “They’ve all been located.  They pretty much washed their hands of Starfleet, after Equinox got lost, and the last they knew, I was on that ship.  When Starfleet tried to contact them to tell them I was on Voyager, they ignored the communiqués, thinking it was just some follow up crap to my disappearance, and they never knew I was on Voyager.  This conduit the Traveler created, the one that let’s us talk to home in real time?”

 

Kieran nodded.  “What about it?”

 

“Captain Janeway called my parents directly to tell them I’m alive.  Can you believe she did that for me?” his eyes softened.  “I started to understand why you love her so much, KT.  I don’t think she did that for anyone else on the whole crew.  I talked to them all--Mom, Dad, Aliqua--Aliqua’s husband Reggie, her three kids--I have a huge family, KT.  Huge.  And they are so excited I’m coming home,” he practically shook with glee. 

 

Kieran patted his leg, happy for him.  “That’s great, bud.  I hope I get to meet them all.”  She looked around his quarters, a bit melancholy.  “I’ve had some really good times in this room,” she said, studying his remaining decorations.  “I’ve had some good talks with you and some amazing belly laughs, and you’ve taken me to the absolute limit of my basketball skills, just to stay even with you, Noah.  You’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and I’ve had some damned good friends in my life.  I would be so thrilled if I knew you and B’Elanna were happy together, and Katie had you for a dad.  I can’t imagine anything better for all of us.”

 

He grinned nervously, thinking that Kieran had some pretty grandiose plans for his relationship, which he was just beginning to find his footing in.  “I love you, too, KT.  I think we’ll always be friends, you and I.  I don’t know what the future holds for B’Elanna and me, but knowing you don’t disapprove should help me get myself right with her.  I’ve been holding back out of guilt over you.  And she just hasn’t been able to understand why there’s that wall in my heart.  But if you’re really okay with it, I’ll take down the walls and let myself really see what that relationship can be about.”

 

Kieran reclaimed his hand.  “Good for you, bud.  You know, when you were trying to help me sort out my relationship with B’Elanna, you showed me that catalogue of SED’s,” she began.

 

“SED’s?” he wasn’t following.

 

“Sexual Enrichment Devices,” Kieran laughed.  He chuckled too.  “I was pretty shocked.  So let me return the favor, bud.  I’m going to suggest something to you that you might find a little difficult to entertain, but knowing you and B’Elanna as well as I do, I’d like you to think about it.”

 

He smirked.  “Is this coming from the Ship’s Counselor?” he wanted to clarify the role.

 

“Take it however you like,” she smiled warmly at him.  “I think B’Elanna really is bisexual, bud.  And I think you’re the kind of man who could handle two women in your life.”

 

His jaw dropped.  “Like--a three-way relationship?” he asked, incredulous.

 

Kieran nodded.  “Look, I think in an ideal world, nonmonogamy would be the rule of the day, but culturally, most of us are just too insecure to deal with it.  I knew I couldn’t share B’Elanna with a man, and that was a big reason I left, because I think she needs both types of sexual experiences to make her happy.  Hell, I couldn’t even deal with using toys to give her the type of sexual experience she probably needed, I’m so set in my ways.  But you’re an open-minded guy.  And God knows, you’ve got enough energy for two women.”

 

He waggled his eyebrows.  “Don’t I know it?”

 

“I’m just saying, if the opportunity arises, keep an open mind.  If you and Rachel could have added a woman to the mix of your relationship, it would’ve worked fine for her.  You need to ask yourself if you can handle it, and maybe explore it gradually with B’Elanna, but I think you two would be great together, if you had that extra element in the relationship.  B’Elanna gets bored easily, so keep throwing things at her that are different, and she’ll stick around a long time,” Kieran confided in him.

 

He studied her for a long moment.  “I’ll think about it, thanks,” he discerned she was serious.

 

“I have to get back to work,” she apologized, “but I’m glad we cleared the air, bud.  Don’t be a stranger.  And don’t think anything will make me stop loving you.  Okay?”

 

They rose from the couch, hugging, and she patted his back.  He winced in pain, and jerked away from her.

 

“Noah,” she reached around and lifted the back of his shirt, “are you injured?” 

 

There on his back were the telltale signs of B’Elanna Torres’ fingernail marks.

 

“Oh,” Kieran recognized them.  “Bud, I have two words for you.  Dermal regenerator.  It’s your only hope for survival.”

 

He grinned sheepishly.  “I have one, but I can’t reach the middle of my back.  I don’t want to go to sickbay,” he admitted.

 

Kieran laughed.  “Go get the regenerator, I’ll fix you up.  Next time, make B’Elanna do it herself before she leaves,” she scolded him.

 

He blanched.  “And let her think I can’t take it?” he called out from the bedroom as he rummaged through the nightstand.

 

“Pride or pain, bud.  Your choice,” she laughed as he came back.  Seeing his genuine dilemma, she patted his arm.  “Tell you what,” she offered.  “You get scraped up, you come see me, and I’ll fix you up.  I’ll never tell a soul.”

 

“You’d do that for me?” he asked hopefully, lifting his shirt.

 

“I will, but don’t think it’s going to be cheap,” she teased.  She tried not to wince at the claw marks.

 

“How much,” he asked suspiciously.

 

“Oh, one sibling for Katie, I think,” she laughed in his face.

 

He grinned, hugging her again as she closed his wounds.  “Sounds like a bargain, if you ask me,” he agreed.

 

____________________

 

 

The transwarp corridor collapsed behind them, and they emerged in the Alpha Quadrant, where an entire armada of ships was waiting to escort them home.

 

Jean-Luc Picard of the Enterprise initiated the hail. 

 

“On screen,” Kathryn ordered, her face already working.

 

“Welcome home, Voyager,” he greeted them warmly.  “It’s good to have you back.  Starfleet Command sends its highest praise to your intrepid crew.  Captain,” he addressed Janeway specifically, “is your ship space worthy?”

 

“Let me check,” she nodded to her First Officer. 

 

Chakotay nodded affirmation.  “All stations report normal,” he said brightly.

 

“Let’s get you back to Earth, then,” Jean-Luc said amiably.  “Captain, if you don’t mind, I’d like to beam over and thank Mr. Crusher and his companion in person.  Oh, and if it’s not too much trouble, I’d like a word with your Ship’s Counselor,” he added, grinning ear to ear.

 

Kathryn nodded.  “Of course.  At your convenience, Sir,” she addressed him formally to remind herself to keep her emotions in check.

 

“All hands, this is the Captain.  We are now in the Alpha Quadrant,” she announced.  A lusty cheer rang out through the ship, hugs were exchanged all around, and the tears began to flow.  “Jean-Luc, I’ll meet you in the transporter room.”

 

 “Mr. Worf,” he addressed the sturdy Klingon, “you have the bridge.”

 

__________________

 

Commander Kieran Thompson forgot all propriety and gathered the aging Captain into a fierce hug, nearly crushing him in the process.

 

Picard only chuckled, hugging her back.  He held her out by the arms, looking her up and down.  “You look wonderful, Kieran,” he squeezed her arms fondly.  “And I have a whole ship full of people who are waiting to welcome you home.”

 

Kieran’s eyes watered.  “Thank you, Captain, for saving us,” she kissed his cheek.  “I can’t believe we’re finally going home.”

 

He took her arm and they walked through the arboretum.  “I’ve read your reports on the spatial anomaly you were lost in.  Fascinating,” he breathed appreciatively.  “I’d like to hear that story in detail,” he smiled up at her.

 

“It would be my pleasure, Sir.  It is so good to see you again, Captain,” she simply couldn’t restrain her joy.  “How have you been?”

 

“Oh, well, you know me,” he blustered, never one for personal revelations.  “Fit as a fiddle.  I’ve been worried about you, I admit.  I felt—responsible for what happened to you.  Not quite what Counselor Troi and I had in mind, when we reassigned you from Enterprise,” he chuckled.  “I am deeply sorry.”

 

Kieran squeezed his arm.  “We both know it comes with the territory, Sir.  There’s no apology needed.  I wouldn’t do it differently, even if I could, Sir.”

 

“Truly?” he was stunned.

 

“Yes, Sir,” she smiled warmly at him.  “You must meet my fiancée, and then you’ll understand why,” she laughed.

 

“I’d love to meet--er--her?” he floundered.

 

Kieran nodded.  “Yes, her.”

 

“Splendid.  I’ll look forward to it.  Deanna and Beverly are spoiling to get their hands on you, I’m afraid.  Will Riker’s new ship, Titan, is part of the Armada escorting us. I don’t need to tell you how badly it went for me, losing my First Officer and my Ship’s Counselor in one fell swoop, and then losing Data, too,” Picard elaborated.  “That traitor Will is going to try to steal you away, no doubt.  He needs a first officer, and he’s talked of nothing but you since this rescue plan was thrown together,” he confided.  “Worf is acting as my number one, for now, but he is not really interested in keeping the job.  Would you consider taking it over?”

 

Kieran was flattered beyond words.  “Oh, Sir, I--I--what an amazing opportunity,” she breathed.  “But I am going on an extended leave.  I have family and friends to catch up with, and then there’s Naomi, who wants to go the Academy, and my daughter--”

 

“Yes, yes,” he patted her arm.  “I realize the conversation is premature.  However, I would be gratified if you at least agree to speak to me before you accept another posting.  Will you?”

 

“Yes, Captain, of course,” she was fairly reeling from the implications.  First Officer on the flagship of the fleet!  “I’m honored that you’d even consider me,” she was overcome by the prospect.

 

Naomi Wildman came jogging down the path toward them, smiling.  “Hi, honey,” she greeted her lover, “I was--oops, sorry,” she stopped short, seeing Kieran was with a Captain. 

 

“Captain Jean-Luc Picard,” Kieran introduced them, “Ensign Naomi Wildman, my fiancée.”

 

Picard’s eyes flew open wide.  He extended his hand.  “So glad to meet you, Ensign,” he squeezed her hand warmly.  “You’re the woman who was born aboard ship, aren’t you?” he hesitated to call her a girl, as she was clearly much older than the twelve years he knew she had lived. 

 

“Yes, Sir,” she agreed.  “Half-human, half-Ktarian,” she offered, seeing he was studying her features.

 

“Of course,” he nodded enthusiastically.  “Welcome home.  Kieran says you’d like to attend the Academy,” he continued walking, both women in tow.

 

“Yes, Sir, but only after a long visit with family.  I’ve never met any of them, and I expect it will be a huge adjustment,” her hazel eyes twinkled, excited at the idea.

 

“I was just telling your lovely betrothed that when the dust settles, I’m going to need a First Officer,” he filled her in.  “I’m giving Kieran first right of refusal.”

 

Naomi stopped walking, pulling them both up short.  “First Officer of the Enterprise?  Really?” she smiled so brightly, it was as if the room had a supernova in it.  “Oh, Kieran, that’s wonderful,” she breathed.  “I am so proud of you,” she kissed her beloved’s cheek.

 

“Well,” Jean-Luc reported, “she hasn’t said yes, but perhaps you could work on her for me?  I’d consider it a personal favor,” he smiled at the young Ktarian.  “And I always repay a favor, when I can,” he laughed.

 

“He doesn’t know about K-Mom, does he?” Naomi said softly.

 

Kieran shook her head.

 

“No secrets, ladies, please,” he insisted, rubbing his palm over his bald head.

 

“It’s just that, Captain Janeway--Naomi’s adoptive mother--has her sites set on me, too, Sir,” Kieran advised.  “She recruited me into command school specifically so she and I could serve together.  She might not let me go without a fight.”

 

His eyes sparkled.  “Well, then,” he chuckled.  “You’ve known me a long time, Commander. Have you ever seen me back down from a good scrap?”

 

Kieran grinned.  “No, Sir,” she agreed.

 

“I understand you’re quite the scrapper, yourself,” he continued.  “I heard that like me, you’ve got an artificial heart,” he tapped his chest.

 

“Yes, Sir,” she confirmed.

 

“Yes, Captain,” Naomi piped up.  “I was kidnapped by some very nasty aliens, and Kieran leapt to my defense,” she bragged about her partner.  “They shot her point blank in the chest.”

 

“Oh, Naomi,” Kieran lay an arm around her shoulders.  “You make it sound a lot more interesting than it really was.”

 

Picard let out a booming laugh.  “I see your penchant for understatement and humility continues, Kieran,” he winked at Naomi.  His face ached from smiling so much.  “Did Wesley tell you about the statue?” he guffawed.

 

Kieran pinched the bridge of her nose.  “He did, Sir.  I couldn’t be more embarrassed,” she admitted.

 

“Well, then, perhaps you’ll be more inclined to get back into space.  I’m afraid you’re going to be in the limelight for some time, like it or not.  All of you will.  The public is clamoring for details.  Your biographers are waiting for you all,” he continued.  “No prying reporters in space, though, keep that in mind,” he was mightily amused.

 

They completed the path through the enclosure for the third time, and Picard checked the chronometer.  “I’d better get back to my ship, before Beverly takes over,” he joked.  “I’m hosting a dinner party in your honor, this evening, Commander, so that your old friends can say hello.  And Kieran,” he kissed her cheek in farewell, “please, don’t let decade pass before we speak, once you’re back on Earth.  As soon as you’re ready to think about your next posting, hail me.”

 

“I will, Captain Picard.  Thank you again, Sir,” she dipped her head as he left the arboretum. 

 

Kieran stood there, unable to move.  Naomi jumped up and down, clapping her hands.  “The Enterprise!” she enthused.  “Could anything be better?” she demanded to know.

 

“Na,” Kieran began, a warning tone coloring her vocal inflections, “what about the Academy?  What about your plans?”

 

Naomi beamed up at her, face radiant with love.  “We’ll figure out something, I’m sure of it.  There has to be a way for both of us to get what we want.”

 

Kieran rested her large hands on Naomi’s petite shoulders.  “My love, I have everything I want, right here.  If it comes down to a choice between your going to school and not going to school, I think you know I’m going to vote for your education.”

 

Naomi stretched up to kiss her, lingering over the sensation.  “I love you for that, Kieran.  But it doesn’t hurt to dream, does it?”

____________________

 

Captain Jean-Luc Picard commandeered Ten-Forward for a dinner party aboard the Enterprise, so that her old friends could greet Kieran Thompson properly.  Guinan organized the event, eager to see the woman who had taught her to make the best barbecued beef she’d ever eaten.  Deanna Troi and her husband, Will Riker, came from the Titan, and it was like old times for the former Enterprise crew, save for the fact that Commander Data had been lost in action.

 

Kieran and Naomi entered the lounge, smiling at the assembled guests, Kathryn and Seven in tow.  Introductions were exchanged, and the welcome home became official.  Worf gave Kieran a bottle of Klingon bloodwine, grinning at the memory of her overindulgence in the strong drink when Robin Lefler had jilted her.

 

Kieran hugged the heavily-muscled Klingon.  “Thanks, Worf,” she laughed.  “I’ve really missed this stuff,” she teased.

 

“I understand you were married to a Klingon,” he said in his growly voice.  “I am pleased that you survived,” he smirked humorously.

 

“I was, and we have a daughter who looks more Klingon than human.  She’s a handful,” Kieran advised.

 

“I imagine she is, considering her parentage,” he agreed.  “Ensign,” he extended his arm to Naomi, “I will seat you, now,” he escorted her formally to the table.

 

Before Kieran could turn to follow them, Deanna Troi had her in a gripping hug.  “Commander,” she touched Kieran’s pips fondly, “I’ve missed you, and I’m so sorry,” she gazed up at the tall Counselor.

 

Kieran kissed her forehead.  “Deanna, don’t be sorry,” she hugged her back.  “I missed you, too.  Though we did a damned good job of programming you on Voyager,” she laughed.  “Your hologram is every bit as perturbing as you are,” she teased.

 

Troi laughed liltingly.  “I made sure the data packets I sent had plenty of my golden personality imbedded in them,” she smarted.  “I hope Dee kept you on your feet.”

 

“In any form, you’re an amazing instructor, and I owe you a huge debt of thanks,” Kieran continued to hold her hands as they stepped apart.  “I learned everything I know about counseling from you.  And believe me, twelve years of isolation required a lot of counseling on that ship.”  She studied the dark-haired counselor, smiling at her.  “How is your mother?” she asked, laughing.

 

Deanna laughed in reply.  “A pain, as always, bless her heart.”

 

“KIE—RAN!” Guinan spotted her as she came from behind the bar and bolted across the room, grabbing her up in a hug.

 

“Guinan,” Kieran laughed, spinning her around.  “You haven’t changed a bit,” she hugged her tightly.

 

“Neither have you,” Guinan replied, grinning ear to ear.  “And why am I not surprised you’re engaged to another gorgeous woman?” she needled the counselor.

 

“She is gorgeous, isn’t she?” Kieran gazed at her lover, meeting her eyes across the room. 

 

“Speaking of, what ever happened with—?” Deanna began, but Kieran’s warning look stopped the inquiry.

 

“What else could have happened?” Kieran’s face darkened.  “The circumstances were what they were.  When Voyager reestablished contact with the Federation, I contacted her and told her I was alive, and had a partner.  She wrote back to say she was glad I was all right, and she wished me well.  She told me absolutely nothing about her personal life—whether she ever married, had children, I don’t know,” she referred to the scientist she had been engaged to when Voyager was lost. 

 

“It’s still a sore point with you,” Deanna felt Kieran’s emotions.  “I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

 

Kieran shrugged.  “It’s not something I’ve ever discussed with anyone—not my ex-wife, not my fiancée, not anyone.  I just—can’t.”

 

Guinan squeezed Kieran’s fingers in her own.  “Then you shouldn’t have to.  But for the record, she never married, and she has no children.  She threw herself into her work, didn’t she Deanna?”

 

“Completely,” Deanna agreed.  “She was aboard Enterprise for four months after Voyager was lost, and I know she hoped she could find a way to rescue you.  She never believed for a second the ship was destroyed.  If it’s any consolation, she was heartbroken, as I’m sure you were, Kieran.  I’m a bit surprised she sent you such a cryptic response.”

 

Kieran sighed.  “What was the point of saying more?  Our best estimates put us arriving home in forty years, after Kes threw us back as far as she could,” she said softly.  “As they say on Qian, let us not give it substance by speaking of it.  It’s the past, and I was just as heartbroken.  But I’ve moved on.”

 

“Well, from the look Naomi is giving you, I’d say moving on was a splendid idea,” Deanna smiled.  “She’s lovely, Kieran.”

 

“She’s also brilliant,” Kieran bragged.  “Wesley and the Traveler want to recruit her, but thankfully, she’s staying with me.”

 

“What are you going to do next?” Guinan inclined her head, the large hat she wore bobbing comically as she moved.

 

“Na wants to go to school, and I’m going to go with her.  I’ll probably get my doctorate degree.  We’ll see.  We want to do some traveling, and visit family—that sort of thing.  Of course, I want to do as much diving as I can,” she enthused.  “We have so much leave accumulated, we could take off years.”

 

Deanna nodded.  “Yes, but there’s going to be pressure to get you on a ship again, now that you’ve got that third pip.  Will wants you so badly he can taste it.  Captain Picard said there’s a chance they’ll offer you a captaincy, they are so desperate for seasoned command candidates.  The ranks are depleted from the war, and we have babes in positions of authority.  It’s truly frightening, how green our people are, especially on the smaller classes of ships,” she reported.

 

Kieran was stunned.  “Me, a captain?  I’m not qualified.  I just finished my command training,” she protested.  “That would be an ill-advised offer on Starfleet’s part.  I hope they wouldn’t expect me to sit down in the big chair, if they’re foolish enough to offer it,” she was alarmed.

 

“Be up front with them, if they do,” Deanna urged.  “Tell them you aren’t ready, if you’re not.  But I mean to tell you, Kieran, there are other captains with less command experience than you, throughout the fleet, simply because the death toll pushed people up the command chain so fast, out of necessity.  And with enrollment at the Academy flagging, there are more slots than bodies,” she said glumly.  “Will was pretty much told he had to take the Titan, because they couldn’t afford to have someone with his experience in an exec’s role.  Geordi La Forge has been offered at least three ships, and the pressure is mounting for him to take one.  Jean-Luc can’t shield him from the promotion much longer, I’m afraid, even though he doesn’t really want anything more than to run an engine room.”

 

“Speaking of, I need to say hello to him,” Kieran nodded at the Engineer, who was watching her from across Ten-Forward.   “When did he get rid of his visor?”

 

Beverly Crusher had snuck up behind the three women, and slipped her arm through Kieran’s.  “About four years ago,” she reported.  “Handsome devil, isn’t he?” she grinned up at the much taller woman.

 

“Beverly,” Kieran kissed her cheek.  “Thank you for sending Wesley to rescue us,” she took the doctor in a tight embrace.  “The relief is indescribable.”

 

“Funny, I’m sure being lost was a hardship, but you all look so good,” Crusher marveled at her.

 

“Captain Janeway is a miraculous leader.  She saved our collective hides more times than I can count, and kept us from starving.  But it was touch and go, enough times,” Kieran confided.

 

“I understand you, in particular, have had some close calls,” Beverly grinned.  “Maltanian disruptor to the chest, was it?”

 

Kieran laughed.  “Yeah.  Hell of a way to have your heart destroyed,” she agreed.

 

“And I always thought that was Robin Lefler’s job,” Beverly quipped.  “I understand the organ failed recently?”

 

“You’ve been reading my medical records?” Kieran was surprised.

 

“Your EMH downloaded them to our database, for safekeeping.  It must have been frightening, thinking you could lose your only qualified medical practitioner to a computer core failure,” she noted with sympathy.

 

“There were several times I’d have given my pips for your services,” Kieran admitted.  “Most notably when Naomi was on her deathbed and no one could figure out why,” she scowled.

 

“I read about that, too,” Beverly nodded.  “Kate Pulaski heads up Starfleet Medical, now.  She’s going to have a field day with Naomi’s case history,” she smiled.   “It’s good to have you home again, KT,” she added, squeezing her arm.  “I’ve scolded Wesley at length for disappearing five years, when he could have had you home much sooner.”

 

“I have to believe everything happens for a reason, and in its own good time,” Kieran replied.  “Otherwise, the capriciousness of our existence would drive me mad.”

 

Deanna extended her senses once more, taking in Kieran’s affect.  “You’ve been through an unimaginable ordeal, all of you,” she said gently.  “If you ever want to talk,” she offered.

 

“I might,” Kieran agreed.  “But we missed the war, and you all suffered through that.  Overall, I imagine Voyager’s crew had the better end of that bargain,” she said thoughtfully.

 

Geordi La Forge was tired of waiting and strode across the room, holding out his hands to Kieran.  “Commander,” he smiled warmly at her.  “It’s good to see you.”

 

Kieran kissed his cheek, stooping to reach him. Geordi was a short, compact man.  “Geordi,” she murmured.  “You’re looking well.”

 

“So you’re engaged to an Engineer,” he puffed up his chest.  “Good choice.”

 

Kieran laughed.  “I think so.  It seems to be a pattern, with me—Robin Lefler, my first wife, now Naomi,” she realized.  “I guess I fall for women who know all the things I don’t,” she decided.

 

“You always did have a tendency to find the smart ones,” Geordi thought of Kieran’s scientist.  He considered inquiring about her, but Deanna was giving him a phaser-intense look to warn him off that line of questioning.

 

“I like a challenge,” Kieran agreed. 

 

“Do you have one, with Naomi?” Guinan put in.

 

“Oh, definitely.  She is easily ten times smarter than I’ll ever be.  Luckily, she’s also patient, while I’m getting up to speed on whatever she’s trying to teach me,” Kieran smirked.   “She’s also an astounding musician.  Maybe if you’re all lucky, she’ll play for you.”

 

“Do you still play?” Beverly wanted to know.

 

“Rarely,” Kieran admitted.  “I love to sing, but I let Naomi do the accompaniment, when I get the urge to warble a bit.  She’s also got a much better voice than mine, though, so I mostly listen to her.  She’s a phenomenal composer, too.  One of the planets we visited wanted her in their symphony orchestra.”

 

Geordi grinned.  “I bet she can’t slam dunk, though,” he remembered Kieran’s basketball prowess.

 

“Nope, she can’t.  And that’s one thing I can do,” she laughed.  “That, and a credit slip will get you a cup of coffee.  We had a really great basketball league on the ship.  It was a ton of fun, playing again.  I’m going to miss it—all of it.  I spent a third of my life on Voyager, and Naomi spent her whole life there.”

 

Geordi was puzzled.  “Her whole life?  But KT, that would only make her twelve,” he pointed out.

 

Kieran waggled her eyebrows.  “That’s right.  She was born on the ship.”

 

His jaw dropped several inches.  “Born—but—she’s at least twenty,” he protested.

 

Deanna shook her head.  “Not all species mature at the same rate, Geordi,” she admonished.

 

“Oh.  Sorry, I never thought of that.  She’s certainly beautiful, KT.”

 

Kieran nodded.  “Yes, and if I don’t go join her shortly, she’ll be none too happy with me.  Will is grilling her about something.  Let me guess, Deanna.  Titan needs an engineer?”

 

Deanna laughed.  “Among other things, yes.  I’m sure he’s trying to convince her how good you’d look on his bridge,” she grinned.  “You do look stunning in red,” she smiled winningly.

 

Kieran brushed her hands down her command red uniform front.  “Thanks.  Now that we’re home, Kathryn told me to switch to the red.  I guess I’m not just a starship shrink,” she echoed Robin Lefler’s pejorative description of her career choice, making Deanna laugh again.  “I feel conspicuous, though, since our uniforms are so out of style.”

 

“I like the old ones,” Geordi put in.  “Everyone looks alike, now.”

 

 “Yeah, but you look deadly handsome in black, Geordi,” Kieran winked at him.

 

Beverly nudged him.  “Leah sure thinks so.”

 

Kieran’s eyes widened.  “Leah?  Leah Brahms?”

 

Geordi would’ve blushed if his skin tone could have shown it.  “We’re dating,” he admitted.

 

“Dating?” Deanna howled.  “Is that what you call burning up subspace every night?”

 

“Okay, we’re seriously involved,” he agreed.  “I’m thinking of popping the question.”

 

“Her divorce was only final a few months ago,” Beverly noted.  “I’d give her more time, if I were you.”

 

“I’ll take it under advisement,” he agreed.  “But I’m not a patient man.”

 

Kieran noted that Naomi was giving her a pleading look.  “I think I need to join my own impatient partner,” she hugged everyone before taking her seat.  “I’m starving, you guys.”

 

____________________

 

The Earth hung in the view screen, more blue than Kieran could recall ever seeing it.  There was a hush on the bridge, as everyone got their first glimpse of home in over twelve years.  Harry Kim shook with emotion, tears coursing down his face, and Kieran had to shore him up with a firm grip on his shoulder.  Kathryn’s lips trembled, the beauty of the giant orb too much for her.  The tension that had held her together for all those years, through all the strain and strife, seemed to wash out of her as she exhaled, and her shoulders actually slumped. 

 

Home.  Finally, she could stop carrying the weight of the whole world on her back, the responsibility for over 150 lives, the stress of fighting just to survive.  Home, where food was never rationed, energy was abundant, mechanical parts didn’t decompose at will, and one never worried that the only competent medical care might suddenly be lost to a computer glitch.  Home.

 

The senior staff moved, as if in a trance, toward the view screen, clasping hands, forming a semicircle around the spectacle.  “She’s beautiful,” Tom Paris whispered.

 

A signal sounded at ops.  “We’re being hailed,” Harry realized, breaking from the group.  “It’s Starfleet, Captain.”

 

“On screen, Mr. Kim,” she said slowly, still transfixed by the image of the Earth.

 

The screen flickered and the faces of Admirals Nechayev and Paris resolved.  “Kathryn,” Owen Paris ignored the gravel in his throat, “welcome home.  Welcome home, Voyager.  Congratulations to you all for a job well done.  Captain, please go to station keeping,” he ordered.

 

“Yes, Sir,” Kathryn snapped to attention.  “Mr. Paris, assume standard orbit.  All decks to station keeping.”

 

“Aye, Ma’am.  All decks reporting ready to disembark.”

 

“Permission to disembark, Admiral?” Kathryn was breathless.

 

“Granted, Voyager.  We’ll see you all at the celebration within the hour,” he grinned proudly.

 

And just like that, the mission was over.  The lights dimmed on the bridge, and the senior staff looked at each other, not certain what to do.

 

“I guess we’re first,” Kathryn finally said.  “Senior staff to the transporter room.  Before you go, and we all scatter to the winds, I just want to say--” she felt her throat tighten.  “I just want to say, thank you all.  You are the finest crew a Captain could pray for.  I could not have made it through this experience without your expertise, your professionalism, and your friendship.”  She wiped her eyes impatiently.  “Please, keep in touch.  I want to know where and how you all are.  And if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.  I’ll be at my mother’s in Bloomington, Indiana, for the immediate future, after debriefings and press interviews and whatnot.  When I start putting together my next crew, expect to find me at your doorsteps.”

 

More hugs were exchanged, and they all boarded the turbo lift, preparing to start new lives without limitations.  No one spoke as the lift came to a halt, and they walked together toward the transporter room.  Kathryn and Seven walked onto the dais together, Seven carrying Geejay, holding Kathryn’s hand.  “Chakotay,” she said to her First, “you have the ship.  When the crew is evacuated, meet me on the ground.”  She looked out at her staff.  “Naomi, you’re still part of this family, you’ll debark with us.  Kieran, you’re about to be part of this family, you’re on this first transport.  B’Elanna, you and Katie come too.”  She glanced around once more, taking a deep breath.  “Commander, send us home.”

 

“Aye, Captain,” he smiled, preparing for his final task aboard Voyager.

 

“Energize,” Kathryn said softly.