1.20.04   Lobsters. Bloody Noses. The Circus...kinda.
5.23.04   Puss in Boots. January sucks. Ranting.
6.29.04   I hate Catalina Island and getting sodomized by a ten-thousand-dollar, mongolian-beast-hair violin bow.
7.01.04   Wisdom teeth.
7.13.04   Shitty summer reading projects. Dead Grandma and the battle for money.
7.27.04   ma schedule. predictions of things to come.
7.31.04   The Village sucks. And so do Milfs.
8.12.04   A REALLY LONG POST! Featuring homeless deadguy, the first appearance of the photo page, and everyone's favorite: gay dog!
8.18.04   My hair finally worked.
9.01.04   I robbed Fetusmart.
12.01.04   I'm crazy!
12.18.04   I don't like most things very much.
12.22.04   Fuck Christmas! AND....the best band ever.



1.20.04

Live Journals = stupid

You know those godamn ads on websites that intice you to shoot a clown or throw water balloons at osama bin laden's face until you feel obliged to play them...and then when you do, five more windows pop up saying that youre the grand winner or some bullshit like that? well, this is newest addition to the myriad of internet ad games. youre supposed to kill a lobster by grabbing it and throwing it into a boiling pot of water. terrible.

So...happy...new year...twenty days ago. January has got to be my least favorite month. Yes, I am aware that in Januaray, school is in session only four days every week. But its those four days that drive me crazy...January is crunch time to get your grades in shape so that your parents, who claim that they want you to do your best but really want you to BE the best, don't yell at you. As soon as I get a car, Ima runnin away ta join the circius. Circiuses are fun. Kelsey thinks the college experience would be fun, but would just rather finish high school and go to culinary school. thats another good idea. I mean, yesm, I do want to go to college, but when it comes to making a living, I'd rather not do anything. The Sims is the best game ever invented. They have a chance to have the awesomest jobs ever. Take the "slacker" career track. You start out as a golf caddy and can work yourself up to being a professional party guest. Some of the best jobs offered in the sims are: an exorcist (paranormal), captain hero (law), criminal mastermind (crime), professional party guest (slacker), venture capitalist (hacker), cult leader (paranormal), freelance photographer (slacker), paprazzi (journalism), lounge singer (music), and tabloid writer (journalism).

Well, if you've been wanting to know, the only reason Ima updating this is because I'm sick for the millionth time this year. I tried to go to school, got through second period, got a bloody nose from blowing my nose so much and decided that was it for today. It was really gross (my bloody nose). I was just finished taking a quiz in spanish. It was on food, "new" verbs, and words to describe fine art. Then I blew my nose, Jacobo said "bless you" when he should have said "salud" (with the accent on the "u"). Then my nose was bleeding everywhere. I got the tissues at my desk to try and stop it, but then blood started coming out of my other nostril. I think my hand was raised for about seven minutes when Sra. Leathers finally called on me. The funny thing is the whole time she was practically looking at me but it was like she just chose to not notice the bloddy tissue on my face and my hand raised straight into the air. While I was walking to the restroom, I could feel the blood clotting in my nose. When I finally reached the little girl's room (ew, i just said little girl's room...I HATE when people say that...its so stupid), I released the kleenex from the clutch of my bloody hands. The tissue fell into the trash can ever so gracefully. The massive dark red pulp that followed seemed to offset the tissue's feather-like qualities. JAJAJA! now you know how much of a freak I am by reading my description of a typical Mr. BoJangles bloody nose!

enough of that...the quotes page has been resurrected!!! You will find several new quotes...The melissa thing might show up again.. however, it probably won't becuase somebody told her about my website and she saw it so now I feel bad about it. I saw it as an homage to the genius behind Melissa's white people degradations. Others viewed it as a travesty. You'll also find that many quotes from my last page did not make the new page cut.. This is because those quotes were either old and outdated or a realized that the were stupid and never funny at all

I've got somehting to say! I killed your baby today and it doesn't really matter much to me as long as its dead. I've got something to say! I raped your mother today and it doesn't matter much to me as long as she's spread. Sweet lovely death I've been waiting for your breath. Woah seet death one last caress!

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5.23.04

OMG u guyz. i just dont no waht im gonna do w/o Frenz on tv!!!!11 *pout*

so there are 18 days left of school and 24 days until my birthday. I hope I get a pink parasol. I have nothing interesting to say today. you (who am i talking to anyway? myself?) can probably tell because I haven't updated since january. January sucks. so does May. and every month for that matter because I have to endure the pain of living with every fucktard on this earth. Why do people suck so much? Honestly, people are loud and annoying and rude and fat. Fat people suck too. I was reading some article on msn.com which "explained" the reason for obesity. they said that people who become obese usually have stomach pressure problems.so that when they eat, the pressure in their stomach doesn't go up, indicating to them to stop stuffing their faces with lard. this article is clearly a pile of shit because if you eat more food than you should, your stomach expands and stays that way. The more you eat, your stomach gradually grows larger, allowing more food to fit into it. articles trying to explain the reason for obesity in america just give all the fatfucks an excuse to eat more! assholes.

Whats wrong with non-obese people? I don't really want to waste precious time forming complex sentence structures on all the travesties of the world so I will simply make a list: RUHS choir and dance guard. NorCal, hella, the christian channel, avril lavigne, 'hot pocket punx', Canada, motown, people who think that the cows in the slaughter farms are all fake (because we get off by bashing in the heads of plastic cows), people whose names mean 'driftwood' in Italian, Sra. MMM! LARD! DOOHOOHOO!, funerals (yay! lets show our compassion for our 'loved ones' by throwing their rotting corpse in a pretty box and burying it!), michael bolton, feminists, cigarette smokers/vampires, pep rallies, XHappyAsAZebraX, panda express ads, people, life.

if I missed something, please feel free to email me.

now i am trying to decide whether i like capitalism or not. I think i like it because its an anti-commie system, but i don't like it because Bratz dolls are so damn expensive that you can't buy them in bulk and blow them up with firecrackers.

okay, you want to now about my life since January? my memory isn't that good, but I'll try my best. okay i took the AP Euro test. i'm sure I did fine. the only problem was that Mrs, Ferron said that at least 25% of the test would be on the cold war to the present. not a single question. it wasn't until after the test that mrs. ferron said that they don't have objectives on a subject if they have an frq on the subject. poo. i probably shouldn't be writing about this becasue mrs. ferron siad that if you are caught discussing test material they can find out who you are and devalidate your test. oh no! im scared! lets see, i don't remember anything that happened in february, march or april, except that the fiji mermaid came to town and we had a tea party. speaking of mermaids, whats with those mermaids on the new Peter Pan? those things are creepy. whats with the new Peter Pan in general? lousy production if you ask me. now that Im on the movies subject, I should tell you that I got a new watch. from a cheerios box. its a glow-in-the-dark Puss In Boots watch from the Shrek 2 movie. whoever thought of casting Antonio Banderas as puss in boots is a genious. Some people think I look like puss in boots. I must buy a pair of boots so i can become puss in boots.

so I guess it all comes down to this: DJ glitterboy makes everything a whole lot better.

mmm, MSG

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6.29.04

So it is summer...for once. Ja. I am so cool. Only one person signed my yearbook this year (well, two if you count me). Twas Sara. I have not read it yet. maybe I will next year. I'm sure it says lovely things. Well, I wrapped the schoolyear up in a pretty little box with a pink frilly bow and then sent it to the depths of davey jones's locker (thats the bottom of the ocean). I got pretty good grades. I never really looked at my report card but I'm sure its good. Next year ima gonna hafta juggle classes around to fit everything in. Ima gonna play jazz band and mr. aguero wants me to play sax. Playing sax will just fuck up my pro french horn skills so I think I'll just stick it to him and make him allow me to play keys. beeotch.

My soccer team (Force SC) played in a tournement this weekend. we came in fourth as we lost the damn consolation game on penalties. it was my fault. now I'm heartbroken. goddamnit, we had a very good chance of going to the first place game but then we had to go and lose to wolfpack. I think Force SC should change their name to Lambpack...or rabbitpack,...or crowmurder. B-Rice was being a negative nancy the whole time. we fucking played very well and he had to get his panties in an effin bundle. oh well, even if we had won against wolfpack, we would have been sodomized by a ten-thousand-dollar, mongolian-beast-hair violin bow courtesy of Arsenal. that would be balls.

Yay! i got a 20GB iPod for my birfday this year. i could have settled for the 15GB one, but my father bought it and I guess we realized that pirating and extra 5 gigs of music is a ton more fun than only pirating 15 gigs of music. my sister got me some stuff she found on the side of the street, in Rasputin's, and on the sale rack in Hot Pocket in Berkeley. And she made me a card.

We also went to Catalina. Speaking of which, I have pictures from there up on my site now. click on the photos thingy on the left. you'll find that there are more photos to pleasure yourself with too. ew. not porn, you obscene lesbians/perverts. "even if I was a bobo I wouldn't go out with you." well, back to catalina. it may look like we had tons of fun there, but I couldn't have asked for a harder pound in the ass (lets just say nothing is worse than NorCal band trip). The movie theater there only shows one movie a week and the movie is always rated G becasue stupid crack-babies want to go to the movies too. Becasue we had nothing better to do, sister and I bought two tickets for Around the World in 80 Days. We didn't even last twenty minutes. The funniest thing that happened in that twenty minutes was some guy getting hit in the balls every two minutes. To all the people who make movies: NEVER PUT JACKIE CHAN, ARNOLD SCHWARZAFUCKER, AND ROB SCHNEIDER IN THE SAME FUCKING MOVIE!!!!!11

So I'm sick once again. This is the second day missing soccer practice. I also missed my driving lesson. yay. this thursday i get to have some "dentists" rip my wisdom teeth out form under my gums. then I get to barf and starve for several days while my gum socket scabs get continuosly torn off causing my mouth to bleed. i can't wait. no really, this time I'm not being sarcastic, I think its going to fun.

I bought a book called House ogf Leaves. its really scary. You should read it although its 900-something pages long. My sister keeps getting mad becasue my parents keep stealing her pot and liquor and continue to evade confronting her about it. I think its becasue they support recreational drug usage. My mother's only regret form smoking pot in college was not doing it enough. my sister also got a tattoo of a purple star on her foot and the cartoon faces from Hedwig on the insides of her ankles. they represent a greek myth. now she is just going to tell pazjas that she likes the designs so much that she keeps drawing them on herself. mother is so gullible she'll believe it. father probably will realize that they are real tattoos but won't say anything about it becasue he's cool. I was trying to dye my hair "purple" (manic panic's lie locks) and my mother started complaining again. like my sister said "its not like we're getting tattoos" ah, the irony. the dye didn't work right. next time ima gonna bleach my hair to dye it. I don't understand whats so wrong with tattoos and dying hair. Parents always act like we will regret it someday. what they don't realize that the only ones regretting it is themselves. stupid parents, tattooing is a form of art.

Remember kids: this november, vote for Kerry! any other vote is a vote for Bush

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7.01.04

Ow. My blood hurts. got my wisdom teeth out. yay. I was awake the whole time...the anesthesia never completely knocked me out. And I also felt them pulling out the first one! tehehe! Oh well, I haven't tossed my cookies yet. Not that I have any cookies.

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7.13.04

Hey hey, kids. Ima bored so I am writing shit....

Well, I got my AP Euro test result back, and I got a 4. I actually thought I was going to get a 2, but I think if the paper said I got a two, I would be sad. I was really excpecting a 3, so a 4 was pretty nifty. Next year I get to take three AP classes (Chem, English, U.S. HIstory)! YAY! Damnit, I think I'll actually enjoy reading the novels we are forced to read for AP English, but just thinking about the required reading for AP U.S. History makes me want to barf. How exciting, I get to read about some city full of incompetent retards getting "devastated" by a natural disaster (Isaac's Storm by Erik Larson). For fuck's sake, its natural selection and population control, quit yer bitching. The other book is an autobiography of Frederick Douglass. Yeah, that guy was one hardcore motherfucker, but in my experience with autobiographies, they all suck. Seriously, no one wants to read 160 pages all centered on YOU (in case you haven't caught on, Frederick Douglass's book was 160 pages). Someone who will write an autobiography about himself most always thinks that he is dangerously more interesiting than he really is. You shouldn't have to ask why I chose 'dangerous' to describe this (hint: click the friggin link already). For English, we have to read The Crucible and some other random book (I chose Grapes of Wrath). What sucks about The Crucible is that it is a play. Boo...or Goo...Once we've finished reading all four books, then we have to write some crap about each one. This world is much too unsatisfactory for me.. You know, if we were all communists, we wouldn't have to read books over the summer. Thats either because not everyone can read books so we would be denied reading in order for everyone to be equal or because the people who can't read would be burned (damn you to hell!) and we would all be trusted to read on our own- not that I think we should be communists. I'm sure I'm one of the very few who would read books just for the fun of it. I hate summer because it just reminds me that it is not eternal and I will eventually have to go back to prison- I mean school. Ramble, ramble...I don't care...at least I have thumbs.

Luckily, my mother will be leaving us for a while. I'm suprised she even can leave us. It seems as though her butt has grown into the recliner judging by the amount of time she has spent sitting there in front of the tv playing solitary confinement. She must travel to New Hampshire, on a quest to get 50% of my grandmother's money (she died, in case you didn't know). My mother must go to battle because my crazy, unemployed, drunk aunt thinks she is entitled to more of my grandma's stuff just because they happened to live together (note to the kids: its NOT a good thing if you still live with your mother when you are well over 40). My aunt claims that my mother was useless because she didn't help take care of my grandma when she had brain cancer. So what if she's an overly paranoid drunk who's only regret of smoking pot in college was that she didn't do it enough, my mother has a friggin' job. And its not just any job, its TEACHING so that the adults of the future won't be living with their dying mother. I think its kind of sad that doctors and family members insist on prolonging the lives of people who are clearly in too much pain to go on living. Everyone dies anyway, right? Fuck, if I want to die, I'd want the people who love me to let me die, or help me die. Reminds me of a good quote (lthough it deals with suicide rather than weakness in sickness):

"A 'friend' is the sort of person you can safely entrust the proofreading of your suicide note to. There are depressingly few of them out there."
-Mats Andtbacka

The point of this: my mother will be out of the friggin house for nearly a week. My mother, also known as the looming cloud of anxiety over my head, will be gone! Lets have a party...in my pants. On second thought, I don't want you to be in my pants. My mother is convinced that I drink and smoke the dope so she tells my sister that I must be carefully watched. Why does she think its me? It wasn't MY bed that she found bags of pot and bottles of vodka under. She also gets mad when I say "jesus christ". Jesus Christ, its not like we're religious or anything. My mother will be happy to return to California and see that I am purely high on life...with purple hair. jajaja.

Eh...I don't fel like writing anymore... In case you actually read this, I added more quotes...THereare pictures...I will put pictures of me looking sedated/like a chipmunk and bloody teeth, there are links. Also, becasue I think I am more interesting than I really am, theres that page about me.

P.S. If a window pops up and says that 'that data the plugin required didn't download successfully" or something, it means you suck. No really, think about it. It does mean you suck.

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7.27.04

You're tired of murdering animals so now you decide to take it out on the poor defenseless groceries? classy. REAL classy.

today I got a bloody nose and so I missed soccer practice for the some-number-i-can't-remembereth time. the good thing is that mother is out of the house. the bad thing is she is coming back this friday... only a few more days of freedom. today i helped redecorate the house. I cut out this giant picture of some trackstar guy wearing a full-body spandex running suit and taped it over our stove in the kitchen. mommy will be proud of me. I feel that this is one step closer to fulfilling my dream of being an interior decorator.

I wish I had a pink parasol.

i'd say that man is very ostentatious when it comes to his wardrobe! look at his white mesh shirt. kids and there sense of fashion these days!

carrying on, I recently purchased Foundation Ska by the Skatalites. I find it very enjoyable to listen to. you should buy it if you like ska. some fucktard who reviewed it said it wasn't ska and that the Mighty Mighty Bosstones invented ska. fucktard. the reason the cd is called 'Foundation Ska' is becasue its the foundation of ska.

i should be soon taking my driving test. woot

I also already got ma schedule: here it is, muthafucka:

You're all jealous because I'm informed before yaz. This is a cool schedule. It means I can finish ma summer reading crap for english during snack, silent reading and jazz band. jk, jk. ima gonna be a responsible student this year. last year I didn't exactly get a good night's sleep the night before the first day of school. i kinda didnta sleepa at all. ja, i suck. this year is gonna suck. today I finally read what sarah wrote in my yearbook. shes the only one that signed it. proof of my utter laziness: i was too lazy to bring my friggin yearbook the last days of school so a whole one person signed it (excluding myself). I am going to die next year. christ on a lower-case t. I had senioritis in 7th grade. now i think i qualify as a hairy, smelly, and fat thirty+ man who rarely shaves and always has messy hair and wears the same dirty boxers (hygeine, guys!), a wife beater, a blue knee-length robe, and white socks scrunched down who wakes up at 1 pm and sleeps in his parent's basement. yep, thats me!

i forgot what to say

in closing: god bless daytime tv commercials. sister knows whata ima talkin aboot.

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7.31.04

JAJAJA

Two words about M. (Mary) Night Shamylan's The Village::
Damn Hippies

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8.12.04

Shit. There is less than a month of summer left. Actually, I think summer ends sometime in the middle of september, but the nazis running our schools decided to deprive america's youth of the simple joy of an icy lemonade on a July afternoon, or a crisp moonlit summer night, or -insert some other horrid, exorbitantly cliche summer experience-. Maybe I'm just complaining...when I look back on all the shit I learned in high school...

because geocities sucks, sometimes, okay most of the time, you won't be able to hear the background music. I'm real sad about that, but some fellas are lucky and some ain't. here's the deal: either wait around for geocities to cooperate with the bandwidth vacuum known only as the .mp3 file or tell me where I can host a fucking mp3 file or two. If you don't want to hear my unique and flavorful music taste, then screw you, don't help me, ho.

So I gots ma driving (BEHIND-THE-WHEEL!) test on the 23rd of august. hopefully i won't run over too many children and/or small animals and I kanna gets ma driver's license. I think driving is pretty easy. thats why there are so many goddamn fucktards on the road... For some reason, when you're behind the wheel, it seems like you're going a helluva lot slower than you really are. You can ask ma sister about that. she got a speeding ticket for going 110 mph on a normal street (meaning not the freeway, bitch)! I also found that when you are in the passenger's seat and your driver is going on 60 mph in residential areas and hugging the turns like ma mother hugs her bottle of "coohs," you feel pretty hopeless and quite certain that this is the last day you will have the chance to fry your retinas by staring into the sun. If you are still following me, I applaud you. its 5:38 in the AM and I haven't gone to bed yet (yeah so I lied, its really the 13th of august..the first part of this entry was yesterday though...) When you are in the driver's seat, however, you feel a great deal more in control of what the hell you are doing. maybe its becase the steering wheel is in your hands and you have the choice of whether you want to mow down old ladies in you old lady mobile or take a chance at cruisin' down the blvd with da boyz in your lowrider truck wit 20" rims bumpin kanye west's "Jesus Walks." okay I donta know how i gotta off on this tangent. what I really wanted to tell youz guyz about was the deadguy I saw on the side of the street while I was drivin with ma pops. The worst part about it is I can't seem to tell anyone about it without bursting into uproarious laughter. I've had this sort of problem ever since I can rememeber. Even when someone in my own fucking family dies I start laughing. I don't know if its some type or body defense mechanism to fight off pain and sorrow or Ithat I'm just some friggin' sadist. I just saw this guy at a glance, I was driving, see, but the expression on his face stuck in my mind. I can still see it now. this was sunday and I can still see him, the rigor mortis cadaver lying next to a bench on the side of the road. this stupid girl who must have been in her mid-twenties was standing in frobnt of him with her hands over her mouth, shocked at such a grotesque sight. She was the real loser. I mean, anyone that old who is STILL not comfortable with death whould burn in hell. She probably likes stupid romance movies and abercrombie and fitch...back to the dead guy. i think what struck me most about him was that he seemed so out of place. He reminded me more of a dead rabbit or deer in the forest. He, the homeless man, died in his natural habitat: the streets of LA county. I still laugh everytime I think of him, but he continues to haunt my mind. I think I would actually feel more comfortable if I encountered him in the forset along with his dead rabbit and deer companions. It seemed wrong to have some dead guy in the middle of cementalisque Los Angeles. God, I can't get over this. When I got home I even google image searched "dead homeless" just so I could maybe see his face again. no picture would suffice so I drew a picture in ms paint. Ima gonna shutup now.. you probably think I'm in love with a corpse and I want to marry it. He wasn't exactly my type, just so you know.

In related news, my mother is a blood blubbering vagina. I hate her and I hope she dies.. Its gonna happen anyway (her dying) everyone is dying anyway, aren't they? on tuesday she forced me out of the house to see a movie with sazja, fazjah, and jessica s (aka peanut) yeah, your thinking, "loser, why didn't you want to go to the movies?" normally I would go but the truth is I didnt really feel like going...I'd rather sleep or stare at the walls in darkness. So, basically, if I didn't leave to see a movie, she would continuously yell at me the whole time my sister and father were gone. I think its sad if my mother is forcing me into social activities. she claimed that I would just be on my computer all night. my computer was off that day. she is a bitch and she doesn't understand that sometimes I just want to be left alone. She is way to paranoid about everything and she is the biggest fucking hipocrite I've ever met. so of course when I was gone, she raided my room and threw out a bunch of my crap (no, you jackass, i don't shit in my room) including the bleach kit and hairdye I bought. well, at least I thought she threw it out. Yesterday sister and I rummaged through all the trash cans in the house to hind them but our search was futile. Finally we found them in one of the drawers under parent's bed. yeah, they have drawers in their bed...its weird. I'm just thanking god that she didn't hide them in the condom drawer. thats nasty, theres like 40 empty condom wrappers. I think that once you've gone through menopause you shouldn't be allowed to have sex. my mother still keeps tampons under the sink just to preserve her false hope that maybe, someday, she will menstruate again. stupid bitch. supposedly if i dye my hair, "she" is going to take my computer away (this is becasue she is an incompetent whore and she just nags my father until he is sick of putting up with her). when is she going to realize that I don't care about these material things. Yes, I am utilizing my computer right now, but if I really want to throw all my thoughts out I can also write in a journal or even talk to myself. If you think I'm just angry and that my mother is a nice person, you go to hell. you go to hell and you die. first of all, if you are one of her students you need to know that I love my mother as a teacher, but behind closed doors in the dillard household, she is an insane drunken bitch. our family has an extremely bad communication problem. my father never says anything because my mother wears the damn pants in their relationship and she is stubborn as hell. he also doesn't really give a shit and thats why I like him better. whenever sister or I confront her about her alcoholic tendencies, she blows it off as if we were insulting her. she never confronts us about anyhting. for instance she stole my sister's pot and liquor from out from under her bed and never said anyhting about it. one time they came to me when a bottle of rum was missing from the cabinet. for some reason my mother thinks I am a drug whore or something. Maybe she just cleans my room in hopes of finding some pot, crack, acid, shrooms, vodka, or even fucking wine so that she can be pleased with herself. then she'll just take it and throw it away (I'm not sure if she does that becuase I've never seen anything she has taken form lauren in the trash can. she probably does it herself) and never talk to me about it and the negative effects of recreational drug use.

Don't go anywhere kids, I still have plenty of ranting and raving---wait, step back and strike that...just ranting---to do.

Onto my fleabag of a dog. So after the movie my mother made me go see--we saw Dodgeball at the cheap theaters--sazja, jessica and I were in sazjas room when I decided to show jessica what a horny gay dog I had. I took one of sazja's many stuffed animals, this one being some pink unicorn sazjah won out of a claw machine (those things are so unbelievably tits its not even funny). I used the unicorn to scratch Max (my dog) 's lower back. Anyone could see by the way I was maneuvering the unicorn, it appeared as thought the unicorn was pounding Max in the ass. it wasn't too suprising that Max liked it, seeing how most dogs like to have their backs scratched. the real shocker was what happened afterward. I kept hitting Max in the face with the unicorn until I got bored and set it on the ground. Apparently Max was not through with his fun with the unicorn. He proceeded to hump the friggin stuffed animal. max can be such a dumbass, I really thought he was over that sort of thing..I mean he's like 80 soemthing in dog years, and there is nothing more disgusting than horny old men. I first had conjectures that Max was gay when I caught him wearing a pink feather boa and sniffing Aaron's crotch ( if you go to Redondo Union High school, simply go to room 122 -in the science hall- and view the picture of Mrs. Dillard's bulletin board). This just sealed the deal. I mean, the damn dog's got to be gay. who else would hump a pink unicorn? I'd post the pictures, but I don't want to for I don't want to completely tear his dignity to shreds. eh, what the hell an I talking about? he's a fucking dog:

wooh! i Had fun doing that one in the wee hours of the morning.

I call it: My Dog the Ostentatious Necrophilliac. Okay, so he wasn't humping a dead unicorn, but it wasn't alive either. Don't hate. My dog is not a faggot, he just lives an alternate lifestyle. Faggot really is a harsh word, especially if you know the origins of this word of hate. As you may or may not know, another word for a bundle of sticks is a faggot. back in the days of yore, instead of verbally abusing the dregs of society, ignorant people burned them. These included crazy old women, suspected devil children, and the ever popular homesexual. Of course back then, they were called sodomites. Another little known fact about the days of yore is that they didn't have television. Where did these people get their entertainment, you ask? they watched people burn and get decapitated by the axe. much like drunk college students revving up for the big game, these peasanties marched through their village yelling and screaming. When they found a sodomite, they would yell "FAGGOT! FAGGOT!" so that everyone knew that there was going to be a burning. YAY! thus, the "faggot" moniker for all gays was coined. Today its obviouse that people are lazy and thats why we often cut off the last three letters and just scream "fag" at any skinny guy who walks or talks in an effeminate manner and/or wears makeup. My dog doesn't wear makeup...yet.

okay..just a few more sentences and I'll let you go. I was planning on raiding the fetus store and stealing all the fetusi (fetusi are way better than fetuses) to put on my site, but now the link I got in my email is dead and I'm too lazy to google it. I added some more photos and the archives are all updated..ha, updated archives..thats an oxymoron...ha. I added a BLOOD photo section. basically it will show anything grss I happened to take a picture. Right now it features my wisdom teeth removal days. the picture are really big. i think the grossest ones are of my face. I have gross acne everywhere and it looks like I have herpes. oh well. usually my freckles hide it so well. I also added a section of all the random crap I draw on my computer with ms paint and photoshop. Maybe if I ever scan stupid crap I draw in the school agendas and on my homework you can see that too. if you think that my drawings suck becasue they are in ms paint, you should die. mabye I'm not as 1337 as you think, motherfucker. If for some reason you haven't detected my disgusting and overall apalling sense of humor, you should die you retard. I like my drawings. Even the one of that screaming cat on fire.

Adieu Adieu to yieu and yieu and yieu!!1

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8.18.04

Z?

hmmm. i added a few quotes to the quote page and I'd thought I'd say something here....my hair is purple.. can't wait until I can immortalize it in my student id picture...and YEARBOOK PICTURE!!!! jajaja! My sister helped me bleach and dye it monday night and my parents still don't know.. that shows you guys how much I try to avoid them... to sum up my summer, I've basically been draining my paren'ts bank account with my numerous online purchases. mostly music of bands you've probably never heard of..and that makes me cooler than you.

Czech this out ... I KNOW you'll heart it to pieces

my hair ...i'll post a few later of me trying to be sexy...i just need to wait until after our scrimmage (Soccer) so that my mother doesn't see it. I just think it will be funny if she has no idea and then three days later she sees and I can say "where ther hell have you been? its been like this since monday!"

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9.01.04   ...and the leaves that are green turn to brown

I stole cute little fetus, fetus in a tie, uncle sam, pilgrim, faerie/fairy/fairee, pirate, santa, birfday, scottish, kitten, dragon, goth, poison, monkey, angel, fried shrimp, death, emo, halloween, giraffe, viking, ninja, bunny, mummy, batman, superman, clown, pokyman, moo, and mouse fetusi from FetusMart. Hooray fetusi!

these ones are in jail because they're stupid.

okay, kids. so school is starting in less than a week. Is there really anything I can say about this? Supposedly, there's been rumours that school will actually be delaed another week because construction isn't done. In reality, construction is never done at our school. this upcoming year will mark Redondo's 100th year of outstanding athletic performance, moral growth, and academic excellence. as you can see, our beloved community high school isfalling apart as most things do when they get to be about a 100 years old: statues, city monuments, people..okay whatever. This time, however, much of our classrooms are nearly impossible to get to. I guess there are ways to get to class, but you would have to leave campus and trek around the perimeter of the highschool, climb up hills, jump barbed wire fences, and dig tunnels through concrete with a spoon. Shit, that seems almost too easy. Looks like school will be starting on time this year...again.Many of my peers have addressed the ifact that if we start a week late, we will end a week late. do you really think I give a shit? anything to prolong my summer will be a gift from god. whoops. I forgot to capitalize that. Okay, well ima gonna got to bed now. speaking of beds, I took mine apart today. I was trying to sleep two days ago when I realized how utterly annoying the sounds my bed made were. today, while my mother was waiting to see whether she would have to serve jury duty or not (unfortunately, she got off...damnit), I proceeded to disassemble my bed frame. First I removed the mattress frame. I wasn't sure where to put it, so I put it on my sister's bed.Now she has two frames and a mattress. The next part was a bit tircky. If my mother saw me doing this, she would first yell at me and then say, "this is an IQ test and your failing it". I managed to get the whole thing outta my room, which was good, but I had no idea where to hide it, which was bad. My first intentions were to put it in my sisters room. Unfortunately, the angle at which my sisters door sits and the location of certain bookcase and a certain dresser, it was absolutely impossible to get into my sisters rooms. This is where I learned to use tools. I remember back when I was 4 or 5 or 6 or 7 or 8 or 9 or 10, when my father was repairing bathroom medicine cabinets and such in the garage, I would nail pieces of wood together for the fuck of it. So don't think I have no experiance with tools. First I grabbed a screwdriver because it was closest to me in the garage and my garage is scary. After less than five minutes, I realized that the screwdriver served no use to me whatsoever. I studied the bed frame and saw that the only tool fit for the job was a simple wrench, which happened to buried deep with in the depths of my garage. yay. for some reason I think that if my dog is around, he'll protect me from all of my worst fears. so first I had to get him to go in the garage with me. Becasue hes a stupid little shit, he felt the need to hide under a table. after biting me several times, he finally ran out from under the table, only to run under another in the next room. I literally had to fight him to get his collar and leash on. I don't understand it. He never listens to you when he is leash-free, but once you put it on, he's your own personal bitch like in prison. Of course I shouldn't be complaing. I;m afraid to go in the garage. So I got the wrench and continued to take the bed frame apart. the last three sets of nuts and bolts were easyt to remove, but the first one was bitch, not like in prison. I somehow managed to bend the bolt so I couldn't get it apart. finally, my bed frame was completely dissassembled. The grundgy peices are now all hanging out together with several ugly dresses, dust-laden stuffed animals reminiscent of a false, sugar-coated childhood, and a crippled 'American Girl' decked out in a very becoming ski lodge outgit in my sister's closet. MY room now has a mattress sitting where my bed once was. I see three major benefits: no stupid creaky spring noise, more room on my wall for posters, and a very pissed off mother. It wasn't until I got to soccer practice when I had doubts on my "good idea" and katie proclaimed that a mattress in the middle of the floor was "so scenester." I talk the ex-corps talk, but I don't walk the ex-xorps walk. I don't use "hella" in all of my sentences. I didn't dye my hair black. I don't have plugs. I don't have my lip peirced. I don't wear vinyl trench coats. I don't have Davey Havok bangs.In other words, I'm not a damn scenester and I have no intention of becoming a damn scenester. My intentions were solely to make my bed shut the fuck up, piss my mother off...again..., and to have more room for posters. Eh, I need to stop caring about things like this anyway. I do what I want, ho.

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12.01.04 SPNGE BOB IS A TOOL

So, haven't updated in THREE months.; not that anyone cares. so here i a damn update. I've dropped all my AP classes and plan on taking the high school proficiency test so i can get the hell out of this crappy school. yay! I also have to go to threrapy. and my sister is staying home this year. my parents' current obsession is trying to kick my sister and i out of the house. they've taken mycomputer away, they've taken my music away, and they've taken my diet coke away. Apparently this is supposed to get me to go to school. I think in total I have missed about a month. I used to be a good student! what happened? oh well. my parents have no logic whatsoever. today i slept all day, wrote "i hate you" on my mother's bathroom mirror with a big black marker and pushed my dog around town in a shopping cart with my sister. i think i'll write more l8rrr. ima gonna go to bed now! yay!

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12.18.04   At this point I would just like to say that what this commitee is doing in theory is highy commendable; however, in practice it sucks.

So Ecks-Mus break begins. Because I went to school all last week, I get my computer back. I can't believe I went almost a month without it. At times I got withdrawal. I guess I'll start by ranting about how shitty my parents' idea of parenting is. I sort of feel like an ingrate complaining about them. At least I'm not a leper in Botswana; yet, according to my sis', I am. I have to go shit. jaja. i just heard my mother downstairs. Supposedly a pup-up add appeared on the computer -probably somehting about weight loss- and my mother thought my sis' 'n' me purposely put it on their. She said, -and I quote- "..I wouldn't put it past them. Mom lost forty pounds, that's real funny." jajajaja. I hate her dieting ideas. she says shes not on a friggin diet. Well, last time i checked, as long as you consume things, you have a diet. Even those who have pills for breakfast have diets. In case youz guys haven't noticed, I'm probably not in most of your classes. ma new schedule:

Blah, i just ate some vegan pizza. Father asked me how it tasted, to which I replied, "tofu." For some reason, whenever I cook with tofu, the whole thing ends up tasting like tofu. Now my parents want me to help put friggin' ornaments on the damn tree. I'd much rather put the Halloween decorations back up.In fact, right, now, my Halloween playlist is playin' up a storm like the dickens and other such decadent exclamations. Mother is drunk right now. I told my therapist that, sometimes, in the night, when I'ma in that strange void between sleep and consciousness I am awoken by the sound of my mother's voice, yelling in that same sort of distortion of my name, only to find that I am alone. Fuck. thats creepy.

Back to da schedule: apparently I'ma gonna go back into AP english next semester. my only problem is that I have begun to obtain an affinity with my cp english class. Decisions, decisions. I mean, I think it would be good for me to take ap english. just a few hours ago I was a lookin' at last year's yearbook and thought, "hmm, i can't relate to this thing at all." I felt that way specifically when I came across the dedication section. People I've known and people like those I know adorned the pages of AP class dedications. Other pages contain snapshots in the lives of former graduates like the future ones in my CP classes. To make things worse, VH1 is currently running a special titled "My Better Years," in which the people we are told to idolize reminisce on their high school years. This isn't like MY high school at all. Maybe I shouldn't be too worried; yearbooks make high school look fun when in reality those pictures display a false past. moving on: ima gonna take advanced media arts next semester. I'd like to get into doing video stuff.

Back to christmas: DAMN YOU, JESUS, FOR BEING BORN! Edgar Allen Poe wrote a poem called The Bells, which, I believe, accurately describes MY christmas. read up, bitch!

uh, the photo page will be updated in the next week so that you can see a thumbnail before seeing the full-size picture! yay! of course, in order to make things a lot easier, I'll have to deviate from my usual lazy yahoo pagebuilder type and actually use html for once. that will happen whenever I get around to it. new quotes. new links when i get around to it. i might resurrect the "heroes" page. i think last time it got a little out of hand and it seemed that just about anything could be my hero-even a seagull in a pink top hat. maybe i'll put something in the poetry thing.

ciao

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12.22.04 YAY! BLOOD ORGY!YAY!

To start things off, I'd like to say that the Woodland Creatures South Park episode was absolutely awesome. It started off a little strange, a bunch of happy woodland creatures...wanting Stan to kill the mountain lion because it keeps preventing Porcupiney the Porcupine from giving birth to their saviour...making him build them a manger...but once it was revealed that Porcupiney was giving birth to the anti-christ, oh man, it slayed me. Blood Orgy, baby mountain lion cubs learning about abortions, "oh no its man-boy who killed our mother coming back to kill us" "its okay, im dead inside anyway." jajaja....Poor Bela..

dood I totally just broke my hand earlier to day listening to loud screamy-type music (but not scremo, damnit) and jumping around my room in some sort of mix between dancing and having a seizure and playing air guitar when i the side of my habe (ya know beneath your pinky) on my bookcase. that was two hours afo and it still hurts, yet I can still type.

Okay, so I on amazon today looking for suitable ecks mus music that I could pirate later w/ kazaa, and I decided that I should compile a list of the best ecks mus records...of course, I'm against any conventional ecks mus music and I wouldn't actually submit the list to amazon. In my search I stumbled across "A Rupaul Christmas." One word: TITS! Oh, come on, how coukld you not spend your ecks mus with Rupaul the red-nosed drag queen? if you still don't think this is awesome, check out what one of the reviewers said:

this album is so funny and a must-have for any ru fans. my first time doing acid was during the rupaul xmas special, where these songs were performed. every time i listen to it, i can see trails--I kid you not...

Then there are all those ecks mus various artist cds that feature a certain genre band like indie, alternative, punk, country, r'n'b, etc. The only one of those I found suitable enough was Punk Rock Christmas Vol. 1 put out by Rhino Records. Basically, if you like 77 style punk, you'd like it. And it has "Fuck Christmas" by FEAR which I can say, you can probably see from a mile away, is tits. oh yeah, Jazz is better than stupid locked-in static classical beats so I just have to give props to Jingle Bell Jazz put out by Columbia records. Becasue its a condensed CD form of the original two LP version, you lose some essential tracks. in the end this doesn't really matter because, needless to say, youz guyz probably don't even own a record player, so there is no point of buying the LP. thats why you download....you know how we do. Then I thought how awesome it would be if there was an ecks mus record done bagpipe style. Bagpipes are celtic so I queried "celtic christmas" but all I got were weird irish people people who play the tin whistle and stuff like that. Yes, I like Flogging Molly-and I'm irish-, but these guyz ima talkin aboot are celtic traditionalists who probably spit on Flogging Molly's genre-slaying music. aboot pirates. arrrrr. I guess if I ever want to hear christmas songs played on the bagpipes, I'll have to do it myself. And I'll have to learn bagpipes...It think that the record should also feature the accordion, another totally coolinstrument, courtesy of Cyrillus Damian of Vienna. It would be so tits. Ther'd be bagpipe and accordian armies blowing the fuck out of your precious ecks mus jingles. and then there could be a massive bass overload. kinda like that one song by bleeding through, or the beginning of "nails" or "driven to destruction" or "midnight sun" where you just detune the strings until they growl and then you could play some wicked bass line that goes all like dun-nuh-nuh-nuh-duh-nuh-nuh-nuh..etc so that you can stand in tha bass stance nodding your head and snarling like some badd muthafucka. and then there'll be totally sweet guitar riffs and solos in like "master of puppets" or "diary of a madman" and there'll be lasers and fire and you can play the guitar with your teeth of behind you head while spinning and flipping out and screaming like your crazy or something. these guitars would have to be played by manly men with pretty, long hair wearing suits and gothic trent coat overcoats and it would be hott. of course, no song is truly hardcore without cowbells. so we'll have a barrage of cowbells wreaking havoc and cowbell carnage. and then there'll be and a kit to rival mister neil peart's execept with like, three bass drums and mayve some timpani and it'll be all like:

shuggaduggaduggaduggabambumbumbum-taka-taka!

...and maybe some bongos.

yeah, and most of the melodies would be covered by the accordian and bagpipe, but if we MUST have singing, it will only be crazy high pitch type like Robby Plant and Axl-ey Rose or low, mistakin-it-for-the-bass-line vocals like Andy Eldritch or death cult armageddon screams like Shagrath. Then, although we already have a grainy, feel-it-in-your-stomach, hair-rasing, pant-leg-shakin', stage-rockin', ear-drum-blastin' bass rumbling like your mother, we'll add a lime green tiger print stand up for good measure. and all the lyrics will be in latin, because thats the language of the king of flies and its really creepy too. and then everyone will be wearing spikes and leather or thorny vines or vinyl and electrical tape, depending on how you stand on animal rights. the only song we wouldn't rock out on would be carol of the bells which would be sung "a capella" by a 1000-person choir (two-hundred people on each part-soprano, alto, tenor, baritone, and bass) in latin. lets not forget the maniacal satan laughter.

best band ever.. in the graphics class ima takin next semester there is a project called "garage band." mabye I'll do this band for that project. tits. I hope I didn't miss anything. FEUER FREI...mit eigen Fleisch und Blut sich-----paaren!

Okay, that took long enough to write. earlier today, mother asked me if I wanted to go eat food with her and father. they were going to mexican food place and she says, "you can have a quesadilla without cheese!" wtf is that? two tortillas on top of each other? mmm, tasty.

hope this was an interesting entry for you. the picture pages are updated... i added a hero page. woah, i almost typed herpes...BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Don't despair
Just because its Christmas
Children they're
all so gay at Christmas
All the children in the street
hope they get something good to eat
But for me, its not so great...

FUCK CHRISTMAS!
FUCK CHRISTMAS!
FUCK CHRISTMAS!
FUCK CHRISTMAS!
FUCK CHRISTMAS!
FUCK CHRISTMAS!
FUCK CHRISTMAS!
FUCK CHRISTMAS!

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