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11.03.01
My friend John is running for public office. I am not a bit interested in the bigger picture of politics in Gaithersburg (a city I don't live in) or Maryland (a state I don't live in), but I am fascinated with the way the campaign has taken over his life. I asked for details, and he has provided them via stressed yet hilarious emails:
I really think I'm making progress with my biggest block of opposition. I'm
so glad you haven't told them that I'm completely insane.
I always claim I'm not political, but what I really mean is that I don't read the newspaper or watch the news on a regular basis. I have only a vague idea at any given time as to what's going on. I have plenty of opinions as to how things should be run.
No forced wearing of burqas, for instance. Free speech. Less traffic, less pollution, less crime. Warm hot cozy meals of macaroni and cheese or tomato-basil soup for cold, homeless, unhappy people. Small federal government, but big local government. More money locally for schools, literacy, shelters. Bookmobiles, ice cream trucks, holidays for flying kites and building snowmen.
I'd vote for John if I lived in his district, although I have little idea what he thinks about anything, politically. He loves his family and friends, is passionate about his involvement in the community, and cracks the English language around like a whip. The foundation of our friendship is a shared love of recreational email and word-related mischief, and politics rarely come into play:
I'm sorry. I can't be funny today. I'm feeling very straightforward,
normal, and busy.
He's been banned from my guestbook for impersonating our mutual acquaintances willy-nilly, although all the entries end up sounding just like John.
You took all the guest book entries off except fake Jeff! Hey, I really wasn't the Real Jeff. I think the real Jeff was the Real Jeff although I don't know for sure.
I hope, I hope, I hope John gets elected. My motives are purely selfish. I just can't wait for the first amusing email or guestbook entry from Councilman Schlichting. Hold onto your hats, Gaithersburg. You're in for a fun ride.
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