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5.04.05
I pulled up to my sister's house today just in time to see Claire fall out of the hammock. It was only a couple feet off the ground and she landed not-on-her-head, and bounced back quickly, just fine. But Christy, my sister, who was babysitting her, rolled her eyes and yelled "First boo-boo all day! And you drive up just as it happens!" What is this phenomenon called?
I have been experiencing another version of it for months . . . the phenomenon where something that is broken isn't broken when the person who comes to fix it arrives to fix it.
We moved into our home (a cottage built in 1939) last November, and have been working on it ever since. I love it, love it, love it, but it was not lovingly maintained, and as you know there is entropy and the second law of thermodynamics and whatnot, and things fall to pieces. So, since November, new roof, new windows, new kitchen, new fenced-in front yard, and ten trabazillion (a number I just invented) visits from various handymen and skilled professionals of all types. Just this week, I've waited for a plumber and a phone guy. Next week I'll wait for a plumber, a phone guy, and a roofing guy.
The window guy comes to fix the leaky NEW window. He blasts it with water from the hose, from every angle, for several minutes. I watch, and he tries hard, but it will not leak. He leaves, it rains, it leaks.
The pipes hum in the middle of the night and wake us up. The sound is coming from the bathroom. It gets louder near the toilet, but we don't think it's the toilet. The plumber, who comes during the day and does not hear the hum, keeps saying "rattle" when I say "hum." "No, they are definitely humming." I insist. "No rattles." He replaces a valve on the toilet and goes away, and at night our pipes hum again. Finally, on the third trip out, I make Bob stay home, because people take Bob seriously. "They hum," he states firmly, and the plumber and another plumber he's brought along descend into the bowels of our scary, scary basement and decide that we need a new hot water heater. We just got the quote today . . . $2500 for a new state-of-the-art tankless wonder made in Japan that hangs outside the house, is tiny, and heats water as it goes. $1000 for the heater, and $1500 for the installation. No, says Bob. No. And I agree, if somewhat wistfully, because I love sleek small technology from Japan. So next week, I will wait for a different plumber.
Don't get me started on the phone and DSL problems. Four different men have come. Four different men have gotten my house dirty with big muddy boots. Four different men have blamed the previous man for the problem. (Except for the first guy, who blamed the previous owners of the home.) But they don't really know what the problems are, because the phone is static-free while they're here, and the DSL works. Until 5 seconds after they leave. And I've spent a total, since November, of 16 hours on the phone with Earthlink in India. I have learned a lot about India while asking nosy questions while waiting for the computer to reboot between "try this-es." But still.
Finally, Bob agrees with me to get rid of DSL and go with cable. Cable has never failed us. Arrgh! Why would I type that out loud? Something will happen. And I must disassemble the guest room bed and move my entire bookcase of scrapping supplies tonight so they can come tomorrow.
But! God willing and creak don't rise, something will get fixed. Something. Just one thing. Please.
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