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2.28.02
More than one fat gram should be called a "misery of fat grams." When I am in charge of the world this whole national obsession-slash-religion of fat grams will be banned. Not that I plan to be some kind of despot, I don't think, although I may exhibit some despotic tendencies from time to time, but what is the point of being Queen of Everything if I'm not allowed to make any rules at all?
I am fully aware of the importance of good nutrition, and I am also fully aware that you can never be too thin or too rich. I am also fully aware a diet low in saturated fats leads to something something something, and if your chicken's got that certain Wessonality, you're in trouble. But mostly, I am fully aware that I am sick of hearing people talk about the number of fat grams they have consumed or not consumed in a day.
My sick-of-it-ness is not sour grapes just because I myself need to consume less fat grams and less everything. I realize I'd have more credibility on this subject if I were a tiny little thing. But I'm allowed to have an opinion on what I find boring, and I think fat grams is a BORING topic. Boring, boring, boring.
It involves a fairly random and bizarre personal statistic. I do not walk around telling people how many bowls or atoms or cubits or whatever the measurement is of oxygen I've breathed in each day, and if I'm not mistaken, oxygen intake is also important to good health. I don't tell people how many times I've gone to the restroom, or how many pounds of people I have been nice to (being nice to people is also healthy), and I don't tell people how many minutes it takes me to wash my face every night. I don't tell them the number or size of my positive and negative thoughts each day, and studies show that you are what you think.
Okay, I made that last bit up, but it makes sense that your thought life at some level affects your health.
So WHY is everybody talking about fat grams? It seems like a big competition. A big huge nationwide competition to see who can eat the least amount of food that tastes good.
It seems obscene and puritanical (small p because the real Puritans weren't puritanical) both at the same time. Obscene because discussing fat grams all the time is just as vain as discussing your makeup or hair or clothes every second of the day, but it's disguised as a mostly health issue, so has become acceptable for both men and women to discuss ad nauseum. And puritanical because I am NOT going to count my life down in a misery of fat grams just because the food police say so.
My solution could not be simpler. Count fat grams if you must, but quit talking about it. And while you're counting, just remember that the brain is entirely fat, and without that all you'll be able to do is run for public office.
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