WONDERING
And I wonder;
Somewhere I strayed
Sometimes the difficult path
How do I end this distructiveness?
Does it start with pain?
Somehow I'll find the way,
For now I'll just wonder.
I wonder everyday.
How did I get here
And how do I get back
To where I want to be?
From where I want to be.
Now I'm fighting,
Struggling to find my way.
Is not always best.
But seems I always choose it,
No matter how it hurts.
How do I make things work?
How do I make things right?
Do I hurt those who care?
Or is there another way?
The way to make things right.
I just wish I already knew.
Maybe I should follow my heart,
But that's what started it all.
Consider what to do.
My answer will come,
Hopefully sometime soon.
FINDING MY WAY
Things are coming together;
Perhaps a little pain,
I need some time
No matter what
The pieces are coming together.
Beginning to make sense.
One step back
And a little thought
Sheds new light for me.
Some questions and consideration
Brings me back
To where I need to be.
And understanding.
Need to find myself
And see where others fit in.
I know one thing for sure:
I must stay true to myself
And all else will fall into place.
Slowly but surely,
I will find my way.
HOLDING ME BACK
In my head
They don't blame me;
I try to tell myself,
I still can't make
Trying to move on
Unable to move,
Maybe someday
I know it,
But my heart
Doesn't see it.
Why should I?
But my heart
Just won't listen.
That feeling fade.
I feel I've let them down
And, maybe worse, myself.
Except my heart
Holds me back
In the same spot.
Unable to change.
My heart will accept
What my mind's trying to say.
FEARS
Will they miss me?
Afraid I'll be forgotten;
Unfounded fears, perhaps,
The past comes back
The people are different.
Only time will tell.
Will they even know I'm gone?
Afraid I'll be left behind.
Still can't get them
Out of my mind.
To haunt me;
Dredging up feelings
I had before.
The distance, farther.
Will the result still
Remain the same?
PASSION
Deep within my soul
The passion burns
Although I may
Someday I hope
Who will bring it out
Passion resides.
Others may not see it;
It exists nonetheless.
Like a white hot flame.
Grow weak and weary,
It shineth on;
An eternal flame.
It comes to the surface
To see the light of day.
To burn bright and free
Remains to be seen.
TRUTH
Sometimes it's hard
Sometimes we simply
Instead, reach down,
To see what's true.
You think you know,
But is it real?
Are you sure,
Or are you just
Deluding yourself?
Lie to ourselves
To make things easier.
In the end though,
It only makes things worse.
Search your soul.
Your heart will tell you
What you need to know.
MEMORIES
You say one thing
I just sit and think;
I miss the time we used to spend,
See a star
Make someday you'll remember
And do another.
I'm forgotten
Just the same.
Wonder why things
Had to change.
The adventures that we had.
All that's left is the memories
Of the fun we used to have.
Make a wish
I know it won't come true.
The friend that you forgot.
STRENGTH
My heart is usually
You are a monster.
I won't be there,
Then your lies
Until then
Open and warm,
But you have made it
Cold and closed.
You crossed me before
But this shall be
The last time.
When you pay,
But one day
You shall be judged.
And your deceit
Will be seen
For what they are.
I shall remain strong.
You have caused pain
And suffering,
But still my
Strength defeats you.
I will not let you win.
I BELIEVE
I believe in love,
I believe in you.
Love that can transcend;
Beyond Time,
Beyond Place,
Beyond Cultures,
Beyond Others' Hate.
I believe in me.
But most of all,
I believe in us
And that one day
We will be together
In the same
Time and Place.
EVENING'S WISH
There you are, my love,
Listen now,
I want you to be at peace
When you awake,
My sole regret
One day
Until that day,
Sleep well my love,
Lying in your bed.
I know you've not
Been away for long
But I still miss you,
Just the same.
And I'll tell you of
My evening's wish
For you.
Sleeping restfully;
Wrapped up in your blankets
(Although a poor substitute for me).
I wish for you a good night's rest
Full of dreams of happy things;
Void of those unholy terrors
That night can bring to you.
I want to see
A smile on your face.
Is that I cannot
Be there with you.
Someday
I believe that we can cross
The distance between us
And find our way
To each other's arms.
Rest at ease,
Knowing that you
Are on my mind.
And think of me,
I'll be with you
In your dreams.