Written Sept. 14 2004

Hey all, sorry I haven't written sooner.  I actually tried a couple time but had the address written wrong. You'd think after writing it all this time I'd know how to write it, but I didn’t have the energy to try resending.  So here is a compilation of several messages sent to various people describing how we are doing.

Radar and I have been having our ups and downs, with more downs than ups.  His guide work is about half of what I know it can be.  He’s so distractible!  It takes a few minutes and constant reminders from me to “pay attention,” and “no nose” and “leave it” and “no” before he kicks into working gear and even then it’s iffy.  He misses really key things he should be getting by now – like stopping at the elevator.  Although, fortunately, he always stops at the stairs.  We have a couple of seconds of excellent work and then he slows down to sniff or to watch something.  I am never quite sure if he’s slowing to watch out for me or to goof off and I’m depending on my friends to tell me what he’s doing if I don’t pick it up fast enough.  I won’t walk alone with him – I’m afraid to.  The couple times we’ve gone out alone, we’ve gotten lost due to him missing turns I’ve asked him to take.  I’ve lost my main walking partner (the one I used to do a couple of miles a day with).  His health is improving so he doesn’t feel he needs to walk anymore.  Sometimes Radar is really on = I can feel it in his body and we get up to a nice pace and I feel so relaxed and free.  Then he’ll do something like swerve out into the road or not stop and I trip over a blackberry vine or something and I get all tense and frustrated.  Then I am tensed up and won’t let him get back to walking fast.  I’m sure I’m communicating my lack of trust to him which I know isn’t right.  But if I don’t trust him, I can’t fake it.  Radar barks and growls every time he hears noises in the hall or when someone approaches when we are outside relieving.  He even does it sometimes in harness.  I’ve contacted the school.  Heidi was still on vacation so I talked with Lynn who told me to pull the chain up higher on his neck and correct that way, but it does no good.  I might as well be correcting Trigger for all the response I get.  I dread relieving times because I know I will have to apologize to someone, correct Radar, and get a headache.  The barking and growling needs to stop – my neighbors are complaining to management.  I know exactly what Heidi will say when we talk – that he’s a good dog, give it time.  But I’m not sure I have the patience to wait!  My friends will tire of walking with me and I long to move with the kind of freedom I though working a dog would give me.     Shelly

October 1st

Radar and I have been here at home for one month today.  And I think this month has gone by slower than my month at SEGD.  Radar and I are working on two 1-mile routes.  One of them I think he knows well enough that I’m almost ready to try alone.  The other nope, but that’s OK since I’ve always got a friend to walk that one with me.  Radar continues to have a lot of behavior difficulties.  Thought I’d send this to you so you know what they are.  We have three or more barking episodes every day.  This dog either wants to greet people or attack them.  I had a trainer out to assess the barking and she says it’s a defensive bark.  She felt I should stop correcting him as this was just getting him more worked up.  Instead I tell him “no noise” and command him to sit.  If he sits and shuts up, I give him a treat.  If he keeps barking I squirt him with water.  Sometimes I think it’s making a difference – he’ll plop his butt down and turn toward me like OK, I get a treat and praise now.  He might let out a couple of yips first, but it’s not snarling.  But then tonight he just wouldn’t stop – I even squirted him.  I cannot have this happening!  It pisses off my neighbors and me too!  Shade (the trainer) said it could take several months to end this behavior.  Well, I hope I have several months worth of patience!  Shade and I didn’t get around to going on a route, but she plans to watch that next week.  She has already stated that he doesn’t take me seriously enough and doesn’t seem to care what I request of him.  She was surprised to find I had a collie, as she doesn’t feel they have a high enough work ethic.  Radar continues to sniff everything – completely stopping walking to do so.  I wonder haw many time in a one-mile walk I can say “leave it!”  Shade is thinking something called a Gentle Leader might be helpful.  I wonder if we can come up with a contraption to keep him from peeing in route because that is getting old (and yes, I give him multiple opportunities to busy throughout the day, especially before going somewhere).  The pooping I can understand – sometimes it just helps to get moving, especially if he hasn’t had much work the day before.  Still, its not cool in the middle of a sidewalk like tonight.  The first five to ten minutes of a route are horrible.  It’s like he’s not even guiding.  He even wanders out into the road, looks at everything, and just is a dork.   Sometimes he wanders out much, much to close to the traffic.  We have been working on the golf course route and a highway route where we walk along the shoulder of the road.  So I do a lot of making him “find the edge” and “find the grass.”  It just didn’t make sense to say curb when there clearly wasn’t one.  It terrifies me when he veers out toward the road, especially on the highway.  Several times, my friend has pulled me back.  I don’t know where his brain is, but it’s not on his work.  I can not work with a dog who can’t guide well at least 80 percent of the time.  I end every day with a sore arm and shoulder, completely physically and emotionally exhausted.  Walking with him isn’t fun yet – it’s a chore.

Nov 8th

Hey all – thought I’d update you all on the barking situation with Radar.  I tried for a couple of weeks correcting sometimes hard enough to pull his front feet off of the ground and it was not helping.  I paid for an animal behaviorist to come out and watch us.  She felt the barking was defensive and correcting was getting him riled up, so with her help I’ve instituted the following process.  He barks, I say quietly “no noise, Radar sit.”  If he sits and is quiet he gets a treat.  If he keeps barking, I squirt him with a water gun.  The barking has gone down to one or two barks before he drops into a sit and occasionally going right into a sit without barking.  Once I just had to laugh – someone came out the door towards me and he plopped right down and then barked.  I’m cracking up and I asked him if that deserved half a treat!  It didn’t of course!  His barking goes up and down, good days and bad.  No consistency to it at all.  His guide work is improving greatly.  We had our best walk ever today – only two corrections (both for sniffing) in a mile and a tenth.  He did have to be reminded several times to pay attention but that's normal. But yesterday we sniffed every pole and sign and peed on them all. In general though I think we are progressing.   He almost never takes me over to the road, staying right on the grass where I want him and despite what I said above, isn't peeing on route as much. We are having more good routes than bad, these days.  But our bad routes are gosh really bad! Like ten corrections and three rounds of obedience in one mile.  Just when I think I want to give up, we have a super route.  Or, if we don’t work for some reason, and have a barkless day and some good bonding time, I think there is no way I could ever let him go.  I’m praying that Nick from GDB can come work with me.  I talked with him at convention and he is willing.  It is Southeastern that may be the problem.  My trainer’s supervisor just seemed quite reluctant.  I've got a video tape made for the school, but have to copy it.  Heidi will watch it and hopefully give me some feedback.  I know some of the problem is my dog being a poop, and some of it is me.  I get very frustrated and I just sort of lose it. Then I yell or correct harder than necessary and he just kind of quits working.  And I don't blame him!  I wouldn’t want to work for someone who is so displeased. The same goes if I lose my confidence in where we are and or what he is doing.  He just sort of shuts down - not out of disobedience, just from uncertainty. He needs so much reassurance.  It’s just so hard sometimes - I have to be either correcting or praising all the time.  I love this boy!  He’s my cuddle-bug with the silly play growls and the gentle mouth.  He’s my calm lazy boy with bursts of energy at unexpected time with the wagging tail that curves up over his body who love to run and bark.  And I can’t imagine not having him her.  Perhaps it won’t come to that.  Perhaps, if we are both will to work, we can make this work out.

End of December

I’m  just writing to brag about my boy!  Quite a change huh? Well it’s been raining/sleeting/hailing all day and the ground is frozen and feels totally abnormal.  I took Radar out for his final relieve of the night around 11:30 and discovered it was raining.  At one end of the relieving area, which parallels the parking lot there is a grove of trees.  I normally don't let Radar go in there because if I get turned the wrong way I end up in the neighboring apartment complex parking lot. But tonight I figured we'd get out of the rain so I let Radar go in there and he was having a ball twisting around the trees and sniffing.  Then I decided I'd frozen enough and left the trees, but as you've probably guessed, we came out in the other parking lot. I tried to retrace my steps but I couldn't, so I went back in to the parking lot thinking I could just try to head straight through to the main road (from which I know the way home). But I kept hitting cars and slipping and then I tripped on a curb.  So I'm like really getting freaked out.  I don't carry my cane on relieves nor did I have my new cell phone with me.  I knew no one would be coming out any time soon.  I started crying.  Then not knowing what else to do, I shortened up on Radar's leash and said "Forward, let's go home."  He took off very deliberately.  I felt him guide me around cars, then he stopped at a curb.  I thought it might be an island or something, so I turned to go around it but Radar sat down and didn't move.  I said "OK You show me," which means nothing to him.   I mean its not a particular command or anything, but he got up on the curb so I followed. He moved straight down it and stopped at a tree. Hey this tree looks familiar. As soon as I touched it, he moved on and stopped at a curb.  I then realized where we were - he had taken me to the sidewalk about a half a block from home that leads to the shopping center.  I got down and hugged him! Then I turned around so we were heading home and he guided me all the way there both left turns and a right down the sidewalk stopping at the curb and right to my door!  Doesn't my dog rule?!! I'm not really sure if he went to the sidewalk because he knew I'd know it, or because it was the first thing he saw that he knew, but I still think its cool.  We arrived home after about 40 minutes outside both sopping wet so we played the drying off game (or at least he thinks its a game) and I gave him one of his big dog treats and now he are going cuddle which we do most nights.

January 28

Hey all, thought I'd write an update. This month Radar's and my work has been very sporadic. I was sick at the beginning and at the end of the month, for a week both times.  The first time was some sort of weird muscle stuff and I couldn’t get down the stairs or move fast, so my parents took Radar for a couple of days.  Then last week, I got sick with what I found out yesterday is an ear and upper respiratory infection, plus the flu.  Yay!  So, I haven’t felt much like working.  We did do our typical tutoring several times this month and reading at the other elementary school.  We’ve done the golf course a few times and of course the shopping center route.  We also worked a bit on the streets near home.  He did well there for the most part, although he had two accidents in the hall at school.  I believe this was due to the lack of working as it had been raining that week. He doesn't even really want to relieve in the rain, and won't get up the brisk pace we need to get him ready to poop. We've also (due to the weather) begun working in the mall. I'm not a big fan of the mall, but I've been going with a friend so its more fun. The first couple of trips (we've done four altogether) were a challenge with him wanting to sniff and stuff, but as he's gotten used to it, its gotten better.  I also met a great lady who trains service dogs. Work continues to be very up and down.  He'll be doing great and then he'll go to sniff or stop following.  I often have him follow the bus drivers (as they are usually in a hurry to get me on the bus) and he'll just stop and want to look around.  Or he'll do things like run into obstacles or try to pull me off the sidewalk to sniff trees or grass, etc.  Heidi watched my video and thought his work was good.  She said he looks happy for the most part.  There were a few times where he seemed a bit upset/unsure, but overall he looked good.  And she said I looked good as well.  In fact she complimented me quite highly (grin) on my handling skills.  I guess I feel  good about his work overall this month with my illnesses.  Sporadic work and regular work seems to be important to how well he does.  I just need to see more good work than bad work!  I know he’s just a dog and is going to have his moments (or days).  I don't expect perfection - I just want good willing consistent work. Is that too much to ask? But I can't think about retiring him.  I am so attached, even when I can’t stand the way he’s worked.  I love playing with, cuddling with, and just having him around.  In my head, I know I didn’t get a dog just to love, but my heart it feels like its breaking when I think about retiring him.  I keep hoping that if I just give it time, it'll click. He's young yet - he was born in July of 02 and its only been 5 months and yet... and around and around in a circle I go. I wish someone could tell me the future so I wouldn’t have to wait this out.

February late in the month

This has been a good month.  We had good weather and were able to get out of doors a lot. The down side was that Radar became ill in the middle of the month with an eye infection and was on antibiotics, which caused trouble relieving, but his work was good.  We are coming together.  I'm learning when he's too distracted and when he's just checking out his surroundings a bit.  I’m continuing to improve with how I deal with him.  I'm feeling really optimistic.