How on earth can i POSSIBLY be submissive with these kids running around ???
Take heart
it IS possible .. although not always easy
Being submissive is something that one is, not something that one does, and as such it is possible to be submissive while there are children present. Now take into consideration the whole sexual aspect of the whole thing ... would any respectful vanilla family do anything in front of their children that would be inappropriate ? Nah ... they keep it all behind closed doors which is where all things sexual should be kept when there are children present.
So how do you combine BDSM and kids ??
Sometimes the task seems impossible, but there are certain things that can be done with the cooperation of the Master and the submissive's co-operation to constantly have a reminder of the chosen Lifestyle.
Ok ok ... first let me get to that question ..isn't BDSM all about sex and sexual control ? NO WAY !!! There is so much more to it than that and if there is someone who only sees that then there is so much that they are missing .. submission is a giving of ones self to another just as couples in old times used to do in marriage .. Remember that vow to "love, honor, cherish and OBEY ?" Well, that same thing goes for us, but to a little higher degree ...And in the natural course of things come children ... Does that mean that we have to stop being submissive, or that all the play has to stop for fear of the children finding out ?
NOPE !
How to show your submission when there are kids around ...
First and foremost ...Treat Him as a King !!!
He deserves it doesn't He ?
Get Him everything that He wants ...Do things for Him that He wouldn't do for Himself ..When was the last time that He had a manicure ? When was the last time that you made Him something special for dessert ? Do things like sit at His feet when you can ... will the kids ask why you aren't sitting on the couch ? possibly .. but just tell them something like "i really like it here"
He can do things there like stroke your hair... He can unobtrusively grab you by the neck and whisper in your ear sweet nothings that will really get you going *grins*
Ask Him for everything that you want ..if you are thirsty, ask Him if you may go and get a drink, the same goes for food .... Fix His plate first when serving a meal ... make sure that He has everything that He needs and then serve yourself. When you want to leave the room, casually ask Him His permission to leave ...Tell the kids that it's cause He wants to know where you are all the time .. He misses you when you are gone *grins*
There are many opportunities for a Dominant to show His posession of the submissive without the kids knowing ...He can do that stand right behind her while she is doing things and say something as simple as "you are Mine and don't forget it" and the submissive is instantly reminded of what place she holds.
He can give her a playful swat on the butt (which the kids seem to love) when she starts acting the "brat" and of course, do i really need to say that "The Look" can also be used on an out of line submissive ? It's just as effective on us as it is on the kids , sometimes even more so becasue we realize that we have upset Him and that really hurts us ...
Ok now on to what people really want to know ... what do we do so that we won't be heard when we are "playing" ??
That one has as many answers as there are people ...first off ... if you have really thin walls, noisy toys almost have to go out the window *sighs*
save them for while the kids are off at Grandma's for the night ... If your Master is into bondage, keep a bathrobe handy so that you can slip it on at a moment's notice for that child that wakes up with a nightmare ... Gags work well too for those that are just plain old noisy anyhow *blushes as i'm one of those* But you don't have to go through all the expense of a ball gag .. on your stomach, a pillow works well, or how about a finger of His to suck on ? It works !! honest ! Try the best that you can to soundproof your room ...it doesn't have to be expensive .. remember that the more stuff that oyu have on your walls, the less will be heard through them ....try putting those really pretty decorative fuzzy blankets on the wall instead of curling up with them ... They look really good on the wall, and stop a lot of the noise from going through. Make sure that there aren't any gaps between your door and the door jamb ... put another blanket under your door and make sure that you can't see any light coming through the rest of the door ...sound can get through wherever light can !
An remember ... there are quiet "toys" make your Master a flogger from rope .. or have Him make one for you if He is the talented one .. they pack quite a sting and make hardly any noise at all ... use your imagination ...
Life does not have to end just because there are children around ...
Remember this .. Children are a lot more forgiving than we give them credit for being ...
©mlords_lady 2000