Incubus Review

Incubus

I found the recently restored 1965 occult classic Incubus disappointingly good. Considering that this was one of William Shatner's earliest films and the only movie ever shot entirely in the "artificial" language Esperanto (English, apparently, was around before humans), I expected a big brick of cheese. Instead, I was treated to a compelling, albeit chewy, eggplant parmesan. Yes, there is cheese in eggplant parmesan, but there's a lot more. Well, mostly eggplant, but I digress.

The opening scene introduces us to a seaside village called Nomen Tuum. A hot young succubus named Kia (Allyson Ames) has lured a drunk and lusty oaf to the Deer Well, a supposed fountain of youth. He drinks from the well, falls and bumps his head, then follows Kia to the seashore at Pfeiffer Big Sur State Park. I mean Nomen Tuum. She advises him to wash the blood off his face in the sea, then stands on his head and drowns him when he does. Damn.

In the tradition of Ingmar Bergman's The Seventh Seal and Jane Campion's The Piano, Kia's succubi sisters arrive on the scene wearing long black garments, way overdressed for a day at the beach. Kia tells her sister Amael (Eloise Hardt) that she is bored with leading already corrupt men to their death and sending their souls to the devil (it's basically a satanic pyramid scheme). She seeks the challenge of corrupting a man noble in spirit and pure of heart. She lurks around the local monastery for a while, assuming a monk will provide this challenge, but it turns out the monks are just weird. One buries a bunch of cloth in a hole and another turns a crucifix to face the wall when no one is looking. What is this, the Monastery of Silly Monks?

Marc sings 'Mr. Tambourine Man' and Arndis thinks about drowning herself in the well

Cut to Marc (William Shatner) and Arndis (Ann Atmar) drinking from the Deer Well. Marc is wounded from a war in which he selflessly risked his own life to rescue his fellow soldiers. Marc and Arndis gaze lovingly at each other and exchange words of tenderness, which becomes less endearing after we learn they are brother and sister. Kia spies on them from afar and follows them to their humble home in the woods. Kia feigns starvation in order to get Marc's attention and flirts with him while Arndis runs inside for food. A solar eclipse occurs and Marc explains that the moon is simply passing between the earth and the sun. Apparently Marc is the only one who knows anything about solar eclipses because the church bell tolls for Vespers and Arndis looks straight into the sun. She goes blind, of course, but Marc has already run off into the woods with Kia so her cries for help go unanswered.

Kia invites Marc to lie naked on the beach with her but he doesn't take the bait. He says something holier-than-thou like "loving with our bodies doesn't mean much unless we also love with our souls." What a bunch of hooey. I mean, don't be so picky, Marc. She's hot. You'll be fine as long as you don't stick your head in the ocean (you shouldn't do that anyway, but especially around succubi). Marc and Kia do kiss, but the moment is ruined when they fall seemingly on top of the cameraman. I'm not joking. It's one of the worst examples of camera work I've ever seen in a movie. And I've seen Hobgoblins.

Anyway, it's clear that Kia underestimated the challenge of corrupting Marc's soul. Worse yet, she's actually falling in love with him. Not a good career move for the spawn of Satan. She falls asleep in Marc's arms and he carries her into a church to marry her. Kind of sneaky, don't you think? It's one thing to put someone's hand in a bowl of warm water while they sleep, but to marry them? That's twisted. Meanwhile, Kia's older sister Amael sees what's going on and restores Arndis' sight so she can find Marc and stop him. Kia wakes up, sees a lot of crosses and Christian stuff on the walls, and runs screaming from her Holy TGI Friday's nightmare. She tramples the cameraman again, but this time it's artistic and we get a cool shot of her running out of the church upside down.

Arndis wanders around for a while, finds Marc, and they go home. Let me mention at this point that there's a lot of walking in this movie. The film is 76 minutes long, but could have easily fit into an hour if the characters had cars. Don't get me wrong; the walking scenes are a little excessive, but they set a pastoral mood and support the timelessness of the story. Back home, Marc stays up late pretending to read a book and Arndis tells him goodnight, then falls asleep sitting upright against a wall. I don't understand that Arndis. Get a bed!

From the succubus' point of view, Marc has defiled Kia by expressing his pure and wholesome love for her, so she and Amael plot revenge against him. They cast a spell and a naked incubus rises out of the ground. The incubus is played by Milos Milos, who prefers to be called by his first name. Kia lures Marc out of the house with a siren song while the succubi kidnap Arndis and take her to an abandoned house where the incubus violates her in a very impure manner.

Marc returns too late and gets into a fight with the incubus. Amael tells the incubus to let Marc kill him, thereby tainting his clean soul with the sin of murder (defending yourself is a sin, but fighting in a war isn't?). Though seriously wounded, Marc delivers a fatal blow to the incubus. Kia secretly leads Marc to a place where the devil will claim him, but Marc hears the tolling of the church bells and turns back, determined to save his soul. Kia realizes she truly loves Marc, says to hell with this, and chases after him, forsaking all her evil ways.

Meanwhile, Amael pulls the stake out of the incubus' heart and he springs back to life. Gosh, that was easy. The incubus turns into a goat and pounces on Kia just before she enters the church to join Marc. She wrestles with the goat, which is illegal in 48 states except on St. Patrick's Day. Wounded and exhausted, she finally frees herself from the incubus and crawls past the threshold of the church with some help from Marc. They hold each other in a pool of their own blood (it's like a romantic version of Reservoir Dogs) and stare at the goat. The end.

Some final notes of criticism and I'll be done here. Maybe I'm going out on a limb, but I suspect William Shatner had not yet taken acting lessons when he made this movie. In all seriousness, he and all of the actors/actresses do a decent job, especially considering Shatner was the only cast member whose native language was Esperanto. The cinematography is pretty good too. A Good vs. Evil plot always works best on a small scale, as is the case here. There may be nothing subtle about the symbolism of the eclipse, but it suits the allegorical nature of this story quite well. Plus, watching other people do stupid things like staring at the sun makes us all feel better about ourselves.

Speaking of Arndis, we are left to wonder what she's doing back at the house. Probably putting her hand on a hot stove or running with scissors. What an idiot.

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