TO WAIT


To wait is a punishment.

I anxiously tap my fingers 
to music that isn’t playing.
I feel sick because I skipped lunch 
in order to be on time.
I find things to occupy myself. 

I think about the things 
that I’m going to say to you
Where I come off as the hero and suave.
I have it all planned out in my head
As I pick the paint off this bench.

I wonder what you’re doing
But I silently pray 
that you’ll show up. 
I debate leaving, 
But I have no where else to go.

I must have done something very wrong.
I imagine what an ass I look like.
Sitting right outside the door of this restaurant
For the past 14 minutes and 33 seconds,
But who’s counting?

Finally I see you, 
Breezing down the hallway.
I stand up.
I go over my speech again,
But somehow it never comes off the way I want it to.

I decide that I don’t want to be on time anymore.
I decide I don’t want to wait.
I decide
I decide
Nothing.