I’ve done it again
Dammit!
I planned it out.
All was perfect.
It was perfect,
But I’ve fucked it up.
As I keep looking at the clock,
I am reminded of what I should be doing.
What I should be thinking,
Feeling.
I’ve been staring at a computer screen.
I’ve stared for so long,
I can’t see what I’m doing.
I can’t see the cards,
But I’m still playing the game.
STOP!
I command to myself.
STOP!
Can’t stop.
Just one more.
I promised myself this morning,
I wouldn’t let it happen again.
I promised.
I sinking into this hole.
I understand the consequences,
But I defy all reason.
Maybe I don’t want tomorrow to come.
My brain is mush.
I don’t know.
I’m such an idiot.
I don’t know what I’m afraid of.
I don’t know why I just want to bitch.
I should live in a hole.
What is this nonsense?
