I find myself
Begging
For a distraction.
A door to open,
A pencil to fall,
Anything.
The clock doesn’t tick anymore.
The clock doesn’t tick.
I anxiously wiggle my foot
Back and forth
And squirm in my seat.
My clammy hands
Wrapped around a purple pen.
The clock doesn’t tick anymore.
My heart beats a little
Faster
For no good reason.
Take a deep breath
In and out.
The clock doesn’t tick anymore.
A skittle will make me feel better.
I noisily
Shift through my bag.
I calmly place one in my mouth
When the teacher looks away.
The clock doesn’t tick anymore.
I like to think that I have something
Better to do.
I don’t.
Not right now.
The clock doesn’t tick anymore,
I don’t want it to.
There are no more days,
No more weeks,
No more semesters.
The clock doesn’t tick anymore,
But that seems unimportant.
I wonder if time ever moved at all
Or if someone made that up.
As if someone snapped their fingers,
I awake from my trance.
I can’t remember anything.
The bell rings.
I’m in my next class
Before I realized I moved.
I long for the time to go home
But there’s nothing to do there.
There’s nothing to do anywhere
And I find myself longing for the time
When the clock doesn’t tick anymore.
