I feel like I've been blown off a lot, recently. My two friends don't seem to return my calls. I think Kim's upset. Maybe I've been annoying her somehow. We'll make plans to do something the next day, then I'll call her and she tells me she's going to a horseshow but she'll call me when she gets home. Does she call me? Noooooo. Also, my mom called to talk to me brother and didn't talk to me. I konw that she doesn't want to make my brother feel bad like asking for me all the time, but it happened at a bad time. I feel annoyed that I even need friends. There's a part of me that gets so bored, if I didn't have them I'd practically pass out.
The other night I called my mom in tears because I felt like a freak and I really don't belong here. Plus I had felt bad because Kim had already blown me off.
I'm really having a hard time here at my dad's.I have a short temper because I just can't take it sometimes. I just can't. Yesterday was the first time I'd actually yelled at my dad and told him to get out of my room. I had to, my room's a sanctuary and he's always invading it. I told him that, but I still feel like a bitch. My dad gets this look on his face that makes me feel compassion and pity, but at the same time he annoys the piss out of me. I feel like the horrendus bitch daughter abusing the frail old man. I used to tell myself that he wasn't going to live that much longer, because of his heart problem, so I should cherish the time. Now I'm convinced he's going to live longer than I.
It will be interesting to see how the rest of this year turns out, because I know something explosive will happen. I just don't know when.