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Software ADs on Doordarshan!
"The man , The Machine, The Software - PeopleSoft VII"
Boy - "I am a PB boy"
Girl - "I am a PB gal"
"Badte bacho ke liye complete software - Powerbuilder"
"Eat bugs, Sleep bugs.....Do only debugs"
Internet Programmer - "I got the ASP power , now u go get it!!!"
"Microsoft office - Nothing official about it !!!"
"Software ki raksha karta hein Norton Anti virus.... Software hai jaha, Norton Antivirus hein vaha..."
Project Manager - I want the code today....
Programmer - 2 minutes
"Programmer ka kaam kare asaan, Duniya bhar me hai iski shaan...VB....VB.....VB"
Progect Manager - "Power objects is the secret of my programs"
Programmers - "Our programs"
Husband - Thak gaya hoon mein
Wife gives him instant coffee and says
To create instant miracle....Use Oracle !
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Computer communication lingo! !
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data.
What is a computer`s first sign of old age?
Loss of memory.
What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
It slipped a disk.
Why was there a bug in the computer?
It was looking for a byte to eat.
What is a computer virus?
A terminal illness.
To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord
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IT Conversation
Husband: (Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I`m now logged in."
Wife???: Have you brought the grocery?
Husband: Bad command or filename.
Wife???: But I told you in the morning!
Husband: Erroneous syntax. Abort?
Wife???: What about my new TV?
Husband: Variable not found ...
Wife???: At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband: Sharing Violation. Access denied...
Wife???: Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?
Husband: Too many parameters...
Wife???: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.
Husband: Data type mismatch.
Wife???: You are useless.
Husband: It`s by Default.
Wife???: What about your Salary?
Husband: File in use ... Try later.
Wife???: What is my value in the family.
Husband: Unknown Virus
MORAL: Beware before getting married to an IT pro.
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What computer acronyms really stand for:
ISDN - It Still Does Nothing
APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
WWW - World Wide Wait
DOS - Defunct Operating System
IBM - I Blame Microsoft
MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers  
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You know you are an Internet Junkie when...
5 minutes ago you were travelling to office at 80 mph. in your brand new car. Now you are travelling to hospital at double the speed in an ambulance. You wish there was UNDO in life!
You are already late, and your key is missing. You wish there was FIND TOOL in life!
You are a bankrupt, after investing in some weird business. You wish there was REBUILD ALL in life!
The train is so crowded that you cannot get anywhere near that nice girl at the other end. You wish there was ZOOM & VIEW FULL SCREEN in life! IF NOT FOR "Replace"!
One day you realize that you are turning bald. You wish there was CUT & PASTE in life!
After marriage you realize that there is bound to be a mismatch. You wish there was an
EVALUATION PERIOD or at least a sample down load or a DEMO version
When asked to your address, your answer begins with http://
Most of your friends have an @ in their names.
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Concept Of  Programing
Local variable
- Mein pal do pal ka shayar hoon..!!
Global variable
-Main har ik pal ka shayar hoon..!!
Null pointers
-Mera jeevan kora kagaz kora hi reh gaya!!
Dangling pointers
- Maut bhi aati nahi jaan bhi jati nahin..!!
goto
- Ajeeb dastan hai yeh Kahan shuru kahan khatam..!!
Two Recursive functions calling each other
-Mujhe kuchh kehna hein,mujhe bhi kuchh kehna hein, pehle tum, pehle tum..!!
The debugger
- Jab koi baat bigad jaye, Jab koi mushkil pad jaye, Tumdena saath mera..!!
COM programming in VC++
- Roop tera mastana, Pyar mera deewana, Bhool kahin hum se na ho jaye..!!
From VC++ to VB
- Yeh haseen vaadiyan, Yeh khula asmaan, Aa gaye humkahan..!!
Untrackable bug
- Aye ajnabi, tu bhi kabhi, awaaz de kahin se..!!
Unexpected bug (especially during presentation to client):
- Ye kya hua,Kaise hua, Kab hua, Kyon hua..!!
And then to the client:
- Jab hua, Tab hua, Oh chhodo, ye na socho..!!
Load Balancing:
- Saathi haath badhana, ek akela thak jayega, mil karbojhuthana
Modem - modem talk on a busy connection:
- suno - kaho, kaha - suna, kuch huwa kya? abhee to nahin..!!
Windows getting open sourced
- Parde mein rahne do, parda na uthao, parda jo uth gaya to bhed khul jayega..!!
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Humor in C about Indian software professionals abroad.
struct Indian_ Bachelor _ software_ professional
{
double standards;
short sighted;
long time _ between visits_ to_ Indian;
float horoscope;
void girlfriend;
chart desperate;
};
struct Married_ Indian_ Software_ Professional
{
double trouble ;
short charged;
long sighs;
float hopes;
void independence;
char philosophical;
}
struct Indian _Engaged _software _professional
{
double time _at _work;
/ / to get long vacation to India short attention _ span ;
long phone _calls _to _Indian;
float on _cloud _nine;
void bank _balance; char edgy;
}
struct Indian _Newly _Married _software _professional
{
double dinner _invitations;
short time _at _work;
long lunch _breaks;
float wife _resumes;
void bank _balance;
char hen _pecked;
} ;
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Tech Support Fun
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows."
The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door.

An Attempt To Make You Smile

Humors with Programming & Computer

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