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An Attempt To Make You Smile

Holdind Hands
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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Husband Upgradation
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the performance of flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0
In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running NAGGING 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Desperate
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Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2.
Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0.
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Television 6.1. Television 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Loud noises ( WAV files) and does not get deleted.
DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Cheerfulness 2.0.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
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Marriage
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food.....
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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Somenthing New
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
She said, "Some where I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
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Electric Wife
She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread-maker.
Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!
So I bought her an electric chair.
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Garbage Truck
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
"No, jump in!" said the truck driver.
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Leaving With Mother
A husband said to his wife, "Your mother has been living with us for 5 years now.
Isn't it time that she got herself her own apartment?"
"My mother ?" said the shocked wife, "I thought she was your mother."
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Confusing Children
A couple had three children. Two of them were bright, smart and
handsome but the third child was dull, ugly and backward.
One day the hubby got suspicious and asked, "Tell me the truth dear, is this third child really mine ?"
"Yes, dear," replied the wife, " but the other two are not."
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Obedient
One day a father called his 6 children together and asked,
"Now tell me, who has been most obedient during last week and did everything mother asked?"
In one voice they all replied, "You, daddy."

Humours with Husband & Wife

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