| The one I miss the most though is Jason. I used to be in love with him and he meant so much to me but, as it turned out, I meant nothing to him; he puts the rest of his life before me. With his girlfriend, drinking and smoking up I just do not fit into the picture anymore, so I told him to forget about me, and our wonderful friendship and I have not spoken to him since. I'm not sure whether I made a mistake or not but that doesn't matter because I just couldn't handle the way he made me feel anymore. The only mistake I know I made was letting this go on. This stupid charade I call my life. Many times before the winter, I would go to the park, sit in my swing, and think. That kept me calm and sane. However, once the winter started, they took down my swing. How was I supposed to deal with everything without my place of refuge? The wind is dancing on my wind chimes right now. They are casting small shadows on my wall, playing with my mind. Suddenly I do not hear the wind chimes anymore. It is as though along with my swing, their music has vanished too. I pick up the bottle of pills that were lying next to me up until now and vow to myself that this time I won't give in to the tempting option of keeping my life. This choice has been inevitable. Between life and death, I choose death and I guess now it is my turn to disappear; but unlike the swing, or perhaps even my mother, there is no coming back for me. I leave you now with some words I have written: Only a Dream Over the rainbow, there lies a dream But now your life rips apart At it's delicate seams Left to rot In a dark dank hole Questions without answers Your story left untold Stop and admire A life without pain But the sorrows you've encountered Leave a permanent stain Nowhere to run And nowhere to hide Your thoughts wash away With the receding tide Your voice sings a song Of hope and desire But your mind accepts That those dreams burn in fire Over the rainbow, there lies a life Open and welcoming Only when you close your eyes at night Love, Me |
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