One Kiss Apart written to the song, �Prayers for Rain� by The Cure Disclaimer: * All characters of Rurouni Kenshin belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki, Jumo comics, and Sony. * He traced circles in the dirt. Sanosuke sat outside the Kamiya Dojo, alone. Kenshin, Kaoru, and Yahiko had gone to the Akabeko restaurant for an early lunch, which he had of course not known about. His stomach grumbled loudly, and he cursed them all in his mind. Those rotten bastards did this on purpose. They deliberately want to starve me! he thought to himself, and quit his dirt art to sit back, and reflect. Lately, he had been rather bad company. Even he had to admit that. Ever since he found out that his Fox, had become engaged, he had never been the same. He hardly went to town anymore, and his fighting had slacked off considerably. He was getting his ass kicked more often than usual, and he knew that it had something to do with that guy that Megumi was going to marry. Sanosuke, shook his head and sighed heavily. Why does she have to marry such a jerk? If I wasn�t in such a screwed up state of mind, I would say that he was just as bad as that piece of shit she used to make Opium for. Or maybe I�m just being an asshole. Sano stopped himself before his thoughts raged any further. Why the hell am I stressing myself out over this? Megumi is my friend and I should be happy that she finally found someone to love her. But then the realization came to him, and he could do nothing to stop the truth from finally making itself known, �But he doesn�t love her the way that I love her.� Music Begins � You shatter me, your grip on me so dull it kills; you stifle me infectious sense of hopelessness and prayers for rain; I suffocate I breathe in dirt and nowhere shines but desolate and drab, the hours all spent on killing time again, all waiting for the rain You fracture me your hands on me, a touch so plain so stale it kills; you strangle me entangle me in hopelessness and prayers for rain; I deteriorate I live in dirt, and nowhere glows but drearily and tired the hours all spent on killing time again, all waiting for the rain.� Megumi stopped short of the Kamiya Dojo�s gate, when her eyes fell on the figure of Sanosuke. He sat cross legged, his eyes closed, and his head tilted slightly to the side, as if he were listening to something in his mind. She hesitated, and actually thought about turning around and returning when the others had arrived. Sano made her nervous, nowadays. He wasn�t acting like his usual foolish self, which is a quality she always enjoyed about him. Although she always criticized him for being so childish, that quality was one that had always charmed her. What could have tainted it with such bitterness? she thought to herself as she glanced back to see if anyone was returning home. When she turned back to the Dojo, she found that Sano had opened his eyes, and he was looking straight at her. Megumi felt her heart stop for one brief moment, as she felt his gaze burn into her. He almost glared at her, as he moved now to stand, and started towards her. Megumi felt the beating of her heart increase in speed that she felt compelled to place her hand over it to calm its hammering against her chest. Sano made her so nervous, so much that she could swear that it was fear that she felt at that moment. The look on his face almost made her scream. He looked her over, slowly taking every detail of her form. My God, he has such nerve! she thought angrily to herself, as she noticed his gaze lingered on her lips. Why is he doing this? He is acting so strangely. What could be wrong with him? �Sanosuke, why are you here? No one is home right now. They won�t be back until late, I believe. Why don�t you head on home, and come back some other day�, Megumi suggested, hoping that this would break his trance, and make him leave. He blinked at her, and stared into her eyes. She felt something beyond his gaze pull at her, and her breath caught inside her throat when he finally spoke. �Why are you here then, Fox? Did you take a wrong turn on your way to my place?� That statement made Megumi gasp. �Why would I go to your apartment? Why would I ever want to set foot inside of it? How dare you imply that I would do such a thing? What kind of a woman do you take me for?� she raged, her face turning red, with every word she spoke. Sano was unmoved by her outburst. He shook his head slowly, and pursed his lips. He hardly ever smiled, now. �I take you for an uptight woman, who can�t even recognize a joke nowadays, when she hears one. How far has that stick been shoved up your ass since you got yourself engaged?� He sounded so cold. His words slapped her hard. Megumi felt the tears form behind her eyes, and they threatened to fall from beneath her lids. She took a deep breath, and held them in. �My life is none of your business. I don�t know what has come over you. You are so different now, that I barely recognize you�, Megumi said, desperately trying to hold her tears back. The coldness in Sano�s demeanor was breaking her heart. She hated it. �Sanosuke. What is wrong?� Sano couldn�t bear the look of anguish that had now come over Megumi�s beautiful face. He saw how he made her suffer, and he felt ashamed. She was entitled to her happiness, however she acquired it. Yet, in this brief encounter, he came to realize that he could no longer be Megumi�s friend. His love for her was suffocating, and it overwhelmed him when he stood in her presence. She looked at him now with tears in her eyes, and he hated himself for being such a bastard. �Go home, and leave me alone. You�ve done enough already. I can�t stand to look at you any longer,� he said gripping the gate of the Dojo with his fingers so firmly that his knuckles turned white. He could feel his heart tear as she sucked in a breath to keep herself from crying. She tried so hard to be strong. It was something he always admired about her. Megumi held in her tears and, and glared at him. She could not help the slight loathing that she felt at that moment. �Sanosuke, I am not going anywhere. I came here to say good-bye to everyone. There have been a change of plans, and I leave for Kyoto tomorrow. I won�t see anyone for a very long time.� She searched those brown eyes for some sign of the old Sanosuke; the Sanosuke that she...that she... He scowled down at her. �Well, its just as well. I can breathe easy now. Good luck to you, and have a nice trip.� He turned his back on her, and took a step to head back to the Dojo. A grip on his wrist stopped him dead. He looked down, and saw Megumi�s slender fingers wrapped tightly around his wrist, using all of her strength to pull him back. Her touch was firm, yet beneath that he felt her softness, and he wished, just for that moment, that she was bandaging his hand once again, as she had done so often, and which he had so loved. She had always taken such care with his battered bones, and bruised flesh. She still cared now. He turned back to face her-and snatched his wrist free. �I believe that someone is waiting for you. Why are you lingering here?� Megumi gritted her teeth, and pressed her hands against her sides. She wanted so badly to strike him, but she was determined to say her piece. He was asking for it. �Look you Baka Chickenhead, I am not going anywhere until you tell me what is wrong with you. You have been at odds with everyone for the past few months. If you have not noticed this yet, everyone avoids you. No one wants to be around you, and I for one do not want to be around you. You say that you can no longer bring yourself to look at me. Have I become that ugly, and sickening to behold? Am I a vision of your nightmares, Sagara Sanosuke, that I remind you of what haunts you in your sleep? If that is so, then I don�t know if I want to go. For all this anguish that you are putting me through, I want to haunt your thoughts, and every waking moment that you experience. You deserve to be tortured for being so wickedly cold to everyone!� Megumi stopped to catch her breath. Sano, looked thoughtful. She eyed him curiously, wondering if any of her words had any effect. He glanced at her again, and she noticed that his scowl had disappeared, and was replaced by a deep frown. This disturbed her even more. �Sano, what is it? Please talk to me,� she pleaded, and raised her hand to touch his shoulder. He moved so that her hand brushed the air, and she pulled her hand back to rest it against her heart. Her tears came freely now. �Megumi, stop those tears from falling. The one who should be crying is me. As much as I want to feel your hand on me, I can�t allow you to touch me. If you do, then I won�t be able to keep my hands from touching all of you.� Megumi choked back her tears and stared at him, dumbstruck. His shoulders sagged, as he sighed deeply. He turned to face her, and his expression was distant, and somber. He moved his eyes to glance at her left hand. The diamond ring that she wore on her third finger, gleamed in the sun. �I am too late.� Megumi moved her right hand so that it covered the ring. Sano still stared at it. �Your heart is no longer free. I can�t look into it as I have in the past, and I can�t lay eyes on you as I have in the past. Things are different now. It is best for me that you leave. This constant reminder of what I can not have, will consume me.� Megumi�s grip on her hand tightened, and she felt her nails burrow into her skin. She needed to feel the pain, for she felt herself slowly growing numb. �How long have you felt this way?� she managed to ask, feeling a moist trail of blood move down into the crook of her third finger. She watched him closely, as he took her bloodied hand into his. He traced the blood trail with his index finger, and turned her hand over to caress her palm with his thumb. Megumi�s eyes filled with tears again. �I feel like this all the time. I feel it more than ever now, and I don�t know how much more of it I can stand.� He let go of her hand. Megumi still felt the touch of his fingers, and closed her eyes to savor it. Why am I so caught up in this? I have someone waiting for me. Why am I spending so much time with him? Why do I still feel his touch on my hand? Why do I want him to touch it again? Megumi opened her eyes, and saw that Sano had walked away from her. He was heading for the Dojo, and she found herself opening the gate in a frenzy, and running towards him. Sano stopped and looked over his shoulder. He felt her forehead pressing against his back, as she cried softly. He was astounded. He turned around fully, and she fell against his chest hiding her beautiful face in the folds of his gi. Her arms encircled him, crushing him to her so that he would not walk away. She never wanted to see him walk away again. She felt his hand move, and she felt his fingers in her hair, as they moved languidly through the strands to soothe her. Megumi sighed, and melted against him. His arms went around her now, and they held onto each other. �I can get used to this, Megumi. You really should go now,� Sano said pulling away. Her grip on him tightened, and she looked up at him. �You never said a word about it. Why?� she asked, gripping the material of his gi within her small fingers. Suddenly her mind raced with the thought of never seeing Sanosuke again. Her fiancee, was far from here waiting for her, but she just could not leave Sano�s side. He had spent the past year feeling an intense love for her, and he did nothing about it but suffer. You never said a thing to me! a voice in her head screamed as she forced herself to let go of his gi. Sano stood before Megumi, his hands now stuffed into his pockets. His casual stance hid the fact that his heart was slowly tearing itself. Her desperate gaze was too much for him to bear. He had never realized that she could feel what he felt for her. He could almost swear that behind her gaze, she was begging for him to stop her. She wanted him to stop her from leaving Tokyo. She wanted him to stop her from leaving her friends. And mostly, she wanted him to stop her from leaving with a man she did not love. Sano looked away, and choked over the lump that formed in his throat. Megumi had the opportunity to live the kind of life that a woman such as herself deserved. The kind of life that he could not offer her. His breathing became heavy, as he turned back to face her. She looked pleadingly at him, and he almost cried. He shook his head, and closed his eyes. �Megumi. It is time to say good-bye.� She lowered her head, and whispered, �I don�t want to.� Sano opened his eyes, intent and focused. �Then I will say good-bye to you.� He took her into his arms, and lowered his mouth to hers. Megumi parted her lips to take him wholly into her, and she felt it all from within him. The desire that he hid from her, and the intensity that dwelled within his heart. He let it all out into her, deepening the kiss to take in whatever he could of her. He did love her, insanely, and desperately. But he had to let her go. He pulled back from her, yearning to touch her soft lips again. He could feel the pulling of his heart, the pain that now came as he watched her raise her hand to her lips. He looked down at the ground for he felt the wetness behind his eyes threaten to reveal him. He could not look at her anymore. �I will kiss you like that in my dreams. I will kiss you forever in another realm, and perhaps in reality, in another life, for I will be worthy of you then. For now, I will take my memory of you wherever I may go. I am leaving as well, Megumi. There is nothing here for me now. It is time for me to move on.� Sano moved past Megumi. She stood motionless, the wind blowing her hair, and he caught the fragrance of her ebony colored mane. Plums, with rose. The aroma became another memory of her. He walked away slowly, using all of his strength not to look back. If he did he knew he would never leave. Another gust of wind blew by, and Sanosuke decided that he would allow it to lead him onto his journey. As he walked, his mind wandered and from within its depths, he wished her a happy life. Yet he could not help but wish that it would be a life with him. -MKasshoku Fanfiction Archive Main Page |