Plug up, pollute, kill and destroy your body. I hope that doesn't really happen, but I've seen prescriptions ruin so many people's lives(including almost all of my friend's parents...).

I guess I'm just wrong and blind... I guess all these patterns that I see are all lies. At least to everyone else in the world. No one shares my bleak outlook on humanity... no one wants to believe all the things right in front of them that are so obvious. That's what I love about our culture... we have so much available to us... but we do nothing with it.

Your all so worried about your own existence... I could honestly care a less if I died today. The only thing keeping me here is that I want to DO something. I WILL be a part of everything that is going to go down in this world soon.

Sedation is just part of the plan... to keep us all sedated with anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs and television(heroin box!).

Everyone stops caring about all the shit going on all around them. I don't know... maybe I'm just nuts... maybe all these things don't matter. These thoughts lay heavily on me though, daily.

My life feels like "Waking Life"... all I do is work, get fucked up, and have extraordinary conversations(ie the movie) constantly. My friends(close ones)... we have started something... and we will all finish it some day, even though some of us aren't ready to "jump in the shit" yet. My generation is important, I know this. We are all so lost right now though.

I see my friends(all the not so close ones) daily getting worse... going through all the shit I've already been through... and I try to tell them, but they don't believe me. My friends are disappearing... into their own little cliques, that will soon be dissolved by the hatred that they will learn for each other by living in this decrepit state.

I live in a small town in CO, and everything here is FUCKED UP! My friends parents have been drugged for years(and my parents) and a lot of people are just realizing it. They're reality is gone, they will fall into the mold created for them. My friends are now taking up such wonderful activities as smoking crack, and doing cocaine all the time, smoking speed, and doing any other drug they can get their grubby little hands on. I hope none of them get real depraved and fall into a "heroin dream".

That's my reality... I know it is not everyone's, but this shit is all around you, even if you want to be blind to it.

I might be ready to do it.. I might be giving up on this society(hah... I know I already did). I think I might leave this place soon, in favor of a better one. Even if I can't find a "better" place, I will go out and do something. Maybe I will join the forefront of the coming war. Maybe I will just disappear and become someone else and write about humanity. Or maybe I'll just end up staying right here and doing the same shit I'm doing right now... trying to make people SEE.

I just can't stay in this system and not use it to destroy itself.

I see... the humans... we are riding these waves and coalescing into and out of each other... the waves of consciousness. We are tearing each other limb from limb in this society, consuming and consuming everything we see.

CONSUME! CONFORM! OBEY!

O'Nus is right... we are just numbers to them.

Did you know that about 1 in every 132 people is in the court system or jail, getting fucked by our government. Most of those are substance abuse charges. We are being told what we we are allowed to consume.

Did you know that we spend 3 times the amount of money as the top other three countries in the world on our armies? We could feed the whole world if we used that money differently.

What are we all doing right now?

We are all convinced that we can't make a difference... that's what they want us to believe. Who the FUCK is going to make a differenece then, if it's not us? No one then? We all just let ourselves be controlled...

I hope none of you live in CA and voted for "Arnauud" or lil' Gary. What a fucking waste. Wanda Sykes put it best on the Daily Show(wish I could remember exactly right now). What? Does everyone think that our votes are just jokes? Is this reality not slapping you in the fucking face hard enough? Why don't I just go outside, douse myself in gasoline, and light a goddamn match? I mean... if everyone else is going to throw their lives away...

You know... it doesn't matter... I feel like I'm constantly repeating myself and yet no one understands what I'm saying. I guess I just don't speak the right language or use the right words or have the "right" ideas.

Well... you guys all do what you want... just do SOMETHING.... don't waste your life like I feel I'm doing every day, and like I see everyone around me doing all the time. Do something profound... don't let the world keep you down, thinking that you are just another number, just another unimportant speck in the billions of specks meandering around on this planet. We are all part of it... I've tossed my stones everywhere... I just hope that not all my ripples are lost on the deaf.

Oh yeah... and if you don't live in America... feel lucky, every day. We are the worlds cancer.

::rant off::

P.S. go here if you believe the war is coming... because I can show you, it's already here. Medios Independientes(oh, and it's not all in spanish, so don't get confused.)