Im excited to say the minutemen are coming the minutemen are coming. When I first heard this is was ecstatic to know that people would be coming in to help us from foreign dangers. I mean after all we can all remember what the minutemen did for us in 18th century. Let me give you a quick history lessen on who the minutemen are. Minutemen were men in arms formed to protect their towns from foreign invasion and ravages of war. Minutemen were a small hand-picked elite force which were required to be highly mobile and able to assemble quickly. Minutemen were selected from militia muster rolls by their commanding officers. Typically 25 years of age or younger, they were chosen for their enthusiasm, reliability, and physical strength. Sounds good hu?
So what I ended up doing next I went over to their web page to take a look at these saviors of the south and what I found to my dismay these guys didn�t fit the portrait of the typically minuteman, young and possessing physical strength. Instead these guys were well over 40 pudgy pink-faced men. Yep a lot like a dogs penis. I read more into the website and found out that in 21 years we will be over run by illegal immigrants and they will plant themselves into our political system and make changes of how our constitution is run. Hell they�ll be running the US. Ya sure Moron I can already see my yard man hanging out with the big wigs in Austin and DC changing the constitution so that he can rule the US with the rest of the fruit pickers, and yard men. Besides you pudgy faced bastards, you don�t have to worry about an immigrant screwing up the constitution are political leaders and lawyers are already doing a good job of that themselves.
But that�s not I got a real treat the other day when I went to go eat at a subway. All of a sudden I start getting hit on by a white pudgy pink faced guy. He starts making small talk about Brownsville and lets me know that hes part of a new local movement called the minutemen. Then to my relief found that pinky wasn�t hitting on me but maybe trying to recruit me. I mean a fit their poster boy image. White male in my 20s who�s physically fit. Problem with this is I lack the motivation to actually go out and chase a guy who I see if they made it this far maybe deserves a chance at making a go at it. So I decided to ask this volunteer a question. �Why did you become a minuteman?� His response. �Im tired of these Mexicans taking our jobs.� I had look around sort of like when you make that racist joke to make sure there are none of the targeted members of your joke around in the room for fear of getting your ass kicked. I suddenly felt a sharp stabbing pain in my frontal lobe; it was the unmistakable feeling you get when you walk away from a 30 minute conversation with a yammering co-worker--the feeling you get when you know that you just got dumber. Is it really Mexicans taken our jobs, or is it corporations hiring illegal to do the same job at half the pay? Its hard to picture an immigrant saying �Holey hell there are a bunch of American jobs out there we can steal!�
Another thing some of these yehaws do tote guns but its ok since they encourage their ranks to have a concealed handgun permit. Lets face it its going to be harder then a priest at a playground for these guys to contain themselves when they see the next Illegal crossing the border. Hey but Bandit, Al Garza said they simply observe spot and report. Yeah but what happens the first time they observe spot and obliterate?
Lastly, am I supposed to feel a whole lot safer since Al �Token� Garza is leading this group? Yea like none of us have met a Hispanic who thinks there white.