Tuesday 25 May 2004

It's been over a month since I've posted any writing here. That's not to say I haven't tried to write... I started twice before. But the words just didn't seem to come out. I've felt so stressed and everything seems out of synch. Hopefully writing here can help loosen thoughts, and get the creative juices flowing.

I've most of the day off from school today. The kids are on a field trip and won't be back until after lunch. I'll probably only have to teach three classes today... fewer if they return later than 1pm.

I left off writing here in April, behind in my paperwork. I'm still there. I had three things due at school and I've only completed one. My textbook had lessons made out a week in advance, now they're down to a day. I feel like I'm letting Beth and Jody down... Beth more so than Jody, I believe.

Despite the internal panic, my classes are at least going well. SiSi became the first of my students all year to score 100% on one of my tests last week. When I was bragging up her accomplishment (in front of SiSi) to the boss-ladies, Beth told her that getting an A in Mr. Mark's class is really impressive, a lot more difficult than in any other class, and to get a 100% really meant something. Well, at least my reputatation of being the toughest teacher in school is intact, as it was at HHS.

Speaking of HHS, the class of 2004 graduates this coming weekend. Matt M. and Matt J. have sent senior pictures or graduation notices... Justin and Bobbi have written email. The past week has seen me missing my former students a ton. I wish I had the cash to give them (and more than a handful of others) decent graduation gifts. I wish I had the cash to just up and purchase a car so I could go out to visit them this weekend and wish them well. I received good news that Matt J. will be attending college at UW-Green Bay, only 40 miles away, and I hope to run into him a couple times this summer as he'll be in the process of moving to Wisconsin's east coast.

The thought of their graduation has also had another weird effect on me. It's strange how one touches others' lives... how it seems the littlest piece of conversation or encouragement can stay in their hearts forever. Despite my obviously not being welcome to visit the joint, a few of the HHS seniors still voted for me to be their faculty speaker at graduation this year. It's all bittersweet, but another strange feeling I've had recently is that the regret I feel is not in having missed their last three semesters, but that I didn't have the opportunity to teach them in the atmosphere I have at my current school. I could have helped them go so much farther in life had they attended a school like The Academy. Still, I'm so very proud of them, and in awe at the fact that they feel I was an important person in their lives.