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I couldn't sleep at all that night. Monday after school I went straight to bed, trying to regain lost sleep from the night before and to recover from my cold. Tuesday we had time to talk again. I asked if she wanted me to leave, but Kari said she couldn't afford the house on her own since she was not working. She told me she expected me to stay in the house, paying all the bills (and at that time I did all the cooking and cleaning in the house after working all day) until she felt well enough to work. When she would get her feet underneath her, then I would be expected to leave forever. She also reiterated the thought that if I tried anything to pursue any parental rights of our baby at all, she would have an abortion... that I would never see our Peanut. Later that evening she called out for me from the bathtub. She was feeling ill and asked for my help. I sat next to her, conditioning and rinsing her hair, then rubbing her back until she felt better. She went to bed, then called out for me once more, saying I didn't say goodnight to Peanut. I laid in her bed for a moment, rubbed softly over her belly, and said goodnight to our ten-week old seed for the first time in over a week. I went back into Cathy's room to sleep... still hurt and now mistrustful... but with one glimmer of hope that Kari would realize how much I loved her and wanted to raise our family together. |