---------------------- Forwarded by Esbester on 25-04-2002
11:08 ---------------------------
Please respond to Gollen <Gollen>
To: "'Cynthia'"
<Cynthia>, Esbester
cc:
Subject: RE:
"Hello, Sir!",
Greetings demented one, for it is I.
I noticed at around 3 this morning that my face has come
away. I didn't
realise it was still possible with the newly fitted triple
locking anti-cock
screws holding it in place. It doesn't really matter though,
I was tired of
that face. I was looking through the Innovations catalogue
for a
replacement. Noticed on page 14 model COK91447 which comes
with a paper
guide, sprinkler system and panic button! Though it was a
little expensive
(about 3 with a finance option). Also on the same page a
limited edition
'eco-friendly' model which comes with solar panels and
muffler (for
muffing). I read somewhere that you can buy disposable faces
from Argos, but
I couldn't find them in my catalogue (It's about 3 old,
though). Special
wicking front plate with added hand rail.
If either of you have any suggestions regarding new faces (I
won't consider
second hand after that unfortunate incident last time - that
bastard told me
it was a genuine Chegwin) I would welcome a booklet and side
platter.
Make, or, Make harder...?
Pnu
---------------------- Forwarded by Esbester on 25-04-2002
11:08 ---------------------------
Please respond to Cynthia
To: Esbester, Gollen
cc:
Subject: Unobtainable
Foxhayes Smattering
It says in my training book:
"In order to give an indication of how safe a bond is
for an investor, ratings are given by specialist companies such as Moody and
Standard & Poor. An AAA or Aaa bond
is the highest rating..."
I wondered if there was such a thing as an AaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAH
bond.
Food for thought, certainly.
What's with the fish-flapping, Arnold? Why not just attach to your face using
horse-staples and strategic application of simulated blowlamp lather? Or has the glue reached its maturity
date? I heard there was a special
washable, lawnmower, artistic, slicing machine, hidden somewhere in the garden
(about 3 from the rockery). It's not
too difficult if you do it in Windows 3.11, but civil investment instruments
may occasion occasional perturbation (rhomboid).
It's your dog. Deal
with it.
Makkkkkaakaakaakarrrramba!
=========================================
---------------------- Forwarded by Esbester on 25-04-2002
11:08 ---------------------------
Please respond to "Gollen" <Gollen>
To: Cynthia, Esbester
cc:
Subject: RE:
Unobtainable Foxhayes Smattering
That's all good and well, Arnold, but in my training book
you would find
textual spakings thus:
"3.2.4.1 - Office Conduct
Members of staff who repeatedly defecate on the desks and
chairs of
other staff members will be severly oiled, then launched
from the 4th
floor window (park facing, utterly) at a speed of 3, on a
poorly gummed
wooden plank. Trajectory will be determined by the Senior
Management
Team (SMT), but is usually roughly in the direction of the horses.
***
4.5.4.1 - Live Animals
Members of staff found to be concealing live animals on
their person in
the office will be strapped and beaten with rubber
truncheons, in the
face. If the animal(s) in question is a dog the truncheon
will be
shortened by about 3.
4.5.4.2 - Dead Animals
Members of staff found to be concealing dead animals on
their person in
the office will be replaced by elephant tusks. If elephant
tusks are
unavailable a kettle full of ants will be used.
***
7.8.1.1 - Lighting
Head emptied and refilled with jam."
Oh yes, I looked around the rockery but all I could see, for
3 in every
direction, were dogs. They were digging for chalk.
Choque.
---------------------- Forwarded by Esbester on 25-04-2002
11:08 ---------------------------
To: "Gollen"
<Gollen>, Cynthia
cc:
From: Esbester
Subject: RE:
Unobtainable Foxhayes Smattering
QUIT THY RAMBUNCTIOUS THETTERINGS.
YE SHALL BE WATCHING CHANNEL 4 TOMORROW NIGHT. FOR THERE IS
NEWS.
If you know what I mean.
Please respond to Cynthia
To: Esbester, Gollen
cc:
Subject: Actu-blinth,
with added mnurgh
You know what's coming by now...
Well I haven't done very well this week, the best I could
find was "BatiMap SA".
Possibly they make atlases with slightly skewed sexuality... I don't
know.
Have a weekend,
Cordial, 4.3%
Dave
---------------------- Forwarded by Esbester on 25-04-2002
11:08 ---------------------------
Please respond to Gollen <Gollen>
To: "'Cynthia'"
<Cynthia>, Esbester
cc:
Subject: FW:
Actu-blinth, with added mnurgh
Sorry Wiltshire, I forgot to include you in that reply. I
think the loud cow
launcher in the park distracted me...
PS(TURD). I hope you both utterly saw 2x Brass Eye last
night - firstly
Drugs then Animal Cruelty! And Chris Morris actually said
'about 3' at one
point!!
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Gollen
> Sent: 06 July 2001
16:13
> To: 'Cynthia'
> Subject: RE:
Actu-blinth, with added mnurgh
>
> Oh ye is for Davis, a pile of shit...
>
> I found Blisk Ltd, which, the company literature
assures me, is a hollowed
> out Blinth!
>
> Also Toss Limited, Tossers Ltd, Toss Trading Ltd and
Tostig Ltd. I have a
> feeling that all of these companies are somehow related
and perhaps as
> their business increases so too does Kleenex Ltd profit
from increased
> income ???
>
> It's a dog, but wrapped in clingfilm!!!!!
>
---------------------- Forwarded by Esbester on 25-04-2002
11:08 ---------------------------
Please respond to "Gollen" <Gollen>
To: Cynthia, Esbester
cc:
Subject: RE:
Actu-blinth, with added mnurgh
There seems to have been a distinct lack on email
communications this
week, utterly. I just damn not good enough! Try flapping
about a bit...
This week I found Honkhonk Ltd, based in Cardiff (bloody
Welsh!).
Don't just stare at it, beat it, in the face!
Psig
---------------------- Forwarded by Esbester on 25-04-2002
11:08 ---------------------------
Please respond to Cynthia
To: Gollen <Gollen>
cc: Esbester
Subject: RE:
Actu-blinth, with added mnurgh
That's all well and good, Mungo, but what you have to
understand is that if you were having YOUR face constantly chewed by a herd of
angry lizards then you probably wouldn't make with e-mail to a degree of more
than about 2! Anyway, the fact is that
today (being the day currently in progress) there is work - -, due largely to
recent events, so I have a little more time than habitual to make, and indeed,
make. Also, they've let all the water
out of the office at last, which is a relief for everyone, I can tell you! Working in diving equipment and special
suits was beginning to affect staff morale, and many of my colleagues in the
Benelux section of the room claimed there had been attacking incidents
involving herds of angry herrings with special fish weaponry! Damage to the computers has been minimal,
though, largely thanks to the special force-fields we had installed around them
last Thursday - thank goodness we took the precaution or we'd be all of a
slosher!
I hope the cream worked; further supplies can be obtained by
calling Falmouth United Cream Kompany on (01675) 3. The guy in charge of orders is very helpful, just don't mention
dresses as this can cause him to regress and start thinking he's a parrot. I understand from talking to Dr Frederick
that the condition (known as Flapstrom's Syndrome or more commonly as
"faecal spider-botts") is getting more and more common. We partook of tea and cakery last Tuesday
week just gone, at about 3, and he taught me some fascinating facts about trees
over a cup of Botticelli. For instance,
did you know that the Caledonian Screw-Larch can grow up to 12 miles high? Thankfully the trunk is never more than 3
thick which is quite rubbery, otherwise it would be a real danger to air
traffic! Also, did you know that the
Alberto Finch Blaster is the only plant on the planet to have evolved ballistic
weaponry of its own accord? Wonder of
naychur it may be, but it is sadly a very endangered species, now
found wild only in certain areas of Bedford. All attempts to keep it in captivity have
ended in guavas.
Anyway Chocko, I must get back to the mill... can't be
leaving the minions unsupervised can we?
Baaaaaaaaaah
Yeovil
On 13/07/2001 13:35:42 some bloke I met in the Duke of York
last Chewsday wrote:
> There seems to have been a distinct lack on email
communications this
> week, utterly. I just damn not good enough! Try
flapping about a bit...
>
> This week I found Honkhonk Ltd, based in Cardiff
(bloody Welsh!).
>
> Don't just stare at it, beat it, in the face!
>
> Psig
>
---------------------- Forwarded by Esbester on 25-04-2002
11:08 ---------------------------
Please respond to "Gollen" <Gollen>
To: Cynthia
cc: Esbester
Subject: RE:
Actu-blinth, with added mnurgh
Hey! Crispy and Stumple!
How are you making today - for it is Friday?
Disappointingly, I looked
for Mr Lizard Ltd, Bitchmum Ltd and Chocky Ltd only to find
that none of
them exist, bifteque. As I see messages - - I assume you too
were as
successful as me, fist. Anyway, you can make big with eyes
and modem to
look at this:
http://page.auctions.yahoo.com/uk/auction/53601530
If either of you are interested in purchasons plus, then let
me know and
I'll arrange a discount of about 3.
Make big this weekend, for it is piss.
Vsez.