May 5th and 6th-Ups and Downs
This always happens. It’s quite frustrating because they complicate things and makes me start asking myself questions that I don’t want to ask myself. What are they exactly? They are mood swings. This has been happening to me ever since I actually really went anywhere real (Peru, just a couple weeks over 3 years ago). What moment I’ll be having the time of my life and I’ll be startling this rock (Earth) flying through outer space in control of everything. The next moment I’ll be getting mad at my reflection, and my head starts saying things like, “Who do you think you are?” “What do you think you’re doing here?” “Go home!” “You don’t need to be here,” “What do you think you’re going to accomplish out of all this?” “No one wants you to be here,” “No one cares about you, bud.” Well, I don’t really know what happens. Yesterday (Monday) was one of those crumby days. Forget about me for a second…the day was just crumby. It was overcast but humid and warm…not a good combo. That’s not a combo that puts me in a good mood. Secondly, my own situation wasn’t too optimistic. I was unable to make any plans to hang out with anyone for the day so I was left to hang out by myself. I originally didn’t think that would be so bad because I could just explore on my own and do what I want and maybe I would meet some new people or see some people from my school. I thought of going to a movie, which I’ve wanted to do, but I decided it’d be too lame if I went by myself. Anyway, I headed into town on my bike, which took about 25 minutes. On the way I was in a good mood for no particular reason…maybe I was happy because someone had been sending me annoying e-mails and I completely told them off and then they stopped…or…maybe it was because I as I rode my bike I had decided to serenade myself by singing the Start Spangled Banner out loud. When I got into town I walked around for a while. I think I started to get annoyed when I realized that the downtown area was a lot smaller than I originally thought it was. Well, it’s not small. I’d say it’s about 8 square blocks, but since I wasn’t going into any of the stores and I wasn’t talking to anyone except for exchanging complicated e-mails with a friend, it didn’t take very long to get around the entire area several times from different directions. So, I got bored pretty quickly. I kept seeing foreigners too…that didn’t make me feel any better. I hate seeing foreigners in Japan. You may be asking the question now, “Michael, aren’t you a foreigner in Japan?” The answer to that question is, “Yes, I am.” I also hate seeing myself…actually…like…if I look in a mirror and I’m the only one there I don’t care, but if there are Japanese people around me and I see myself I feel really awkward and uncomfortable and I don’t like to look. No, this isn’t a new development. I felt this way almost 2 years ago the first time I came to Japan. Anyway, the other people I kept seeing were people from my school. This would have been fine if they’re been people I actually wanted to see, but it was the people that I just dislike for no particular reason. And I think they saw me and I could hear them giggling but I didn’t know why. Maybe they weren’t even giggling at me, but that didn’t make me feel better anyway. You ever get that feeling that everyone is looking at you and if they laugh, they’re laughing at you? Well…the first part of that is almost certainly true of me here…why do people look at me? I’m different of course! Well, I don’t know about that second part. After a little while, I actually kind of wanted someone to laugh at me and make it really obvious so I could tell them to go $&#@ and @$% with %&#) and some *!@!^$ to go along with it…..in Japanese and totally blow their minds. Like…I speak…and they can’t even see me anymore because in their eyes I’m surrounded by a white blinding halo of light, lighting is coming out of my mouth, and I’m juggling balls of fire in my hands. Well…….…that’s at least how I imagined it. I never got the chance though. Anyway, yesterday had two good parts. First, I decided to do a tiny bit of exploring and I found an alternative route from Miyazaki Station to South Miyazaki Station. The last time I made that trip I was on my bike and I was rushing like mad and it took about 25 minutes. This time, I was also on my bike, going normal pace, and I made it in 9 minutes. So that was cool! What was better though was that once I got there, I went on a hunch…and I found a Coco-Ichiban-Ya place!!!! WOOHOOO!! I’ve definitely been on the lookout for one of those ever since I got here. What is it? It’s my favorite restaurant chain on the planet (curry rice place). And now I know where one is in Miyazaki. Now I don’t need anything else.
Well, I
will touch on today briefly before I go to sleep. One thing about today was that I was really tired and it’s
getting late again and I don’t want to be tired again tomorrow like I was
today. Today it rained all day. Well…thankfully it didn’t rain ALL day. If it had, I would have been very unhappy
because it takes me a half hour to ride my bike home. The rain stopped pretty much when school ended. That was very convenient. At the end of the day the sun even came out
a little bit! It’s supposed to be rainy
again tomorrow though. Oh well. Anyway, today we finally started our normal
gym schedule. I joined the table-tennis
section since that was the only activity that I don’t have a moral objection
to…well…I guess I don’t object to badminton….no….wait….I do. The name!
It should be spelled “badmitton!!!!”
Well, at least in Japanese they called it バドミントン
(bah-doh-mean-toh-n). It wasn’t really
hot today…actually it was rather cool because of the rain, but for some reason
everyone was sweating like crazy. It
was really warm in the classrooms and I guess all the moisture in the air just
steamed things up. I’m not going to
bother bringing my jacket to school tomorrow.
I don’t wear it anymore and hardly any of the guys still bring it. Oh, another thing today was that I had a
little conference with Hidaka-sensei after I had lunch. We talked about 2 things. First of all…which midterms (next week) that
I’d be taking. I really don’t know how
they can be having midterms. This
Thursday we will have been in school for only a month, I don’t know how it’s
the middle of any term, and the kids haven’t really learned anything yet! Well, I don’t care. We decided that the only ones I would try to
take would be the English ones.
Hidaka-sensei told me that originally, Saeki-san (dad) wanted me to take
all of them to see what grade I got…yeah…that sounds like him. I explained though that it was a waste of my
time and recycled paper. So, during the
other exams I’m just going to hang in the library and read a book or study
Japanese. Speaking of books! I got the book I ordered today in the
mail! Woohoo! Now I have something to read.
I only read one chapter so far and I already want to keep reading
hehehehe. Anyway, we also talked about
my classes. I talked with Hidaka-sensei
and Matsuki-sensei last week about this.
We decided that it’d probably be better for me to switch out of my
classes that I get ZERO out of. For
example…the classes that I don’t even know what class it is. I THINK a couple of those classes are
Industrial Book-keeping…and…something with an old balding man who mumbles and
scribbles things on the bored and then decorates all his notes that he writes
with long arrows. He constantly erases
things too and rewrites them in other places like he’s trying to make animation
up on the board. Oh! I’m also getting out of Japanese language
class (no…that’s not a class that teaches me Japanese…I don’t even have the slightest
clue about what is happening in that class).
So, I’m going to be switching into some classes with other homerooms and
other grades. I’m looking forward to
that because I’ll get to meet new people and I think my homeroom has gotten
used to me and they don’t really pay much special attention to me anymore. I’ll also be helping out in some other
English classes I think. I don’t mind
doing that at all because these kids need all the help they can get! Well, I’ll let you know how it goes. I need to go to sleep now. I wish I had some orange
juice….no….yes…..well….and….a Dr. Pepper….yeah….if there’s a spot…that would
hit it….
On a final note…I just went to brush my teeth. As I was looking in the mirror, I read the word “YMMOT” of the
t-shirt that my host father gave me. I
thought to myself, “Gosh…these poor people.
They really haven’t got a clue about English.” ….Then I realized I was
looking in the mirror…it said, “TOMMY.”
-Maikeru