dchtwelve

�I never laughed at you.�

Mike held Debbie in his arms as she buried her face in his chest and cuddled up next to him on the tiny hospital bed, wrapping her leg around him as she molded to his side. He stroked her hair that lay golden across her shoulders.

�You have no idea how much time I spent defending you to the people that my friends hung around with; and toward the end, even my friends backed away. When you would leave, I�d be so all alone� when you and�� Debbie sobbed softly into his chest, his heart was breaking for her pain, he hadn�t realized just how badly she had been hurt. She had always been so strong. Unbreakable. He felt her hand as it traced the out-line of the bandages that covered his chest under his shirt. �When you and Lisa were together in Hawaii, I found out from my mother. She was livid, she had thought you were so wonderful, and then, there I was, six-months pregnant with your second child and you were prancing on the beach with her. She told me someone had taken a picture, oh my God, of the two of you on the beach� I still can�t bear the thought of it. She sent me a copy� I have it to this day� It reminds me of why I hate you so much.� She began to cry harder. Mike pulled her closer still, hugging her tightly, in spite of the jabs of pain in his side; they were nothing compaired to the pain of her heart breaking, he felt that more sharply than any pain his body could dish out.

God what had he done to Debbie, and he was doing it again to Faith. Debbie was so strong, and she had been broken by his weakness, he wasn�t at all sure that Faith was as strong. Not strong enough to bear the site of his humanity slapped in front of her face.

�Mom��

�Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea how worried your father and I have been?�

�Mom, please, it�s been a long six weeks.� Faith leaned back on the couch in Lisa�s bright and cheerfully appointed living room, wishing she could take on the feeling in the of cheer that the room seemed to possess.

�You think it�s been a long six weeks for you? Your dad is beside himself worrying, we�ve paged� we�ve called your cell phone� It says your out of the area� Since when is Chicago out of the area? Where the hell have you been? The paper has been calling almost everyday to find out when you were coming back� I�m supposed to tell them, what? You�re off chasing some silly rock star, like a little kid?�

�I�m not chasing him any more momma.�

�Well, what the hell are you doing? When are you coming home?�

�I don�t know for sure.� Faith began to cry, she was so frustrated. She wanted to go home and curl up in her bed, feeling like a small child lost in a big world where comfort could be found in the waiting arms of her mother, or the familiar surroundings of her childhood room. And then, she wanted to stay. For Mike to come walzting through the door of Lisa�s stucco covered house like her prince in shinning armour and sweep her off her feet, beg her forgiveness. Could she ever forgive him? That was the question. If he asked, could she forgive him� It wouldn�t be worth staying if the answer was no.

Michael walked gingerly into the house with Debbie trailing behind, carrying an armfull of his belongings precariously balancing the computer and a bag full of clothes and stuff on one knee as she opened the door and pushed it wide enough for him to enter, grabbing the computer as it slid off the bag, catching it just as it was about to hit the ground.

Mike didn�t make a move to help her, instead he walked as quickly as he could to the phone.

�Lisa, put Faith on please.�

�Well, good morning to you too.�

Mike rolled his eyes and looked out past the living room, outside to see Paris giggling and running with Bozo trailing her right behind� that big old golden retriever loved those kids so much.

�Okay, okay, good morning.�

�Did you have a nice trip home?�

�Yeah, yeah, put��

�Did Debbie pick you up?�

�Yes. Lisa� Damn it, put��

�Do you know what she called me?�

�I can imagine� Lisa can I talk to��

�That was cruel. I�ve never done anything to her.�

Mike stopped for a second. Not saying the words that flashed through his mind� no need to be cruel, don�t hurt her, she hadn�t done anything to Debbie� he had.

�LISA, listen to me please�� Mike took a breath, shouting still hurt. �I�d like to talk to Faith.�

�Can�t�

�Why the hell not?�

�She ain�t here my dear.�

Michael closed his eyes, and prayed silently that he would not get the answer he knew in his mind was coming.

�Where is she then?�

�I dunno. She talked for a couple hours on the phone this morning, then picked up her things, thanked me, and left.�

�Why didn�t you stop her?�

�What am I supposed to do? Tie her up for God�s sake� Mike I tried� I still don�t know why I tried, but I tried. She�s gone. We talked for a few hours last night, and sweetie, I don�t think she�d have come back anyway.�

Faith slowly opened the little brown door that led to the living room of her parent�s one story farm house. She remembered how as a little girl, she had loved �Little House On The Prairie�, now after spending time in Michael�s huge mansion, her childhood home seemed tiny, little� comfortable. She plopped her luggage down by the couch and fell onto the worn upholstery with her head face down in the pillows. The last six weeks seemed like a dream to her� she hadn�t wanted to wake up, but now she was home and she wasn�t in �Kansas� anymore�

Mike sank to the floor by the desk, leaving the receiver dangle from it�s lifeless cord, the dial tone sounding an alarm of lonliness, and the tears came, desperate, ashamed, lonely, and Debbie turned and left.

Seated in her office in mid-town New York, Carmen Martine was startled by the figure that appeared before her.

�No appointment. That�s mighty bold. Even for you.�

�How have you been Carmen?�

�Well. I�d ask about you, but from looking at you, well, I�d be afraid to.�

Michael smiled wanly back at the green eyes that examined him from behind the studious glasses. For five days he had wandered about the empty house, feeling lost, avoiding Mona�s stares, then as if summond by some unseen force, decided it might be time to get back to business.

�Been a hard month.�

�Well, I hate to bring this up, but. Well, frankly, Mike, if you don�t get your rear back in the studio, Sony�s gonna start making noise in court.�

Mike�s sad eyes clouded and his frown deepened into a scowl.

�Can�t they just stop kickin me for once? Just for one God Damned minute, can�t they lay off the pressure.�

�Michael� can�t you see how reasonably patient we�ve been with you? It�s been almost 5 years since you�ve released anything.�

�And you BURIED that here.�

Carmen got up from behind the modestly appointed desk and walked about the small cluttered office. The tiny space and meager furnishings belied the truth and the power that this woman possessed as senior marketing Vice-president of Sony music.

�You know very well, my dear, that WE did not burry your album or your videos.�

�You didn�t push them. For Christ�s sake, if you had just pushed a little you woulda broken the barriers down.�

Let�s not start that argument again.� Carmen poured brown liquid into a cup and stood next to the window staring at the busy intersection below. People running about unaware of the meeting being held above them of two of the most powerful people in the music world. She glanced back at Mike who was still standing facing the desk, hands palm down on it�s top, not beaten but resigned, not bothering to follow her with his gaze. His eyes remained fixed on the chair behind the desk, he was still powerful. She had to remind herself not to underestimate his abilities, his mind, his power, in spite of the past years and the toll they had taken from him. Damn, what would he have been by now if it hadn�t been for that horror. She took a sip of the hot, black liquid and walked back towards the man by her desk, putting her hand on his shoulder, she felt him tense.

�How�s Brandon?�

�He�s fine.� She watched his responses trying to judge his emotions. That was always much harder than most people would ever guess it to be.

�Does he still hate me?� For the first time since she had walked out from behind her desk he turned to meet her gaze. His eyes questioning, begging.

�Of course, he�s a typical teenager, my dear, rebellious.� She knew her excuse was not going to fool him, this was nothing new. �How about lunch. You look like you haven�t eatten in weeks.�

�I�m not really in the mood to go out and battle the public right now, Carmen. Thanks anyway.�

�How about a nice home cooked dinner then?�

His eyebrows raised. Did he look that damn pathetic, that he needed her sympathy.

�Yes, you do.�

How did she always manage to read his mind. She had always been able to do that, from the moment their lives had crossed on an ill-fated path in the early 80�s, she had been an eager, young, assistant to a nobody back then, but she had plans and was determined. Mike had always loved her determination, her drive, that same energy moved her physically as well as strategically, she was a spirited woman. Their relationship had been doomed almost from the beginning, but he had fallen in love with the vibrant young assistant who more often than not, got assigned to his projects. Hummmmm, she had planned that well too, hitching her wagon to his rising star. Luckily for her, she had un-hitched that wagon when his star had fallen, tumbling, out of control. He knew it had been him who had derailed their relationship�long before the fall. Conflicts of his rising fame and her desire for a family life he couldn�t provide when Thriller was at full tilt. His penchant for groupies didn�t help his case much either, and when she prefered to stay at home, he was happy to find himself company on the road. What a fool he had been to trade her love for the fickle winds of fame.

�Will Brandon be there?�

�Well� Probably��

�You sure you want that tension?� He paused, trying to decide in his mind. �I�m not sure I do.�

�MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON!� Carmen scolded the man who now stood straight up in front of her, swelling against her anger, prepared to defend his position. �You owe him the understanding for his feelings of betrayal. You owe him compasion.�

�I know. I just wish he could understand why.�

�How could he, he was just a baby and his father turned his back on him.� Carmen put her hands on the shoulders in front of her, feeling them shake as emotion took over. �He may never understand. It�s awfully hard for me to, you didn�t just deny him, my love, you denied me too. You screamed to the entire world that he was not your son, and I was not your lover.� She barely kept the smile at the irony of it all hidden, if it hadn�t been for the pain it had caused Brandon through the years, she could easily forgive the man in front of her. She did know why he did it. Acceptable? Hell no. Understandable? Hell yes. Besides, his rejection had given her the strength to push her way up to the top. That and a good healthy dose of guilt from him. He had paved the way for her and she knew it. So did a lot of people at Sony, hence the wretched little office. But she�d wait� when power returned to it�s rightful thrown as the king� she�d get her magnificient office too� Hell yeah. �Now, about dinner.�

�Not tonight, but thanks.�

�Suit yourself, but it�s either eat, or work. You need to do both, but if you won�t eat, I can�t make you. But I can make you work.�

�Really?� he smiled at her statement. As if she could chain him to a microphone and make the music come out the way you could punch a keyboard and make the words type out. �You think locking me in a studio would solve everything?�

�Mike, don�t make the legal department do it�s job, please. Your contract clearly states�.�

�Don�t start quoting me the riot act, I know what it says. You fools up here think that it�s just something you can program.�

�Stop, please. Now we�ve heard what you have, it�s wonderful, and we�re all excited about it. You tell me you don�t have it all recorded, that you don�t just have to take the time to get in cleaned up.. and mixed just right, Michael Jackson style�� she smiled at him, knowing he would appreciate her acknowledgment of his personal style of perfection. �You tell me that and I�ll back off, but I know you won�t lie to me, and I know it�s all recorded. Frankly my dear, that you�re letting your personal life interfere with your work, well that�s kind of a low blow to me. You see, how can WE forgive you for putting us off for your career, when you go and put your career off for someone else?�

His brown eyes filled up and suddenly she feared for all the world that the man who had always been so strong willed and unbendable as steel, was going to break in two right in front of her.

�You left him? Without something concrete? Without pictures? Where was your head girl?�

Faith sat in the little homey restaurant across from Ellen, her publisher, editor, and best friend for most of her adult life. She had thought that the one person she could confide in would have been Ellen, and hoped for a characteristically objective opinion on what she should do, instead, the money showed in the flaming eyes in front of her.

�My God girl, this could set you on the map for life�. You�ve fucked a goldmine, don�t be stupid enough to bury it.�