It�s another beautiful summer day. One of the maids, Gwen Twenty, has been sent into Mizzenwood to get some things in the shop. Gwen always walks through the fields, and she has a map to guide her to the town, but the map is made out of chocolate. It always melts on hot days, and the map changes. But the sun has an effect on her brain too. She thinks that the landscape around her changes as the map changes. The river of white chocolate is constantly moving. The roads float away. The hills sink into the earth.

The cook often sends Gwen into town with the chocolate map, and it�s really just to get rid of her for the day, if they want a bit of peace. She�ll spend the whole day wandering around the fields, but she always finds her way home in the evening.

Dotter finds Tessie outside the glasshouse and he says to her, �I was just talking to the cook and she asked me to find one of the maids, Gwen Twenty. She�s needed back in the house for some reason. The cook gave me this parasol and told me to keep Gwen�s head in the shade � apparently it�s the only way I�ll convince her to return to the house. She says that I�d find her somewhere in the fields, but I have no idea where to look. I was wondering if you could help me?�

�Yeah, I know where to look anyway.�

Dotter and Tessie walk through the fields and Dotter talks about clouds, but he doesn�t have much to say. There isn�t a cloud in the sky to help him today. He keeps looking around the sky for anything that resembles a cloud, but there�s just a perfect dome of blue above.

But as they�re walking down a hill, he does notice something moving across the sky. A hot air balloon appears over the trees in the woods, and it�s coming in their direction. As it gets closer, Tessie recognises the dog who�s flying it. �Oh no! It�s Hessy!�

Hessy is leaning over the side of the basket. Dotter and Tessie run away down the hill, but the balloon is getting nearer. But then Dotter remembers the parasol. He opens it and holds it over Tessie, just as the balloon flies overhead. Hessy doesn�t bother dropping when she sees the parasol. After the balloon passes by, the dog seems to lose control of it. Hessy falls from the basket and lands in a stream, and the balloon goes on, rising into the sky. This time it�s Dotter who gets the kiss and the �thank you� from Tessie.

They find Gwen and take her back to the house. Dotter goes into the drawing room for a bit of a rest before lunch, but there�s no chance of getting any peace there. All of the sisters are there, along with Inny and Alan. Jimmy and Dan are there too. A bit of the plaster in the ceiling fell down again, and Reg called them in to fix it.

When Dotter sees the crowd in the room he says, �I think I�ll sit down in the library for a while.�

�Not so fast,� Alan says. �We want a word with you. We want you to explain these.�

Alan empties an envelope onto the desk.

�What are they?� Dotter says.

�That�s what I just asked you. One of the maids found this envelope in your room. We just heard the story of how you rescued Tessie and all this makes sense. For instance, here we have a brochure for hot air balloon rental. You set up the whole thing. You thought that if you to saved Tessie she might fall in love with you, and run away with you. Hence these two plane tickets to Mexico.�

�But I��

�Don�t tell us that the tickets aren�t for you and Tessie. The maid also found this in your room.� Alan takes out a pie chart. �This is a chart of the shoes you�ll be wearing on a typical day with Tessie in Mexico. We couldn�t help noticing that a significant proportion of the day is devoted to your �sleeping with Tessie� shoes.�

�I�ve never seen that before in my life.�

�Don�t give us that. We�ve seen the way you�ve been hanging around Tessie all the time. And she�s noticed it too. But she�s happy with Dresscoat. She�s happy here. I�m afraid we�re going to have to ask you to leave, Mr. Gramargan.�

�I know it looks bad, but I really didn�t do it.�

�He�s right,� Reg says. Everyone looks at him. �He didn�t do it. I know who really did it. And I know who stole the money.�

�You mean, it wasn�t Thomas?� Hilda says.

�No. Thomas had nothing to do with the crime. I doubt he was even aware of it. I suspect he was drugged, and then photos were taken of him with the money and going through the window.�

�But who did it?�

�The person who did it is in this room. And I can prove it.� Reg goes over to the cat in the fireplace. He kneels down and says to her, �As you may be aware, someone in this room has recently required a considerable amount of money. And I�ve been reliably informed that the person in question has decided to spend the money on jam.�

The cat�s eyes widen at the mention of jam. She leaves the fireplace and walks around the couch. Everyone�s breath is held as they wait to see where she goes. Only Jimmy ignores her. He climbs his ladder and tries to get on with the job, but the cat goes towards him. She climbs the ladder after him and rubs off his legs.

�It was you,� Reg says to Jimmy.

�This is ridiculous. I�m being accused because a cat likes me. It�s stupid.�

�The cat witnessed the crime. It was you. You knew that the sisters and Alan would be out of the house for a while when they called to see you.�

�But how did he know who we were?� Abigail says. �We were in disguise. We were Kojack.�

�And Spock.�

�He must have seen through the disguise,� Reg says. �He had seen the money in the sideboard when he came to return the banana skin. And he used that opportunity to take it.�

�This is crazy,� Jimmy says.

�How do you explain these then?� Reg takes out photos of Jimmy in a new sports car, and dancing with five beautiful women in a nightclub.

�Y� see, I sold my old car, and I got a really good deal because��

�Shut up. You stole the money.�

�Okay, I stole it. But I only did it for someone else.�

�That�s right,� Reg says. He turns around to face the others. �And that person is here too. It was you.� He points at Inny.

�This is outrageous! I�m staying here as a guest and I�m accused of theft! I think it�s time I was going.�

�You arranged the whole thing. You promised Jimmy a share of the money if he could get it. It was you who sent Dotter. He�s not even a real detective.�

�I�ve never been so insulted in all my life. I�ve never stolen a penny.�

�You got Jimmy to take the photos of Thomas stealing the money, and then you sent Dotter here with the photos. He pretended that the cat took them. He said the cat had a Polaroid camera under its bed, but when we searched the fireplace last night, there was no sign of a camera.�

�I�ve never met this man before in my life.� Inny points at Dotter.

�You have. Because he�s your butler. When we went to visit you, you said that your butler was on holidays. And then I couldn�t help noticing that Dotter sometimes acted like a butler. For instance, he instinctively stands up every time he hears the bell. He was more of a butler than I ever was. You sent him here to pose as a detective so he could accuse Thomas of the theft, and you expected him back in a few days, but he fell in love with Tessie. He didn�t want to go back because he didn�t want to leave her, so you came here to bring him back. It was you who set up the incident with Hessy and the balloon, so Dotter would be forced to leave.�

�These accusations are outrageous,� Inny says. �I�ll be leaving this house as quickly as I can and as soon as I get home I�m calling my lawyer. I�ll let him��

�It�s all true,� Jimmy says. �She did get me to steal the money. She gave me twenty percent� Wait a minute, I gave her eighty percent!�

�Alright, I did it,� Inny says. �I asked him to take the money. I�m sorry. I know it was wrong, but� What am I saying? Wrong! I was conned out of a hundred grand! That money is rightfully mine!�

�Conned?� Hilda says. �What are you talking about?�

�That table thing was just a scam. The table couldn�t identify screws at all.�

�Of course it could. It�s been identifying screws for us for decades.�

�It�s all a trick.�

�That�s right,� Jimmy says. �It was really the robot who was identifying the screws.�

�Alan,� Ellen says, �is this true?�

�No no no. Of course not.�

�Then prove it,� Inny says. �I want to see another demonstration of the table. And this time you have to be outside the room.�

�This is ridiculous. I mean��

�I want proof.�

�But it�s� it�s�� Alan looks at Reg. He just shrugs his shoulders.

�Leave the room,� Inny says to Alan. �I want you to go outside in the garden where we can see you through the window.�

Alan has no choice but to leave. About a minute later he appears on the lawn in front of the window.

�Now ye can demonstrate the table,� Inny says.

Annabel goes over to the table. She takes the hand-drill from the box and makes a hole in the surface, and then she puts a screw in the hole with the screwdriver. She stands back and listens, but there�s just silence. Until a voice says �brass�.

�See! It does work.�

The sisters nod their heads, or shake their heads in disbelief at the idea that anyone could have doubted it. Everyone in the room looks out at Alan. He looks back in at them, wondering why they�re looking at him. He waves at them.

�I, I don�t know what to say,� Inny says. �I�m terribly sorry� Here, let me write out another cheque for the table. What was it? A hundred thousand?�

She writes out the cheque and hands it to Annabel, who looks down at it for a while and says, �I don�t know if we can take this. When you took the table the first time, we really missed it. I don�t know if we could part with it again.�

Inny doesn�t know if she could let them part with it either. She remembers the time it identified her as �Horsie Horsie�. She thinks about what Martha Blend would say if she heard that, and she says, �No, I think I might actually leave the table here. In this house. I might come to see it every now and then. But I think it would be happier in its home. It�s too settled here.�

Reg and Alan go into Mizzenwood and look all over the town for Thomas. They eventually find him working in a bar. They explain the situation to him. Alan apologises and asks him to come back. He thinks about it for a long time before finally agreeing to come back with them.

When they bring Thomas into the drawing where the sisters have been waiting for him, the emotion of the occasion seems to overwhelm him. He�s unable to say anything.

That night, after all the sisters have gone to bed, Alan and Reg look at the table in the drawing room.

�I�ve no idea how it worked,� Alan says. �It was always me who identified the screws in the past. Do you think the table might have been listening all these years? And learning from me?�

�It�s possible, I suppose.�

And then a voice says, �I said it.�

They stare at the table. Alan says, �Was that you, Mr. Table?�

�No, it�s me. Over here.�

The voice is coming from behind them, and it sounds a bit familiar too. They move towards the door and they both realise who it is. It�s the hinge.

�So you identified the screw,� Alan says to the hinge.

�Yeah, it was me alright.�

�But you can�t have seen the screw from over here,� Reg says. �Did you just take a guess at brass?�

�Well, all I really know is brass. In anything. Like the weather. Ask me what the weather is like and I�ll say brass. Other people seem to have different answers for it. Or geography. Everywhere is brass.�

�Count to three,� Reg says.

�Brass, brass, brass� Brass� Ah, brass��

�No, that�s enough.�

Reg starts laughing. He�s trying to say something, but he can�t talk for a while because of the laughter. �The screw� The screw that Annabel put in the table, that� it wasn�t brass at all� It was iron!�

Alan laughs too, and so does the hinge, but it doesn�t see anything funny.

Alan and Reg go up to the attic to look at the glowing lawn. They look down at the latest manoeuvres of the hedges, and Alan thinks of something.

�You know those photos of Thomas that Dotter claimed were taken by the cat?�

�Yeah.�

�Well, Jimmy must have taken the ones of Thomas taking the money and leaving through the window, but how did he get the ones of Thomas dancing with the women in a nightclub?�

�I don�t know. I suppose he must have taken Thomas away and brought him back again.�

They look down on the lawn, and a few minutes later they see someone moving through the garden to their left. It� a woman in a short black dress and Thomas is with her. Alan and Reg watch them go to the stables, and then the car disappears down the driveway, with Thomas on the roof.

�That must be what he spends his wages on,� Alan says.