i used to be really strict about the minor ingredients, now i've hung up my hang-ups and it's so much better this way. a little milk protein or even an occasional full-on cheese indulgence is not going to make or break anything. it also makes me feel like much less of a jerkass guest if someone serves something they thought was cool but it actually has a little dairy or whatever in it. does this make me a hypocrite? ah, whatevs.
1. make instant mashed potatoes
2. make instant veggie gravy
3. cook up a boca burger and crumble it up, or use veggie crumbles.
4. on a base of margarined toast (the shingle) put a few scoops of potatoes, then the burger (the shite) and the gravy (perhaps also the shite--and let's not dwell ever again on this comparison)
5. NOW EAT IT, YOU PANSY-ASS PIGS!!!!!
the title works twofold here. this dinner is ideal if 1. you are too depressed to get dressed and go grocery shopping or 2. you're in a personal Great Depression and have no money. i.e., this dish is both economical and can be made with items commonly found in your home!
and since they're often related, both meanings can apply at once!
1. make a big thing of pasta
2. meanwhile, cook up 2 boca burgers crumbled or a bag of veggie crumbles
3. throw in some chopped onions if you have, if not, no big whoop
4. but you must throw in loads of minced fresh garlic
5. dump in a big can or two smaller cans of tomato product. (ideally a paste and a sauce or canned tomatoes, but whatevs)
6. add lots of basil, oregano, and fresh crushed pepper, if you have it. if not, vitarroz pepper from the dollar store. it doesn't matter anyway, right depressed people?
7. let the flavors cook together as long as you can bear, but don't let it thicken too much. if you have red wine, splash some in the sauce and put the rest in your wine glass.
8. Now That's Italian! TM
you can't get much more white trash than this one. therefore, in the humble penny-pinching tradition of stretching out the meatballs or meatloaf with oatmeal, i bring you this recipe (more of a suggestion, really) fit for staining multiple wife-beaters and fueling much spousal abuse. or just lounging, bloated, in the stained wife beater.
1. make vegetarian chili using any one of the numerous recipes available anywhere.
2. add macaroni.
most vegan cheese products taste like wax and don't melt for shit. don't you miss quesadillas? i sure did, until one of my pals hepped me to the fact that you can just make em using the veggie soy cheese with the casein (milk protein). almost vegan, but not quite, and who cares!
1. spray pan w/cooking oil & place large tortilla on there on low flame. spoon on filling of your choice (cooked veggies, fake meat crumbles) on one half. put 2-3 slices of veggie cheese on top, and a bit of nutritional yeast if that's your thing. fold tortilla over and cook til soy cheese melts, turning very carefully midway.
3. let sit for a minute before cutting into 4 wedges. serve w/salsa & soy sour cream. Mexcellent.
usually when someone asks this, they don't want to know anyway, and are waiting for their turn to insert some remark about vegetarianism/veganism/animals/the food chain they haven't thought through or researched at all.
i don't know what all the suspicion is many people have about eating stuff that isn't filled with chemicals and hormones and crap, it should really be the opposite way around. but that's just me, the decidedly non-obese, non-allergic, healthy, yet "crazy" vegan talking.
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one more thing:
a lot has changed for the better in recent years, but vegetarian "meals" at weddings are the worst. as a rule you get limp steamed vegetables with nothing sauce. i like to call it the "boy in the bubble meal," food prepared for someone allergic to everything, especially flavor. and the facility still charges your hosts as much for putting the side dish in the middle of your plate as they would if they had given you a full meal. boo!
(hint: bring one of those sticky soy sauce packets from the chinese food place and get nice and bloatedly full with the magic of sodium.)