Text Box: Self-Control In this story I am 10 years old. My dad let me pick out a small pet a few days ago, and today I took it out to play with. In the palm of my hand crawls a baby gerbil. It moves freely in a curious fashion. As it walks, I feel its delicately small cold feet. Amid its exploration it nips at my hand inflicting inflammatory pain. The little guy aggravates me, but I don’t lash out. If I let out my anger on something so fragile I would easily kill it or break its bones, leaving it in agony. So I hold back retribution for the gerbils’ sake. It crawls around a little more and returns to the same spot it bit me at. It bites me again! I squeeze my fist and throw it against the wall without thinking. In shock and disbelief I go to it thinking it will be ok. From a distance it looks unconscious. I go pick it up hoping I will feel it breathing. Warm blood on its belly conveys the feeling of lost life as I notice its lifeless body strangely cold for having died so recently. Reality sets in and I understand, with a heavy weight in my throat, that a reaction I wasn’t disciplined enough to control killed my gerbil. My response of rage destroyed the gerbil chance to learn any better. Its life was snuffed out by my lack of control. I am like the gerbil in this story. I crawl around in God’s hand in a curious fashion, biting Him here and there. In His hand I am weak and fragile. I rely fully on God to control Himself or I would be killed / broken in agony. Where I would lack enough discipline if I were given a liability as big as God’s, I am thankful that He can control Himself. I’ve struggled with what it means to fear God; then with this idea I realized I am totally vulnerable. God has authority over my life like I had authority over the baby gerbil in this fictional story. As I study more it is frightening to learn how much we hurt God. I try to visualize myself in His position, I imagine myself loosing control and retaliating as people metaphorically and literally drove spikes through me. How can He cope with so much pain? What comforts Him so He can deal with the wounds? I’m very thankful that He values our life’s so much and for His self-control. Text Box:

 

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