Chapter 39

�Daddy NO!�

Ash was woken by a yell and looked across at Marcus, who was sat, bolt upright in bed, sweat pouring off his slight figure, breathing, heavy and panicked, all his papers scattered around him.

Everyone else had been woken, and was staring at Marcus, who gradually came to his senses, turning bright red through the tears streaming down his face. He swung his legs off his bed, �Sorry,� he muttered, glancing round at people as he stood up, �Must have fallen asleep.�

Grabbing his clothes off the floor he walked out of the room, and a few minutes later they heard a gurgle as the shower came to life.

�That, that didn�t sound good,� Dee whispered , �What time is it?�

Alex glanced at his watch, �Half five.�

�That�s insane,� Ash said, shocked at Marcus�s behaviour, �I watched him to see what time he went to sleep, he can�t have gone to sleep earlier than four!�

�Has he slept at all since he�s been here?� Eye�s wide, Raven barely peered from under the cover.

�Probably not,� Tor scowled, �What a freak.�

�Lets all go back to sleep guys,� Trying desperately not to draw attention to it, Art tried to get the kids to go back to sleep. �You�ll still have another hour or so, so back to sleep.�

Matt sighed softly, snuggling even closer to Eagle, �Baby, I�m scared.�

Eagle started to laugh softly, �You�re so cute now you�re gay.�

�What do you mean, �now I�m gay�? I�ve always been gay.� Matt slipped his arms around his boyfriends waste, �And I�ve always been in love with you.�

�Yes, well,� Eagle muttered sleepily, �I guess you�re sweeter now you�re out.�

�Anyone else feeling the need to throw up at that?� Seiji laughed from across the room.

�GUYS!� Art sighed exasperated, �Are you ever going to go back to sleep.�

For a few minutes, there was silence. Despite that fact that most of the time Art was considered one of them, he could do a very good teacher voice. Good enough to put fear into the hearts of anyone under eighteen. But the silence was broken by Ash, who sat up and glanced around the room, �Where�s Fergie?� he asked.

�Downstairs,� Tor muttered, �He also had a nightmare, so he�s gone downstairs to shove burning cigarettes into his arm.�

�And you aren�t with him why?� Seiji asked,

�Fuck you.� Tor sighed, staring at the ceiling, �You think we always have to be together, we�re twins, that�s what we do, never apart, joined at the bloody hip.�

�Foot actually,� Laughed Fergie from the doorway. �I love having Tor, he�s like my evil alter ego.�

�Yes, I love being the evil one.� Tor scowled at him.

�Sorry baby.� Fergie muttered, wandering over to his brother�s bed and sitting beside him, �I didn�t mean it, and you know it.�

�Whatever,� Tor rolled over to face the wall.

Fergie sighed, �High maintenance,� he mouthed at Mara, who giggled slightly. Fergie, still smiling slightly climbed into bed beside Tor. �Love you Torin,� he whispered in his brother�s ear.

Tor smiled, he gave in to his brother so easily, turning around he wrapped his arms around Fergie, �Love you too.�

�Good,� Fergie grinned, as he sat up, �I�m going outside,�

�Again? What for this time?�

Fergie shrugged, �Nothing much. Just want to go for a walk.� He swung his legs off the bed and stood up, turning around only to grin at his brother. He walked outside, still only wearing a pair of jeans, despite the fact that six o�clock on a November morning was absolutely freezing. For a while he stood, leaning against the wall of the boarding house, watching as his breath curled smoke like in front of him.

Marcus walked back into the dorm, towelling his hair dry, the bouncy curls returning to his dark hair. He looked around, �Where�s Fergie?� he asked Tor.

�Not here.� Tor muttered, being deliberately annoying,

�Yes, but where is he?� Marcus pressed,

�You�re sick you know, you have a nightmare, and still all you can think about is getting off with him.�

�Actually,� Marcus snapped, �I thought he was likely to be the only one who understood,� he spun around, tears in his eyes, to walk smack bang into Fergie.

Fergie looked at the boy, tears streaming down his face, and clues started to piece themselves together in his mind; Marcus�s comment in Maths God he�s hot when he�s angry; and the fear in Marcus�s eyes, just a brief flicker as Fergie had pushed him onto the bed, Marcus, sitting bolt upright in bed yelling Daddy, No!. Fergie sighed, a sad sigh and wrapped his arms around Marcus. �It�s alright little Marcus,� he whispered, �I�m here now.�

Marcus let out a gentle sob, burying his face in Fergie�s shoulder, �I, I��

�Shhhhh, It�s ok.� Fergie smiled gently, �You�re beautiful you know. You�re gorgeous, you�re so clever, you�re the best musician I know�� Fergie broke off as he saw Marcus gazing at him, smiling through his tears.

�His ego doesn�t need swelling anymore!� Nienna cried from across the room,

�Fuck off,� Fergie replied, with unusual venom, �You don�t understand.� Smiling at Marcus, he pushed the other boy back onto his bed, echoing what he had done the day before. He sat down beside Marcus this time, putting an arm around his shoulders.

Marcus sniffed, and leant his head on Fergie�s shoulder. �Your brother was right�� he said softly.

�What?�

�I am still thinking about screwing you.�

Fergie laughed, �That�s alright. Thinking is allowed. Doing? I�m not so sure.�

Marcus scowled slightly, �But you�re so damn fuckable.�

Eagle started to smile at that comment, it was such a great word. But then he felt Matt shifting slightly, and then the coolness of Matt�s tears on his skin. �Hey, Matty Baby. What�s the matter?�

Matt shrugged, �Don�t know,� he muttered, lying, he knew exactly what the matter was, �I, they didn�t come.� He sniffed.

�Aw sweetie,� Eagle sighed, �I know.� He held Matt even tighter than before, burying his lips into Matt�s skin. �I�m here though. And I know it�s not the same. But I think you�re the greatest guy on this earth, and you matter to me.�

Art sighed, very softly and got out of bed. Leaving the lower sixth to wonder why he had suddenly disappeared, he walked up the spiral staircase to the teacher�s floor. He knocked on Andi�s door.

�Come in,� she muttered sleepily, pulling the covers up to her chin.

�Andi!� Art sighed theatrically (why isn�t HE the drama teacher ey?) �My year are an emotional wreck, what am I going to do?� He frowned as he looked at her, �You�re naked under there, aren�t you.�

�Mmm hmm.� Andi blushed

�EW!� Art spun away, facing the door, �Put some clothes on woman! Now!�

Andi blushed and reached for her pajama�s which Marcus had neatly folded beside her bed before he left.

�I mean,� Art gabbled, thoroughly embarrassed, �I don�t want to be in a room with a naked woman! I mean, that�s just wrong! I think I might be scarred for life. I�m not that way inclined you know, play for the other team. I DON�T LIKE WOMEN!� He squealed.

�Art.� Andi laughed softly, putting a hand on his shoulder, �It�s ok Art. I�m dressed now.�

�Oh, Ok.� Art blushed bright red and turned back around. �Were you fucking Marcus?�

Andi nodded, �Uhuh, he�s addictive.�

�It�s, well mainly it�s Marcus who�s why I�m here. I mean, that and the rest of my year. Let�s start with Marcus, yeah?� Art completely offloaded his troubles onto his friend, �Marcus is a wreck. I don�t know why but he hasn�t slept since he got here, except for one hour last night, from which he woke up screaming �Daddy NO!� Which really doesn�t seem good, and now he�s just crying loads, only I�m not sure if that�s just an excuse to get a hug from Fergie. Fergie on the other hand, outwardly seems fine despite the fact he was raped only a few days ago. Physically he�s a mess, and I�m not sure how he�s coping, and he has this really unnerving habit of stubbing cigarettes out on his arm, which is just creepy. Tor�s getting really annoyed at this, I mean Tor is really stressed anyway, and I think he�s a bit shaken up by what David did, only Fergie�s been getting all the attention, and it seems like no-one cares about Tor, at all, which of course isn�t true. And then there�s Matt. Who�s been fine these past few days, madly in love, but I think the euphoria is now wearing off and he�s just crying about how his parents didn�t turn up. I noticed Alex�s mum didn�t come, which probably means she�s in hospital again, but he seems fine about that, which obviously isn�t good, because he�s probably falling apart inside, and, and��

Andi smiled faintly and wrapped her tiny arms around Art�s huge frame. �It�s ok Art, we can sort it out.�

�Don�t you mean I can sort it out, you�re too busy having sex.� Art muttered, angrily.

�How about you spend the whole of today, taking all the members of your class that need TLC out of lessons, and then you can have a chat with each one.�

�You�re really bright.� Art grinned, �And lastest of all can I take Seiji out of lessons?� He smirked, �I don�t think it�s right that you should get more sex than me.�

�Well you shouldn�t sleep in their dorm then, should you.� Andi laughed,

�One day Andi dear, you will learn that there is more to love than just sex.� Art preached wisely, making Andi crack up with laughter.

�Oh yes, great and wise Art,� She mocked,

�Shut up.� Art scowled, �Now if you don�t mind, I�m going back to bed, because it�s far to early in the morning to be up.� He left without another word, and went, for the first time in ages, back to his own room, collapsing onto the double bed. He lay there for a minute, before he sighed heavily to himself. �God I�m pathetic.� He scowled as he stood up. He half ran down the stairs and slipped back into the dorm. Stepping out of his jeans he climbed back into bed beside Seiji.

�Where have you been?� Seiji muttered sleepily.

Art blushed, �I tried to get to sleep, and then realised I couldn�t if you weren�t there.�

Art grabbed Marcus�s hand as he tried to leave to go to breakfast. �Can I talk to you for a while. Or will you die of hunger?�

Marcus grinned, �Sure.�

As soon as the rest of the year had left, Art, still holding Marcus by the hand, sat down on Seiji�s bed (Which he now thought of as his own) pulling Marcus to sitting beside him. �You need to sleep sometime.�

�Just let me carry on like this. It�s how I normally cope. I stay awake for as long as possible, and then crash for a while. It�s how I cope.�

�It�s not healthy. Maybe if you tried a few nights sleep, the nightmares might stop?�

Marcus laughed, and it surprised Art to hear such a bitter laugh coming from the normally over confident boy, �Art, I�ve been having the same dream every night since I was twelve. It�s not going anywhere.�

Art just put an arm around his Marcus�s shoulders. �Have you tried sleeping pills?�

Marcus furiously shook his head, �I don�t want to.�

�I think you ought to.�

Marcus scowled, �I could. Maybe not all the time.�

�At least during the week?� Art bargined,

�And then I do my own thing at the weekends, right?� Marcus laughed, �Which hopefully will include Fergie.�

Art scowled slightly, he did have a rather soft spot (or hard spot?!?) for Fergie, �Be gentle with him.�

Marcus smiled, almost wistfully, as he stood up, �I don�t think I could hurt him, even if I wanted to.�

�Breakfast.� Art ordered before Marcus could get too hung up on Fergie. Strange though it was, Art liked Fergie having a crush on him, and felt almost jealous that there was the possibility of someone else.

They sat in their familiar circle for PSHE, with Seiji sat on Art�s lap as usual. Eagle had joined them, as the upper sixth also had PSHE at that time, and Andi reckoned it was better to for him to be with a year who wouldn�t plot his murder every other second. He sat, grinning with his arms around Matt, who was sat on his lap.

�So!� Art laughed, �Looking forward to this terms PSHE?�

�No,� Ally groaned, �Scared I think is more the word.�

Art laughed again, �We need to think about what the P, the S, the H and the E, stand for. Personal Social and Health Education. Well�� He grinned, �There isn�t going to be much education, so we can cross that one off the list. We did social last term. Health is reserved for next term, and so this term its�� he sniggered slightly, �getting personal.�

Seiji rolled his eyes, �You ever serious about anything?� he sighed,

�Yup.� Art smiled soppily, �I�m serious about you love.� He laughed making Seiji retch. Art laughed and carried smoothly on with the lesson. �This term, we�re going to be working on a project similar to that you�re doing in Art. I want you to produce something, be it a picture, a piece of writing, music, drama, dance, anything you want, that you think really says YOU in capital letters.�

�Me too?� Eagle asked,

�Yes Eagle, you too, because we love you.�

After PSHE Art grabbed Matt by the hand, �Skip History.� He instructed, �I need a word with you. Yeah?�

Slightly nervous, Matt nodded.

Art laughed, �Don�t worry. I won�t touch you. I�m on my best behaviour.�

After break, Matt went and timidly knocked on Art�s bedroom door.

�Come in.� Art grinned as he opened the door, pushing Matt gently into an arm chair.

�Why am I here?�

�I just wanted to see if you�re ok?� Art sighed as he sat down, �You didn�t sound so happy this morning. And I guess you�re upset about your parents not coming.�

Matt nodded, �A bit yeah. But I didn�t really expect them to come anyway.� He smiled ruefully, �Mostly I�m upset about�� he trailed off slightly, �This is going to sound really stupid.�

Art smiled encouragingly, �I say a lot of stupid things. Most of the things I say are fairly dumb, so just be out with it.�

Matt laughed at Art�s unintentional pune. �That�s what it�s all about. I mean, being out is like the best thing that I�ve ever done, but�� he looked up at Art for the first time, �It�s all happening so fast. I�m not sure I�m ready for, well, for anything.� He blushed. �And I know Eagle will wait for infinity for me, but,� He started to go an even deeper crimson, �I mean, something I can�t make him wait for, that�s really harsh. He is only human after all.�

Art laughed, �I don�t think you need to worry about that.� He grinned, �Eagle will manage fine.� Besides he thought silently, If he�s really gagging for it, I can always help him out.

�It�s not just that,� Matt sniffed, tears readily approaching, �I just, I feel as if I�m growing up to fast. I mean, I�ve never even had a proper girlfriend, let alone a boyfriend!� He wiped away a tear, �And I know it�s really pathetic, but I�m scared me and Eagle will stop being friends.�

Art smiled gently, and softly ruffled Matt�s hair, �Can I tell you something?�

Matt nodded,

�The think I like most about being gay, is not being in love with a bloke.� He grinned, �I know all straight couples say that they�re each other�s best friends, but for a bloke your best mate has to be someone you can share a pint with. Someone you can stay up late at night watching filthy movies with. Someone you can watch sports with. Someone who wont tell you to do the washing up.� He laughed, �And that�s why I like being gay, cause you�re lover really is your best friend. I reckon you and Eagle are so perfectly suited, not because you�re a cute couple, but because you were best friends for so long before you came out.�

Matt grinned up at Art, �So you think it�ll work?�

Art nodded, �I may not know an awful lot about relationships,� he laughed, �I�ve only had about 3 serious boyfriends ever, so I�m not the all knowing. But I reckon you and Eagle are so perfect together, it�ll take a hell of a lot to split the two of you up.�

Matt smiled at him, �And, the,� he went bright red again, �The other thing, you don�t think he�ll mind do you?�

Art laughed softly, �Of course not. Eagle loves you, and trust me, if it�s someone you love, you�ll wait.�

As Matt stood up to go, he was shocked by the almost hurt look in Art�s eyes, �Did you have to wait ages for Seiji.�

To Matt�s surprise, this made Art laugh, �No, Seiji�s a slut and wanted it from the word go.�

As the door clicked shut behind Matt, Art turned to look out of the window. �You might not have to wait for sex,� he added to himself, �It might be something else. Three little words, for instance. But trust me, if you love him, you�ll wait for eternity.�

It was Fergie who Art asked to see next, and the minute the boy walked through the door, Art held out his arms, �Hug?�

Fergie smiled gratefully, and slipped his arms around Art�s waist, burying his face in the young man�s chest. �Thank you,� he muttered, but his words were mostly muffled by Art�s shirt.�

�How are you holding together?� Art asked,

Fergie looked up at him and smiled, �Alright.� He grinned, �I�m used to it really.�

�That�s not good.� Art said softly, as he sat down on his bed, pulling Fergie onto his lap.

Fergie shrugged, �I don�t really mind, because it�s for Frankie, and Kathy.� He frowned, �Mostly I think it�s for Tor.�

�Is that why Tor�s upset?� Art asked,

Fergie nodded, �David only screws me because I look like Tor.� He blushed, �He worships the ground that boy walks on.�

�That�s hard for you. And Tor.� Art frowned, �And pretty much everyone. That�s guy�s a bastard.�

Fergie grinned at his favourite teacher, �Yup. But it takes all kind to make a world. That�s what my granny used to say, when she was still talking to me.�

�She doesn�t talk to you now then?�

Fergie laughed, �She never liked me, because she thought Mam could cope with one child, but not two, and I was the second. And then when she found out I was gay she crossed me off the family tree.�

�Does anyone in your family like you?�

Fergie laughed, �Normally Tor does, but not so much at the moment. He hates David way more than I do.�

Art felt himself softly kissing the side of Fergie�s head, he couldn�t help himself. �When you�re dead,� he smiled gently, �I hope they make you a saint.�

Fergie laughed as he stood up, �That�s blasphemy you know.� He grinned at Art, �Mind you, most of my life is blasphemy, so I�m sure it won�t hurt.� As he put his hand on the door handle it turned seemingly of its own accord, and the door swung open to reveal Tor.

Art stared at the two of them, the doorframe marking the divide between them, looking like one was the mirror image of the other, although he wasn�t quite sure which should be the mirror. �Just the person I wanted to see.� He grinned friendlily, �Hello Tor.�

Tor scowled at him, and placed a gentle kiss on Fergie�s lips, �See you in a bit,� he whispered. �Miss you.�

Fergie smiled, and kissed his brother back, �Miss you too.�

Art pushed the door shut as Tor sat down. �Want to talk?�

Tor shook his head, and covered his face with his hands as his tears started to flow. Art just sat there watching, there was nothing he could do but sit there and watch the boy cry.

�I wish,� Tor muttered through the sobs, �I wish he wouldn�t be such a hero.�

�Fergie?� Art asked incredulously,

Tor nodded, �I wish he would admit sometimes, just occasionally, that he hurts. Instead of trying to be brave, and inside I know he�s falling apart.� He looked up at Art, �You know we could swap. I could have been him on Friday, but he wouldn�t let me. Millions of times David�s done that to him, and not once will he let it be me.�

�He loves you too much.� Art smiled gently, �That�s all.�

�I know.� Tor smiled through his tears, �And it is rather sweet, and I do love him too, but no-one else can see how much he bottles stuff up inside him.�

�Do you know I know exactly what you mean.� Art grinned, �Surprising though it is, I always feel exactly like that, when ever Seiji cuts himself up, which he does with terrifying regularity, I always feel so helpless, I know if he just talked to me about it, it might help, but he doesn�t he just hurts himself.�

Tor nodded in agreement, �That�s what I feel like when Fergie does that thing with the cigarettes, which I think is just downright creepy. Do you know he once confessed to me that he didn�t actually like smoking, he just like the feeling of the ends burning his skin.�

�Look at it in a positive way, at least he told you that.�

�Yeah, he always talks loads after we have sex.� Tor blushed bright red, when he realised what he�d just admitted, but seeing as he got no reaction from Art he just carried on. �Which is another bad thing, because he won�t talk because we haven�t in ages, what with the whole �sleeping in a dorm� thing.�

�Ah!� Art smiled, and stood up, �That is something I can help with. Finally.� He grinned, �I love problems I can solve.� He walked over to the vanity table in the corner of the room and took out a key from one of the drawers. He gave it to Tor.

�What�s this?�

Art opened the door and pointed to a door at the end of the corridor. �It�s an empty room, no-one uses it. It�s such a shame to waste a room,� he grinned wickedly at Tor, �You might as well use it.�

Tor grinned, normally he didn�t like Art, simply because Fergie did so much, but he�d found out that the albino actually could be nice occasionally. �Thanks.�

�You ok to go back to lessons now?� Art asked.

Tor nodded

�Can you send Alex to see me?�

�Sure thing.�

�And how did you know I wanted to see you?�

�Fergie told me.� Tor laughed at Art�s confused expression, �The power of the mind,� he laughed as he walked down the stairs.

A few minutes later Alex arrived, nervously knocking on the door.

�Hey,� Art grinned, �You ok?� He asked as he guided Alex to the chair.

Alex nodded, �Uh, sure�� he ventured, rather afraid.

�I meant about Friday, your mum wasn�t there was she?�

Alex shook his head, �No.� He glanced down at the floor, ashamed, �She tried to top herself again.�

�It�s not your fault you know.� Art said hurriedly, as he noticed Alex�s eyes filling with tears.

�It�s not that.� Alex looked up at them, �I should be feeling awful, my mum�s in hospital. But all I can think about is Raven. I�m disgusting.�

Art grinned, �Not disgusting mate, just in love.�

Seiji was last to come up to Art�s bedroom, not bothering to knock, he pushed the door open to see Art standing, staring out of the window. Silently Seiji walked across the room and slipped his arms around Art�s waist. �Hello Gorgeous.� He whispered softly in Art�s ear.

Art turned around to face him, �Heya.� He smiled, �And how are you?�

Seiji shrugged, �Still feeling a little shit after Friday, but I�ll get through it. Won�t I?�

�Can I help you?� Art asked, remembering his earlier conversation with Tor about feeling helpless. �Is there anything I can do to help you get through it.�

Seiji laughed, �Mind numbing sex would be rather good right now.�

Art raised his eyebrows, �That one I can do.� He walked across to the other side of the room and shut the door. �You sure?�

�Hell yeah.� Seiji walked across the room, letting his hands slide under Art�s shirt, �I want you.� He whispered.

Art smiled, well, they weren�t the three little words, but they were three little words nevertheless. He reached up and undid Seiji�s tie. �Then you shall have me. Well.� He snickered, �Technically I�m going to have you, but the thought�s there all the same.�

Seiji smiled, there would only be one person in the world who would joke right before sex, and it had to be Art. He reached for Art�s belt, feeling his teacher growing hard beneath his hands, �My my,� Seiji grinned, �Eager.�

Art blushed, �You�ve been pissed off with me, and in case you hadn�t noticed I�ve given up Eagle,� He grinned, �I need you right now.�

Seiji laughed and dropped to his knees, surprising Art, �Sorry for ignoring you,� he smiled up at Art, before expertly undoing Art�s zipper with his teeth.

Art started to go bright red, �Jesus Sei,� he muttered, �You�re hot.�

Seiji grinned as he slipped Art�s boxers out of the way. He gently kissed his lover�s quivering tip, before looking up. For a single second his eyes locked with Art�s, dark green locking with pale pink. Knowing each other, understanding each other, a moment, the calm before the storm.