Once upon a time on the world of miwwiwville there lived an evil sorcerer called miwwiw man. His real name was Languor Bibcock, which is such an obscenely random name that it has been forbidden to be mentioned under article five hundred and twenty one of the Trans-continental committee of headless mice. Coincidentally on this particular planet there was also a hero called Joey Jo Jo junior Shabadoo, he has a ancient prophesy about him of which no one can quite remember. He also has a duck called Joey's duck, this duck has mystical powers which everyone has also ceased to remember. The evil sorcerer miwwiw man cast a spell which made Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo's best friend think everything was obscene. Three years ago this Tuesday, Joey vowed that he would cure him because it was infinitely frustrating and ever so annoying to have a conversation with him. If you did happen to stray across such a thing it would go a little something like this, "So did you like that movie we saw on the weekend?", of which to he would reply "it was obscene". Now Joey was a very patient man but even heroes have their limits, so he decided he better stop watching re-runs of sponge bob square pants and take up his promise. He went home to his oblong house and stuffed the following essential adventuring tools into his over night carry bag, his favorite soft toy Pingu the bedtime penguin pal, a packet of stale half eaten tomato and basil pretzels, a novelty oversized stick, his trusty duck and a electric monkey. Read the rest of this epical story and have such questions answered as:
Who is Joey's best friend?
What is an electric monkey?
Is Pingu the bedtime penguin pal really the badass motherfucker that he has been made out to be?
These questions and many more will be answered...
right now.
The answer is no.
As Joey Jo Jo stepped out of his oblong house and into the bonechillingly warm mid arctic night, he thought that perhaps a few words of wisdom would be in order. So that when this moment was looked back upon by the grandchildren of the children of their cousins, dogs stepfather of the committee of headless mice they'd have some famous words to remember him by. But then again Joey also thought that politicians were your mildly interesting playtime pals that were fun to be with. "This is a great day for black people of all races.." he said out aloud to himself ignoring the odd stares his chimney was giving him, and strode off down the ivory footpath.
He had gotten about six kilometres down the path when it suddenly occurred to him that he hadn't the slightest clue where he was going or what he was going to do about it whenever he got to where he was going. He took all this on board then promptly dismissed it, before striding off down the same ivory footpath again. It wasn't until a further eight kilometres that he suddenly realized that he was holding his compass upside down, and the words 'made in china' didn't actually mean 'Joey's kidnapped friend this way' in some long forgotten obsolete language. After correcting that rather embarrassing and fluctuating mistake he headed off on what he hoped was north but was actually south on the compass. But by some strange coincidence the evil sorcerer miwwiw had tampered with Joey's compass and made the arrow point what was actually north for south and what was actually south for north, undoubtedly trying to fool Joey into going the wrong way. But what miwwiw didn't account for was Joey Jo Jo's incomprehensible lack of brains and intelligence. This was a man who's IQ was zero, and by some brain numbingly stunning strange coincidence zero is also the number that comes before one and after minus one.