Welcome to
the world of college academic expectations! Gone are the days when a
well-written summary of a novel or an accurate description of a historical
event earned a favorable evaluation from your teachers. Now they expect more
from you. The hallmark of a college education is the ability to think
critically, and the proof of this ability lies in your successful construction
of argumentative essays that stake out and support a position persuasively.
Fine--but what does that mean, exactly? How do you "stake out" a
position? What is a "thesis statement?"
*
Let's look at another
example. Suppose your literature professor hands out the following assignment
in a class on the American novel:
Write
an analysis of some aspect of Mark Twain's novel Huckleberry Finn.
"This will be
easy," you think. "I loved Huckleberry Finn!" You grab a pad of
paper and write:
Mark
Twain's Huckleberry Finn is a great American novel.
Why is this a weak thesis?
Think about what the reader would expect from the essay that follows: you will
most likely provide a general, appreciative summary of Twain's novel. But the
question did not ask you to summarize, it asked you to analyze. Your professor
is not interested in your opinion of the novel, which she probably shares, or
in your ability to retell its story, which she knows; instead, she wants you to
think about why it's such a great novel--what do Huck's adventures tell us
about life, about America, about coming of age, about race relations, etc.? First,
the question asks you to pick an aspect of the novel that you think is
important to its structure or meaning--for example, the role of storytelling,
the contrasting scenes between the shore and the river, the relationships
between adults and children, etc. Now you write:
In
Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain develops a contrast between life on the river and
life on the shore.
Here's a working thesis
with potential: you have highlighted an important aspect of the novel for
investigation. It's still not clear what your analysis will reveal. What
meaning does this contrast convey to the reader? Your reader is intrigued, but
is still thinking, "So what? What's the point of this contrast? What does
it signify?" You do not want the reader to have to figure out the answers
to these questions herself. But perhaps you are not sure yet, either. That's
fine--begin to work on comparing scenes from the book and see what you
discover. Freewrite, make lists, jot down Huck's
actions and reactions, etc. Eventually, you will be able to clarify for
yourself, and then for the reader, why this contrast matters. After examining
the evidence and considering your own insights, you confidently write:
Through
its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain's Huckleberry Finn suggests that
to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave
"civilized" society and go back to nature.
This final thesis statement
presents an interpretation of a literary work based on an analysis of its
content. Of course, for the essay itself to be successful, you must now present
evidence from the novel that will convince the reader of your interpretation.
When critiquing your first
draft and its working thesis, ask yourself the following:
BAD:
Drug abuse is a big problem.
BETTER:
Heroin, long regarded as a street drug, is fast becoming the drug of choice
among middle class urban professionals.
BAD: Herman Melville is the author of Moby Dick.
BETTER:
An increasing amount of historical evidence suggests that William Shakespeare
is not the original author of many of his most famous works.
BAD: The death penalty is wrong.
BETTER:
No civilized society can condone the death penalty if the moral question,
"Should the state punish an act by participating in that act?" is
raised.
BAD: The so-called "right to bear
arms" is a bunch of crap.
BETTER:
While revered as truth by many Americans for decades, the Constitutional
"right to bear arms" has in fact been misinterpreted.
BAD: Many people write personal letters on the
typewriter or word processor.
BETTER:
While many regard type-written personal letters as the end of common courtesy
as we know it, they actually preserve the ancient art of letter writing.
BAD: There is a lot of symbolism in The
Scarlet Letter.
BETTER:
As you can see, a thesis statement does not
have to be popular to be workable. It's not a good idea to try to prove
something with which you fundamentally disagree, but it can be done. The thing
to remember is that a thesis statement should TAKE A POSITION.
Developing a Thesis Statement
Thesis
and Thesis Statements
Everything you write should develop around a clear central thesis.
Your thesis is the backbone of your paper: the main point, the central idea. In
fact, if you ask yourself -- "What is the main point of this paper?"
-- your answer should resemble your essay's thesis statement. The thesis
statement focuses your central ideas into one or two sentences.
Developing a well-crafted thesis statement and revising that statement
as you write will help you discover what your essay is really about, what you
really want to say. The suggested guidelines below show how to evaluate and
refine your thesis statements, and thus how to best showcase your ideas.
>WHERE IS YOUR THESIS STATEMENT?
You should provide a thesis early in your essay -- paragraph #1, or in
longer essays #2 --in order to establish your position and give you reader a
sense of direction. Avoid burying a great thesis statement in the middle of a
paragraph or late in the paper.
>IS YOUR THESIS STATEMENT UNIFIED?
Choose one single focus for development. Don't split your energy between
two bulky topics.
ORIGINAL THESIS Queen Victoria set the tone of the
REVISED THESIS
ORIGINAL THESIS The United Nations
Organization has major weaknesses and cannot prevent a major war.
REVISED THESIS
The organization of the UN makes it incapable of
preventing a war between major powers.
ORIGINAL THESIS Printing has had a long
and complex history during which it has brought about social and cultural
reforms.
REVISED THESIS
The development of printing sparked a series of social
and cultural reforms.
Check your thesis: Are there two large statements connected loosely by a coordinate
conjunction (and, but, or, for, nor, so, yet)? Would a subordinate conjunction
help (through, although, because, since) to signal a relationship between the
two sentences? Or do the two imply a fuzzy unfocused thesis? -- if so, settle
on ONE single focus and then proceed with further development.
>IS YOUR THESIS STATEMENT RESTRICTED?
1. Your thesis statement should provide a restricted or limited focus
for your essay. Narrow the field of your discussion to a specific line
of reasoning/argumentation within a broad topic area.
2. Your thesis should be limited to what can be accomplished in the
specified number of pages. Shape your topic so that you can get straight to the
"meat" of it -- don't settle for three pages of just skimming the
surface.
3. The opposite of a focused, narrow, crisp thesis is a broad,
sprawling, superficial thesis. Compare this original thesis with three possible
revisions:
ORIGINAL THESIS There are serious objections to today's horror movies.
REVISED THESES
1) Because modern cinematic techniques have allowed filmmakers to get
more graphic, horror flicks have desensitized young American viewers to
violence.
2) The pornographic violence in "bloodbath" slasher movies degrades both men and women.
3) Today's slasher movies fail to deliver the
emotional catharsis that 1930s horror films did.
>IS YOUR THESIS STATEMENT CLEAR?
1. Avoid vague words such as "interesting,”
"negative," "exciting,” "unusual" and "difficult."
Avoid abstract words such as "society." These words tell the
reader next to nothing.
2. Unless you're writing a technical report, avoid technical language.
Always avoid jargon.
3. Check to see if you need to define your terms (”socialism,"
"conventional," "commercialism," "society"), and
then decide on the most appropriate place to do so.
4. Check and double-check the cause and effect relationships you set up,
and make sure all potential confusion is eliminated.
ORIGINAL Although the timber wolf is a timid
and gentle animal, it is being systematically exterminated. [if it's so timid
and gentle -- why is it being exterminated?]
REVISED Although the timber wolf is actually a timid and gentle animal, it is
being systematically exterminated because people wrongfully believe it to be a
fierce and cold-blooded killer.
>IS YOUR THESIS STATEMENT ANALYTIC?
The thesis statement should do more than merely announce the topic; it
must reveal what position you will take in relation to that topic, how you plan
to analyze/evaluate the subject or the issue. In short, instead of merely
stating a general fact or resorting to simplistic pro/con statement, you must
decide what it is you have to say.
1. Avoid merely announcing the topic; your original and specific
"angle" should be clear.
ORIGINAL In this paper, I will discuss the
relationship between fairy tales and early childhood.
REVISED Not just empty stories for kids, fairy tales shed light on the
psychology of young children.
2. Avoid making universal or pro/con judgments that oversimplify complex
issues.
ORIGINAL We must save the whales.
REVISED Because our planet's health may depend upon biological diversity, we
should save the whales
3. When you make a (subjective) judgment call, specify and justify your
reasoning.
ORIGINAL Socialism is the best form of
government for
REVISED If the government takes over industry in
4. Avoid merely reporting a fact. Go further in your ideas -- say more.
ORIGINAL
REVISED The many scandals of
5. Note that arriving at an analytical thesis doesn't happen magically.
Continue to revise as your essay and ideas develop.
1. Geoffrey Chaucer's The Miller's Tale is a bawdy story of
adultery and revenge.
2. Characters in Geoffrey Chaucer's The Miller's Tale subvert
certain audience expectations.
REVISED In Geoffrey Chaucer's The Miller's Tale, the sexual behaviors of
such characters as Alisoun, Nicholas, and Absolon subvert audience expectations raised by the courtly
love tradition in the The Knight's Tale.
>IS YOUR THESIS STATEMENT ORIGINAL & ENERGETIC?
1. Avoid, avoid, avoid generic arguments and formula statements. They
work well to get a rough draft started, but will easily bore a reader. Keep
revising until the thesis reflects your real ideas.
Compare the following:
ORIGINAL There are advantages and disadvantages to using statistics.
(a fill-in-the-blank formula)
REVISED
1) Careful manipulation of data allows a researcher to use statistics to
support any claim she desires.
2) In order to ensure accurate reporting, journalists must understand
the real significance of the statistics they report.
3) Because
advertisers consciously and unconsciously manipulate data,
every
consumer should learn how to evaluate statistical claims.
2. Avoid formula and generic words. Search for concrete subjects
and active verbs, revising as many "to be" verbs as possible. A few
suggestions below show how specific word choice sharpens and clarifies your
meaning.
ORIGINAL “Society is...” [who is this "society" and what exactly are
they doing?]
REVISED men and women will learn how to..., writers can generate..., television
addicts may chip away at..., American educators must decide..., taxpayers and
legislators alike can help fix. . .
ORIGINAL "the media"
REVISED the new breed of television reporters, advertisers, hard-hitting print
journalists, horror flicks, TV movies of the week, sitcoms, national public
radio, Top40 bop-til-you-drop. . .
ORIGINAL "is, are, was, to be" or "to do, to make"
REVISED any great action verb you can concoct: to generate, to demolish, to
batter, to revolt, to discover, to flip, to signify, to endure....
3. Use your own words in thesis statements, avoiding quotation. Crafting
an original, insightful, and memorable thesis makes a distinct impression on a
reader. You will lose credibility as a writer if you become only a mouthpiece
or a copyist; you will gain credibility by grabbing the reader with your own
ideas and words.
A well-crafted thesis statement reflects well-crafted ideas. It signals
a writer who has intelligence, commitment, and enthusiasm.