Sheama finds Croft's carcass up at Robertson Field and reports his death to security
March 2000:
During spring break Devon is mistaken for a naked woman and is dubbed TAP hence forth
A Pennsylvania congressman shows up at the pavilion trashed walking his two dogs, he then joins in on a rendition of the anthem
The Sig House gets free air conditioning and new parking mysteriously appears around campus
August 2000:
Miwa beats Deforest in 3k time trial with a time of 12:45
November 2000:
Bert eats his height in hotdogs
December 2000:
Anton is set loose in the Theta house, a door kicked down and used to mark gator territory
February 2001:
Ute stands in Brooks cafeteria with pants at his ankles and screams "Hey! come back and finish what you started!" as Rob Ahlin walks away.
March 2001:
For no reason at all Rubnads jumps a complete flight of stairs in Ravine and breaks his damn foot off
April 2001:
Two men disguised in full length shawls appear in the campus center and Brooks lawn playing the "Taliban Song" and "Sucka my Cock" at 12 am, they are quickly escorted away
Ute is cheated out of being crowned "Man of the Year" because the voting is rigged for Matee
June 2001:
Ute doubles his body weight within a month
October 2001:
Allegheny College becomes a TP free campus and Baldwin Hall's water supply is redirected to the French Creek
Bannister joins the XC house
November 2001:
Deforest and Miwa's plot is foiled during the greatest heist Wal-Mart has ever encountered
During the XC conference party Rob passes out in the bathtub in a pile of his own piss and vomit
December 2001:
Joe bongs half a bottle of whiskey
March 2002:
Wagner passes away on his 21st but is revived by the police
Betts meets Helen Keller
August 2002:
The Dude, Country and Delaney join the team
November 2002:
Devon fakes a stomach virus because he's too scared to run at nationals so the gators come in last
Delaney and Country pass out and wake up in jail, then find out they have stitches
Miwa rips fake drawer from cabinet
February 2003:
Miwa punches hole in upstairs bathroom
The library computer lab will never be the same
March 2003:
Joe is crowned fastest fatman in the conference
Joe throws chair through his own window, then patches it up with duck tape
Winter track party becomes the first to end with multiple men singing "Simple Man" completely naked
After 4 days in a row of binge drinking Joe is buried in the leaky septic tank at Jabor's Trailer Park
April 2003:
Donny makes his driver side door touch the front wheel of his car
Deuce joins the XC house, then after a week-long rampage of pissing and shitting everywhere in the house she hangs herself and Miwa is blamed
May 2003:
Weighing in at a deuce and half Lassaie clears opening height for the first time
Donny wins every running event in outdoor conferences
Hey! were's Meredith
Ute fails comp sci and doesn't graduate
The pavilion is cleared for a parking lot
June 2003:
Betts is lonely so drinks a bottle of wine and invites Keller over for the weekend
July 2003:
Donny conquers Andover, MA with a time of 15:46
August 2003:
Betts quits the team due to creative differences with coach
Monnot quits the team to be with Elf Princess
September 2003:
Haze Dawg drinks himself off the team