| *The Think Tank* |
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| So this is it...insight into my mind---SCARY!!! Some of these things are thoughts I've written and shared with other people...Other parts are things I've read along the way...and still more others are little things I write every now and then... |
| *Letters to Naomi My lesson for today (I am thinking of dispensing advice freely now) is that sometimes, we think very hard about the might have beens and the what ifs. So much that we forget other important things. Don't lose sight of what is important to you...but then, if what is important to you is what might have been, you owe it to yourself to find out the truths behind the what ifs. And if you have problems making a decision about something, think about what you would feel like when you're eighty years old. Would you regret the choices you've made then? I'm telling you, everything makes sense retrospectively...I think I am quite smart sometimes...who knows? Maybe I'm smart right this minute! Or...I could make no sense at all...teehee. ---August 07, 2002 Okay, my lesson for today: "George Washington's brother was the uncle of our country." teehee. Just kidding. Lesson for today: Thinking sucks? No, you already knew that. Well, let's see. I think my lesson for today will be somewhere along the lines of: One day, you might wake up and realized that life isn't all what you planned or thought it would be. Maybe there were choices you should have made or decisions you shouldn't have come upon. It's hard not to dwell on the past, or the future, or even what could have been happening. But if it doesn't make sense to you about where you are in your life, you can't just sit and wait for things to change...so they say. BUT (big but) maybe sometimes, time is all you need. In a little while, maybe you'll figure out all the answers you seek. Well, that was a sucky life lesson today. Sorry! Maybe I should try again? Life Lesson for today: Life doesn't always turn out the way you plan. But sometimes, that's not such a bad thing. Ooh! I know! I'm going to take a page out of Mac's book: "Oh well. Just don't make simple thing more complicated...you should do other way around... Complicate thing to simple thing. Simple thing to nothing. Wooo hooo...Life will be good." ---August 07, 2002 Memoir of the day: Hrmm...when I first started seeing Ryan, he used to tell me he thought I was soooo pretty. I couldn't understand that at all, because I was still chubby. To me, chubby did not equal pretty. (At least, my being chubby did not equal pretty) His friends thought I was pretty too. Everyday, Ryan told me I was pretty. Once he even told me, "every time I see you, every time I look at your picture, you seem to get prettier." I never really understood. Until one day, after Ryan had "broken up" with me, I was looking in the mirror. And I saw myself. Really saw myself. And for the first time, I think I saw what he saw. Because for the first time, I believed I was pretty. Victor Lin says that no matter how many times a person tells you something, it doesn't work unless YOU truly believe what you are hearing. He says that he could tell me I was pretty, and sweet, and nice until he was blue in the face, but if I didn't believe it, it wouldn't be any help. It wouldn't make me feel better at all. It's up to me. There are going to be times in your life when you question who you are and where you're going, who you've been and who you're going to be...and sometimes, you might not like it. You may think you need someone to reassure you, to make you feel better, but in the end, it's up to you to come up with your own answer...but I guess you knew that... So I guess I haven't figured out what today's life lesson will be...maybe I'll just settle for sending a big question mark out there into the world...Do you think you are what people see you as? I mean, wouldn't you be the person people see you as since it's the person they're seeing? But then again, that might not be true considering people think I'm smart, and confident, and sweet, and all this other stuff, only, I don't see myself as that...So wait..Are you who you think you are? Or are you really what others see you as? Which do you think it is? I guess that ties into what I was saying earlier...eh, I don't think I'm making much sense today. Oh well. Oooooh, I've got a good life lesson: "Ice cream can fix almost anything." Key word: ALMOST. ---August 09,2002 |
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