 |
|
 |
 |
 |
| WHAT EXACTLY IS A 'SAM?' |
| Well, to be honest with you, the answer to the question, "What is a Sam," will never truly be answered. The questions origin comes from this rather disturbing specimen shown in the pictures here. Seeing as there is no definition, it is my place as the all mighty Simonila to make one up. A Sam is a rare and delicate species of hermaphrodital turtle "Samus Maximus," that habituates itself in drier areas of the world. As shown in the picture to your right it has a rather pale complection and doesn't spend much time in the light of day. This 'special' creature is often found dwelling around the definition of a disfunctional family. Seeing as it surrounds itself with disfunction and darkness, it fits in well with the human croud. Sam's are seemingly good at acting, which lets her blend into her humanoid surroundings as your typical highschool slut. People would never |
| even think that it is actually a turtle! As it |
| seems, this creature has an unusually large amount of stupidness bumbling around in that rather small head it has. Such stupidness leads it to walk into walls and people, impairing its stability. As it also has the genes of a paracite, it takes the name of its current 'host' and moulds its name within its victim, ei: Samon, Samdrienne, etc. These 'hosts' are vital to the Sams survival. When a Sam attaches herself to a 'host' it takes part of that beings brain and adds the 'hosts' intellectual stimulant to its own, making it more normal to the general public. If the Sam did not have a host, it would be free to leash its pure 'Samness' upon people which would indefinetly lead it to be burned at the stake. Only such survivors have seen the rath of this 'Samness,' yet, these victims wish to remain nameless for odvious reasons. |
| The Sams eating habits are that of a study all on its own. The Sam is commonly recognized for eating blocks of Mozzarella cheese and drinking pure pickle juice. This rather revolting diet leaves the Sam in akward positions of health. When a Sam drinks her pickle juice, it leaves a rather strong aftershock, leaving the Sams face to mould into a certain look as shown in the picture above. With the eating of large quantities of cheese, the Sam becomes utterly constapated and after which meals is commonly found looking like the picture to your right. All in all, this is my upclose and personal study of a Sam. Further testing and studying shall proove that this creature is that of extreme oddity and individuality. This is my Sam... |
| Seeing as this is my Sam, and my study, I hereby forbade anyone else to carry on any studies as far as I have. This hereby states that this is MY SAM and if anyone touches it I'll become rather violent. Though it may have some extreme oddities and rather disturbing habits, this is my Samon and I love her. |