The Secret Diary Of Faramir
Day 1. We killed a bunch of crazy men. But hey, it was them who started it. They were trying 2 steal our beauty tips, and i would not give them 2 him. We also found Frodo and sam, and captured them cuz Sam was hitting on me. And im NOT Gay like him. God, does everbody in this world adore my looks?
Day 2. Broght Frodo and Sam 2 Henneth Aniun, or whatever. Sam kept trying 2 hit on me, but im not gay and im not a hobbit. God. Ugly dude came in 2 MY swimming pool, so i had 2 kick him out. Then i was throwing him out and he was grabbing somewhere else. My god. Rest of the day went fine, but i found out frodo as good as murdered my bro, i congratulated him. Now I only need Denothor out of the way and im steward. *cheers*
day 3. i kno i hav 2 let frodo and sam go so they can destroy saroun and i can b steward, but i dont want to. I mean, exept 4 sam, they hav been growning on me. We celebrated a bit more for the death of my bro, then i let them go. Im glad Sam is gone though, he had even tried sneaking into my bed. YUCK!!!!!!!!!
day 4. returned 2 Gondor 2 murder Denothor. But e sent me away AGAIN to the rammas, or what ever. Left with plans to murder him fresh in mind.
day 5. reached the rammas. Killed a bunch of ugly orcs, who again were trying to steal my beauty tips. After a long day of murdering i needed a back rub cuz i had a crick. My cousin, Reremir, gave me a back rub. I not just the back. GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!1 does ever1 hav feelings 4 me? and doesnt Reremir remember were cousins? DAMMIT!!!!!!! He's way into incest, unlike me. still not steward.
Day 6. I just got wounded. Im unconsious so im writing with my mind. I might Die! I musnt though cuz i still hav 2 b steward. *tears*
Day 7. Denothor tried 2 kill me. Luckily gandalf got there in time and saved the day. Also, i did not hav 2 murder denothor. HE COMITED SUICIDE!!!!!!!!!! IM STEWARD, IM STEWARD, HA HA HAHA HA.YAY!
Day 8. Aragorn came. I hav good news, bad news, and the not suprising type news.
Good news: Aragorn came and saved my life
Bad news:Aragorn is the true king(i wont b steward)*tears*
not suprising news: aragorn had an attraction 4 me 2. NO!!!! everyone is gay!!!!!!!
Day 9. Met Eoywen, the hottest woman on the planet. I think she likes me 2!
Day 10. Proposed 2 eoywen, she said yes!!!!!!!!!! YAY YAY YAY YAY! NOW NO ONE CAN HIT ON ME CUZ IM NOT SINGLE N E MORE!!! YAY!
Day 11. Aragorn sending me 2 the ithilien, i think its cuz he's mad im not single n e more, but Eoywen is soooooo sexy. she lost her virgnity 2day
Day12. Got married 2 eoywen, we went to b prince and princess of the ithilien, and lived happily ever after