Do Wimbledon commentators
have dirty minds?! Or is it just me? All that talk of
balls and tossing
lobs can start to sound rather dirty after a while. More than that,
sometimes the
commentators just don't make any sense at all! As hard as it must be
to fill the silence
with their thoughts for the viewers, I just wish sometimes it would
all sound a little
less dodgy. Actually, that's a lie. If it was any less dodgy then
I wouldn't have
a nice little collection of quotes which made me laugh
to put on this
page!
Wimbledon 1997:
.
“It doesn’t look
as fast in slow motion…..”
*
(My thought for
that year: The time to worry is when someone says, ‘New balls, please!’
and there’s a plastic surgeon in the audience…)
*
Wimbledon 1998:
*
“This is a completely
different ball game…”
*
Wimbledon 1999:
*
“Tim Henman’s
second serve has been exposed too often…”
*
“Ah, Henman just
asked the ball girl to put a towel up his end.”
*
“The forehand
at the moment’s singing nicely… singing beautiful songs….”
*
“Unless you serve
right down the middle, I’m going to ram a forehand down your throat…”
*
“Uh-oh… pigeons
are looming…”
*
“Henman’s spinning
balls into Courier’s Backhand”
*
“Henman did very
well digging that volley off his shoe tops…”
*
“It’s never a
mistake to toss up a lob on a windy day.”
*
“…Jamming Henman
in the body…”
*
“He knifed his
racket through the ball.”
*
“He has been digging
out balls from his ankle tops all day.”
*
“Henman’s showing
us…. lovely hands….”
*
“She’s looking
a little haggard these days, don’t you think?”
“I don’t know.
I was watching the tennis, Pam. It’s fascinating.”
*
On a rained-off
day, there is nothing scarier to see than Cliff Richard in the stadium…
*
“Would you believe
that on BBC1 at 17 minutes past 5 you could watch umbrella twirling
or umbrella lifting?!…Put
some cookery in it and you could have a whole series…..
I think I’ll patent
it now…. Redecorating the centre court….. with some gardening
with Charlie Dimmock
in the centre.”
*
“This is a different
Time Henman….”
*
“Sampras’s well-oiled
machinery isn’t what it was last year..”
*
Wimbledon 2000
*
“That’s the second
time that linesman’s got whacked today…”
*
“And on court
number one we have The Brit Pop, Popp, the German with a British passport…”
*
“…Really lifting
his serve up well, into his body, and it might have to become a one-hander…”
*
“Rafter’s serving….
Or at least he’s thinking about it…”
*
Things the audience like
applauding:
*
Pigeons
Announcements
to switch off mobile phones
Linesmen getting
hit
*
Final Wimbledon Thought:
*
Whose 'brilliant'
idea is it to bring back that same Diet Coke ad every year?! I thought
we'd gotten away
with it this year... no such luck!
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