Lithuania -
“My poor feet are freezing... and let the song thrush’s feet melt.”

Spain -
“I saw two shadows going out the door and I followed them as an accomplice to the darkness.”
“You have cut me in two halves.”
“I know the truth and I can trust and you have lied to me.”

Slovenia -
“I tremble in your eyes, I tremble in your palms.”
“I know the light is always here, we kiss each other in its shine.”

Turkey -
“I, all despair and no tear in the eye.”
“I, like a torch in my ear, like a lullaby.”
“Roses are raining.”
“We together clad in love.”
“I am a heart all in sores....”
“I WITH a torch in my ear...”

Poland -
“I don’t know who added text....”
“Hold me tight, turn the ice into snowflakes.”
“Give me a well of spring water.”

Cyprus -
“Your eyes have held two drops from the morning rain.”
“Touch the lotus blossom.....”

Portugal -
“say you don’t go out, I know you do, and I even know where you go to.”

Israel -
“Children..... aging..... one more year goes by....”
“It’s a celebration, I have it once a year....”
“I gotta reason to party, it’s my party, my party, da-da da-da.”

(I could swear there was also a line about washing in poo, but evidently not!)

Bosnia -
“There is no face that never wrinkled, there is no shoulder that will not be afraid.”
“We have, you have, a house, a house....”

Estonia -
“Silently glowing, moonbeams are sowing....”

TWC: Vikings, Russians, France.... (he meant ‘Croatians’!)

SM: Or Thor Docks (Orthodox)

TWC/SM: Friday, Friday, Four stabs there! (I have no idea what he meant!)

SM: You can’t DOWN (drown!) in the Dead Sea.

SM: We are going FRG nudity.... (FROM nudity!)

TWC: And of course Cain gave Abel the works and he turned into a sheep.... a sheep in the sky, apparently...

SM: Here are the winner of the contest.... (Grammar alert!)

SM: Prepending (Pretending!)

(The opening titles – very flashy! They probably spent a fortune creating those and Terry Wogan decided to yack all the way through them!)

Israel :

TWC – ‘The Spice Girls meet the Pet Shop Boys’

“If I don’t come it will end up in a big bang…..”
“All day long I watch disasters on the TV, they now have floods in Australia….”
“I want, I want, a cucumber…..” (The song should have won purely for having the nerve to put that line in!)

Netherlands:
TWC – ‘This frock is a kind of circus tent’

U.K.:
SM – ‘Had a great hit in 99ive’ (nineteen ninety five!)

Estonia:
“If you give me wings and reason why……”
(My mum’s comment: ‘They’ve given her a Red Bull, haven’t they??’)

France:
“And my eyes are in your eyes, Diving, Crossing an ocean….”
“We’ll get honey, a taste of orange, cinnamon….”

Romania:

TWC – ‘The return of the Mongolian Nose Flute’

“I simply blinked and let the light give me reasons to be good…..”
“When the moon is playing on and on and on with my heart…..”

(This bloke appeared to be singing through his nose!
Mum: ‘They’re singing in English as well!’
Me: ‘Only just…..’
Mum: ‘The only thing he hasn’t got in his song is wings at the moment…..’
There was also a man showing off, playing a blue guitar in the background!)

Malta:
SM – ‘A malt ease cross’ (Maltese cross)

Norway:

“I lost my mind and Popsicle”
“Take me spinning round the moon…”

Russia:

Now I wait in the cold, and this is getting old…”

Belgium:

“Under the wrath of time that is waiting for 2000 years…”
“The wish to live will remain enamelled”
“If square one is devoid of any love…”

Cyprus:

TWC – ‘It’s Vanessa Feltz in a wig!
(Really intellectual lyrics in this one – “Hey-yeah”, “Na-na-na”)

Iceland:

TWC – ‘He’s got a tattoo in his armpit!’
(The general household opinion of the people who sang it – the woman looks like Kate Thornton and the man looks like Eddie Izzard!)
SM – ‘That’s one of the best socks in it’ (Songs!!!)

(TWC as the two presenters came on…. ‘Oh good, it’s THOSE two again…’)

Spain:

“One look and I become a rainbow dancer…”

Denmark:

(Best SM of the night!) ‘The next one’s two old boys from Ben mark…’ (Denmark!)
(The song's title: 'Fly on the WINGS of love'… what IS it with wings this year??)

“Reaching for stars above…” (‘Oh no! It’s Team Rocket!)

(Highlights for us included the over exuberant backing singers who were waving their arms about – ‘They look like they’re going to take off in a minute!’ – and when one of the singers suddenly gave a funny laugh for no reason!)

Germany:

(I voted for this one!!! In my opinion it was fantastic!)

“Oh my God, he is real! Put your hands together for the amazing….”
“That what was there was so unclear now tell me please what do you have there….”
“And if that was a mat or a flat….”
(The twinkly suit when the stage went dark….)
“Watch this!” – followed by all the ladies removing their tops to reveal shimmery bras!

Switzerland:

“The telephone hasn’t rung….”
“I feel like a little wave on the ocean, turned blue coz of love...”
“What is life, where is life? A thorn in my heart that hurts me…”

Croatia:

TWC – ‘The man with the longest hair in the contest… and keep an eye out for the Elephant Man in the background…’

“To protect me when the angels fall…”
(My dad’s theory about the ‘elephant man’which was someone draped in a kind of curtain with a... long stick being waved about... – ‘I think he’s changing his swimmers under there…’)

Sweden:

“I’ll be the king of the land and the sea”
“Let me be the native son”
(My mum’s comment: ‘There’s bound to be wings in this one!’
My comment when the camera shot changed suddenly to one of the ceiling – ‘I think the camera man just fell over!’)

Macedonia:

(In my opinion - The WORST entry!)
“I love you 100%…”

Finland:

(Now, this woman tried to bribe everyone to vote for her entry by naming as many European countries as possible in the song!)
“It’s the place where you live that makes you feel at home…” (Puke puke!)

Latvia:
(My other favourite!)

SM – ‘He’s a bit of Ann a teeny-bopper icon’

“Tonight I know I will get there, by plane or bus to my star….”
(My mum’s comment – ‘He looks like he’s there already – look at his EYES!….. he’s got an uncontrollable leg, too….. The legs are off again! He’s got FLARES on!!!’)
“In the snow of my summer will show…”
“Be my runaway bride!”

Turkey:

SM – ‘computer lit ratd’ (Computer literate!)
“Cry for the song that was playing round and round”

Ireland:

“I lit a candle for a voice I thought I heard…”
“Celebrate the new millennium of love, where our footprints leave a harvest for our children…” – YUCK!

Austria:
(One of the women looked a bit like Mandy Dingle from Emmerdale with straight hair!)

THE VOTING:

I called to vote for Germany and Terry Wogan’s voice was on the automated message, VERY loudly. It scared the hell out of me!

SM -  ‘art east’ (Artist!)
SM - ‘Tofpt’ (Tonight!)
SM - ‘Charmotte’ (Charlotte)
SM - ‘Island stay here’ (I’LL stay here!)