Mood Changes
(This entry was edited by usagi on 07-02-01 @ 12:33 am EDT)
This morning I woke up feeling quite content. I peeled off the satin sheet off my body and let the air coming from the fan dry off my sweat. this feeling feels good always did. Someone cut the grass outside I can smell the freshly cut grass coming from outside. I miss living in the suburbs everyone cut their grass every Saturday. so I could look forward to that smell. But living in the ghetto things I took for granted before I wish I had now. How did i end up here u ask? well its simple really grandmother sold her house no more back yard no more front lawn no more running thru sprinklers or riding a bike without fearing getting hit by a car. house gone had to move. we moved to a decent neighborhood it wasn't the ghetto it wasn't the subburbs.it was in between. we had a nice house then sold that one too. parents split. No, it didn't bother me a bit I hated my dad. ill get more into him another time. The only thing I hate about them breaking up was the moving part. my dad went to move on to the suburbs again and IM stuck in the ghetto. With my Mom her new boyfriend whose cheating on her and my wild teenage mother sibling. What a fucking life. Now IM here and what can i do? thought i had finally found a job i can live with then they say oh we don't need you anymore so they lay me off. now IM broke no work bored all day. but luckily my mother doesn't give a shit about anything. she doesn't bug me about getting a job. every 6 months we have that talk but it only lasts 10 mins which basically consists of her screaming at me and me screaming back. I tell her if she would only act like my mother I would treat her that way. Life fucking sucks. so back to the air hitting my body. I was happy this morning had plans on going out my friend was coming over we were going to the movies. at least i thought. he finally comes by only to tell me we only have an hour and a half to hang out cause his Mom needs to borrow his car for the day. so we end up driving to Wendy's then to blockbuster so i can buy my a couple of flicks to add to my growing collection of movies. I purchased the six sense and high fidelity I should have purchased the book of shadows blair witch 2. I don't give a shit what people say I liked that movie. he took me home I watched my flicks. They ended and then what by 9pm I was bored nothing to do. no friends on my online buddy list, no friends home. I'm left with absolutely nothing to do. another night has gone and I still have no clue what I want to do with my life. I never understood why it was so important to know. Oh yes teacher I want to be a doctor, or a firefighter when I grow up. I loved to do everything and everything seemed to love me. i used to think everything i set my mind to i could accomplish until i woke up and smelled reality. well enough rambling for to night there's always tomorrow
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