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| My Dominant Nature Life with a Twist |
| Topping does not qualify as domination.
Dual floggers on the belt and a regal name are just a charade if dominant tendencies are not a core component of your inherent character. Dominance has to come from within and be expressed through character, attitude, actions, and most importantly, be accepted by your partner. Huffing and puffing and acting in an imperious, regal or just plain rude manner does not a dominant make. As with many things, actions speak louder than words... A quick definition of a few words will help this make sense: Dominant:having authority or influence.Dominate:to control or govern, to be the most important of a particular set of people.Domineering:acting arrogantly or tyrannically.Within a group of people, there will be those that are dominant by virtue of their position, and there will be those that are dominant as a result of their natural leadership abilities and confidence. A person that tries to dominate (control, influence or assume leadership of) a group by domineering (bullying, acting in an arrogant or condescending manner) over the other members of the group will be tolerated to a point and almost certainly deposed of in a timely manner. You can�t bully your way into being a dominant. A dominant certainly possesses natural leadership abilities and a genuine desire to lead; in the BDSM community, without one, the other will not in itself be cause for the manifestation of dominant choices and behaviors. Leadership in itself is a complicated subject, but the traits of a successful leader can be shown in terms of how a dominant behaves and acts: A Dominant is in complete control of them selves.A Dominant accepts responsibility.A Dominant does not compromise the trust that has been placed in them.A Dominant never places a submissive in jeopardy.A Dominant is a supportive partner and confidante in times of distress and hardship.A Dominant can easily differentiate between reality and fantasy.A Dominant never lifts a hand in anger.A Dominant in blue jeans and sneakers is still a dominant. Leather, PVC and chain are just material objects.There is no secret Dominant Council that sits in judgment and announces that an applicant has been accepted as a dominant. There are no hoops to jump through and no formal qualifications to be dominant. Proclaiming that one is a Dom or Domme and adopting a scene title such as Lord, Lady, Mistress or Master does not make one a Dom or Domme, nor does it raise entitlement to an elevation in status, additional respect or deferential treatment from anyone. Although I could be quite accurately classified as a dominant top with sadistic tendencies, I do prefer to be known as an individual and respected for my character and personality, not for the role that people need to classify me by. |
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