Properly applied candle wax can be no more stimulating than a brisk spanking and considerably less so than whipping. The secrets are choosing the right candles and letting the wax cool by letting it fall a distance before it hits the skin.
Most novices, attempting their first waxing, are likely to go out and buy expensive candles. Unfortunately, these are precisely the wrong candles to use. Expensive candles are, largely without exception, made from beeswax. This is because it is easier to mold into exotic shapes and burns for a long time. Unfortunately, the reason a beeswax candle lasts for a long time is that it has a melting point considerably higher than the cheaper paraffin. The stimulation caused by melted beeswax striking the skin is very likely to exceed a person's ability to transmute it into pleasure. This, in turn, can lead to a truncated session and general unhappiness all around. The best candles to begin with are the cheapest: the ugly white votive candles sold for chaffing dishes and such or standard Jewish Sabbath candles. I recommend that you test the temperature of any candle before using it on your partner by letting it drip from various heights onto the skin on the underside of your forearm. Unless you know the various intensities, you will be unable to judge precisely how far away to hold the candles. In your first waxing session with your partner, it works easiest and best if you have him or her firmly tied down. This is because the stimulation provided by the hot wax can inspire considerable thrashing around. However, once your partner is familiar with it, you can generally forgo bonds.
Generally, you should begin dripping the wax at a height of three feet, slowly working downward as you feel your partner going into that transcendental state. The final height depends on where you want your partner and what you are planning for the rest of the session. Also, keep a bowl of ice cubes handy. They come in handy for chilling down a bit of wax that was too hot, and they are handy for some erotic techniques I'll describe later.
Dripping can be done in several ways. The candle can be held horizontal and rotated by the fingers so that the top is melted evenly and the drips are fairly regular. To speed up the dripping, you can lower the lit end so the flame is flowing over the wax. To get better control of the timing of the drips, you can tip the candle, drop a bit of wax and then return it to an upright position until you want to drop a bit more wax. Splashing is more shocking. You allow a pool of wax to build up in the candle and then dash it on the submissive's body. Because of the unexpectedness of the action and because the larger quantity of wax holds heat better, this is much more stimulating. Another way to splash is to use a brandy warmer, one of those little gadgets that holds a brandy glass above a small alcohol lamp. Simply take some wax; the flakes you remove from your partner at the end of a session are fine. (Recycling can be fun.) Put the wax in a brandy glass and let it sit over the flame until the wax is melted. You can then slowly dribble the melted wax or dash the contents all at once. WARNING: test the temperature of the wax with a finger before using it; the alcohol flame can raise the temperature of the wax considerably above the melting point. Also, a pool of wax will not cool anywhere near as fast as single drops. If it does not run off as a thin sheet, spread it around with your fingers or use an ice cube to cool it down. If one candle is good, aren't more better? This is particularly effective with different colored candles in each cup. Some people like to spin the candelabrum so the wax literally flies off the candles. Of course, this makes a major league mess and often results in you getting as completely waxed as your partner. But it is spectacular. With a little common sense, the entire body is an appropriate target. Obviously, open sores, eyes and vulnerable places like that are off limits, but more than one man has watched in pleasurable horror as his mistress has converted his cock into a surreal wax sculpture.
Colored candles burn hotter and can contain dyes that can irritate your partner's skin. For this reason, I do not recommend the use of them during an initiation to waxing. Later on, however, you may want to try dropping a few small drops of different colored candel wax on your partner's skin. Once you see how their skin reacts to each color, you can adjust accordingly and remove the candels that caused irritation. Colored candles also allow the artist in you to come forth. It is possible to produce very attractive designs using your partner as a canvas.
Avoid dripless candles. They contain chemicals that are very likely to irritate skin.
D&S is a study in contrasts. This is nowhere more appropriate than a waxing scene. There is no reason why you have to limit yourself to hot wax. Drop by the kitchen for a refreshing drink and pick up a glassful of ice cubes while you are there. There are a host of ways to combine fire and ice. The simplest is to alternate touches: nipple, cold; neck, hot; stomach, cold; armpit, hot. Particularly if your partner is blindfolded, it is amusing to randomly vary the kinds of stimulation. It keeps them guessing.
Another approach is to use both on the same spot. For example, a section of skin is chilled for a few seconds with the ice cube and then receives a splash of hot wax. After a while, your partner may be surprised to discover that he or she can no longer distinguish between hot and cold. It's quite a sensation. Most waxing is done with your partner laying down. That affords the maximum of available targets and the easiest application. However, sometimes this may not be possible or aesthetic. A vertical body calls for some variations in technique.
First, and obvious, is to use or create horizontal surfaces on which to drip the wax. Some are natural, breasts and cocks come immediately to mind, but don't forget feet and shoulders. If a male has allowed himself to become so out of shape as to develop a potbelly, this an obvious time to make him regret his lack of exercise. The head can be bent forward or back to put the neck in an appropriate position for waxing, and legs and arms can be brought out to be horizontalas well. One danger should be noted here. You should keep a close eye on what is above your candle flame. I was present when a careless mistress badly burned a submissive's stomach while she was waxing his cock. True, his protruding stomach was most unattractive, but the injury was unintentional, an indefensible error for a dominant.
Vertical bodies are also appropriate for the splashing technique noted earlier. However, you should exercise care that the forward, toward your partner, motion is as smooth as possible. Jerking when you begin your 'toss' is likely to splash wax on you or to waste it on the floor. The jerk should come as the candle stops its forward motion to that the liquid wax is projected toward your partner with skill and accuracy.
There are a wealth of ways to remove wax. One is simply to allow your partner to wear the wax. Of course, your partner can be set to removing his or her wax, but I feel this is declining an opportunity for you to get in a bit of additional provocative stimulation. It can, however, be visually amusing, particularly when they are forced to remove significant amounts of body hair along with the wax. While it is superfluous when your partner is removing the wax, the wax should be allowed to cool completely before you, yourself begin to remove it. This makes removal easier. You can, of course, pick the wax off with your fingers. This method is particularly alluring when done by a female dominant with long, attractive fingernails. Other dominants attempt to whip off the flakes of wax off their partner's skin. My preference is for a large, sharp knife. Watching your partner's widened eyes following the shiny steel sliding over their skin while the flakes of wax are removed, can be a most delightful experience.
There are two pre-waxing exercises that can make wax removal much easier. The most erotic of the two is shaving. Most people have fine hairs over most of the body, not to mention the not-so-fine collection at several of the most logical targets for waxing. When these hairs are trapped by the cooling wax, it becomes quite difficult and time consuming to remove the result.
Another approach that makes wax removal a snap is using plastic wrap. Ordinary kitchen plastic wrap or the industrial strength product conduct heat and cold quite efficiently and provides a surface which the wax will not cling to. Prior to waxing, you can elect to "mummify" or you can simply put the plastic firmly over the sections to be waxed. In most cases, the plastic wrap goes on quite tightly and sticks very well. Unfortunately, this is not true in the case of the genitalia. Both cocks, balls, and pussies are so irregular and, often, so hairy that the plastic wrap cannot find a smooth surface on which to stick. This problem can be remedied by taping both ends of the plastic. Some people use masking tape. I have found that the clear plastic tape sold in hardware and stationary stores for sealing boxes is better. Because it comes in three-inch wide rolls, there is plenty of adhesive surface to distribute between the plastic wrap and the skin. It also bonds quite effectively to skin. Have your partner lie on his or her back; attach one end of the plastic wrap to their stomach; have them roll over; pull the plastic tight and attach the other end to their back. Not only will the heat or cold be transmitted directly to your partner's skin through the tightly drawn plastic wrap, the sight of the 'shrink wrapped meat' is an appropriate topic for light banter.
Wax removal consists of simply removing the plastic wrap. The wax comes right off with it.