(As if there weren't enough already)
I can barely stand when his lips touch my skin,
When his body heat radiates through me.
Lying so close but beyond so many barriers.
Trapped by rules I never made,
But embrace with a whole and accepting heart.
Sometimes I can�t bear the fever.
It makes me twitch and burn with an indescribable ache.
A small warm place that yearns in pain.
But can�t be sated.
Breathe deep and slow, my demon.
Calm your fire and beg no more.
I will not surrender to your torments,
No matter how my flesh singes and throbs.
I�ll just enjoy the sweet warmth of his arms,
The love in his kisses,
And the adoration in his eyes.
I keep the tiger in its cage.
Be right.
Family, stability, a career...
I wonder when my lust for the sun died.
The days when anything was possible are gone.
Reality has taught me that life requires careful planning.
Spontaneity is an illusion.
I don�t know how to get where I�m going.
Small things threaten to strip away all I may build.
The variables are too numerous to count,
So I can�t count on anything.
Anyone.
A small voice inside me wants me to cry,
To let the pressure implode my will.
How can I cope with problems unseen?
Can I be expected to fight invisible demons?
An apprehension grips me.
A sinking in my heart.
There�s a terrible beast waiting to swallow my dreams,
My loved ones,
My life.
I am powerless to resist.
My only hope is that it cannot track me,
That it will not find me�
I live in fear.
I can�t help it,
Can�t fight it
And I lie helplessly in an abyss of terror
Of things I have no power to change,
And have no way to know.
Ignorant, I fight to swim against the tide,
Reach the end with some sense of accomplishment.
But with everyday that passes,
Nothing ever floats my way.
No inkling of understanding ever graces me.
And with every decent of the sun,
I only feel more lost than ever before.