Back to Chapter 4: Touch the Untouched

Standard disclaimers apply (see Chapter 1).

What ravages of spirit
Conjured this temptuous rage
Created you a monster
Broken by the rules of love
And fate has lead you through it
You do what you have to do

Ron and Draco were sitting on the porch the next day when Remus Lupin walked up the drive. Draco tried to stand up and return inside when Ron placed a hand firmly to his arm.

�Speak with him,� Ron said softly, giving Draco a pleading look and his arm a slight squeeze.

Draco stared at him a moment, then gave a defeated sigh and plopped back down. �Oh, all right.�

�Hello Ron, Draco,� Lupin greeted warmly.

�Hi, Lupin,� Ron answered, smiling. Noticing Lupin looking at Draco and Draco looking awkwardly at the dirt, Ron decided to allow them their privacy. �Well, I�ll just leave you to it, then.�

Ron returned to his room, and sitting in bed, tried to read one of his Quidditch magazines, but soon realised he was reading the same few sentences over and over. He exhaled noisily. He knew it was silly, but he couldn�t help but feel slightly jealous of Lupin monopolising Draco�s time.

Ron gave up trying to read and dropped the magazine on the bed. Getting up and approaching the window, he looked over the grounds of the Burrow. In the distance, he could just see Draco and Lupin standing by the pond. Draco was hugging himself, arms tightly wound around his chest as though for protection. Ron saw Lupin hesitantly setting his hand on Draco�s shoulder and bit his lip. He wanted to be the one to comfort Draco if he decided to confide in anyone.

Ron wrenched his eyes from the sight, and returning to his bed, flopped down and covered his eyes with his arm.

A little over two weeks later, Draco was gone. He was to spend the last week of July at Hogwarts. Draco was rather tight-lipped about the trip, so Ron let it go for the time being. As soon as he departed by Portkey, however, Ron immediately asked his father for more information. Arthur told his son that Draco had to speak with the Headmaster and his Head of House, possibly about the dark artefacts and activities taking place at Malfoy Manor that he may have witnessed. Ron didn�t see why they would need an entire week devoted to such discussions, but as it wasn�t his decision, he dealt with the deprivation of his friend as best he could.

With Harry�s birthday coming up soon, Ron flooed to Diagon Alley with his mother late one morning during the week to pick up a birthday gift. While Ron was sad he couldn�t see Harry for safety reasons and Harry couldn�t come over to the Burrow because Draco�s presence was still to be kept under wraps, he found he was more depressed by lacking Draco�s companionship, which had become a constant form of pleasure and amusement over past month.

Walking through the streets of Diagon Alley, the only thing he wished was for the two of them to be able to explore the shops together. Unfortunately, even if Draco was available to join him, his parents and the Headmaster would no doubt deem such an outing too dangerous, so perhaps it was better Draco was spending the week at Hogwarts.

A glint of emerald green caught the corner of Ron�s eye. Stopping in his tracks, he turned towards the window of a shop to which he had never given more than a cursory glance. Taking a closer look at the item in question, Ron was immediately reminded of Draco. It would suit him perfectly. But, do guys give other guys this sort of thing? Well, he shrugged, I�ll just be the first, then, if that�s the case. It�s not often for me to be the first to do much of anything, after all.

Noticing the cost, Ron sighed. Luckily, he had saved a good portion of his birthday money, which he initially planned to save for snacks�chocolate frogs and the like�during the next school year. But that wasn�t important. This was. So, nodding to himself, he entered the shop and made the purchase.

The sound of heavy, unsteady breathing graced his ear, his own shuddering exhalations matching that of his partner. A sharp nose nuzzled his cheek before that face slanted over his, allowing their lips to brush slightly before increasing the pressure.

Without hesitation, he kissed the marks, allowing his lips to glide over the salty skin of his lover�s neck and along the hairline scar on his jaw, said lover growling appreciatively in response�

Ron breathed a �Bloody hell� as he awakened, the last pieces of the puzzle fitting together seamlessly in his mind, though he had to admit he knew the truth long before he ever allowed himself to acknowledge it. He knew he could be a little dense like that, at times.

Throwing off the covers, he went to the open window and watched the sky, for once giving all his attention to the moon above. The blue moon. The full moon. Just like that of the night Draco arrived at the Burrow.

No. Not Draco, Ron thought, closing his eyes in grief. But he could not deny the truth.

The truth which explained Draco's lengthy trip to Hogwarts, Snape�s recent comings-and-goings for his doses, the scratch marks from claws on his face, and the visions of a future moonlit excursion through the Forest and its aftermath. The truth that also explained why Remus Lupin was so insistent on speaking with Draco. And Ron was grateful they did speak. Perhaps through acquainting himself with Lupin, Draco would eventually come to accept all that has happened. One only had to observe the quiet dignity with which Lupin accepted and lived with his fate in order to realise there was more to Remus Lupin than his unfortunate condition. He was a good man.

Draco, too, was a good man. So, Ron would stand by him. Whether Draco ever planned to share his secret or not, he would be there. Wherever fate would lead them.

Draco returned exhausted and paler than usual. He looked defeated and disillusioned. Ron wasn�t sure how to approach him, so gave him a wide berth for a few days as he recovered�always letting Draco know, however, that he was around if and when he was ready to speak.

Draco had taken to sitting by the pond, staring for hours at the water. Late one afternoon, Ron joined him as he sat, legs bent, arms crossed over his knees. Ron dropped down next to him, stretching out his own legs, crossing his ankles, and leaned back on his hands. Shoulders touching, together they watched the gently lapping water.

�I always wanted to be just like my father. He could do no wrong,� Draco began, breaking the silence. �But I can�t even pretend that�s true now. I refused to join the Dark Lord, and I was punished�by my own father.� He gave a bitter laugh. �I now know there is a world of difference between seeing what Crucio does to someone and actually experiencing it yourself.�

He paused, fingers rubbing his neck for a moment. �It was the first time I realised the handiness of Muggle methods, especially when one needs the element of surprise. I kneed him in the groin,� he said, glancing at Ron with a humourless smile. �It looked like it rather hurt. I only hope he�s unable to produce any more heirs. He was incapacitated, naturally, so I was able to escape. Now, I can never go back.�

�If you could go back, would you?� Ron asked quietly. He noticed Draco did not mention any unusual encounters while escaping.

�No, I wouldn�t. Not knowing what I know now about�everything. I think I do miss my mother, though,� he added softly. �She never helped me all that much, but at least I wasn�t severely wounded by her indifference.�

Saddened, Ron slowly allowed his left arm to stretch a bit behind Draco�s back, giving what subtle comfort he thought Draco would accept.

�Why did you refuse to serve the snakey git?� Ron asked, his curiosity overtaking him.

�Malfoys should never have to bow and scrape to anyone, least of all a�snakey git less human than a wer�� Draco broke off. �Anyway, I don�t grovel. It would get my robes dirty, and you know how vain I am.

�And how could I forget the pleasure of being forced to socialise with people like Macnair and Crabbe & Goyle, Srs.? I�d rather not be counted amongst that scum,� he said, sniffing disdainfully.

Then Draco sighed, and after a moment, leaned back slightly against Ron�s arm. Ron tried to calm his heartbeat, worried that Draco could hear its wild palpitations.

They continued to sit until the sun faded behind the trees. �It�s getting late. We should be heading back,� Ron said, standing, and then holding out his hand to Draco.

After a moment�s consideration, Draco took the offered hand, and Ron pulled him up. They stood nearly chest-to-chest, and Draco�s eyes scanned over Ron�s freckled face before meeting his eyes with an intense expression. Ron, lost in the grey eyes that were not quite as cold as they once were, wondered what Draco saw when he looked at him like that.

A voice from the house pulled them from their shared trance. The call was for dinner, and the moment was lost. Draco gave a slow nod as if coming to some conclusion before giving Ron a slight upturn of his lips and leading the way back to the Burrow.

Author�s Note: Conveniently enough, there actually was a blue moon on July 30, 1996.
Song lyrics: �Do What You Have To Do,� Sarah McLachlan

Chapter 6: Love the Unloved