So you want to be a slave: (The Realities)
by miria hunter

I decided to write this article because I have seen so many submissives 
come into the lifestyle expecting everything to be dream-like and perfect. 
I don't wish to ruin anyone's dreams, or turn them from the activity, but 
what I wish to do is to explain how things really are. Being a slave can 
be, and is for me, a wonderful life. It's everything I wanted it to be. It 
is also more than I ever expected, and had someone explained the realities 
to me prior to my decision, it would have made my transition so much 
easier. For the purpose of this article, I am addressing issues related to 
being a 24/7 slave. These comments are from my viewpoint, which is that of 
a female slave with a male Master. By no means do I wish to exclude Domme's 
or male slaves. For them, I cannot comment from personal experience. This 
is just my view from a real-time experience.

First, there are a few things you need to discover for and about yourself. 
Do you wish to be in this type relationship 24/7? Perhaps you only wish to 
be in it during the scenes. Maybe you want to role-play at only during 
certain times. There are many ways this activity can be done, but you have 
to figure out what is right for you.

Second, you need to learn to be honest with yourself. Figure out what you 
will and will not do, and what is a "maybe". Search inside yourself for 
what you really want, and when you find it, be honest to anyone you talk 
to. Don't agree to something long-term that you know you will not be able 
accomplish. Ask yourself some hard questions. The rest of this article will 
give you aspects to contemplate so you can base your decisions on reality, 
and not someone else's dreams of how it should be.

Are you prepared to surrender 100% control of your life to someone else? 
24/7 slaves do this. Role-playing would mean entering into this 
relationship only for the time agreed upon that the Master would have the 
total control. Once the scene is over, everything returns to normal.

Do you enjoy country music? Maybe you love Rock and Roll. Consider this. 
The Master who's collar you will eventually wear, may only like classical 
or another type of music that you don't enjoy. Are you prepared to give up 
those selections and only listen to His music? This type sacrifice can 
apply to many other things you currently enjoy. For myself, I love old love 
songs of any type, and my Master is into Hard Rock. Because of His 
preferences, I rarely get to listen to my songs. But, when I am a good 
girl, at times, He does permit me to listen to my choice of music, as long 
as I get my assigned tasks and chores done. Note, I said, "permitted to". 
Something as simple as listening to the radio is a reward for me. It is not 
a given that you will be permitted to enjoy even this little pleasure 
whenever you wish. These limitations can apply to many areas of your life 
such as TV, choices of food or friends, just about anywhere anything!
Is there a certain style of clothes you love? Certain colors and scents you 
wouldn't be caught without? If your Master doesn't approve of them, you may 
be wearing a totally different style with colors you never would have 
dreamed of. He may lay your clothes out for you every morning. Are you 
prepared to abide happily by His choices? If He asked you to wear something 
very skimpy to someplace simple like the grocery store, could you do this 
without hesitation? I am lucky in the fact that my Master lets me chose my 
own clothes most of the time. But at anytime, should He decide that He 
wants me to wear something else, I am to change immediately. Trust me, He 
does exercise this right. I have learned to always ask Him what He would 
like me to wear if we are going someplace special.

Are you prepared to change your hairstyle, length, or color to please your 
Master? All of these will belong to Him once you accept your collar as will 
everything else that once belonged to you. You will no longer own anything. 
From the time you take His collar, everything will be His. It will no 
longer be "your" car or "your" clothes, but "His", on loan to you as He 
sees fit. If He should so choose, you will not be permitted to wear clothes 
at all. This will be HIS choice, not yours. Remember, you will have given 
up all rights to make these choices for yourself.

You have a favorite chair, or a certain way you like to sit or walk? Your 
Master will decide whether you sit on furniture or on the floor. He will 
have the say if you are to cross your legs, or sit with them spread 
wide-open. You will have to ask permission to even climb into bed, or sit 
on a chair. Most slaves are allowed a cushion on the floor that they do not 
need permission to sit upon, but very little else. You will even need 
permission to eat at the table with your Master.

It's been a long hard day at work. You get home and want nothing more than 
to relax in a tub and go to bed early. Well, you won't be able to. Being 
tired, ill, or just in a bad mood does not excuse you from your required 
tasks. You are still required to do them: prepare His meal, and go to bed 
when HE tells you to. Retiring for bed usually occurs at a set time, even 
if you are not ready to go. There will not be an "I am too tired" or "I 
don't feel well": nothing of the kind. Unless your Master has excused you 
from your tasks and chores, you will remain responsible for making sure His 
needs and wants are filled: no matter what. It is your job to inform your 
Master of your physical health status. One of your main jobs will be to 
take care of and protect, His possessions. You being are the most prized 
one He owns. As long as you let your Master know how you are feeling, He 
will make sure that your tasks will be appropriate to your capabilities.

Many come into this lifestyle looking to be used sexually, to service their 
Master at His whim. They never consider other aspects. The main part of 
being a slave is to be of service to your Master, and not to be serviced 
for yourself. However, being readily available to Him at ALL times is also 
an unspoken expectation. The old excuse "not tonight dear, I have a 
headache" doesn't work in a D/s relationship. In order to provide Him 
pleasure, you must also express to Him the pleasure of the moment for you 
as well. NEVER make your Master feel this is a chore to you: something you 
would rather not do, but will only because you have to. If your Master 
tells you to do something, it will not be up to you to question Him. You 
will be required to respond with no questions asked. At a later time (if 
this is permitted in your relationship), you may ask Him for permission to 
speak on an equal level. If He gives permission, this will be your 
opportunity to ask your questions. However, it is important to ask in a way 
so as not to question His authority, but at the same time to satisfy your 
curiosity.

Do you feel being a slave is to be coerced: forced into servitude? Do you 
think you couldn't do this unless you were? Then think again. Slaves enter 
into this relationship of their own free will. This is not the day of 
forced slavery; it is a matter of choice. YOURS! You are the one who will 
decide to give over your power to your Master. You will be doing this, not 
because you are forced to obey, but because you need to. Yes, during the 
course of your relationship there will be times you will be forced to do 
something, but it will never be something that goes against who you are. 
Your Master may feel obeying this command will help you to grow into the 
best person you can be, or will help you break out of an inhibition you have.

How is your temper? Are you quick to fly off-of-the-handle when you are 
upset? Or are you laid back, accepting anything and everything, and then go 
off to sulk because your feelings were hurt? A Master does not wish to have 
a doormat for a slave nor does He desire to be told how things should be. 
Learning when and how to say things will become very important in your 
relationship. If you do not tell your Master when something is bothering 
you, then you have no right whatsoever to become upset. However wonderful 
and omnipotent He may seem, He is not a mind reader: unless you tell Him, 
He won't know. The key, as I said a moment ago, is in how you tell Him.

Your self-discipline is very important in this relationship. Do you tend to 
put things off until the last possible moment? You won't be able to do this 
when you are owned. There will be chores and tasks your Master will assign 
that He expects to be done in a timely fashion set by Him, not by you. Your 
Master's wants and needs will be put before your own. Self-discipline is 
similar to self-control. Your ability to follow complete assignments made 
by your Master will be very important. As a slave, you will need to be able 
to control your own actions well enough to be able to remain within the 
boundaries set for you by Him. If He says you can't do something, simply, 
you can't. Doing it anyway, and not telling Him doesn't make it right. In 
the case of a Master/slave relationship, what you don't know CAN hurt you, 
as well as the relationship you have worked so hard to build. Even a simple 
"white lie" can destroy the trust so necessary to really establish this 
type relationship.

As to wants and needs of your own: do you know the difference between the 
two? If not, I strongly recommend you figure them out before entering into 
servitude. Sometimes the two are hard to distinguish, but it will become 
important that you do so. Your Master will ensure all your "needs" are 
taken care of, but the "wants" will be His to allow or not, as He sees fit. 
Needs are the necessities of life that are required in order for us to 
remain mentally and physically healthy. They allow us to grow emotionally 
and spiritually. If you can survive without something, then it is a want. 
Wants are usually given as a reward for good behavior.

In order to be a slave, there will be many things you have to learn to 
accept within yourself and adapt to. Your primary purpose in life will be 
to see to your Masters pleasure (both mentally and physically) in any 
manner He should desire. In order to do this, you will have to learn your 
Master well. Find out what pleases and displeases Him. By this, I do not 
mean just sexually. You will learn that sex is but a small part of your 
relationship. Learn to anticipate His every need and desire without being 
pushy. His needs and desires will encompass intellectual stimulation, 
physical pleasure, emotional support, and many other things unique to Him. 
Remember - physical does not equal sexual. Physical pleasure may include, 
but is not limited to, touch, favorite foods, textures, clothing, and 
colors as examples. It will be your job to make sure His physical pleasures 
are met in every way. Think of the five senses, and make His environment 
pleasing to all of them. Never forget - the most pleasing thing in His 
environment should be you.

As His slave, it will be up to you to figure out what pleases your Master. 
He should not have to ask constantly for the basic things - you should have 
learned them. If His glass is empty, quietly and unobtrusively refill it. 
Remember, you are doing this for His pleasure not your own. Just because He 
does not notice and praise you doesn't mean you are doing it wrong. Look at 
His smile. Is He comfortable? If He looks happy and content, then you have 
done well, and should bask in His content. Always remember that you do this 
for Him and not for your own satisfaction. Your happiness should come from 
serving Him and His being happy.

As I said in the beginning of this article, I am not trying to scare you 
away from the world of D/s. My goal is to make sure that, when you enter 
our lifestyle, you do so with your eyes wide open, fully knowing what to 
expect. The road will not be an easy one. You will have to re-learn much of 
what you once took for granted: things you just did without thinking, like 
simply sitting in a chair. These are habits we never even think about 
anymore. That is, until we find a Master.

Everything else you learned before reading this article is probably true. 
Being a slave is a wonderful life: one where you are taken care of. Most 
decisions are out of your hands and in those of your Masters. But, many 
choices will still be left up to you. Most Masters want a slave who is 
smart, has a sense of humor, and a will of their own. There is no pleasure 
in owning a doormat who just sits or is only walked upon. He will become 
bored very fast. Being yourself is the best advice I was given, and I have 
found this to be absolutely true for me.

You will find being a slave everything you dreamed of and so much more if 
you enter this life knowing more of what to expect. If you are meant to be 
in the lifestyle, you will find that, where you were once only walked 
through life, you will be gliding on air. Parts of you that never were 
complete will then become whole. In relinquishing control, I have found 
freedom: freedom to find and be the person I am inside.

It is my hope that, after reading this article, you will be able to make a 
more informed choice about entering this lifestyle. Never forget that, one 
of the most important requirements for existing in this lifestyle is 
honesty. Honesty with yourself first. However, you will find that this is 
not as easy as it sounds. Once you learn to do this, you will find yourself 
at peace and able to enter your servitude with clearer mind, knowing where 
you are and where you want to be. When you accept your Masters collar, you 
give up all your rights. Your friends, your life - nothing will remain 
yours. Being a slave means giving up so much more than you would if you 
were only being submissive. You give up all rights in your life. Slave 
isn't just a word; it's a way of life, a defined action. Be well, my 
friend, and I hope you enjoy this lifestyle as much as I have come to love 
being in it.


Ricks's miria

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as long as my name and email address remain on them. Giving credit where it 
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